Emilia noticed he rarely ever danced. He was more content to sit off to the side. That, however, did not mean he was alone. From where she stood by an open window with Lilly, she could see that Lord Edon was surrounded by a group of gentlemen who seemed to be hanging onto his every word.
What a contrast he was to Benjamin. Benjamin wasn’t too far away. He was sitting in a chair, and he was talking to his uncle. He wasn’t the type of gentleman who drew others to him like a moth to a flame. He stuck mostly to himself or just one other person. It was no wonder very few people paid attention to him. But really, did she want to be with someone like Lord Edon who thought nothing of hopping from one lady’s bed to another?
She never understood the attraction most ladies had for him. Granted, mistresses were common, but she’d have the temptation to whack her husband on the head if he thought he was going to be in her bed after being intimately engaged with someone else. Benjamin might have his faults, but he was much better than Lord Edon.
So far, she’d had one dance with Benjamin, and she was due to have another one with him soon. She’d had a few dances with other gentlemen, too, but for some strange reason, she’d found herself looking over at Benjamin while dancing with them.
“I think you don’t mind being married to him.”
Lilly’s words pulled her out of her thoughts. Emilia blinked in surprise and took her gaze off of Benjamin. She hadn’t realized she’d been staring at him. Heat rose up to her cheeks. She blamed it on the heat in the room. There was no way she could bring herself to blame it on something else. She’d rather not let her thoughts go in that direction.
“Maybe I should have brought that blue diamond ring for you to wear this evening,” Lilly commented, not hiding her amusement.
Emilia ignored her friend’s words. Instead, she asked, “Kitty did say she was coming this evening, didn’t she?”
“She did,” Lilly replied. “You know how things are when her brother chaperones. He takes forever to get ready to go anywhere.” With a roll of her eyes, she added, “And gentlemen complain that it’s ladies who require more time to get dressed.”
“Knowing her brother, he can’t stop looking at himself in the mirror.”
Lilly giggled. “He probably hopes that if he looks at himself long enough, he’ll become attractive.”
While it was mean for her friend to say such a thing, Kitty’s brother was so unpleasant that neither of them found him the least bit handsome. There was something to be said for a gentleman’s disposition making him desirable. Once more, she glanced at Benjamin. He was every bit as kind as he seemed upon first meeting him. Maybe that was why she had difficulty remembering why she used to think he was physically unappealing.
“Kitty’s here,” Lilly said, drawing her attention away from him.
Emilia’s gaze went to the entrance of the ballroom. By the look on Kitty’s face, she wasn’t the least bit happy. Her brother was standing next to her and telling her something. Given the fact that he was scowling, he wasn’t any happier than she was.
“Let’s rescue her,” Lilly said.
Emilia nodded, and the two left the open window and made their way to the entrance. Emilia couldn’t make out anything Willard was telling Kitty until they reached them.
“All I’m saying is that you need to put forth an effort to get a husband,” Willard said. “Do you really want to be a miserable old spinster?”
“I haven’t seen you make an effort to get a wife. Why don’t you do that since you seem to think marriage is so important?” Kitty asked him, not hiding her frustration.
“I am a gentleman,” he replied. “I will be worth marrying no matter what my age is.”
Emilia caught the snicker on Lilly’s face, and she knew they were thinking the same thing: even the most desperate of ladies wouldn’t marry him. Emilia might have bemoaned her fate when she found out she had to marry Benjamin, but never once did she consider slitting her wrists. She’d rather die than marry someone like Willard.
Noticing them, Kitty told Willard, “I’m going to talk to my friends.”
Willard took her arm before she could walk away from him. “You better dance while you’re here. I didn’t give up an evening with my friends to go to a boring ball.”
Friends? Who in their right mind would befriend him? Instead of voicing the thought aloud, Emilia joined Lilly in offering him a polite greeting. Kitty had the patience of a thousand saints to tolerate him.
Kitty hurried to go with Emilia and Lilly as they went back to the window. “I can’t wait until I’m twenty-one,” she said. “At that time, I can leave the townhouse and find a place of my own.”
“How can you do that?” Emilia asked.
“I have money from my inheritance,” Kitty replied.
They reached the window, and Kitty let out a sigh as a breeze wafted into the room. Emilia couldn’t blame her. The breeze felt wonderful.
“You really don’t want to marry?” Lilly asked. “You weren’t just saying that?”
“No, I wasn’t just saying that,” Kitty replied.
“What a shame,” Lilly said. “Not all gentlemen are awful like your brother is. Why, look at Benjamin. He’s wealthy, patient, and sweet. You would have done very well if you had taken Emilia’s offer to switch places with her on her wedding day.”
Emilia glared at Lilly. Why would her friend dare say such a thing?
Lilly made eye contact with her and shot her a knowing grin.
Emilia quickly looked away from her. Drat! Lilly had only said that to prove a point, and that point was that Emilia was lucky to have Benjamin. She just knew Lilly was going to tease her about him after he won Lilly over at the dinner party.
“I know Benjamin is an ideal husband,” Kitty told Lilly, “but I’d rather be a spinster. I think it’d be freeing to be able to make my own decisions. I wouldn’t have to do something just because my husband wanted it. I’ve met a couple of spinsters, and they don’t feel like they’ve been deprived of anything because they never got married and had children. Why should ladies be required to marry in order to serve their purpose in life?”
“It’s not only ladies who are told to marry,” Lilly said. “Titled gentlemen have that burden, too.”
“Well, I have no title,” Kitty replied. “I have nothing to gain by being stuck with a husband. My brother is awful enough. I don’t want to live the rest of my life with someone like that.”
“Then don’t choose someone like that,” Lilly said. “You do have a choice in the matter.” She gestured to the gentlemen in the room. “Surely, there must be someone here who will give you freedom. Not everyone is an ogre like your brother is.”
“If she doesn’t want to marry, she shouldn’t,” Emilia interjected. “If she can support herself after she turns twenty-one, then why not let her do it?”
Lilly stared at Emilia in disbelief for a moment then let out a groan. “I don’t understand everyone’s resistance to marriage. I happen to be very happy with Roger, and I’m even happier knowing I’m going to have a child.”
“You know this for sure?” Emilia interrupted.
“I didn’t want to say it until Kitty was here. I wanted both of you to find out at the same time,” Lilly replied. “I’m not telling my sister until I see her. I want to see the look on her face when she realizes she’ll be an aunt. When we were children, we often discussed how fun it’d be to spoil our nieces and nephews.”
“Well, it’s wonderful you’re going to have a baby,” Emilia said. “I know it’s one of the things you’ve been looking forward to.”
“It’d be even better if a certain friend would realize how good her husband is and try to have her own child. Then our children could be friends and grow up together,” Lilly told Emilia.
Emilia shook her head. “You’re a terrible friend, Lilly. All you ever do is pester people to do what you want.”
“But you are happy to be with Benjamin,” Lilly insisted. “I don’t know why you’re too stub
born to admit it.”
Emilia was ready to reply when she saw Willard coming up to them. She cleared her throat and gave a slight nod in his direction so Lilly would keep whatever other thoughts she had to herself.
Lilly glanced over at him.
As soon as Kitty noticed him, she groaned. “I wish I was old enough to not need him,” she muttered.
The three quietly waited for him to reach them.
“I didn’t bring you here so you could spend the entire evening gossiping with your friends,” Willard told Kitty. “You’ve already greeted them. It’s time you danced. Will you go further into the room so the gentlemen will notice you, or would you prefer it if I filled your dance card?”
Kitty’s eyes grew wide in alarm, and Emilia couldn’t blame her. Knowing Willard, he’d select gentlemen just like him.
“We’re done talking,” Lilly spoke up for her. “We were just about to find gentlemen to dance with.”
“Then get to it,” Willard snapped.
How Lilly managed to hold her smile despite the fact that he’d been rude to her was beyond Emilia. Sometimes her friend frustrated her to no end, but at other times, Emilia couldn’t help but be in awe of her.
Lilly took Kitty’s hand and led her away from him. Avoiding eye contact with him, Emilia hurried after them. She didn’t trust herself not to snap at him. Lilly might be able to pretend she wasn’t upset, but Emilia had no such ability. If she had a brother who treated her the way Willard treated Kitty, she didn’t know what she’d do.
She’d probably go mad. Someone would have to commit her to an asylum. At least she’d never have to suffer that fate with Benjamin. Compared to Willard, Benjamin was a prince. And really, her father was to be commended for having enough sense to match her up with a gentleman who wasn’t anything like Willard.
Her attention went to the other people in the room, and she saw that Benjamin was still speaking with his uncle. Benjamin happened to look in her direction. Her cheeks grew warm, and for some reason, she couldn’t keep eye contact with him. What was going on with her?
You know exactly what’s going on.
Emilia pushed the thought away. She didn’t want to think tonight. All it was going to do was bring her headache back.
“Do you want to dance with Roger?” Lilly asked Kitty. “Other gentlemen will probably start asking you to dance once they see you with him.”
“I don’t think that’s wise,” Emilia told Lilly. “It’s best if an available gentleman is the first to ask.” She glanced toward the window, and sure enough, Willard was watching them.
“All right,” Lilly said. “I won’t go over to Roger.”
Kitty crossed her arms. “Willard makes me so angry. I wish he wasn’t my brother.”
“No one can blame you for that,” Lilly replied, “but glaring at everyone with your arms crossed isn’t going to attract any of the gentlemen toward you.”
Kitty relaxed and set her arms at her sides.
“You might find someone here this evening that you’ll like,” Emilia said, thinking that the thought might cheer her up.
Her friend didn’t look encouraged. She did, however, manage to secure a dance with a gentleman she knew wasn’t betrothed or married. He was, unfortunately, older than most. While age wasn’t something that deterred some ladies, she suspected Kitty didn’t care for the age difference since Emilia caught the way her friend’s nose wrinkled right after he asked her to dance.
Emilia was tempted to scan the room to see if Willard was finally satisfied, but then she decided she didn’t care. It was enough to know he had ruined the evening for Kitty. She didn’t think there was anything she or Lilly could do at this point to help their friend. Kitty was going to spend the evening dancing. If she took any breaks, they would have to be quick. There would be no going back to the window and talking.
Emilia hadn’t thought of it before, but a benefit of marriage was knowing she didn’t have to dance all evening. She wasn’t trying to get a husband. If she did dance, the gentlemen understood there would be nothing more that could come of it. And if she wanted to spend all evening by the window with Lilly, she could.
She hadn’t realized what a burden it’d been to stand around at a ball and hope that the right kind of gentleman would ask her to dance. She could never go up to any gentleman and ask him to dance. She always had to wait for him. And that had been part of the frustration of being on the market. It seemed like the gentlemen she was interested in never wanted to dance with her. She’d only been asked by those she hadn’t wanted to dance with, much like what poor Kitty had to deal with right now.
Now she could appreciate why Benjamin had been excited to come this evening. Being married took the pressure off of being at a ball.
She told herself not to look over at him again, but her body had a mind of its own. Roger and another gentleman had joined Benjamin and his uncle. The four seemed to be having a good conversation by the way Benjamin was smiling.
Emilia nudged Lilly in the arm. “Who is that with Roger?”
Lilly glanced over at them and grinned. “That’s Benjamin.”
Emilia rolled her eyes at her friend’s joke. “You know very well I wasn’t talking about Benjamin.” She squinted. After a moment, she realized it was Lord Steinbeck.
“I know you weren’t talking about Benjamin. I just like to see your face when I say his name.”
“Why? What’s so amusing about my face?”
“You blush whenever I mention him.”
“I do not.” Emilia touched her cheek. Surely, she didn’t. Did she?
Lilly chuckled. “Why don’t you put yourself out of your misery and accept that you want to be with him? It’s not a sin if you change your mind about him.”
“He might be all right for someone to talk to, but that doesn’t mean I love him.”
“What does love have to do with anything? Most people in London don’t marry for love.” Shooting Emilia a pointed look, she added, “But you are growing fond of him. I can see it.” When Emilia didn’t reply, she sighed. “I don’t know why you keep resisting your feelings. I never thought you were so stubborn. I suppose it’s to Benjamin’s benefit that he’s oblivious to all the ways you try to dissuade him from wanting to be with you. It’s allowing you time to fall in love with him.”
“I am not falling in love with him.” Why did her friend have to keep after her about this? “I know you love jewelry, but I didn’t think a blue diamond ring would make you so annoying. I ought to take the thing back because of all the grief you’re putting me through.”
“Grief I’m putting you through? You’re the one putting yourself through all this grief. I think you’re protesting the marriage as hard as you are because you resent the fact that it was arranged. You didn’t like the fact that you were forced into it.”
“That’s not true. I have no attraction for Benjamin. If my father had arranged for me to marry someone like Lord Reddington, I would have welcomed it.”
“Granted, part of your resistance stemmed from your lack of attraction to Benjamin, but I think the way he treats you more than makes up for it. Lord Reddington isn’t nearly as sweet as Benjamin is. Sure, he’s nice, but Benjamin’s the type of gentleman who will lay down his life just to make you happy. He’d give up everything for you. Gentlemen like that are hard to find.”
Emilia noticed two gentlemen coming their way and breathed a sigh of relief. She had no idea her friend could be so persistent.
She was more than happy to head off to the dance floor with the gentleman who picked her. She caught herself glancing over at Benjamin from time to time during the dance. At one point, she caught the way Lilly snickered at her. She rolled her eyes. In return, Lilly laughed. Turning her attention fully to her dance partner, Emilia endeavored to ignore her friend.
Chapter Eleven
“I don’t usually come to Lord Edon’s balls,” Lord Steinbeck said. “I only came here this evening because the Duke of Swendon i
s in attendance. I really wish he’d been voted into White’s. I don’t know why so many voted against him.”
Benjamin had chosen to stay out of the vote because His Grace had posed too much of a controversy. Some argued that he was incredibly dull and that being around him was only good if one wanted to go to sleep. Others argued that he had good business sense, so the fact that he was boring should be overlooked. In the end, Benjamin suspected Lord Edon’s comment that White’s was already dull and boring was what prompted most of the gentlemen to vote against His Grace’s inclusion.
“I wish so many gentlemen weren’t so eager to do everything Lord Edon wants,” Lord Steinbeck continued with his lamentation.
When Benjamin noticed the way his uncle’s eyebrows rose in curiosity, he explained, “People either love Lord Edon, or they hate him.”
“The sensible people hate him,” Lord Steinbeck said. “All he ever does is cause trouble. He delights in one scandal after another. I don’t understand the appeal of living like a rake.” After a moment, he added, “I’m just glad those two visitors he insisted on bringing to White’s a few weeks back didn’t cause any trouble.”
Benjamin thought he saw Roger give a slight grin as if he knew something about the visitors that Lord Steinbeck didn’t. No, that was impossible. Roger wasn’t the type to keep secrets.
Lord Steinbeck glanced between Benjamin and Roger. “Please tell me you’re only here because your wives wish to converse with their friends this evening. Don’t tell me you like Lord Edon.”
Benjamin thought Lord Edon was funny at times. Yes, he could be vulgar as he bragged about his dalliances, but he most definitely wasn’t boring. He debated whether to reply and risk upsetting Lord Steinbeck, but Roger spoke before he could decide what to do.
“Considering that Lady Cadwalader and her friends don’t like to come to Lord Edon’s balls, it’s safe for my wife to be here this evening,” Roger said.
“Your wife is a delightful lady,” Benjamin told Roger in surprise. “What could Lady Cadwalader possibly have against her?”
Roger’s eyes grew wide. “Tell me you’re jesting. Only someone who hasn’t been in London for a while would ask such a question.”
Nobody's Fool (Marriage by Design Book 2) Page 10