by T. A. White
"Do you remember what it's like to be young?" Kira peered at the ocean far below and the lights that glittered and swirled under its waves.
"A little," Graydon said, allowing the shift in topic. "My parents were often busy, but I remember the games my father played with me and the way my mother laughed at the two of us."
"I don't remember ever feeling young," Kira confessed. "My childhood was pain and rage. The closest I came to joy was during the height of the war with the rest of the Curs."
They'd steadied her. For the first time, she'd felt like she belonged somewhere. She'd been good at something. There had been difficulties, sure, but it had felt worth it.
She missed that sense of purpose, even as she knew there was no returning to those days.
"Do you regret not ever having what they had?" Graydon asked, nodding toward the two.
Kira considered. "Regret isn't the right word. I wonder what it would have been like, to grow up assured of my parents’ love, to know they would do anything to keep me from harm."
A hum rumbled from Graydon. "I can't help but notice the distinct lack of questions you have regarding them." He slid her a look. "And I can't help but wonder if that is by design."
Kira allowed herself a brief smile. She should have known he'd see through that. "You can't exactly manipulate someone's desires if you never know what those desires are."
"And yet you'll never learn anything if the questions are left unasked," Graydon returned.
She leaned her chin on her fist. "Right now, I'm more interested in Wren's story."
The man held her immediate future in his hands. She needed to get through him for a shot at the trial and later the adva ka. It was all one giant stepping stone, and he was the gatekeeper.
"You remind him of painful things," Graydon said, shooting her a look that said she wasn't fooling him. For now, he was going to let her dodge the subject of her parents, but not always.
Kira waited, hoping Graydon would continue.
He sighed and shook his head as he gave in. "He and Loudon used to serve Harlow as oshota. Both men lost much in the same attack that took the lives of your parents. Wren lost a daughter; Loudon, a wife."
Kira's head lifted. "Obviously, they responded differently to tragedy."
Graydon grunted. "Loudon threw himself into studying the Mea’Ave and its will. It meant he could no longer serve as an oshota because no sword would ever eclipse his loyalty to the Mea’Ave. Wren became one of the best military commanders the emperor and Roake has ever had. He used his grief as fuel to ascend to the next level. It took him beyond being an oshota and made him more. Now, he's one of the most respected among the warrior class. He almost never takes apprentices."
"So, the fact he's here says something," Kira concluded, her eyes narrowed.
Graydon shrugged. "You'll have to ask your uncle or Wren about that. I had nothing to do with it."
For once.
"Why?" Kira asked.
"If I had to guess, it's because Wren is the best. Your uncle is many things, but I have never doubted his devotion to his brother—and by extension, you."
Kira cast him an arch look. "Is that why you sold me out to him?"
Graydon pressed a hand to his chest. "Such harsh words, but we both know in my position you'd do the same." He lifted a finger and pressed it into her forehead. "Like it or not, you contain the potential to be a devastating weapon. No sane person would allow that weapon to be turned against them. There was also the small fact of your health." He dipped his chin, staring at her from under lowered brows. "Or are you going to try to convince me, you're not using this opportunity to your advantage."
Kira avoided his gaze, staring stubbornly at the sea. Maybe so, but that didn't mean she had to be happy about the part he'd played in matters.
His shoulder nudged her. "You forget I saw you drop the initiates off that cliff. You had fun. I know you did."
Her answer was forestalled as one of the youths lost his balance. Kira jolted forward as they teetered on the edge, knowing she would never be in time.
Graydon remained motionless behind her as the youth plummeted. Several seconds later, a splash sounded, and then a voice shouted up at them.
Kira watched open-mouthed as the second youth laughed before backflipping off the cliff.
Two heads appeared in the waves below as they swam along the cliffs.
"The adal. Loosely translated, it means the reckoning," Graydon mused, joining her where she peered over the edge. "I remember doing something similar when I was their age. Tuann on the cusp of adolescence often challenge each other to dangerous undertakings. As challenges go, this one is relatively safe."
"Relatively?" Kira stared at him in disbelief.
Did he understand how far below the ocean was? If they hit it wrong, they could break a limb. At the very least, they could knock the air out of their lungs and make surfacing difficult. She'd known hardened soldiers who would have hesitated at such a jump.
Graydon grinned, his expression suddenly sly.
Kira took a step back. "Don't even think about it."
Graydon was already climbing onto the edge. "You wanted to know what it would have meant to grow up Tuann."
Kira lunged, trying to grab him. Too late as he tilted, letting gravity drag him over the edge. He dropped into a headfirst dive.
"You're still wearing your armor," she shouted after him.
It was no use. He was already gone.
Kira shot an angry glance at Finn and the rest of Graydon's oshota. They stared placidly back.
Kira growled before clambering onto the wall. At least she knew where she got her lack of fear about heights from. It seemed her species were nearly as crazy as her.
She stepped away from the wall, not allowing herself to second guess or think about all the things that could go wrong. Things like hitting rock instead of water, of getting sucked down by an undertow, drowning, breaking a limb. Nothing mattered except the thrill of falling.
The rush she got as air swept by her was familiar.
Kira crossed her arms over her chest and pointed her toes an instant before she hit the water.
Its icy embrace closed over her head as she held her breath. When her descent slowed, she opened her eyes and started to swim for the surface, the lights she'd seen playing on the waves all around her, emanating from everywhere and nowhere at the same time.
Kira's ascent paused as she stopped to study a fleck where it bobbed next to her. She reached out to touch it and withdrew in surprise when it winked out.
Her curiosity thwarted, and her lungs burning, she kicked, propelling herself toward the surface. The first gasp of blessed air was a welcome relief.
As soon as she could breathe properly again, she shouted, "Graydon, you bastard. You'd better not have drowned."
A warm chuckle sounded in her ear seconds before arms wrapped around her. Kira had enough time to mentally curse and suck in a lung full of air as he sank beneath the waves, taking her with him.
She wiggled free, using his torso as a springboard as she made her escape. They surfaced at the same time. Graydon remained mostly submerged, only his eyes and nose peeking above the water.
It was surprisingly mischievous—and disturbingly adorable.
A wall of water hit her from the side, nearly drowning her in the process.
Kira coughed and choked when she finally surfaced. "How is that fair? I can't use ki to exact revenge."
He smirked at her. "The strong know you have to make your own justice."
He wanted to play like that, did he? He had no idea what he'd started.
The smile that flared on his face said he did and looked forward to the battle.
Kira dove before he could grab her, cutting through the water with the efficiency of a shark. She might not have spent much time planetside, but she'd always loved the water, spending as much time in it as she could.
Unburdened by armor, Kira found herself with the advantage.
Graydon was fast, but here, she was faster. She grabbed his leg, yanking him down, disengaging before he could retaliate. She was already swimming away, disappearing into the inky darkness.
The water grabbed her, an invisible current dragging her toward the surface and above where she hovered a foot above the ocean as Graydon laughed.
With a sly grin, Graydon released his ki, and Kira splashed into the water, going under.
Graydon was waiting for her with a taunting smile as she surfaced. "That's not all you've got, is it? I must confess to being disappointed if it is. I was looking forward to a challenge."
Kira snarled, whipping the water off her face.
"Now, what are you going to do, coli?" he said, his voice wrapping around her like decadent silk.
She was going to conquer.
Before she got the chance, waves, disobeying the laws of physics, swamped her, sending her spinning. She grinned as she tumbled through the water. It wasn't going to be that easy.
She reached out with her senses, her heart leaping as the faintest trickle of ki answered her. It was nowhere near the tsunami that had once flooded her, but after weeks of nothing, its presence felt like the first battle cry of victory.
As it flowed through her fingers, Kira considered her best options. She couldn't compete head to head with Graydon, not with ki. Not yet.
However, there were other ways.
Kira started to swim away from him, letting him think he'd won, and she was trying to escape. A chuckle rumbled from him as he sliced through the water toward her.
That's it. Come to mama.
The ki trailed out from her, gossamer-thin strands barely visible in her mind’s eye as Graydon cut through them. Sweat popped on her forehead as she coaxed more of those strands out of her, faster and faster, tangling them to create a deceptive web, one that looked fragile but wasn't.
Those threads wrapped around Graydon's limbs, creating a lasso that tightened the more he moved.
She flexed that internal muscle she associated with the ki, and the lasso tightened, halting his movement.
Surprise reflected off Graydon's face, and she chortled at his shock as he was yanked beneath the surface of the waves.
That was her chance. The web she'd spun with ki, creating dozens of wire-thin currents to impede his progress, wouldn't delay him long. Kira sliced through the water toward the shore, reaching for every bit of speed she had.
Her feet touched bottom, and she stretched, victory within reach.
He yanked her back, murmuring in her ear. "Nice try. Give up yet?"
"You should know by now, I don't know the meaning of the word," Kira taunted. She drove her elbow into his face, a victorious grin chasing across her face at his muffled curse as he dropped her.
That'd teach him not to take victory for granted.
She sloshed forward, feeling the ki build. She tried to hurry, the water fighting her. He barked a word and a wave crested, sending her tumbling. She scrabbled at the seabed as it dragged her backward, dumping her at Graydon's feet in waist-high water.
She burst from the water, aiming a punch at the arrogant angle of Graydon's jaw. His head shifted as one hand changed the trajectory of hers. "I believe this is my win."
"Not yet," Kira snarled.
She thrust the heel of her palm into his chest, much as she had the woman from House Dethos. Unlike the woman, Graydon barely budged as pain rocketed through her wrist and palm.
Graydon's hand was gentle as it cradled hers where her hand still rested on his chest. "Was that a love tap? I barely felt it."
Kira bared her teeth. Love tap, her ass.
She kicked out, aiming for his knee. Graydon stumbled sideways, recovering in time to block the two punches she aimed at the side of his head. He grabbed one of her arms, twisting. Kira twisted with it, unprepared for him to shove her away.
This time she was the one to stumble, barely defending against him as he hammered a blow against her side. She caught it with a side block, her grin bloodthirsty and vicious. Another man might have retreated. Not Graydon. His answering grin invited her to reciprocate.
Normal ocean waves battered at them, making footing difficult.
Kira thrilled at the challenge, whipping a feint at his head before dropping and hammering both fists into the side of his knee. It collapsed, a grunt of pain leaving Graydon.
Was that love tap enough for him?
She didn't get the chance to dwell on her victory as he followed up with his own feint and lunge, forcing her to back away. They fought like that, each gaining and losing ground as they battled.
"What's wrong? A little tired?" he asked, his chest moving from his exertions.
"Please, this is nothing," she returned, as out of breath as him.
They leaped toward each other, coming together with a crash. Pain blossomed along Kira's side and arms. She ignored it, returning the favor seconds later when Graydon's guard dropped.
He shoved her back, using his bigger mass and greater strength as a battering ram.
Kira cursed as a wave nearly sent her under. The same wave caused his balance to wobble.
She moved before he could recover, latching onto his arm and attempting a judo throw. He let his balance fall forward, changing his grip at the last minute and taking her with him.
She felt her balance reach the point of no return and sucked in a breath as they both went under. Graydon wrapped her in a bear hug and rolled them away from shore.
She brought her legs up, planting them against his belly and shoving. He resisted, and for a split second, she feared she wouldn't get free. She strained, putting more force into her legs. She popped free, her spine hitting the sea bed.
She floated up, blinking into the oddly lit water. Finally, noticing how bright it had gotten. Small balls of light coalescing around their bodies until it looked as if they were glowing.
Kira forgot their battle, pushing herself toward the surface.
Graydon rose with her, hovering an arm’s length away as she touched the small glowing balls with wonder. What sort of creature or plant created such things?
She laughed at the gentle sensation brushed against her skin, like something was mouthing it to get her taste. It felt astonishingly like thousands of silky hairs brushing along her fingers and hand.
"They're feilli," Graydon rumbled, his eyes soft as he watched her interact with the glowing balls. "They're symbiotic. Their preferred food source is the lu-ong, but our ki will work too. With the lu-ong being this close to shore for the first time in years, we've had a better than average nightly display."
"Are they dangerous?"
"No. Feel," he instructed.
She did. The slight zips of energy weren't only one way. She could feel it flowing into her as well, a constant feedback loop, strengthening and healing. All around them the feilli lit up, creating a river of light under the water as they led into the wide ocean. In other places, smaller groupings of dots floated along the waves. For a moment, Kira let herself get lost in the wonder, fancying the stars above had come down to dance with the ocean.
"I've never seen anything like it," Kira breathed.
Her eyes met his. The moment stretched between them, a magnet slowly and inexorably drawing them together.
Their bodies brushed, the movement of the waves bobbing them up and down. His lips found hers, soft and firm. She reached up, her hands landing on his shoulders as he pulled her body tight against his.
Her legs wound up around his waist as he fed at her mouth. The glow around them grew, the feilli burning brighter as if in response.
"This is a bad idea," Kira said between kisses.
"I don't care.
She didn't either, too busy glutting herself on him. Adrenaline transformed to desire as his hands moved along her back. A bright sensation, almost too intense to bear, stole her breath.
Her fingers scrabbled at his armor, wanting to touch bare skin. Frustration hummed through her when they met hard resist
ance.
One of his hands landed on her breast, his clever fingers swirling over her nipple. She forgot about his armor, arousal shooting through her as her head fell back. Graydon's lips left hers to travel along her jaw and then the sensitive side of her neck.
His expression was feral, possession and anticipation crouched in his eyes. Challenge glittered in hers.
Graydon was the temptation she kept trying to resist, his presence a drug.
His lips moved over hers, his hands cupping her ass as he pulled her more fully against him. Kira wiggled against his armor. She squeaked as it peeled back, leaving bare skin for her to explore. She didn’t hesitate, her hands moving over muscle, squeezing, unsurprised at his hardness. His physique showed the commitment to his cause, developed over years. Right now, though, it existed solely for her pleasure.
Her tongue flicked out, tasting salt on his skin as a breath shuddered out of him. She smiled against him. She was glad she wasn't the only one who had trouble thinking in these stolen moments.
"Come to my room," he demanded as she trailed her lips along his jaw, nibbling on the side of his neck in a mirror of what he'd done to her moments before.
"Can't."
"You keep saying that," he growled.
Her fingers dug into his waist as she fought to resist the arousal coiling in her belly. It was harder than it should have been.
If he'd been just a pretty face, she could have walked away without a backward glance. He wasn't. His mind was as intriguing as his body.
"That doesn't mean it isn't true," she told him.
"Face it, you find me irresistible."
Surprisingly, she found his grumpy arrogance charming. More so as he dropped another kiss on the side of her neck right below her ear.
Her eyelashes fluttered shut. She cleared her throat. She was on the brink of giving in. She wanted this so much more than she could admit.
The word “yes” hovered on her lips, swallowed as a presence on the shore caught their attention. Graydon's armor crawled across his skin, cloaking his vulnerability as a harsh exhale left him, visible irritation replacing the anticipation that had been there.