Once Upon a Bad Boy--A Sometimes in Love Novel

by Melonie Johnson

  “Sure.” He yawned, head bobbing, and gave her a drowsy smile. An arrow shot straight through Sadie. She forced herself to smile back, then shifted her gaze to the coloring book, focusing on letting the smooth repetitive strokes soothe her.

  The sharp, sudden pain that happened like this sometimes always confounded her. Sadie could never predict what would set it off: a toothy baby grin, or a mom on a train, quietly whispering in her child’s ear as they looked out the window, shared excitement in their eyes, watching the world go by. It didn’t happen often. But when it did, it stopped her cold. A barb that pierced through the deepest part of her. The initial sting passed quickly, but the pain would linger, like a poison. Sadie had experienced this feeling before, at other moments in her life too, long before the summer that shall not be named. She called it the what-if feeling. Or sometimes, the if-only feeling.

  At least, with Toby, she understood the trigger. He was Bo’s flesh and blood. Sadie looked up from the page she’d been coloring. Toby was already out cold, head thrown back, mouth wide open like a little fish. She smiled at the tender picture.

  Then turned to find Bo watching her.

  Sadie dropped her gaze. She’d still been disoriented when he’d brought her the message about her grandmother. But she’d heard what he said to Meg. About dealing with the Tanya business later.

  It had been a reprieve.

  Time and space for her to deal with what was happening with her grandmother.

  But after that … Sadie knew it would be time to deal with him.

  * * *

  Nana always said things looked better in the morning, and maybe she was right. Sadie’s appearance, however, was not one of them. After a long night spent catnapping on two chairs shoved together to form an impromptu bed, Sadie was ready to hunt down a cup of coffee that actually tasted like coffee and scrounge up a toothbrush. By the time she’d found one and had used the other, a nurse came by with good news. Nana had been settled into a room and could receive visitors.

  Things really did look better in the morning.

  Sadie gathered up her things and cleaned out the little nest she’d made to sleep in. Last night, after she’d learned her grandmother would indeed be having emergency hip surgery as Mrs. Ibarra predicted, Sadie had only been given a moment to see Nana before they wheeled her off to prep. Afterward, Sadie had thanked Bo and his family for coming and encouraged them to head home, but they wouldn’t hear of it.

  Mrs. Ibarra insisted they wait until Sadie’s grandmother was out of surgery before leaving. It was nearing midnight when news finally came that the procedure had gone well, and Nana was moving to recovery. Giddy with relief, Sadie had watched Bo gather up his nephew from Luna’s arms and carry him out to the car. The sight of Toby’s chubby cheek pressed against Bo’s broad shoulder, golden curls bobbing down the hall, wrecked her.

  Sadie stepped quietly into her nana’s hospital room. It was a good size with a wall of windows looking out over a garden. She smiled. Nana would be happy about the view. Shuffling quietly to the bed, Sadie checked on her grandmother. Wrapped in one of those bedsheets turned into robe things hospitals made everyone suffer in, Nana looked small, childlike, save for the shock of white hair.

  Smoothing a hand over Nana’s cheek, Sadie was relieved to note it was warm to the touch, but not hot. Bo’s mother had said post-op infection was one of the things to watch out for.

  Drained, her tank completely on empty, Sadie collapsed into the lounge chair set up next to the bed, not sure which truck of emotional trauma had run over her the hardest: relief that her nana was okay after all the hours of worry, anger and angst about the Tanya situation, or fear and resignation for the Bo situation. And then, of course, was the emotional grab bag otherwise known as a panic attack. Fun times.

  There was a lot she needed to deal with, but right now, she needed to be here. Popping the lever on the chair and easing back, Sadie relished the opportunity to lie down and catch a few more minutes of sleep. Lulled by the sweet sound of her nana’s gentle snoring, Sadie drifted off, dreaming of her old dog Flynn.

  * * *

  Sometime later, Sadie awoke, knowing even before her eyes were open that her mother had finally arrived at the hospital. There was a distinct weight and pressure to the intensity of Maureen Goldovitz’s stare. Once you felt it, you never forgot it.

  Sadie sat up and turned to face her mother. As always, she had to fight the urge to straighten her spine and suck her stomach in. The instinct was bone deep—deeper—it was embedded in her cells. Her very DNA. Her mother had been telling Sadie to stand up straight and look pretty all her life. Like she was something to be displayed on a shelf.

  Shoulders back, tummy in, smile on.

  “Mercedes,” her mother said.

  That was it. No, “Good Morning.” No, “How are you?” And definitely no, “It’s nice to see you.”

  “Mother.”

  “I see your hair has yet to recover.”

  It took all of Sadie’s willpower not to run a self-conscious hand over her short spikes. Now that filming was done, she’d been looking forward to growing it out again, but her mother’s comment made her want to find the scissors and start chopping.

  Instead, she bit the inside of her cheek and smiled, a trick she’d learned years ago. “Well then, it’s a good thing you’re here to see to your mother’s health and not your daughter’s hair.” Or your daughter.

  Nana stirred on the bed.

  “Nana?” Sadie stood, brushing a hand over her grandmother’s cheek. “Are you awake?”

  Nana shifted under the pile of blankets, hospital white on hospital white, and raised the bed to an incline position. “I am now.”

  “It’s nice to see you up.” Sadie shifted the pillows around gingerly, helping her grandmother get situated. Thanks to their routine of the last two months, she knew how Nana liked things. It felt good to be able to help take care of her. “Can I get you anything?”

  “Some tea would be nice, doll.”

  “You got it.” Sadie headed for the door, but stopped, asking over her shoulder, “Anything for you, Mother?”

  “From the hospital?” Her mother shuddered.

  Wondering why she even bothered, Sadie left the room. Her mother’s voice carried easily behind her.

  “I’m worried about her.”

  Sadie paused, heart flickering with a spark of hope that never quite went out.

  “Do you think her arms look bulky? They seem bulky to me. Goodness, combine it with that haircut of hers and…”

  Before she could hear any more, Sadie hurried down the hall to the little self-service beverage station. As she reached for a cup to pour the hot water in, she inspected the toned line from elbow to shoulder.

  Don’t let her get in your head, Sadie reminded herself. She popped a teabag into the cup and grabbed a lid. So what if her arms were bulky? She’d worked her ass off for that bulk. She liked that bulk. Training for this film had taught Sadie to appreciate what her body could do. For the first time, her appearance didn’t seem quite so important. Sadie headed back to her nana’s room. Holding the steaming cup out in front of her, she admired the dip and swell of muscle sweeping up the curve of her arm.

  As she approached the door, she heard the icy clipped tones of her mother’s voice rising in volume. Sadie hesitated. Whatever was going on, it couldn’t be good. Her mother did a lot of unpleasant things, but yelling, especially in public, was not one of them. Nana must really be pissing her off.

  Not feeling even a smidge of guilt for snooping, Sadie moved to the wall, stopping just outside the door.

  “You can’t be serious, Mother.”

  “Do I look like I’m joking?” Nana said with her usual tart spunk. “My mind is made up.”

  “Surely you want to wait until you are home to worry about any of this; we can talk again after you recover and are feeling better.”

  “No. I want this done now. The sooner the better. Your husband can make th
e arrangements to have our lawyers come here.”

  Lawyers? Sadie bit her lip. What was Nana up to?

  “And if I get the slightest impression he’s dragging his feet, I’ll hire someone else. I may have a busted hip, but these wrinkly old fingers can dial a phone number just fine.”

  Go, Nana. Sadie didn’t know what her nana was planning, but if it irritated her mother this much, she was sure it was something she was going to like. She breezed through the door, all clueless smiles. “Here we go, some hot tea for you.” She set the tea on the rolling tray by her grandmother’s bed.

  Her mother took a step back, as if she feared being contaminated by the steam rising from the cup. “Well, if you insist on pursuing this mad course of action…”

  “I do.”

  Mom notched her chin up, and Sadie wondered if her mother had another tuck done recently. “Then I have nothing more to say on the matter.”

  Nana snorted. “I doubt that. But hope springs eternal.”

  “I suppose you’re pleased with yourself, Mercedes.”

  “Yep. Whatever Nana wants.” Still unsure of what her grandmother had done or how she herself might be involved, Sadie decided if it was enough to get this much of a rise out of her mother, then she was pleased as punch. She bit her cheek and smiled.

  Her mother spun on her Italian heel and with a puff of designer fragrance, was gone.

  Once the clicking of Maureen Goldovitz’s shoes had faded down the hall, Sadie drilled her grandmother. “Nana, what are you up to?”

  “You were listening at the door, you tell me.”

  Sadie grinned. “All I know is you want Daddy to bring the family lawyers to the hospital.”

  “Oh, you missed the good stuff, then.” Nana’s grin was delightfully mischievous.

  “I’m listening.”

  “I’m tired, doll face.”

  A prickle of concern pinched her brow. Nana was just so Nana, Sadie almost forgot her grandmother had major surgery mere hours ago. “We can talk later if you need to rest.”

  “No, no. I’m tired of the way things are. This fall jarred more than my bones.” Nana took a sip of tea. “I’ve decided to move.”

  “Move? Where?”

  “One of those retirement places. You know, little old-people condos.”

  “I was thinking about that recently,” Sadie admitted. “It would be nice if you had some more company.”

  “I also want to turn the estate over to you.”

  “Wait.” Sadie jerked. “What?”

  “Your poppa wanted you to have that land. And we both know if it passes to your mother first, it will never make it to you. She’d have sold it and spent the earnings before the grass started growing on my grave.”

  So, that’s what had pissed her mother off. Sadie couldn’t argue with Nana’s reasoning in that regard, but she did have other reservations. “But I wouldn’t have the first clue how to run the estate!”

  “Pish, we have so many foreman and managers, the place basically runs itself. There’s a good team in place. Good people who will help you make good decisions. And you can always hire others, if you want.”

  Sadie paused, feeling guilty and selfish but knowing she had to be honest with her grandmother. “Running Murphy Farms isn’t what I want to do. Hopefully my career as an actress takes off, and when it does, I’ll likely be living all over the place, shooting on location.”

  “Then you have a place to come home to.”

  “Would that work?”

  “Why not?”

  Sadie didn’t have an answer for that. It was worth a try, at least. And she did love the estate. Had so many wonderful memories there. More than anywhere else, it was her home. “Okay.” She smiled at her nana. “I’m in.”

  “That was easy.” Nana grinned, the smile curving slyly as she added, “I do have a few caveats.”

  “Oh? Waiting to share details until after I agree to the deal? Pretty slick, Nana.”

  “You’ll be happy with these terms,” her grandmother promised. “I want to give the carriage house to the Ibarra family. Permanently. I plan to put the deed in Luna’s name, so she and Toby never have to worry about moving.”

  “That’s a wonderful idea,” Sadie agreed, her heart getting all warm and fuzzy. “That will make Bo very happy too. I know he’s worried about his sister’s future once their parents are gone.”

  Thinking about Bo and the future, Sadie’s mood suddenly took a nosedive as she recalled everything else that had happened yesterday. The war room. Tanya’s threats. The file. Sadie hadn’t opened the file, but she knew exactly what story Tanya was holding over their heads. She’d like to think it wouldn’t have been possible for that weasel to ferret out such incredibly private information, but Sadie knew how horrifyingly easy it was to get access to a person’s entire life with just a few clicks.

  “Have you finally decided to tell him, then?” Nana asked.

  Sadie nodded, everything twisting into knots inside her. “He’s going to hate me.”

  “Shh, doll. He won’t hate you.”

  “He will hate what I did, then. The choice I made … without him. Without telling him.”

  “It was your choice to make,” Nana said firmly. She held out the hand not hooked up to monitors and IVs.

  Sadie took her nana’s hand, squeezing tight. Her grandmother had been through so much yesterday, and yet, here she was, helping Sadie. “You’re pretty amazing, Nana.”

  “I know.” Nana winked, but then her expression turned serious. “You’re worried he won’t be able to accept what you did. But the important thing to ask yourself is do you accept it?”

  “Yes.” Without hesitation, Sadie nodded. “I’ve thought about this a lot, Nana. A long time ago, I accepted the choice I made was the right one for me at the time.”

  “Then that’s all there is to it,” Nana said, patting her hand.

  Sadie gave her a weak smile. If only it were that easy.

  * * *

  After making sure Nana had everything she’d needed, Sadie let her get some rest and headed for the parking lot. Last night, after carrying Toby to the car, Bo had come back to the waiting room and handed Sadie the keys to his SUV. He would drive his family home in his mother’s car, and when she was ready to leave the hospital, Sadie could drive his car over to the carriage house.

  Which meant, unless she decided to be the ultimate chicken and ditch Bo’s car and find another way home, Sadie would be seeing him today. She wasn’t going to be a coward. It was time to have the talk they should have had more than ten years ago. It was time to haul that box out of the pit where it had been festering and clean up the mess.

  On the drive from the hospital to Murphy Farms, Sadie decided she’d clean up another mess too. Tanya. That decision had been surprisingly easy. It helped that the idea of giving the traitor any kind of a break infuriated Sadie.

  If she wanted to be able to go to Bo and tell him what she’d done and not be ashamed, then Sadie had to be ready to prove the same thing to the world.

  Was it anybody’s damn business? No. But acting like her choice was something to hide wasn’t right either. Besides, if Tanya had managed to dig up Sadie’s secret, it was only a matter of time before somebody else did.

  At least this way Sadie could get ahead of it, control how the story came out. And she already had a few ideas of how she wanted that to happen. But first, it was time to talk to Bo.

  Before going to the carriage house, Sadie decided she’d stop at her grandmother’s to shower and change. She’d been in the same clothes for more than twenty-four hours. Then, over a quick snack, she updated Angie on Nana’s condition.

  Finally, out of excuses, Sadie drove to Bo’s.

  * * *

  Walking slowly down the stable aisle next to Sadie, Bo fought to keep his mouth shut and his patience intact. Ever since that bizarre conversation with Meg in the war room, he’d been unable to stop wondering, stop worrying. What the hell did Tanya dig up on Sa
die? On them?

  Meg had said it had to do with him, so how could be not know about it?

  Sadie’s panic attack had scared the shit out of him, and the stuff with her grandmother had been stressful too. Once he’d come home, and everyone else had headed to bed, Bo had sat up, unable to sleep. Wracking his brain as he worked his way through a bottle of Jack. Eventually, he’d crashed on the couch. Too wiped and too wasted to make it up the stairs.

  In the morning, Bo’s body reminded him, very unpleasantly, that he didn’t drink to excess often. He liked to stay in control. Until last night, the shots of vodka he’d done with Sadie had been the most he’d drunk at once in years.

  Hours later, the residual pounding in his skull was a reminder of all the time he’d spent torturing himself last night. He wished Sadie would just tell him. He didn’t want to have to ask, but at this point he was getting ready to beg.

  Reaching the end of the aisle, they stopped at Stella’s stall. Bo dug in his pocket and pulled out some sugar cubes. He handed one to Sadie. “You can give her this, but you have to keep it a secret. My mom doesn’t like the old girl to have any sugar.”

  “Okay.” Sadie’s smile was shy. She held the cube out to the mare, smile growing as Stella ate the sugar.

  Bo smiled too. It was impossible not to feel happy while a horse licked your palm.

  “Speaking of secrets,” Sadie began, her gaze fixed on Stella as she stroked the mare’s muzzle, “I need to talk to you about Tanya’s file.”

  Finally. Bo held himself in check, not saying anything, waiting for her to continue.

  In the silence, Bo’s thoughts raced, mixing with the pounding of his skull as he tried to figure out what piece of their past—what scandalous piece—she knew and he didn’t.

  “That first summer, the one after … after we broke up,” she began, her attention still on Stella, voice small and quiet. “I found out something had happened.”