We Cry for Blood

by Devin Madson

  With a scrape of his boot across the floor, he rose from my side, and lingering only to salute Jass and be saluted in return, the young man left.

  I found I was clenching and unclenching my hands, taking a perverse sort of pleasure in the pain it wrought through my swollen, bruised fingers. Jass took Tor’s place at my side, kneeling still and steady like a rock, and made no effort to stop me working my hands. He said nothing, just waited, and soon I found myself spilling all that had happened since we’d last parted in a tide of words. The defence, the Kisians arriving, Leo—all the way up to Ezma and her iron belief that I was Veld.

  Jass listened, still and quiet, until I finished and he let out a puff of air. “Well, that’s… a lot. Rah told me what she’d said about Leo and our herd masters, but I wasn’t sure what to think of it all. But now, I—”

  “It’s true. It must be. It’s the only thing that explains all this. She wants me to build a holy empire. She said this”—I pointed at my missing eye—“has happened for a reason.”

  “She would if she’s trying to manipulate you into doing what she wants.”

  “Yes, but as much as it fills me with such fury to realise it, she’s also right.”

  I could almost make out his sweet frown through the haze of my scarred eye. “What do you mean, she’s right? Bad things don’t happen for a reason, Dishiva. That isn’t how the world works. You didn’t do anything to deserve this, and anyone who says you did can—”

  I squeezed his arm. “I know. But…” Missing Levanti, she had said. I had a hundred questions, but their answers were unlikely to change what I needed to do. “When we have a unique ability to help people, to change something for the better no matter how small, isn’t it our responsibility to do it?”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I’m going to ask you to do something you’ll hate.”

  He snorted. “Wow, what a new idea. You’ve never done that before.”

  “No, this time you’re really going to hate it.”

  28. CASSANDRA

  The sense of owning a shell, of existing, grew upon me. A slow awakening.

  Cassandra? Cass, is that you?

  Hana. Her presence unsettled me, something so wrong in the sound of her words and the feel of her mind pressed against mine. We were looking up at a thick beam crossing the ceiling, dust dancing in the faint light. Nearby, voices mumbled in low conversation.

  Did we… did I… die?

  Everything slowly started to click into place. The sights and smells and sounds of the receiving room, the presence of the empress, and the comfort of a body not ill and in pain as Hana’s had been.

  Septum.

  I’m sorry, I said. Letting you go must have been a final stress we couldn’t handle. There was nothing I could do.

  I had been too worn out to try, too connected to the failing body to feel anything but gratitude it would soon be over. Now my mind was bright and alive. I had been listening to Yakono. The empress’s body must still be there, lying upon the mat against the wall. Had he noticed we’d stopped replying? Did he understand? Or care?

  I knew it was coming, the empress said. I knew, but… I thought I would… be there. At the end.

  Her grief was an odd, twisted thing, mourning the loss of her life though she still lived. It was like not having been present for the death of a loved one, except that loved one was her own body, a body she had thought of as so intrinsically herself.

  Well, that’s it, she said. I knew I probably wasn’t getting out of here, but now I can’t. I’m… truly dead, aren’t I?

  I wanted to comfort her, to tell her we’d find a way, but what way was there? My true body was still alive; I could hear its voice now, a voice I’d spoken with almost all my life, but even if Kaysa could pull me back inside, would there be room for Hana? Was that even possible? Surviving this had not been part of the plan, but that had felt acceptable while tired and trapped in her dying body. Now it was all wrong.

  She must have caught that thought, for with the matter-of-factness of one trying not to dwell on something unpleasant, she said, I suppose we had enough of a connection that you came to me when the… when my body died. I don’t know how it works but lucky it did. Or you might have been…

  She didn’t need to finish. I had died. I had felt the light and warmth leave my body, had felt myself drift away, fading to nothing to the sound of Yakono’s voice.

  I’m sorry I wasn’t there.

  No, I said, don’t be. I’m sorry it happened.

  This was more important.

  Yes.

  This. It was easy to forget we were inside another body, another mind, so completely did it feel like just the two of us.

  I thought you said it was loud last time.

  It was. Perhaps due to the proximity to another Leo, or the stress of the situation. This time has been quiet, like standing in an empty hall but… not alone, if that makes sense.

  It did. She was here, but the feeling of… space was impossible to ignore. Not empty space, rather darkness full of people I couldn’t see standing just out of reach.

  Have you tried… communicating?

  As subtly as I could to avoid detection, yes, but he feels very… cut off at the moment. We can move though, look.

  One of my fingers lifted off the divan.

  The plan had been to get into his head and learn to control him enough to kill Unus with these far stronger hands. We had expected the first part to be more difficult.

  Perhaps it will get harder once Unus returns, I said. Perhaps they’re only really connected when at least one of them is nearby.

  You mean maybe Septum doesn’t have the strength to link with the others over long distance on his own? That makes sense. He feels so weak. I’ve only seen a flicker or two to prove he’s here at all.

  Hurried footsteps hammered their way up the stairs. “Your Holiness? Your Holiness!”

  “Dom Villius is out,” Kaysa said, her voice drawing near. “What’s the matter?”

  “It’s… it’s Miss Marius, my lady. She… she’s… I was just taking her food and tea, and she was just lying there, propped up against the wall, not moving and—”

  “What?” Kaysa’s voice cracked. “Dead? Are you sure?”

  “Yes, my lady. I’m sorry, I—”

  Rhythmic steps crossed the floor as Kaysa paced. “She can’t be dead. I was just…” She breathed out shakily, and I’d never thought to hear such emotion in her voice at my passing. It felt wrong to be listening to it, for her to not know I was here, to let her bare her honest feelings in a way she would never have done had I been present.

  Would I have been as moved by her loss? The question filled me with shame.

  The maid sniffed.

  “Calm,” Kaysa said, hushing her like a mother calming an anxious child, and it was strange to hear such kind sounds coming from my mouth. “You did nothing wrong.”

  “No, my lady, but… well, His Holiness did say—”

  “I’ll tell him. You may go.”

  The woman sniffed again. “Thank you, my lady. But… what should we… do with her? She’s just lying there and…”

  “Lay the body out neatly for now. I’ll… I’ll be there soon.”

  “Yes, my lady, of course. His Holiness will want to perform the proper rites. Thank you, my lady.”

  Hana growled. That was her body. Her whole existence. She was an empress, a true daughter of the Otako line, and her body deserved to be honoured as such. Or at least given a proper Kisian burial.

  Footsteps hurried away almost as quickly as they had come, leaving nothing but a humming silence and the pacing of Kaysa’s steps.

  She genuinely seems to care that you’re gone, Hana said.

  It’s probably just shock.

  Septum’s eyes rolled. You would say so. You know, you could… try to get her to take you back. Dying is very permanent. I have no choice now, already made my decision, but you…

  I made my decisi
on too.

  Yes, while constrained by pain and exhaustion. You’re allowed to change your mind now you’re not.

  I didn’t answer and she didn’t go on, each of us trying to keep our thoughts to ourselves. She because she had her life to grieve, I because she was right. I did not want to die.

  The slowing clop of hooves floated up through the open balcony doors. Kaysa stopped pacing, the room seeming to hum with the tension in her muscles. The time to change my mind had passed. Unus was coming. This was the only chance we would have to kill him and Duos together.

  Footsteps approached. A voice. Definitely Leo, and yet the sense of empty space within Septum continued. No connection. No noise, just me and the empress and the empty sense of presence.

  The door opened and a quick tread strode in. Halted.

  “Unus?”

  “Unfortunately for you, no,” Leo said. A boot squeaked on the floor, and a gentle click heralded the door sliding closed. It took all our self-control not to look. “Doubly unfortunate. Dead, are they? A pity. They would have made it much easier to organise marriage with Empress Sichi, but no matter. I will make use of the other assassin and now have no reason to keep you alive.”

  “What?” she cried. “No!”

  “I’m afraid without them you are quite useless, my dear. And in fact, given your expressed desire to help save Unus from me, you’re dangerous. Safest dead.”

  “Unus! Unus, please!”

  Scuffed steps backed across the floor, and we clenched Septum’s hands into fists. Still no connection. Hana pushed gently at the edge of the nothingness. Unus was just there; we ought to have been able to connect. The distance had been greater at the Witchdoctor’s house, yet there was nothing. We were still alone in our great empty cave.

  I don’t like this, she said. It feels wrong. Like a cage. Do you think… do you think he knows we’re here? Or suspected we would try this?

  I don’t think so. He is behaving as though we’re really dead.

  She pushed again, harder, testing the edges. His footsteps stuttered to a halt.

  Noise hit us like a speeding cart and we flinched, a cry pulled from our lips. Leo appeared overhead. “Well, look at that. Foolish to have so underestimated them.”

  “What? She’s alive?”

  Her demand was shrill, but I could not focus on it. On her. On the fleeting warmth that was proof she really did care. The connection flared hot and bright and loud, and I could see why the empress had struggled the first time she’d experienced it. This time she lunged us up off the divan.

  Septum’s muscles were stiff, but he moved with more strength than Hana’s old body, and our hands closed around Unus’s throat, tightening. Kaysa screamed and clawed at our arm as we squeezed, but I could not heed her. This was our only chance to stop him. To save Kisia. To save Miko.

  His eyes rolled back. He was going to die. We were going to end him and be free of—

  Unus gripped our forearms and kneed us in the balls.

  I had used just such a move against countless men over the years, leaving them writhing, but I wasn’t prepared. Not for the looming dread. Or the pain—an explosive sensation simultaneously the tingling of smacking one’s elbow and the most excruciating thing I had ever felt. My stomach dropped. My knees buckled. And as I hit the floor, I knew exactly why all those men had been unable to fight back. Waves of nausea flooded in and I could not move, existing only as an empty husk of pain and misery.

  I feel sorry for everyone I’ve ever done that to, Empress Hana said. Almost everyone. Some of them really deserved it.

  Somewhere nearby, Unus let out a breathy laugh owning a manic edge.

  “Hoping to kill us all, Cassandra?” he said. “The ultimate assassination. But now I know, and you… you are stuck in that empty, soul-sucking hole of a body I detest being connected to, and you are the one who is going to die. You thought I wanted Septum so you couldn’t use him against me as some sort of weapon? Nothing so elegant. I just need him to die at the right time. Now you’ll get to die with him.”

  I struggled up onto wobbly knees. Die at the right time.

  At the right time, Hana repeated, a final realisation dawning over us both.

  The balcony.

  There was no time to think of something clever. No time to wonder if there was another way out of this. No time to think at all, only to act.

  I ran.

  The distance to the open balcony doors was at once impossibly far and no distance at all, our soft shoes thudding across the floor. No time for finesse. No time for grace or second thoughts. Time only to leap.

  Breeze rustled our hair. Sunlight struck our face. The railing dug into our stomach and we threw ourself forward, sick fear dropping through us as we overbalanced. A rockery stretched below, all jagged edges and hard, skull-cracking rocks, and for a terrified moment I wished I could pull myself back. It might not be my body, but I would still die in it.

  Dearest Katashi, I’m coming. I’m—

  A hand gripped my ankle. My knee slammed into the railing, someone grunting with effort above me. “Don’t you dare!” Leo snarled.

  “Fuck you! Let go!” Our voice came out as Leo’s, and not looking down at the rockery, we desperately wriggled and kicked and bucked, trying to pull free. Trying not to think about how much I didn’t want to die.

  I slipped, but a hand snatched at my other leg. “Cass!” Kaysa cried. “Don’t!”

  “Let go, Kaysa! This will stop him!”

  “Help me pull him back,” Leo said, pain shearing like a spiked collar through my ankle.

  They hauled, strength born from desperation. Blood was rushing to my head, and the rockery swirled below us, promising death.

  “Don’t do this, Cass,” she said, the words pushed through gritted teeth. “You don’t want to die, I know you don’t.”

  “But you want me to. Let go, Kaysa! This is your chance to have the body to yourself.”

  Figures appeared in the rockery, one carrying a white bundle under their arm. It was only two floors down, enough to kill us if I landed head first onto rocks, but maybe not if they managed to cushion our fall.

  “Fuck!”

  We wriggled like a caught fish, and one of our soft boots began to slip.

  “Damn it, Cass, I don’t hate you. I mean, I do, but… I don’t want you to die. I don’t think… I don’t think I can live without you.”

  Kaysa’s words stole all breath from my lungs, and I stopped wriggling, twisting to see her. A glimpse of my own face set in determination, teeth gritted, and Hana took over, bucking our stolen body, desperate to finish the job.

  I’m sorry, she said. But there’s no other way.

  There wasn’t, but Kaysa had said she couldn’t live without me. My heart ached like dozens of needles pressing into my chest.

  My boot slipped. I was going to slide right out of her grip. Leo was shouting at the people gathering in the rockery, but they weren’t ready, the bundle of fabric just a pile of linen, pale on dark stones.

  I’m coming, Katashi. I’m coming.

  “Please, Cass,” Kaysa said, the words strained.

  “No,” I said. “But I’m sorry. For a lot.”

  It was all I could say. All I would. My shoe slipped farther, and she scrabbled to keep hold of me. Leo was still shouting, but I wasn’t listening anymore. The rockery was just there. God, I wished we weren’t going to go head first, but maybe it would be a quicker end, smashing our brains—

  Don’t think about it. It’ll be over before it even hurts. And I’m with you this time. You don’t have to die alone.

  Yakono had been with me last time, in his way, and again I had the feeling of needles pressing into my chest and—

  The shoe slipped.

  Our weight tore through Leo’s grip and we fell. Until something as light as a feather brushed my foot, and I was wrenched back until I was leaning against the railing. It dug into my gut and yet there was Septum, falling, falling, with nothing to stop
him. To stop her. A strangled cry left my throat and I reached out, but the body hit the ground. A sickening crack drowned out every other sound.

  Relief and guilt and grief vied for my attention, but I could only stare, numb, hardly even aware of the change in my body. Of the change in the mind now sitting alongside mine. Not Hana anymore. Never Hana again. Kaysa felt familiar and yet different, my body both comforting and all out of proportion.

  Beside me, Unus had stopped shouting. And it was Unus now. I could see that with Kaysa’s understanding, see the difference in the way he stood and in his expression. This man wasn’t Leo in the same way Kaysa wasn’t me.

  Below, the people who had been trying to stretch a sheet between them slowly edged toward the body. It wasn’t far down, but head first onto rocks had a finality about it. I could only hope she had been right and it had been quick.

  “I see you liked her,” came Kaysa’s bitter words from my mouth. My mouth. My voice. The sense of slowly dawning euphoria was impossible to ignore. I was back in my body. I was home.

  Unus looked up. “You’ve broken it. The reborn prophecy. He… wasn’t supposed to die here. Not like that.”

  “Good or bad?” Kaysa asked, and Unus shook his head, folding his arms over his chest like the world was suddenly too cold.

  “I don’t know.” He didn’t look at us. “I don’t know. That depends what Duos chooses to do.”

  “Surely there’s nothing he can do now. Right?”

  But fear lived in the depths of Unus’s eyes, eyes I had seen full of the cruellest malice. The Leo who had killed Captain Aeneas was still out there, and we had just royally pissed him off.

  29. RAH

  I had no idea whose house it was and didn’t care. The empress had taken over a fine manor, and my dirt-dusted boots slammed into the floor with every step as I hurried along the passage. I had not seen her since I’d arrived. No doubt she was busy with more important things.

  There were guards outside Gideon’s room—both men I had seen around since Syan. They eyed me warily as I approached.

  “Rah.” I turned to find Amun leaning in the opposite door frame, waiting for me.