The Panther

by Ezra Dawn

  Nodding I say, “I understand. Thank you for sharing that with me. I hope you’ll tell me about how you got them sometime.”

  “Sure, I will, any time. All you have to do is ask. We can even talk about it before or after we watch the movie.”

  “Sounds good. Help me stand up, I’d like to go take a shower and get dressed before we watch a movie. I know you said you’ve been giving me sponge baths, but it’s been a very long time since I was able to enjoy a hot shower and I’d like to take one. It’ll help me feel clean.”

  Kuro takes my hands and I slowly stand up. I wobble for a moment, but Kuro keeps me steady, and holding onto him like a lifeline, I manage to take the few shaky steps needed to get to the dresser where the clothes are. Picking out a pair of shorts, underwear, socks, and a t-shirt, I let Kuro grab the toiletries for me and lead me out of the room to the bathroom across the hall. Once inside, Kuro turns to me and says, “Are you sure you’ll be alright on your own?”

  Placing my clothes on the sink, I say, “I’ll be fine. I think I’ve got the hang of it now, but if I need help, I promise to yell.”

  “Okay. I’ll leave you to it then.”

  Kuro looks unsure for a moment before a determined expression crosses his face and he presses a soft kiss to my forehead. “I’ll be downstairs. If you need help walking down afterwards just call for me.”

  Blushing, I say, “I will,” and watch him leave. Once he’s gone, I put my shampoo, soap, and conditioner in the shower, leaving the other items on the sink and turn on the water. While I wait for it to heat, I take off the hospital gown and drop it into the hamper. I’d throw it into the trash but I’m not sure if the doctor needs it back or not.

  Stepping into the shower, I sigh happily when I feel the warm water cascade over me. It’s been so long… I could stay in here forever. But that would mean losing time to spend with Kuro, and I’m not about to let that happen. Not when I’ve already lost years. Feeling myself sway a bit, my knees start to shake and a wave of dizziness hits as I’m rinsing soap from my hair, I decide to hurry this along because I don’t want to fall over.

  Pouring some popcorn kernels into my microwavable popcorn popper I set it aside for when Benji comes down. Walking into the living room, I open my DVD cabinet and pull out all the Star Wars movies I have, stacking them in order on the coffee table. I put the first one into the player so, all I have to do is hit play when we’re ready. Then, I return to the kitchen and grab us a few drinks while keeping an ear out for Benji, in case he needs my help. Grinning to myself, I think about the chaste kiss I gave him and the adorable surprised look on his face.

  Showing affection is not something I’m used to, but after years of pain and torture, Benji deserves happiness, affection, and love. Who better to give him those things than his mate? It’s amazing how letting go of past hurts and forgiving someone can change a person’s outlook. I feel a lot lighter now. Though I know, I’ll probably never be the same exact person I was when I was younger, I think I’ve taken the first steps in getting some of myself back as well as building a more meaningful relationship with Benji that goes beyond being friends.

  Hearing a thud come from upstairs, I leave the drinks on the counter and race up there thinking Benji must’ve fallen. Knocking on the bathroom door, I say, “Benji, are you alright?”

  “I’m fine, I just knocked over the bottle of conditioner when I stepped out of the shower. Don’t go anywhere, I’m going to need your help to get downstairs. I’m feeling a little weak in the knees.”

  Grinning, I say, “I have that effect on people.”

  Benji snorts a laugh and says, “I see your sarcasm hasn’t changed a bit.”

  “Not in the slightest. It’s part of my charm.”

  A few minutes later, the bathroom door opens and Benji says, “Thank you for waiting for me.”

  “No problem. I’d never forgive myself if I left you to do it yourself and you fell down the stairs and broke your neck.”

  Benji raises an eyebrow at me and says, “Are you always this blunt?”

  Shrugging I say, “Usually. I find being brutally honest instead of sugarcoating the truth is the best course of action. It might piss people off but, at least they know what they’re dealing with. Besides, why waste time beating around the bush when it’s easier to just come out and say it? I’m usually gentler about things when it comes to children but, I don’t deal with them often.”

  Holding out my arm to Benji, I wait for him to loop his arm through mine then lead him towards the stairs, taking slow steps in case he stumbles. As we make our way down the stairs, Benji says, “So, how’s your art doing? Have you sold any pieces lately? I remember that was your dream when we were younger.”

  Shaking my head, I say, “No. I haven’t created anything in years. I lost the passion for it when I lost myself. And before you apologize, don’t. It’s the past. Maybe I’ll get some of the passion I had for art back, maybe I won’t, only time will tell.”

  “So, if you don’t sell art, what do you do for a living?”

  “I kill people.”

  He looks at me with wide eyes. “You’re joking right?”

  “Nope. After I left home, I became an enforcer for the shifter council and worked that job for a few years until I was recruited by the paranormal council for fixer training. There was one case they sent me on where I was assigned to eliminate one individual but there were three culprits and because I couldn’t disobey my orders, the other two got away. I took care of the one I was assigned to and returned to council headquarters then later received word that the two who remained free at the time slaughtered the victims who reported the abuse then disappeared.”

  When we reach the bottom of the stairs, I lead him toward the couch. “What happened when you found out about it?”

  “I completely lost it. Went before the council and ripped them a new one, then I made them an offer they couldn’t refuse.”

  “What offer?”

  “I take the jobs they’re unable to do because they’re bound by their laws or there’s a lack of evidence even though it’s obvious the culprit is guilty and other jobs victims hire me for. I pay the council ten percent of my fee for jobs they don’t assign, hand over any information on the target I’d gathered, and they look the other way; pretend I don’t exist and neither do my actions. Though if I wasn’t doing the things a fixer does only outside the laws of the council and was instead killing random people for the hell of it, they would arrest me in a heartbeat.”

  As soon as he’s seated, I return to the kitchen to get our drinks and pop the popcorn. Once that’s done, I carry everything into the living room, placing it all on the coffee table before taking a seat beside Benji who says, “So, is your job the reason you learned to mask your scent?”

  “Yes. It’s something that protects me from any backlash that could pop up. I could easily come across someone that the target knew and if my scent gets recognized it’s game over. It also protects anyone I’m associated with from being caught in the crossfire or being used as leverage to get at me. I also trained in the ability to glamour myself so my outward appearance to others is different. Keeps me from being identified if someone were to describe me to an enemy.”

  With a curious expression on his face he asks, “So, how do people find you for a job?”

  Grinning, I say, “I have a business card. I anonymously send boxes of them to shelters for victims of abuse all over the world and also leave some behind for other victims after I’ve done my job. They pass them on to friends or family or anyone who shows signs of abuse and it goes from there.”

  “And what about your fee?”

  “I charge only what they can afford. Rich clients can usually afford more, same with paranormals, but humans who’ve worked low income jobs usually can’t afford as much. But I have to be careful and instruct them on how to take out the money because if the authorities were to investigate the death it would look suspicious if a large sum of money was withd
rawn before the target’s death. I also accept gifts that are worth the full amount because sometimes simply saying you sold the item is an easier explanation than having to nail down a plausible story for where the money went. You should see the collection of cars and art pieces I have in a warehouse near here.”

  He grins and says, “I look forward to it. One more question, if the council doesn’t pay you for the jobs they assign, who does?”

  “No one.”

  “Then how do you get paid for those?”

  Grinning I say, “I steal from the target. Criminals always have the best stuff. Usually, I take cash, but if I find something that was stolen before, like a rare painting, I take it and anonymously tip off the authorities to the location so, it goes back to where it belongs.”

  “So, you’re a hitman and a thief. That’s interesting. I’ll have to interrogate you about your job more later while you teach me how to use the appliances.”

  Winking at him I say, “Let’s start with the television then.” Holding up the remote I say, “This is the remote. It controls everything about the television. You have your power button, the volume and channel buttons, a DVR button, voice button, guide button that tells you what’s showing, the info button lets you see a summary of the show you’re watching, and the recall button is for going back to the previous channel you were on. There’s also a voice option where you can ask it to find a show or movie.”

  As I talk, I point out each button, so he understands what’s what, then I continue with my explanation. “The black box under the television is what’s called a DVR, it lets me record programs to watch later and stores them eliminating the need for tapes. The smaller black box to the left of that, is what’s called a DVD player. It’s the improved version of the VCR. Instead of movies being on large bulky tapes that need to be rewound after watching, they’re on discs that always start at the beginning no matter how many times you watch it. Except for Blu-Ray discs, those can be started from the spot you left off at. Blu-ray is a type of DVD that has a higher resolution than normal DVD’s and can also hold more information on one disc than a normal DVD. For example, while one DVD can hold one Lord of the Rings movie, which is four hours long, a Blu-Ray disc can hold all three if it’s double sided.”

  “Lord of the Rings? Is that like the books?”

  Nodding I say, “It’s a fantasy movie based off the books. There’re six movies in total though they were done in reverse order of the books. Instead of making The Hobbit into a movie first, they made Lord of the Rings and did The Hobbit afterwards as a prequel. I have those on DVD too, if you want to watch them. I remember the books being your favorite.”

  He grins and says, “I’d like that. Let’s get through Star Wars first though.”

  “Sure thing.”

  Picking up the DVD remote, I press play and grab the bowl of popcorn. Damn… I probably shouldn’t have made popcorn. I’m not sure Benji can even eat it right now. It wasn’t on the list the doc gave me. I’ll have to limit how much he eats of it, so he doesn’t get sick. I’d feel terrible about it if I didn’t. Putting an arm around his shoulders, I lean back against the cushions and settle in for a movie marathon. Just like old times… we used to do this very thing when we were kids. It stirs up feelings I buried a long time ago; feelings I’m ready to embrace wholeheartedly so, we can both finally be happy like we deserve. It feels good being able to remember those times we shared when we were younger without the slice of pain in my heart. Letting go of the hurt from the past is the best decision I ever made. I can’t wait to make new memories with him.

  After spending the rest of the evening and most of the night watching movies with Kuro, I feel like we’ve gained something back that was lost when I hurt him. We finally dragged ourselves to bed around one o clock this morning -separate beds of course, although I longed to be near him, even if it was doing nothing but sleep in the same bed. But he’s not quite ready for that- and now, I’m wide awake only three hours later after having a nightmare about the lab. I relived the memory of the first experiment they ever put me through where they decided to see how being shocked with enough electricity to kill a human would affect me and my animal. It hurt like hell, and pretty much fried my insides.

  I should’ve died, but they injected me with some kind of serum that boosted my ability to heal so, I was fine in a day. Then they upped the voltage and tried again, and again, until they realized the result wasn’t what they were looking for. The only thing it did was piss off my animal half, stop my heart, and make me forget some things temporarily. That was only the beginning of a long line of awful experiments. Though I suppose I was lucky to escape with all my limbs and my life intact. Can’t say the same for over half the paranormals who came and went throughout the years.

  I bet their families are still wondering what happened to them. Maybe I should ask Kuro if any of the records they found included information on those who died. Their families deserve closure, but I don’t think they should be told about how their loved ones died. They don’t need to know how the people they loved suffered, only that they’re at peace now.

  Knowing I won’t get back to sleep anytime soon, I turn on the lamp by the bed and pick up the remote. Thanks to Kuro’s explanation I know how to use it. Just from the brief description he gave me about the TV and movies, I know I have a lot to learn. The prospect is daunting but with Kuro helping me, I’m confident I can manage.

  Flipping through the channels, I find a late-night cooking show and lean back against the pillows to watch as a man with blond hair and an accent shouts at a chef about their chicken being fucking raw. Watching TV isn’t what I really want to do, but I don’t think Kuro would appreciate me climbing into bed with him because I had a bad dream. Even though I desperately want to in hopes his scent will chase away my demons I have to respect his boundaries. We might be mates but I hurt him deeply and despite the fact he’s forgiven me, it’ll still take some time for him to trust me enough to want to share his bed and his life with me and maybe one day, love me enough to claim me as his. We made progress already but, I still feel like we have a long way to go.

  Suddenly feeling restless I turn off the TV and climb out of bed, thinking a walk might do me some good. I’d love to shift and run, but I don’t know this territory and while I know my scent will lead me back to the house if I go too far, I don’t want to risk being attacked by wolves on patrol. It might not happen since I’m sure the alpha has made his people aware of the rescued paranormals and that there might be unfamiliar scents in the territory. But I’d rather be cautious and stick to walking a few laps around the house, or maybe a little ways into the woods before turning around and coming back to avoid any patrols and make sure I don’t have to go too far if I fall and injure myself. I’m still a little unsteady on my feet, but I managed to walk up the stairs on my own when I went to bed so, I think I can manage a short walk as well. Kuro didn’t give me any shoes so, I’ll have to go barefoot, but that’s okay. I’ve done so many times before.

  Pulling on a pair of sweatpants over my shorts in case the night air is a little chilly, I exit my room and make my way down the stairs. It’s dark in the house but thankfully, with my overly heightened senses I can see clearly as if it were broad daylight. Walking through the kitchen to the back door I freeze in my tracks when it opens and Kuro walks in wearing only a pair of sweatpants. When he sees me, he says, “Benji? What are you doing up? I thought you were sleeping.”

  Raising an eyebrow at him, I say, “I could say the same to you.”

  He shrugs. “I couldn’t sleep so I went for a run.”

  Chuckling, I say, “I had a nightmare and was going to go for a walk to tire myself out so, I could go back to sleep. Seems we had a similar idea.”

  He crosses over to me and pulls me into a hug. “Was it about the lab?”

  Resting my head against his chest, I nod. “About the first experiment they ever did on me.”

  “Want to talk about it?”

&
nbsp; Sighing, I say, “Only if you continue to hold me like this. Your scent is comforting.”

  His grip on me tightens for a moment before he steps back. Feeling disappointed, I make a move to go around him so, I can leave but am stopped when he grabs my hand and wordlessly pulls me towards the stairs. Instead of pulling my hand free, I let him lead me up the stairs. We pass by my room and go to the end of the hall where he opens a door and tugs me inside. Immediately, I’m enveloped by his scent and take a moment to savor it. Kuro closes the door behind us and walks over to the bed that dominates the space. Realizing he’s brought me to his room, I take a quick look around, noticing the walls are painted a dark grey, the carpet is black and luxuriously soft, the furniture is a dark cherry, there’s a TV mounted to the wall and what looks to be two doors that lead to a bathroom and a closet respectively.

  Kuro climbs into the bed that’s adorned with black sheets and a matching duvet -he really likes the color black- and pats the space beside him. “Come here.”