Renegade Hearts (Rebels of Sandland Book 1)

by Nikki J Summers

  “Do we know what Morgan Rotherham is yet?” I asked Zak, hooking onto a topic I knew would steer us away from my feelings for Emily. “Is it a company? A guy? What?”

  The account information Emily had photographed listed the main account holder as a Morgan Rotherham. There was no address. Nothing else that led us any further down that rabbit hole, but the names and numbers we had so far had put us further ahead than we’d ever been.

  “No idea. But like I said, I’ll find out.” Zak carried on tapping away at his keyboard and dismissing me in his roundabout way.

  We always knew Winters was a corrupt motherfucker. That’s why he’d always tried to take us down and dragged our names through the mud in the press. He hated us. Tried to villainise us in the tabloids. He was the master at deflecting, using us to steer the attention away from his own shit. He painted us as the thieves, but if we were right in our assumptions, he was the bloody king. Scamming the public on a fucking massive scale in comparison to anything we did. I knew his corruption ran further than the financial bullshit we were looking into now, though.

  As if he was reading my mind, Finn piped up. “Have you found anything out about Danny’s accident?”

  “No. And I’m not asking her about it. Not yet.” That one was non-negotiable.

  “Why the fuck not?” Brandon tossed the controller on the sofa next to him and gave me a stare. One that said he couldn’t believe what a weak-ass pussy I was being for not pushing her to talk about it.

  Brandon had the empathy of a wet mop, but I could read her like a book. She was still as raw as fuck, and she wasn’t ready to hear my little conspiracy theory. I knew what I’d seen though. I also knew what had been reported in the press was complete and utter bullshit. They said Danny had been driving. He hadn’t. When I saw him get into the car that crashed just minutes later, he’d been in the passenger seat. They said he was three times over the legal limit of alcohol and had drugs in his system. The guy spent the day with me and didn’t drink anything stronger than coffee and Diet Coke. He didn’t smoke, never had. And I know for a fact he didn’t do drugs. But no one was interested in hearing what I had to say. The last person to see him alive, apart from whoever was driving, and my story had fallen on deaf ears. They didn’t want to know. They’d basically pushed me aside during the inquest. My story wasn’t worthy, not to Alec Winters’ political career, anyway. He liked that he could campaign so honourably for something which had affected his family. His God complex was unstoppable after the accident. He certainly didn’t want my alternative narrative fucking things up for him at Westminster.

  I wouldn’t stay silent though.

  I needed answers and Danny deserved them. He’d been one of my best friends and I didn’t let my friends down. Ever.

  “Ask her if she saw the toxicology report, or better yet, get her to take a photo of it like she did with the account. We can find out who faked it then,” Zak suggested.

  “Or even better, Hardy can sneak around the house and find it himself after he’s fucked her into a coma… Oh… I forgot, you haven’t even kissed her yet, let alone tapped that ass.” Brandon was back to giving his asshole opinion yet again.

  “You haven’t kissed her yet? What were you doing last night after you dropped her home, swapping knitting patterns?”

  Not helpful Finn. I thought you were on my side.

  “Fuck you. You can’t talk. You clam up every time one of us so much as mentions Effy Spencer. And you…” I turned on Zak now. “Are you seeing Liv again? Or is it Kelly Hopton now? I can’t keep up.”

  “Don’t drag me into this. Liv knew the deal. I don’t do dating. I like to keep my options open.”

  “Great plan. I hope you wrap it up, otherwise the STD clinic will be dedicating a chair in their waiting room just for you,” I snapped and turned to face Brandon, but I just couldn’t be arsed anymore. “As for you. I have no idea what to say. I don’t even want to go there.”

  In his defence he didn’t sugar-coat shit, none of them did really.

  “I’m sampling the goods until I get the right girl. She’s out there waiting for me somewhere, baking cookies and shit until I come along.” Brandon smirked.

  “Yeah, you keep telling yourself that. There’s someone for everyone, right? And they do say opposites attract. So hopefully you’ll meet that good-looking, intelligent, honest, smart and cultured princess real soon.” I chuckled waiting to see what witty comeback he’d give me.

  “Maybe I already have.”

  “What was that?” I’d heard him, I just wanted him to say it again.

  “I said, here’s a little poem I wrote in my head, especially for you, bro. Roses are red, violets are blue, I’ve got five fingers, the middle one is for you.” He flipped me the bird and picked his controller up, going back into his game and blocking the rest of the world out.

  “With sweet words like that you’re bound to win her over.”

  “I take all my relationship tips from you, Ry. I mean, look at you now. You’re killing that boyfriend gig.”

  “Oh, I will be. Just watch and learn my friend. Watch and learn.”

  I knew I was right that Liv would take a few days to cool off. I’d sent her a text to try and smooth things over, even rang a few times, but all I got was her voicemail. She’d come round eventually. I’d sown the seeds. I just needed to be patient and wait.

  As for Chase, he was totally ignoring my calls. Probably because he knew what I was going to say. And my texts? They went unread. That guy was not ready to hear the truth. He was living in cloud cuckoo land as far as dating me was concerned. Between them and all my angst over Ryan, I was slowly going insane.

  That’s why I’d come into the back garden to do a bit of weeding. Tend to the plants and generally block out my life for a few hours. I had my air pods in and was singing along to Machine Gun Kelly, when something moved out of the corner of my eye and I turned, almost falling backwards onto the grass, ready to scream blue murder at the same time.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” I ripped the air pods out of my ears and stuffed them into the pocket of my jeans. Then I stood up, brushing the dirt off my hands and knees and scrunching my nose up at Ryan bloody Hardy, who stood mere feet away from me in my back garden. “How did you get in?” I knew he did some shady shit sometimes, but I hadn’t factored breaking and entering into my home to be one of them.

  “Your gate was open, and I heard you murdering one of my favourite songs, so I thought I’d better come in and save it.”

  “Such a hero, aren’t you?” I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

  “I try my best.” He was smirking like he had a secret and really wanted me to ask him about it. I wouldn’t. I liked making him work for it.

  “You’ve got balls coming in here.” I narrowed my eyes at him, but his grin only grew wider.

  “Yep, I’ve got balls. Big ones.”

  His eyes twinkled as he spoke, and I knew he was trying to make me feel uncomfortable… again. Turns out, he’d succeeded. Discussing Ryan’s balls or any other part of his anatomy was not something I was overly keen on doing. Not in front of him, anyway. Now in my room, where no one could see… Oh shit, Em. You need to stop that train of thought right now. You chose you, remember? I was starting to think my choices were really fucking lame.

  “You’d better leave before-”

  He cut me off. “Your dad’s not home. I know that for a fact.” He took a step towards me, his head resting to one side like he was gauging my reaction. Seeing if what he was doing was okay. “Anyway, I wanted to see you. Is that really such a bad thing?”

  “I don’t have anything else for you, if that’s what you’ve come for. I looked last night, but there’s nothing else on the Rotherham account. Not yet.” I spoke way too fast, feeling tense and all out of sorts.

  “Who said I came for that? Can’t I come round just to see you?”

  It was so easy to fool myself into thinking I wasn’t into Ryan Hardy w
hen he wasn’t stood in front of me, looking deliciously drop-dead gorgeous in black ripped skinny jeans, a tight black T-shirt, and a red and black checked shirt hung casually over the top. It was easy not to get caught up in him when he wasn’t looking right at me, with his hair falling into his eyes like it always did. I wondered what it’d be like to brush it out of the way and run my fingers through it. Would it feel as soft as it looked? And those eyes? Don’t get me started on his eyes. I must’ve been daydreaming about what running my fingers through Ryan’s hair and getting lost in his green eyes would lead to, because I didn’t see my mother until it was too late.

  “Who are you?” she snapped sharply, looking at Ryan like he was a slug that was invading her perfectly manicured lawn.

  “This is Ryan, Mum. He was a friend of Danny’s. He’s just stopped by to see how we’re all coping after, well… You know.”

  I’d jumped in before Ryan could answer and make things worse. I was already expecting a mini meltdown from my neurotic 2.0 version of my mother after the morning we’d had. Dad had left without saying goodbye to her, apparently. Which had then resulted in an hour long rant aimed at me and all my failings. Because that was the reason my dad had snuck out at the crack of dawn and headed off to Westminster for another five days of work. I was everything that was wrong in her world.

  It did the trick though. As soon as she heard me mention Danny’s name she visibly softened and looked at Ryan in a whole new light.

  “Ryan?” she said, making it sound more like a question than a statement. “Danny never mentioned you. Mind you, he was pretty private about his personal life in those last few months, wasn’t he, Em?”

  She’d reverted to calling me Em. She only ever did that when she was in company, trying to make it look like we were close.

  “I think Danny had a lot of things going on that we didn’t know about, Mum.” She scowled at the inflection in my voice when I said her name, then like the seasoned pro she was, she righted herself and gave Ryan the glowing million dollar smile she’d perfected over the years.

  “Ryan, would you like to come in for a cold drink? It’s awfully hot today.”

  It was twenty degrees and breezy. A nice day for the U.K., but it wasn’t the bloody tropics like she was making out. She obviously wanted an excuse to grill Ryan on all things Danny. I can’t say I blamed her though. I’d never asked Ryan about Danny myself. Maybe I should’ve. Thing was, I felt nervous talking about him to strangers. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to hold it all together. Danny was a sensitive subject for me. I missed him every second of every day, and I found blocking it all out was the best coping mechanism. Not great in the long term, but it worked for now.

  Mum beckoned Ryan forward, and he grinned back at her.

  “I’d love a cold drink, Mrs Winters. Thanks.”

  She nodded and sauntered off towards the open patio doors. Ryan glanced across at me and raised his eyebrow.

  “Should I be worried?” he asked.

  “Nope. As much as I love my mum, she’s about as self-absorbed as a bag of Pampers. As long as you keep talking about Danny, she’ll never see through your bullshit.”

  He threw his head back and laughed. God, I loved it when he did that.

  I led Ryan into our house, just as Mum was putting a tray of drinks down onto the coffee table. Most people would’ve handed out cans or at least asked what drink their guests wanted. Not my mum. She’d loaded up the tray with cut glass tumblers full of Coke with ice, like we were school kids. Oh, and a plate of cookies just to finish off the shitty tea party theme. I shouldn’t moan. At least she was trying to be civil.

  Ryan sat down on the sofa, man-spreading as he did, and making me feel all hot and bothered again, despite the air-conditioning my mother had cranked up to full effect. I think she was going through the change. Perhaps that was why she was more cranky than usual.

  She handed a glass to Ryan and then told him to help himself to the cookies. The way she sat forward, I could tell she was itching for information. Any titbit that Ryan could throw her way about Danny.

  “How long were you and Danny friends?” She’d started with the basics.

  Ryan chewed the last bit of his chocolate chip cookie and glanced at me before he spoke.

  “I knew Danny all through high school, but we became best mates in the last few years. He was a good guy. The best.”

  Mum nodded and smiled. She actually turned into a human whenever Danny was the topic of conversation, which wasn’t that often in our house these days. I missed that about my mum. I missed the softer side that she showed us when we were younger. She hadn’t always been the uptight trophy wife she was today. I don’t know what’d happened to change things, but she did used to take us to the park and play ball, teach us how to bake muffins and sit playing board games with us, pretending not to notice when we cheated. I don’t know why it all went to shit, but it did.

  “Tell me some stories about him. I want to know what he was like when he wasn’t at home with us.” Mum sipped the tea in her china cup and then placed it carefully back on the saucer. She never used mugs for her hot drinks. She thought herself too well-bred for that.

  Ryan rubbed his chin and then sat back on the sofa. “Danny was a cool guy. He made us laugh.”

  Mum smiled and shook her head. “I can only imagine what he got up to behind my back.” Fondness clouded her eyes and I could tell any story she heard about him, no matter how gross or cringe-worthy, would’ve only made her love him more.

  “One time, we bubble wrapped Mr. Manderson’s whole classroom; chair, desk, computer, the lot. We even did his car too. It was all Danny’s idea. Took Manderson hours to cut it all off.”

  “Oh my God, did you get caught?” Mum gasped, and I raised my eyebrows at her. If I’d told that story she’d have grounded me for the summer and banned my hellraising friends from coming near the house.

  “No.” Ryan smiled. “The balloons we filled his store cupboard with were the straw that broke the camel’s back though. How were we to know he had a fear of balloons? He was traumatised for days.”

  Mum laughed a proper, full belly laugh and I couldn’t help but chuckle too. Danny loved a prank.

  “Were the coins glued all over the cafeteria floor your handy work too?” I asked, feeling less on edge with the way this conversation was going. I loved hearing about Danny.

  Ryan huffed out a low laugh. “Yep. Me and Danny spent hours gluing those fu… Things down all over the place.” He corrected himself, shooting a look my mother’s way. “Watching people trying to pick them up kept us amused for ages.”

  “You like your games, don’t you, Ryan?” I said, making sure he knew the meaning behind my statement.

  That easy going persona he’d slipped into faded and I felt his guard go up. “The flare set off during the leaver’s assembly was nothing to do with us though. That was all on Brandon,” Ryan said through gritted teeth, throwing my pointed stare straight back at me.

  I’d heard about the legendary flare incident. A hall full of year-elevens and their parents, mine included, listening to the head teacher tell everyone what a stellar year they’d all had, and some dickhead set off a flare, covering everyone and everything in a cloud of purple shit, ruining the whole afternoon. The smoke alarms went off and we all had to evacuate the school. The police were called, but there was no CCTV in that part of the building, so no one was ever held accountable for shitting all over everyone else’s day. It wasn’t like the Renaissance men would ever rat out one of their own. Typical Brandon, act first think later. He was a bloody liability even back then.

  “I remember that. It was awful. Your father never did get the stains out of his suit.” Mum scoffed and then her expression mellowed. “Ryan, would you like to see Danny’s room?”

  I almost choked on my Diet Coke. What the hell was she thinking, inviting someone else into Danny’s bedroom? I went in there most days to sit on the windowsill and think about him, but to everyone el
se that room had always been off limits. Mum wouldn’t even let the cleaners in there. We dusted it ourselves. Not that it needed dusting. It was immaculate. We kept it like a shrine to him. Not a thing had changed in that room since the day he left us.

  “I’d be honoured,” Ryan answered taking me totally by surprise.

  Mum stood up and walked out to the hallway and I followed behind Ryan.

  “This is really kind of you, Mrs Winters. I’ve missed seeing him, as a friend. It’d be nice to feel close to him again.” Ryan was saying all the right words, but I wasn’t sure how honest they were. Did he really want to connect with Danny? Was this all a ruse to get to me? Or was I totally overthinking a nice gesture from my brother’s friend? Probably the latter. I wasn’t great at reading people at the best of times.

  “We haven’t changed anything. We’ve even left the can of Coke on the bedside table that he was drinking before he went out that day.” Mum was right. We couldn’t even bring ourselves to get rid of a damn can. It was empty of course. A bit like our family home since he’d gone.

  “It was his favourite drink,” Ryan added, and my heart skipped.

  Yes, it was.

  Maybe Ryan knew him better than I’d realised? Danny drank Coke like most people drink water, even when he went out for the night. It was why we’d all been so shocked to find out he’d been drunk-driving when he had the accident. Danny didn’t usually touch alcohol. It wasn’t his style. Well, we thought it wasn’t. But what did we know?

  Ryan picked up a picture frame from Danny’s desk, a photograph of the four of us; Mum and Dad at the back, and Danny and me standing in front of them. Dad had his arms wrapped around my shoulders and Mum was hugging Danny from behind. Ryan smiled and tilted the photo our way and I heard the sob catch in my mother’s throat.

  “I’m sorry. I can’t do this,” she cried, covering her mouth and running out of the room. I suppose she’d made progress. Usually, she could only stand at the doorway before she fled. At least today she’d stepped over the threshold.