Trey

by Madden, A. M.

  On cue, my daughter’s mouth again gaped, creating yet another concern on my long list. We could literally fit our entire apartment inside his living room. In one week, she’d seen enough wealth to know we were very different.

  “Wow,” she repeated for like the fiftieth time that day. Her perusal then landed on a three-story miniature mansion that sat on its own table near the window. “Is that a dollhouse?” Even from where we stood, it was obvious every room had been perfectly decorated for the little plastic family occupying the property.

  “It is.” He raised a challenging brow, silently answering my complaint with his expression. Yes, I bought her a dollhouse… deal with it. “Do you like dollhouses?” he went on to ask, smugly dismissing my scowl.

  “I looove them,” she responded dramatically.

  “Well, how about we eat lunch before it gets cold, and then we can play… okay?”

  “Okay!”

  On the kitchen island, a few individual pizzas with various toppings were spread out, as well as an assortment of kid-friendly drinks. After depositing Alivia on one of the barstools, I watched in awe while they discussed which piece she wanted before he promptly served her.

  “Do you think Mommy hates pizza?” he asked Alivia, but his eyes focused on me. “She looks like it’s going to bite her.”

  “Mommy loves pizza.” As if she only then realized I was there, Alivia twisted on the stool and patted the empty seat beside her. “Come, Mommy.”

  Snapping into the present, I widened my eyes in awe and sat. “Doesn’t this look yummy?”

  At that, Alivia took her first bite, and with a mouthful said, “Tho… ummy.”

  Trey and I laughed at the same time, somewhat breaking the ice. It was obvious we were both determined to focus on our daughter eating lunch for now, and not a thing past that.

  But as our mutual distraction through that meal came to an end, the time to forever change Alivia’s life was suddenly upon us.

  Chapter 21

  Trey

  “Now can I play?” Alivia asked the moment she swallowed her last bite.

  “Sure, sweetheart.” Camilla wiped her cheeks and hands with a napkin. “You go ahead. I’m going to help Trey clean up.” Her words said one thing, the stern expression on her face an entirely different one.

  Oblivious that her dad was about to get a tongue-lashing, and not the good kind, Alivia hopped off the stool and rushed toward the extravagant toy I’d bought her. If this upset Camilla, wait until she saw my second bedroom.

  But as I had with everything else concerning our daughter, nothing she could say would stop me from what I wanted to do. I said it once, and I’d say it again… I had six years to make up for.

  When Camilla began stacking our plates, I placed a hand on her arm to stop her. “Leave it. I want to talk to you.” Her gaze slid to where Alivia happily played with her new toy. “She’ll be fine.”

  “Sweetheart, Trey and I will just be down the hall if you need us, okay?”

  “Yeah, Mommy,” she responded without even looking up. That thing would have her attention for hours.

  I was just about to take Camilla’s hand and then thought better of it. So instead I waved her in the direction we needed to go. The only time Camilla had been to my place, the spare room had been empty, except for a few of my guitars and some boxes I’d never unpacked.

  Today it was completely transformed into a room fit for a princess. No doubt she was going to lose it on me. The moment I opened the door, I almost laughed out loud at how quickly she did just that.

  “Trey, are you freakin’ kidding me?”

  “Nope.” I walked into the center of the room, spreading my arms around the space. “I tried to keep it minimal, mimicking her room at home. Basically… all the necessities.”

  Little did Camilla know, on one of my visits I had literally snapped a ton of pictures of Alivia’s room so I had a reference to go by. Thanks to Leila’s assistant, Haven, the same bedding, furniture, and lamp now occupied her room away from home.

  “It looks just like it, except for the queen-size bed.”

  “That’s in case you wanted to stay as well.”

  “Me?”

  “Well, yeah. I figured the first time she stayed over you wouldn’t trust me without wanting to also stay.” Her eyes narrowed as she stared at me, and if I had to guess, it was because I’d hit the nail right on the head.

  “And her name in lights? That was a necessity?”

  “Of course. Every little girl deserves her name in lights.” I loved that neon sign above her bed. Camilla’s eyes continued to sweep the room corner to corner. “And the pink guitar, the small piano?” Her eyes then bulged. “Is that a karaoke machine?”

  “Yep.” Sure, I may have added a few new things to play with that she didn’t have at home. But in my defense it was only so she wouldn’t be bored with the same old toys. Not to mention, after seeing her interest in Shane’s guitar, why not give her a gentle nudge toward becoming a musician?

  Camilla wordlessly studied the contents with a scowl. “You may as well get used to it. She deserves her own room when she’s here.”

  She remained standing stiffly, her arms folded, her lips tucked between her teeth. Only when she finally faced me did I see the fight leave her. “She’s going to love it.”

  “That’s it?” I asked, not bothering to hide my shock. “I prepared a closing argument for no reason?” The sly expression had me believing this would actually go better than I expected.

  Until she said, “I don’t want her seeing it yet. Once she sees it, she’ll want to stay. And I don’t think you’re ready to have her stay here… with or without me.”

  “And what brings you to that assumption?”

  “Trey, I’ve been very cooperative with all your requests, but now you need to do the same for mine. It’s all going too fast. As is, she’s seen enough wealth in the past few days to know there’s a difference to how we live.” She waved a hand and sighed. “All this, it’s too much too soon. Please, just give her some time.”

  I could’ve easily argued, but as she was picking her battles, so was I. “Fine. We’ll take it slow… for now.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Let’s concentrate on what we need to do. Is there anything specific you want to say to her?”

  Her mouth parted, closed, and then she nodded. “Can you let me do the talking?”

  “Sure.”

  “Okay.” Although she agreed, she remained rooted to the spot where she stood. It hurt to see her looked pained, as if she were about to tell our daughter there wasn’t a Santa Claus.

  I wanted to pull her into my arms, soothe her nerves. But knowing what I did regarding Camilla developing feelings for me, I kept my distance and instead tried to support her by saying, “This isn’t a bad thing, Camilla.”

  “I know.” Seeming to have snapped out of whatever it was she agonized over, she plastered a smile on her face and said, “Let’s do this.”

  We found Alivia exactly where we left her, kneeling and engrossed in her own imagination. From behind, with her caramel-brown hair pulled up into a cute little ponytail, she looked so much like her mom.

  The two favored the same simplistic style, with shorts, T-shirts, and Chucks on their feet. In fact, since they’d popped into my life, I had yet to see Camilla in anything other than that… except for that sexy bathing suit she wore down at the Shore. It wasn’t even a bikini, yet it fit her perfectly, enhancing her curves in all the right ways. Not that I was looking or anything.

  “Sweetie,” Camilla said to pull our daughter’s attention. When she focused on where Camilla and I stood, she went on to say, “Can you come sit with me and Trey for a bit… we want to talk to you.”

  This was it… what I’d been waiting for.

  Like a good little girl, Alivia abandoned her obsession and came to take a seat beside Camilla. I then sat on the coffee table before them.

  As if sensing something serious was
about to happen, she frowned and asked, “Is something wrong?”

  “No, baby. Nothing is wrong.” Camilla took one hand between hers and smiled enthusiastically while Alivia’s eyes widened at her mom’s claim. “Just before you were born, I went to a concert of my favorite band. In fact, Aunt Debbie went with me.”

  “Did Uncle Carson?”

  “No, Aunt Debbie didn’t know Uncle Carson yet.” Camilla waited a pause before continuing. “So, after the show, I met a really cute boy in the band. I really liked him.” Even though I focused on Camilla’s face, she refused to look at me. “Do you know who that boy was?” she then asked. “I’ll give you a hint. He plays guitar.”

  “Trey?”

  “Yep. He played in the band with Shane’s mom and dad, and the other men you met at their house this week.”

  “Shane said they’re really good.”

  “We’re amazing,” I interjected, throwing Alivia a wink when she finally looked at me.

  Suppressing her smile, Camilla shook her head and continued. “Do you remember asking Trey if he could be your daddy?”

  “Yes,” she said, bobbing her head up and down in the process.

  “Well, how would you feel if I told you that Trey was your daddy?”

  “He is? Like a real one?” She eagerly bounced her focus between us. “You’re my daddy?” she asked, addressing me directly.

  Taking her other hand in mine, I nodded with a warm smile. “I am.”

  As our words sank in, confusion did as well, causing her forehead to crumple. She looked at Trey. “But why weren’t you with us?”

  “Sweetheart, it wasn’t Trey’s fault…” Camilla cleared her throat, as the smile she had maintained faltered a bit. “You know Mommy always wants you to be safe and happy?” She waited for Alivia to nod. “Everything I do for you is because I love you so much. But sometimes grown-ups make mistakes.” Alivia’s rapt attention must have made it all so difficult for Camilla to say, “Well…” Before my eyes, I could see all the insecurities and doubts that she must have felt returning. When her lips quivered a bit, she dragged in a deep breath before continuing. “Mommy made… um… I—”

  “Hey, Squirt,” I interrupted, gaining her attention. “Mommy thought what she was doing was right. When Mommy met me, even though she thought I was really cute, I had a job that meant I needed to travel around a lot with my band on a bus and go to all these different cities all the time. It’s a cool job, but that’s hard to do when you have a baby. You can’t fit a crib on a bus, right?” I asked, bulging my eyes for emphasis.

  “Right.”

  “Well, Mommy thought it was better for you to meet me when you were older.”

  “Like now?”

  “Right. And we wanted you to get to know me to be sure you didn’t think I had the cooties or something.” When I made another funny face to emphasize my point, the giggles came with glee. Pretending to be upset, I raised a brow before saying, “Hey, what’s so funny? I don’t have the cooties.”

  “All boys have the cooties… except Shane.” My automatic grunt had her giggling again, as well as Camilla. It was a beautiful sound, one I wanted to hear repeatedly.

  “Does that mean I can call you Daddy now?”

  “Do you want to?” She bounced her chin up and down. “Well, then I would love that.”

  “And sweetheart?” She looked at Camilla with a big smile on her face. “We know this is huge news, and you might have questions that pop into your mind. Whenever you do, you can ask us anything, okay?”

  “Okay.” Not deterred in the least, she turned toward me and asked, “Can I go play with my dollhouse now?”

  “Sure, Squirt.”

  After we watched our daughter scurry back to resume being a kid, Camilla took my hand, squeezed it, and said, “Thank you,” to which I responded with a wink.

  Chapter 22

  Camilla

  Her reaction and the way she wasn’t fazed in the least made me feel like I’d worried for nothing. It all went too easy… until it was time for us to leave.

  We had just finished having ice cream for dessert when Alivia asked, “Daddy, when are you going to move into our house?” A chill shot through me, because my baby had never in her sweet life called a man that, and it only intensified when the rest of her question registered.

  Trey looked at me. I looked at him. And our daughter waited patiently as we fumbled like idiots. “Sweetheart, Trey isn’t going to move in with us.”

  Her forehead crumbled a bit before she asked, “Are we moving here?”

  Oh boy.

  “No, baby.”

  And those were the two little words that caused her to emotionally implode.

  “But I finally have a daddy, and I want him to read me stories and tuck me in at night. How can he do that if he doesn’t live with us?” Trey looked like he was about to pass out.

  Needing to rein her in, I knelt, bringing us to eye level, and took her hand. “Alivia. Trey is your daddy, but that doesn’t mean he has to live with us. There are many daddies, and mommies, who sometimes can’t live with their kids. But when they’re together, they appreciate every minute, because it’s special moments that make them happy and bring them closer. And when they aren’t together, their hearts are filled with happiness until they can be together again.” Her forehead wrinkled with more confusion, and I couldn’t really blame her, since I was literally winging it.

  While Alivia processed my words with those gorgeous blue eyes trained on mine, Trey snapped out of it and mimicked my stance beside me.

  “Squirt.” She slid her gaze to him. “Whenever I come to visit, or you come to visit me, I will read you a book and tuck you in. I promise. And on days when I can’t be with you, we can try and FaceTime. Okay?”

  “But I want us to be a family,” she said in a raspy voice thick with emotion. The way her lip trembled broke my heart. And when Trey pulled her into his arms, I guessed it crushed his as well.

  “We are a family,” he whispered, rubbing a soothing circle over her back. “Being a family means loving each other,” he then said while his eyes caught mine. The more she remained quiet, the more I ached inside. This was the hard part. Being completely honest with her was a must, no matter how difficult it was for her to hear. I had prepared myself for this, but hearing her voice it out loud while seeing the sad look on her face was far worse.

  After a few torturous minutes, she straightened enough to look her father in the eye. “If you love me and my mommy, then why don’t you want to be with us?”

  “I do love you, but…” he said quickly but stopped before saying anything else. I really couldn’t blame him. I knew this would happen and still floundered with what to say.

  “Alivia.” She again slid her gaze toward me. “Your daddy loves you very much, but he and I are just friends.” The sad face she continued to display was literally torturing me. Changing tactics, I went on to say, “You have camp you need to finish, and then school. Mommy has a lot of work to do at home. Daddy has a lot of work to do here in the city. This is all very new, and when things like this happen, yes, they’re happy things, but it will take time for us to get used to having your daddy in our lives.” I paused for her to digest my words. Deciding she needed a bit more help, I added, “Do you remember when Aunt Debbie got you that pretty pink bicycle?” She nodded. “Well, do you remember at first you didn’t know how to ride it, so we put training wheels on to help you?” After another nod, I added, “And then once you got used to it, we took those wheels off and you learned how to ride without them?”

  “Yeah.”

  “This is like that. We all need to get used to this for a while. Okay?”

  She didn’t look at all convinced. Regardless, she nodded and said, “Okay.”

  I gave her a hug and stood wondering when more questions would pop into her head. I knew they would come, but I also knew she needed to process this new development on her own terms.

  “Hey, how about I come in th
e car with you guys when Mr. Alec drives you home? And then…” Trey paused for emphasis and widened his eyes. “I can read you a story and tuck you in tonight. Would you like that?”

  She again nodded a few times before saying, “Yes.”

  “Good.” He glanced at me and winked in that way of his that said, She’ll be fine.

  But would I be?

  This man wasn’t making it any easier on me. The higher I made the brick wall between us, the higher he scaled it.

  It’d been three weeks since we told Alivia. I would like to say things were somewhat normal, but after that fateful day, our lives had definitely changed. Suddenly, there was this other person in our little world. More times than not my daughter would want to call her father and fill him in on her day, or ask him a question, or force him to commit to his next visit before they got off the phone.

  Alivia took many more opportunities to voice how badly she wanted us all under one roof. On one of the occasions when Trey came by just to tuck her in, she pressed her hands together and begged for him to stay so he could have pancakes with us in the morning. When I reminded her that we had no place for Trey to sleep, she offered her bed and said she’d sleep with me.

  This time around Trey seemed much more comfortable with her begging. Once she was done pleading her case, he simply tweaked her nose and teased that his feet would hang off her bed before distracting her.

  But, of course, he had something up his sleeve. The next morning, he knocked on our door bright and early to have those pancakes. That is just one example of many that demonstrated he would do anything for our little girl.

  The more I saw the daddy side of Trey, the more I fell. It was impossible not to. And the obvious lack of touching of any kind didn’t stop the feelings from developing. Debbie believed that kiss we’d shared was a smack to the back of his head. Because that was the last time he’d touched me.