Seasons After Fall

by Reginald Linsao

  He shot out of bed and looked around the room for a weapon. Someone was bound to come back here soon, and it would be his chance to get out of here. After his experience at Hearst Castle, he didn’t trust communities like this anymore. They say that they want to help, but in reality, they have their own agenda in mind. Everyone always has their own agenda in mind. All Rowan wanted to do was focus on the one thing that he knew would actually help him: find Caitlyn and Allie.

  He found a black pen inside the top drawer of the end table, which he carefully concealed underneath his pillow. There were footsteps outside that marched closer and closer to the door, and as they got louder, Rowan’s grip on the pen got tighter and tighter. But the footsteps stopped. Instead, their sound was replaced by a familiar voice who asked to come in.

  Rowan sat up and dropped the pen. Like a reflex, he dove forward into the arms of the girl who came into the room with a nervous glow in her eyes. It was unbelievable—Caitlyn was here. She was really here.

  She embraced him with a rush of warm affection. The boy’s emaciated body had become unfamiliar and new to her soft, gentle hands, yet at the same time, her best friend felt no different to her. As Rowan beheld her, he noticed that she, too, had changed—her auburn hair had grown unruly, dark circles had grown underneath her hollow eyes, and she had lost much of the graceful vigor that brought her pallid face to life. But her tenderness remained, and it softened the misery that had engulfed his heart ever since they had first been torn apart.

  “I overheard some girl say your name during her evaluations,” said Caitlyn, finally pulling away from Rowan’s tight grasp. “I couldn’t believe it was you, but I had to find out for myself.”

  “I don’t know what to say. I don’t know where to start.”

  “I don’t either. I thought I was never going to see you again.”

  Rowan sat back down on the bed. “I—I can’t believe you’re here.”

  “Tell me everything that happened to you,” said Caitlyn, sitting down next to him. “And I’ll tell you everything that happened to me.”

  The boy leaned on her shoulder and shared as much of his journey with her as he could. He told her about the mental hospital, about Lorena’s father’s death, about all of the hardships he and Lorena went through just to get here—and about the gruesome, terrifying actions of the plague doctors. Caitlyn listened to him with sadness and sympathy, encouraging him to pour everything out of his mind. He relived every single awful memory from the past month, which Caitlyn paired with her own experiences: the loss of her parents, the dangerous, life-altering chaos that infested the cities on the week of the bombings, and the strenuous work that she had to go through just to make sure that this community became a safe asylum for those who really needed help. The two of them sat patiently with each other, passing the night away with their stories and questions.

  Rowan took a shallow breath, as the air was too thick to swallow. “Is Allie okay?”

  “She is,” said Caitlyn, using her shirt to wipe her tears. “She isn’t around much because she does research and supply runs with one of the groups in this community. She’s really insistent on helping others.”

  “And your brother?”

  “He’s fine, too. Duncan’s a pretty important guy here. I wouldn’t be surprised if he shows up in a moment—he’s one of the people who evaluate those who might be sick.”

  “So he’s going to check on me?”

  “Probably. It depends on how many people are being evaluated today.”

  “Is this place big, then?”

  “There are a lot of people here. I still see people I’ve never even talked to. It’s really crazy to me, you know? I’d see random people on the street every day in San Jose and never really think about them, but when I see people here, I always wonder something about them instead of just letting them pass me by. I wonder if they’re okay, if their loved ones are near, or if they need any help. It’s… different now. Everything has changed.”

  “Do you think that Lorena and I will fit in here?”

  “Of course. You’ll both fit in as long as I’m here.”

  “Is she okay? You said you heard her say my name during her evaluations. Were you there?”

  “Yeah. It seems like she’s not sick, but she was still talking to the doctors and stuff when I rushed over here to come find you. So I don’t know.”

  “This good won’t last,” said Rowan, shaking his head. “I know that I’ve finally found you and my sister and all, but I don’t trust how I feel right now. Everything can go wrong in the blink of an eye. What if one of us gets sick? What if this community gets wiped out by something? What if something just goes wrong?”

  Caitlyn grabbed Rowan’s fist and curled it open. “I know you’re worrying and hurting a lot right now, and you have the right to be afraid of what might be coming, but we’ll deal with that problem once it comes—and we’ll deal with it together.”

  Before Rowan could respond, Duncan came in the room with several other men and women. He ushered them away before giving Rowan a big, crushing hug.

  “I knew it was you!”

  “Nice to see you too,” said Rowan. “Are you really going to evaluate me?”

  “I feel like I must. Regulations are strict here.”

  “Why? What do you guys do with the sick people once you sniff them out?” Rowan thought about the plague doctors. Was their ideology gospel? He wouldn’t be surprised if every community felt the same way about the infected—after all, people were afraid.

  “We have a treatment center next to this building,” said Duncan. “We’ve made progress, but we haven’t been able to fully rehabilitate or cure anyone yet. Our goal is to figure out what we can do about this sickness. Or, well, sicknesses.”

  Duncan took a seat on the bed beside Caitlyn and Rowan. “Some people don’t think it can be treated, especially because it seems to have different effects on people, but I personally think we can do something about it. Even if we don’t fix everything, we can do something.”

  “How?” asked Rowan.

  “We can study every single version of the sickness that we can, no matter how long it takes. We’ve got people from so many different fields of study here, and we can use all of the disciplines to figure out what’s going on. Psychology, bioengineering, chemistry—all sorts of things.”

  “Well, what if it turns out that someone you’ve been keeping locked up isn’t sick at all?”

  “That’s fine, because at least I know we did something to try to help that person in some sort of way. You don’t have to be sick to need help.”

  “And Lorena isn’t sick, right? You didn’t send her to that treatment center?”

  “I can’t say for certain,” said Duncan. “One of our constraints is that we leave all potential infected for the day in this building to see if there are any changes in the next day, and if there are, we do further evaluations. It helps us tell if someone is infected.”

  “Can you bring her here?”

  “Of course,” said Duncan, going to the door. “I’ll be right back.”

  Caitlyn shut the door for him. “He’s going to leave you in here for the night, you know.”

  “Where do you stay at?” Rowan looked around the room again to gauge how narrow and packed it was. He hoped there was something better than this out there.

  “There’s a hotel nearby,” said Caitlyn. “It’s actually really nice. I’ll show you around there tomorrow.”

  “You think I’ll get out tomorrow, then?”

  “I’ll get Duncan to get both you and Lorena out of here. I am way too impatient to show you around.”

  Almost without delay, Duncan returned to the room with Lorena. She immediately scurried over to Rowan and held on to his arm before apologizing profusely to him for what had happened back at the bridge.

  “It’s okay,” he said. “Some woman told me that the guy who knocked me out got reassigned—so it wasn’t totally our fault for what happened.�
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  “Are you Caitlyn?” asked Lorena, turning to the girl beside Rowan.

  “Yup, and you must be Lorena.”

  “Rowan has said so much about you.”

  “And he’s said a lot about you!”

  “I was really worried. I’m so happy we were able to find you.”

  “Thanks for keeping him safe,” said Caitlyn. “Rowan can’t put up a fight. I bet you’re the one who smacked a few heads and did all the work.”

  Lorena laughed. “Yeah, he kind of got beat up earlier.”

  “I haven’t eaten much or drank anything in a while,” said Rowan. “Don’t pick on me.”

  “Speaking of food and drink,” said Caitlyn, standing up at her brother’s silent request. “I’ll come pick both of you up at lunch time tomorrow.”

  Rowan followed her to the door. “Does that mean you’re going right now?”

  “Sorry guys,” said Duncan. “I can’t go against protocol much further. Get some rest and we’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Caitlyn, you’ll really make sure to be here tomorrow, right?” asked Rowan. “Even if something happens?”

  She took one last look at him before closing the door. “Don’t worry, Rowan. Really. I’ll see you soon—I promise. Hang in there for just one more day.”

  19

  Rowan woke up in a sweat. He leapt out of bed and scampered around the room in a daze before Lorena’s exasperated groan snapped him out of his confusion.

  “You okay?” she asked, slowly wiping her eyes.

  “I don’t know what that was.”

  “Did you dream about something?”

  The boy sat back down on the bed at the tips of Lorena’s feet. “No. No, I don’t think so. But my mind was running all night, and I guess it hasn’t stopped.”

  “What’s up?”

  “I was telling Caitlyn yesterday that even though I found her and my sister, I’m still really worried. I honestly don’t think I feel much better than I did just a few days ago. There’s still a tight, twisting knot in my stomach and my soul feels like it’s been drained of every last bit of hopeful energy.”

  “Maybe you’re still shocked about yesterday.” Lorena sat up and freed the space between her and Rowan by pushing the blankets and pillows to the edge of the bed. “I mean, maybe it hasn’t really sunken in yet that you’ve finally found Caitlyn and your sister.”

  “That’s not it, though,” said Rowan. “It’s like I have new fears that replaced the old ones. This whole happy and fortunate situation feels like it won’t last for long. For all I know, Caitlyn will disappear or die in a day or a week or a month and I can’t do anything about it. What if I never even get to see my sister? What if any one of us gets sick and we’re not allowed to spend time together anymore? I mean, the doctors and researchers here haven’t found a way to reliably and permanently control any of the sicknesses here, have they? And even if they did, what if those who get sick just become so different from who they originally were as people that their loved ones don’t even recognize them anymore?”

  “Don’t think like that, Rowan.”

  “It’s not easy to just stop. I can’t help it.”

  Lorena picked up the pen that Rowan had dropped on the floor the previous day. “I know it’s not easy. I say that because I thought like you did, too, for a while.”

  She put the pen away into the drawer. “It’s really easy to fall into this trap of just expecting the worst and being scared of bad things happening. But I started thinking of this thing that helps me get through stuff, and I think it might help you too.”

  “What is it?”

  “Well, I think about the seasons.”

  “Why?”

  “Because they remind me about how life goes. You have these nice, beautiful springs and summers, but they lead into cold falls and even colder winters. Right now, you’re only focused on the cold fall and the colder winter, but you have to remember that there are other seasons after fall. No matter how long, no matter how harsh fall and winter can be, spring and summer are still ahead. That’s why we shouldn’t be expecting the worst. We should be expecting the best—because that’s all we’ve got to look forward to.”

  “Life’s not that simple,” said Rowan. “We think differently about this. Perhaps in another life I’m like you, but I’m not you. I’m me, and what I see aren’t seasons. I see reality—and all the bad things that come with it.”

  “Well, if you see reality, then you must see the good things that come with it, too.”

  Rowan held on to her comment for a moment. He didn’t disagree with her entirely, as he did recognize that life did have good things in it. But for him, it just didn’t seem like it. Her reality was different from his. Even though they both faced tragedy, they had come out the other side differently, and Rowan recognized that.

  “I guess we’ll see how things go,” he said.

  There was a knock at the door. Rowan, forgetting that he had no way to unlock the door from the inside, approached the knob. Before he was able to turn it, Duncan strolled into the room guided by Caitlyn’s enthusiastic yell.

  “Today, we will have a good day!”

  “Where do we start?” asked Lorena.

  “Lunch, of course,” said Caitlyn, taking her hand. “Lunch is great here. It’s better than all of the cold meals you two must’ve been eating for the past few weeks.”

  Rowan followed everyone out the door. “We weren’t subject to terrible food the whole time. Hearst Castle did have some good food.”

  “How would you know?” Lorena laughed. “You hardly ate any of it.”

  “Good point, but you had some. And I know you thought it was better than the dry noodles I made you eat.”

  “Hey,” said Caitlyn, interrupting their conversation. “I’m sure the dry noodles got you through some tough times. There’s a time and place for all kinds of food.”

  “I guess so,” said Rowan. “Anyway, I hope you’re right about lunch.”

  “You always trust my opinion.” Caitlyn held the door open to the exit of the building. “Well, until it’s about something important, I guess.”

  The fog that had greeted Rowan and Lorena to San Francisco the previous day was no longer present. Now, they could see the towering structures that remained standing, and though much of everything was still cracked and destroyed just like it was everywhere else, there was a hint of strength to everything. The rubble wasn’t just rubble; it was something that could be rebuilt. People roamed the streets with a sense of purpose, and it seemed like nobody was around just to be around. Everyone was unified to make this place better.

  Rowan, Lorena, Caitlyn, and Duncan pushed through the bustling crowds to make it to the high school at the end of the road. There was a long line leading into the cafeteria, but it moved fast. Before long, they carried their heavy plates to the very back of the large lunchroom, which is what Caitlyn preferred. She couldn’t stand having to scream in order to be heard.

  “The bread is homemade, by the way,” she said. “You should find some time to watch them bake it in the warehouse. The smell really makes you forget about a lot of things.”

  “Maybe someday,” said Rowan. He pushed the lentils around his plate with his spoon.

  Duncan put his utensils down. “Remind me to take you and Lorena to the council later today. We need to get you registered in the system.”

  “What does that entail?”

  “Well, it’s just for everyone’s benefit. It’s good to keep a count of how many people are here if we want to make sure we’re using our supplies and resources properly and efficiently.”

  “Was it always this crowded when you guys got here?”

  “Somewhat,” said Caitlyn. “There were a lot of people here in the first place, but it just keeps getting bigger every day. It’s really nice, actually.”

  “And there haven’t been any big problems because of that?” Rowan carefully swallowed his food. “Like, you guys really haven’t been
having trouble with food and water? Crime? Stuff like that?”

  “People are kind of held to a high standard of responsibility here. It kind of pressures everyone to help out more than usual. Plus, the council is really good about assigning and recommending jobs that are needed for this place.”

  “Do you really think that things will stay this way?”

  “There’s a lot of hope that this place brings,” said Caitlyn, looking up from her plate. “And I think that’s why everyone is the way they are here. You should be the same. I’m actually really happy you’re here to help us rebuild this place into how the world used to be. Or, even to make it better than it was.”

  There was a loud screech that echoed throughout the room. Rowan, at first, was spooked by the noise until Caitlyn directed his eyes toward the large platform in the center of the cafeteria. A tall, brawny man with a clean, white mustache had found his place behind a microphone stand, and he looked quite apologetic for the feedback that was still carrying itself out through the continued conversations at every table. He adjusted his thick coat and spoke without regard for calling attention.

  “We’ve got five more individuals that we need to check for the sickness,” he said. “As always, if you have any concerns or information to share, please check in at the court building.”

  He stepped off the platform and walked outside. Rowan, pushing his plate aside, took a look around the room and noticed how nobody seemed to care about the announcement at all.

  “How often does that happen?” he asked.

  “All the time,” said Caitlyn. “It’s just normal protocol here. Arthur is one of the people on the council, and he’s really adamant on being transparent about everything that goes on here. There are no surprises when it comes to him.”

  “Will he be there when we go to the council?” asked Lorena.

  “Most likely.”

  Rowan didn’t really want to keep asking Caitlyn even more questions, as he just wanted to focus on spending time with her and relaxing for once. But he couldn’t quell his everlasting unease. “What jobs do you think they’ll assign us? I’m kind of afraid that it’ll be something awful or useless.”