by Harlow Layne
“I’ll talk to Sarah and see what she says, but she’s been trying to get me to open up at least one account for years, so she’ll most definitely be on board with me posting pictures. Will you do it with me? If I’m going to start, I want you to be a part of this with me.”
She blinked up at me a few times before speaking, unsure of what I wanted. I didn’t even know what I wanted since I hadn’t been a part of the social media world. “Of course.”
She was with me no matter what. Even if she didn’t know what I wanted. Even if I didn’t know what I was asking.
4
We were back in LA, in Luke’s new house, a new bed, and in the morning, I’d be headed back to Missouri where I wouldn’t see Luke again until March. I already missed him, and he wasn’t even out of my sight yet. I didn’t know how I was going to get through the next couple of months.
My head rested on his shoulder, my arm draped around his waist. “I don’t want to go home tomorrow.” There was no hiding the sadness in my voice, but I was determined not to ruin our last night together by being miserable. “I want to stay in this bed with you forever.”
Luke’s arms squeezed me tight as he threw a heavy leg over my hip, cocooning me in his embrace. I was plastered to his body and if I got any closer, we’d be fused together.
One.
Maybe that was the point. Either way, I liked it and cherished being in his arms during those last moments before we were separated.
His chest rose as he took in a deep breath. “I know. I wish time could stand still even for a little while so that I could have more time with you.”
I knew that being away from each other wouldn’t only be hard on me. Luke would miss me, and with the way he was clutching me and the sadness in his tone, he was feeling it too. I rubbed up and down his back as I nestled my head between his pecs. “I wish you could come home with me. I’m not ready to give you up yet.”
We were both quiet for a few moments. I stared at the ceiling, watching the shadows from the pool dance while I continued to rub Luke’s back, when he broke the silence.
“I could go back with you.”
“What?” I asked jerking my head back to look up at him almost clipping him in the chin.
“Filming doesn’t start until the third week of the month. We can look at the house together and I can be there if Decker tries to cause a problem. While you’re working, I could be learning my lines or visiting the gym.” He stopped, a thoughtful look took on his gorgeous face. “I could work from there. It would give us another week together. It wouldn’t be long enough, but it’s more time.”
Sitting up on the bed, I bounced with excitement maybe pulling out of his arms to get a better look at him. “Are you serious? Don’t joke with me. Not about this.”
“Hey.” His voice was as serious as a heart attack as he took in my face. “I would never joke about spending time with you.”
“And no one will care that you’re not here?” I asked with excitement, but trying not to get my hopes up.
“I’m sure there will be people who won’t be happy about it. That’s why I can only go for a week so that I can do what I need to do here before filming starts.”
“If you need to stay here I understand. I would never ask…”
“You didn’t ask. I offered. I know that if you could stay here you would. I have no doubt in my mind, but you need to get home to Mason and back to work. We can be together for a little while longer, but in all honesty while it might make things easier right now.” He stopped, and his gaze traced over my face before he took my hand in his. “It might be easier now, but I think it will make things harder in the long run.”
“You think?”
“Yeah, beautiful, I do,” he answered solemnly, nodding his head. “I hope I’m wrong though. After our fight the other day,” Luke chewed the inside of his cheek and looked down at our joined hands. His shoulders rose and fell with each deep breath he took. “I thought there was a good chance that I’d lost you. I wasn’t sure if we were going to get passed me being stupid.”
“Luke, stop beating yourself up about it. I was never going to break up with you. I only wanted a little time to cool off and think about everything. It’s as much my fault…”
“Don’t. Let’s not travel down this path. It's over and I’d like to think we’re in a better place now that we came out the other side.” He squeezed my hand with a soft smile. “I don’t want to let you go, but if I want to go with you tomorrow, then I should probably book my flight.”
“What if there are no more tickets left?” I panicked, jumping out of bed.
“Alex,” Luke laughed grabbing me by the hips, stopping me before I tugged on the t-shirt he was wearing earlier. “I don't think it's a high demand flight.”
“I know it’s not, but now that we can spend another week together I’ve got my hopes up. If you couldn’t make the flight…”
“Shh,” Luke whispered, one finger against my lips. “If I can’t get on that flight there are other flights. Now instead of us going over this again and again, how about I go get my laptop and check the flight. I may be low maintenance, but I’ll still need to pack.”
“Is there anything I can help with?”
“No, I’ve got it. Why don’t you relax, and I’ll be back in a few minutes?” Getting up from the bed, Luke leaned down and gave me a short, wet kiss.
I fished my Kindle out of my purse so that I could read while I waited. Luke would know pretty quickly whether or not the flight was available, but as the minutes ticked by with me in his bed and his enticing smell enveloping me, my eyelids grew heavier with each word I read.
My eyes fluttered open as the bed dipped down and Luke pulled me flush against him. Wrapping me in his arms, his breath fanned against the back of my neck.
With a large yawn, I asked. “Did you manage to get a ticket?”
Giving me a squeeze, he answered with a velvety caress that caused my eyes to droop just from his words. “Yeah, baby, I did. I came up here earlier to tell you, but you were already asleep.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.” Trying to turn to look at Luke, I stopped as he held me in place.
“It’s okay. Go back to sleep. We have to get up early to catch our flight.”
“I’m so happy you’re coming home with me.” I yawned the last few words out making it almost impossible to understand me. Luke laced our fingers together over my stomach. “I love you.”
Placing a soft kiss on my shoulder, he spoke against my skin causing shivers to run down my spine. “I love you too, beautiful.”
With a smile on my face it didn’t take me long to drift off to sleep.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we are on schedule to land at 11:00 a.m. Central standard time. I hope you enjoy your flight.”
My head turned, my eyes bleary from the early morning hour. “I don’t like it when a three-hour flight takes five hours because of the time change. Otherwise, I would have took a later flight.”
Luke’s brows furrowed as he looked down at me. “You do know it still takes the same amount of time, right?”
“I do, but I wasn’t thinking clearly when I booked the flight. I looked at when I’d be landing not taking off. I think I was too excited to notice.”
Wrapping his arm around my shoulders, he gently pulled me down until I was leaning against him and my head was on his shoulder. “You’ll be happy once you’re back in Fairlane and home with Mason.”
“I know I will.” I snuggled deeper into him and wrapped my arm around his middle. “The best part is you’re coming home with me.”
“Are you sure Mason won’t be upset having to share you?”
“Why would he? Mason loves being around you.”
“Maybe he doesn’t want to share his mama with the man she’s been with for the last few days, especially when he’ll have to go back to school the next day.”
“It’s very sweet of you to think of him, but I don’t th
ink he’ll mind. He’ll be ecstatic to see you.”
“Leo can’t wait to meet you.” He added, shocking me. His fingers ran through my hair making my eyes close. The feel of his touch was comforting and loving. “He’s already said he’s going to try to come in March when you come visit.”
“Right now, I love that idea, but when the time comes when physically I haven’t been with you in two months, I might feel differently.” I confessed.
“I have a feeling that we’ll both be feeling that way, but Leo will understand that we’ll want some alone time.”
I’d meant to sleep during our flight, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how hard it was going to be to not see him until March.
Turning my head, I kissed his shirt right above his heart. “I’m going to miss you so damn much.”
Squeezing my shoulder, bringing me closer to him, Luke spoke just above a whisper. “My beautiful girl, I’m going to miss you too. More than I can express.”
Tilting my head up, I peered up at him only to see the underside of his jaw. “I thought you were asleep.”
His fingers had long since stopped moving through my hair but had remained tangled in the strands.
“I could say the same for you.”
“That was the plan, but sleep didn’t find me.”
“What found you then?”
“You,” I breathed out in a deep sigh. “I’ve decided now that I got to spend a real amount of time with you that I’m spoiled.”
“A real amount of time?” he questioned, pulling me back so that his eyes locked on mine.
“This is the most time we’ve spent together and now that I’ve had time to think about it, I think you’re right that it will be harder. Every time we have to part it gets harder and harder to say goodbye.”
“I feel the same way and that’s why I want to talk to the director of Night Shadows and maybe the executives of H@T about changing the schedule. It’s never been done, but we won’t know until I try.”
“What will we do if they won’t?” I hated to ask, but if Luke was shooting in LA for five months out of the year for Night Shadows and wanted to do a movie or two, I wasn’t sure how we’d ever see each other.
“We’ll figure something out, but let’s not worry about it until we know for sure. I’ll try to explain the situation and make them see reason.”
“I’ll try not to worry.”
5
“Can I ask you something?” Luke asked the second I sat down on the couch after putting Mason to bed.
“Of course, you can ask me anything.” I answered, turning my body toward him.
“I know you said in time you’d open up and I don’t want to rush you.” His eyes were wide as he watched me. “If you don’t want to answer something then don’t feel you have to, but I want to know everything about you. The good and the bad.”
“Well, now you’re starting to scare me.” Yes, there were things I hadn’t told Luke, but only because I never spoke of them. To anyone. I was sure there were things that I didn’t know about him too. Even though Luke knew me better than almost anyone after spending so much time getting to know one another via the phone and emails, there was only so much you could say in the amount of time we’d known each other.
“Nothing to be scared of. I promise that nothing you say can or will ever make me leave you.”
When I said nothing, he smiled at me, pulling my feet into his lap and started to massage one beginning at my heel and working up to dig his thumb into my arch.
“Why don’t you ever talk about your parents?” he asked, not knowing that the question would break my heart.
Tears instantly filled my eyes and even though I knew it would be hard to talk about my parents, I knew now was the time to tell Luke about them.
“My mother hasn’t been a part of my life since I was a small child. When my mom and dad first separated, I lived with her, but she had an abusive boyfriend who did very bad things to me and once my dad found out, I was taken away from her.”
“Fuck, Alex, what did he do?” Luke asked, abandoning my foot massage to pull me onto his lap and wrapping his strong arms around me. “You don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to. I… I never thought it would be anything like this. I thought maybe it was a fight or something. Never…” He choked on his words and squeezed me tighter against him. “I never…”
My face had been stuffed into the crook of his neck until his words cut off, but I had to look at him when I heard the pain in his voice. I wasn’t prepared to see the agony etched across every inch of his sad but handsome face.
“Hey!” Sitting up straighter in his lap and cupping his cheek, I tried to smile but knew that I failed. Talking about my parents would be hard, but I had to be strong. “It was a long time ago. I’m fine now.”
His eyes were so sad and beseeching it made me want to cry, but I needed to show him that I was okay and had been for a long time.
“Are you really?” he didn’t believe me.
“It’s just something I don’t like to talk about.”
“I can understand that. Did Decker know?”
Tilting my head to the side, I wondered where he was going with this. “Yes,” I answered hesitantly.
He looked over my shoulder, his mouth opened and closed until he clenched his jaw. The muscle twitched once before his gaze came back to me. Was he upset that Decker knew? “I need to know…” he swallowed once heavily and then continued. “I don’t want this to be difficult for you, and we never have to talk about it again after this night, but I need to know if you were… what kind of bad things?” His eyes darted to the side, but just as quickly came back to me. His next words were spoken in an agonizing whisper. “Did someone touch you?”
The moment those words came out of his mouth, Luke squeezed his eyes shut. I hated that even for a moment he thought something so terrible had happened to me. If it had I couldn’t imagine who I’d have turned out to be. I wouldn’t let him think that had been my fate for even a second longer.
Rubbing my thumbs over his stubbled cheeks, I looked him square in the eye to make sure he could tell that I was telling him the truth. “No, Luke, no! Nothing as horrendous as that. I was neglected and beaten, but never that. I believe that’s the reason I hate crying in front of others. When I would cry about something that’s when he’d take out his frustration out on me.”
Shaking his head, Luke’s eyes finally opened looking bleak. “You were still only a little girl. No one should ever go through what you went through especially when they are so young. I’m so sorry that happened to you and I understand why you wouldn’t want to talk about it. Thank you for trusting me with that.”
“I trust you with my life.” I answered honestly.
Hugging me to him once again, Luke spoke against the top of my head. “Can you talk about your father? If it’s too much I understand, but I’d like to know about him someday.”
“It’s okay. I want you to know, but it’s hard to talk about him and you know my aversion to crying in front of others.” I closed my eyes and blew out a deep breath. “I’m getting better though. At least I think I am.”
His arms tightened to protect me from my past as he rested his cheek on the top of my head. “I think so too.”
“It was hard for my dad to raise me, a little girl, on his own. He didn’t have a great job, but he did his best. If it weren’t for my grandparents giving him money for school clothes and supplies I don’t know how he would have managed. He never married or dated or anything at all that I know of. He worked hard and when he was home he spent every moment with me. I don’t know if he was waiting until I was out of high school or what for him to move on with his life, but he never did.” Hanging my head, I continued. “I was so ashamed when I found out that I was pregnant and had to tell him. That’s why when he said that I had to marry Decker, I did.
“After we got married, I hardly saw my dad. He was still working all the time and Decker had changed. I
didn’t want to do anything that would set him off, and for some reason every time I saw my dad he would lose his shit for days. I think it was because he was afraid that my dad would say I didn’t have to stay married to him anymore. Especially if he found out the way Decker was treating me. Ten years ago, he was killed in a drunk driving accident.” Taking in a stunted breath, I finished. “It had been months since I’d last seen him.”
There was no holding back the tears as I thought back to all those years ago. Instead I let loose all the sadness I’d been holding in since my father’s death. Sobs wracked my body even as Luke held me tight against his strong frame. My body shook and bucked as I let out years’ worth of regret and sadness. I hiccupped out how much I missed my dad over and over again.
Standing from the couch, Luke walked us into my bedroom, closing the door before crawling on to the bed with me still in his arms. Once he had us settled, each on our sides and my face tucked safely against his shoulder, he wrapped his entire body around mine. Cocooning me in, making me feel safer than ever before.
“Fuck, Alex, I had no idea. No wonder you didn’t want to talk about them. I should have known it wasn’t something trivial when you’ve been so open with me about everything else. I’m such a dick for making you talk. All I wanted was to be able to ask your father for your hand in marriage, but I should have known something was amiss when you never spoke of him.”
One hand rubbed up and down the side of my body while he ran his fingers through my hair with the other. It wasn’t until he started to lightly murmur Swedish that I started to calm down. I had no idea what he was saying, but it was soothing. Once I finally let everything out and had thoroughly soaked Luke’s shirt with my tears, my body and mind were weary as if I’d ran a marathon instead of crying for who knew how long in Luke’s arms.