by KT Strange
“That doesn’t concern you.” The words were a mistake, compounding the argument, ratcheting up the tension and Cash lashed out, angry, his eyes flaring with hurt.
“Like fuck it doesn’t! Darcy, this is our lives on the line, and you know it,” he practically shouted down at me, his hand reaching out for my shoulder. Without thinking, I slapped him away, jagged streaks of lightning flaring across my fingertips with a snap and a rumble.
Cash jerked back, eyes wide.
We were both silent and still for a moment.
“So,” he licked his lips, “that’s how it is, huh?”
Tears prickled at the corners of my eyes and I blinked them away, furiously.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” I whispered, angry with myself for losing control, and pissed off at him for pushing me to the edge. There was a noise of shuffling feet behind me and when I turned Dean was stood there, Chelsea behind him.
They both surveyed me with serious, if calm, expressions.
“What?” Cash asked, shouldering in front of me, and for once his desire to protect me felt more smothering than anything else.
“Let’s go talk in the bus,” Chelsea said. “You’re gonna call a whole whack of unwanted attention if you keep shooting off like that.”
Twelve
Darcy
“Where’s Max?” I sat on the edge of the creamy-white leather couch in Chelsea’s bus, wanting to be anywhere else. I’d nearly shocked Cash, and that coupled with the ugly words we shared had wiped away any afterglow of my time with Finn.
“Aaron took her to get ice cream,” Seth said, slipping an arm around Chelsea’s waist as they leaned against the kitchenette counter. The bus was gorgeous, all done up in creamy whites and pastels. It was clearly a custom job, made to suit Chelsea and her team that she toured with. There was a light hint of lemon in the air and I tried to discreetly inhale. Dean saw me and he grinned before relaxing back on another one of the couches.
“This private party got room for the rest of the pack?” Cash had disappeared before I’d climbed into the bus. Behind him stood my band, my pack, their eyes on me. Disappointment was heavy on Eli’s face, and I couldn't help but want to glare back at him. I hadn't mean to spark up at Cash. He'd pushed me. I broke my eyes from his and glanced at Ace.
Ace looked worried as he pushed past the guys and came to sit next to me, his weight comforting next to mine. Finn followed with a sigh until I was bracketed by them both, a werewolf sandwich with me as the witchy filling. Or was I the surprise to their Kinder egg? My stomach grumbled and Finn turned to me.
"You hungry? I can get you something." His fingers took my hand gently, his eyes hectic. He spoke to Chelsea without looking at her. "You got food in this bucket of bolts you call a bus?" His tone was sharp.
"Don't mind him," Ace said as he relaxed back, his hand soft and gentle on the curve of my back. Dean raised an eyebrow but went to one of the kitchen cabinets, pulling out a bag of cookies. He passed it to me. Finn grabbed it from his hand and huffed out a breath, opening the bag for me. Dean let out a low chuckle and stood near Chelsea. "He's in rut," Ace said, and Chelsea's eyes widened for a moment. Seth's arm around her tightened.
Finn grunted.
"Sorry, it's just making me all fucking crazy," he said, trying to hand me three cookies at once. Eli sighed.
"She can only eat one." Eli gestured at Ace. "Can you help Finn figure that out."
"She's got two hands," Finn argued. "She can handle two cookies at the same time."
Seth and Dean were exchanging glances, Chelsea's eyes growing wider in her face. My own cheeks were burning with heat and I really hoped that no one else was getting Finn's unintended double entendre.
"You wanted to talk," Cash grated out. Ace quietly convinced Finn that two cookies were probably too much for the current conversation we were going to have, and put the extras away.
"Before we get started on this serious business conversation," Charlie's voice came from behind Cash and Eli, until he leaned around them. "We've got maybe thirty minutes before we have to be backstage, so as much as this convo has to happen, it has to happen fast."
Chelsea sighed as I took a bite of my cookie. The pastry felt like cardboard in my mouth but I ate it knowing that if I didn't, Finn would get all rumbly. It seemed like him being in rut meant not just wanting to tear my clothes off, but feed me everything in a twenty foot radius as well. I was just too nervous and upset with myself to enjoy the attention. If I hadn't nearly electrocuted Cash, I would have seen if I could convince Finn that I desperately required cheesecake.
"How long have your powers been this out of control?" Chelsea's first words made me swallow my cookie down the wrong way. I coughed and Ace slapped me on the back, Finn snarling for a bottle of water. The plastic lip of a cup was pressed to my lips before I could even ask for it, and I took a deep drag of the cool liquid and cleared my throat.
"We just want to help," Seth said, leaning forward and watching me carefully. "You're not really in the position to be calling attention to yourself like that."
"She knows," Finn bit the words out. Ace rolled his eyes at his pack-mate's surly attitude.
"Seriously, if you can't calm down and behave like a person and not a beast, then get out," Ace ordered him. We all went quiet. Finn stared at Ace. I held my breath, waiting for the fallout.
Finn growled and wrapped an arm around me, tugging me into his side.
"Thank you," Ace said to Finn before nudging me gently. "Talk to Chelsea. Please?"
My mouth was dry. Oh god this was it, the poison that had been dripping in my veins since I was small, all the mocking comments from my father, the disappointed looks from my mother. . .
It came out.
It all came out.
"I've never had control of my powers." Each word felt like a bandage being ripped off my skin, leaving my heart exposed right where it thumped in my chest. The hot stares of my pack glanced over me. "I'm," my voice shook, "I'm a bad witch."
The silence was deafening, pressing in on me from all angles.
In the quiet, Cash sighed. My skin itched and I wanted to look at him, but all I could was stare straight ahead, at Chelsea's blank face. The edges of my vision were dark, almost fuzzy, and if Finn and Ace hadn't been bookending me, I think I would have pitched over sideways.
"I don't understand." Chelsea's careful expression had turned into a frown. "What do you mean by that?"
Something tickled my leg and I realized I was crumpling the cookie in my hand, crumbs falling down. Ace passed me a tissue from his pocket, and I dumped the remains of the cookie into it. Finn had the good sense not to give me another cookie.
"I just, well, I've never been good at magic, ever." My words were stilted and harsh, and they hurt to say. I hoped Chelsea got that telling her this, telling them all this, was like cutting open my veins and letting the blood run free. "So. . . sometimes, it's out of my control. I lose my temper, or get upset, and all of the sudden I'm sparking up. That's new though, that never happened before—" I bit my tongue. Finn was so close to me. I leaned into him, Ace firm on my other side. "Before these guys."
Chelsea glanced at the pack. I didn't dare look. It was out now, my dirty little secret, and maybe they'd guessed at it, since things had been hinted at, or from my non-answers, but I'd never said it in such blunt terms.
Seth glanced at Chelsea, his lips a tight line. Dean was lacing his fingers together, twining them, the soft pink underside of his hands flashing as he twisted his hands together. Was he nervous? I was more than nervous. It felt like I was going to vomit back up that mouthful of cookie.
"It just doesn't make any sense." Chelsea's words were cautious and measured. "If you weren't any good at magic, then you wouldn't even be able to cast at all, let alone—"
"You need help," Seth interrupted Chelsea and she glared at him for a second.
"We can help her," Eli said, voice firm. "She doesn't need any other help than the pack.
"
Chelsea snorted and looked at him, offense in every line of her face.
"You're going to help her. With magic. You." She shook her head. "I don't think so." Eli's brow furrowed.
"She just needs to calm down, because it's only when she gets upset." Ace spoke up for a moment then cleared his throat. He squeezed me. "Sorry, Darce, I know you don't like it when we talk about you like you're not here." He gave a pointed look at both Eli and Chelsea. A small smile curved across my lips, but it was shaky.
My boys were fidgeting, shifting where they sat and stood, and I was picking up on their discomfort, or maybe they were picking up on mine. A hard swallow gripped my throat.
"I don't need help. My mother tried to teach me and I could never learn. It's just now that my power keeps acting like an untrained dog all the time." My lungs filled up, stretching as I inhaled as much air as I could to keep myself from bursting into tears right there. These people were all so talented, and magical creatures on top of being amazing at music. I felt like a shoe in comparison. An old shoe.
Frustrated tears ran down my cheeks and I wiped at them furiously. Ace passed me another tissue. A soft rumbling purr started up in Finn's chest, and Ace echoed him. I studied the tops of my knees. My knees were interesting. Much more interesting than hearing about what a fucking failure I was at magic, such a fuck-up that I'd failed at failing.
"She needs a witch to help her, which is obvious and you should know better than that, Elias." Chelsea's tone was bordering on scolding, and his face flickered with emotions so fast that I thought he was going to snap at her, but instead he nodded, resigned. Seth gazed at his girlfriend and sighed.
"There's, well, probably not a witch alive who'd help you out, and that's what you need." Seth shrugged and glanced briefly at Dean, who was tapping his fingers on his thighs, frowning in concentration.
"Something to help you figure out why your powers are lighting up when they never have before, right?" Dean asked. I shook my head.
"Never. I couldn't have sparked if I'd wanted to, and I wanted to, so badly. I was a let down and an embarrassment." I met Chelsea's eyes as I spoke, wanting her to know exactly how much it had hurt, so she didn't think less of me for not being able to control my magic.
"And now?"
"It keeps happening without me meaning to. Whenever I get upset about anything, I can feel it inside me, rising up and I'm scared that I'm going to hurt someone who doesn't deserve it," I answered her. I wasn't looking at Cash, but I wanted him to hear my words and know that I was talking about him. Sure, we'd been fighting, but I hadn't meant to nearly hurt him.
Chelsea took one of Seth's hands in hers and squeezed it gently before she nodded.
"The only thing that could possibly help you would be one of those little hedge witch enclaves," she said after a quiet moment.
"A what?" I glanced around the bus but my guys were shrugging, and both Seth and Dean didn't look like they had any more idea of what she was talking about.
"Non-council witches," Chelsea said and Seth's eyebrows rose in recognition.
"Oh yeah. But it's kinda hard to find them," he said after a beat. "They don't like to make themselves well known for obvious reasons."
"Wait, what? There's witches that aren't. . ." My words died in my mouth as Chelsea gave me a look that told me everything I needed to know.
"Your council really doesn't tell you anything, do they?" Dean clapped Chelsea on the shoulder gently as he spoke. "Can you fucking imagine, they had a storm witch on their hands and they weren't even able to teach her how not to call the lightning down on anyone who pissed her off?"
My face was getting hot again.
"Can we not talk about how bad I am with magic, please?" My tone was nearly begging. Finn's soft, comforting purr turned into a protective rumble. Charlie held up a hand.
"A little less focus on what our girl can't do, and a little more on what we're going to do for her," he said, finally speaking up after a long quiet minute. Cash nodded and Eli frowned.
"It's hard for me to believe that there's any kind of witch out there except a council witch. Darcy's the only one I've met who didn't blindly follow the council, and even then it's been—" Eli paused and gave me a wry smile. "It was hard for you to accept we weren't throat-biting monsters at first."
I thought of Finn and Ace's urge to constantly nip at my throat whenever we had sex, but I didn't feel the need to point that out to him in front of Chelsea, Seth, and Dean. My guys liked to bite throats, but not in the way I'd imagined as a little girl listening to tales about murderous, dangerous werewolves.
They posed a lot more danger to my panties than to my life. Which was why I needed to get ahold of my powers before I hurt one of them instead of the real enemy: the hunters following us.
"The last hedge witch I knew of was probably dead before any of you were born," Chelsea admitted, and I made a tiny mental note to figure out how I could politely ask about her real age at some point.
"Well that option's right out, and any witch we run into is going to have their hate on for the guys ‘cause they're werewolves and—" Dean froze mid-sentence and then everyone on the bus except me went still. I was about to ask what was wrong when I heard it.
"Darcy?" Max's voice floated up to us as she climbed onto the bus, a half-eaten ice cream in her hand. A confused look was on her face. Charlie and Eli shifted out of her way, but she didn't step past them.
Her eyes shifted from my guys, to Glory Rev and Chelsea, to me.
"Max!" Aaron came huffing up the stairs, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw the scene in front of him.
Ice cream dripped down Max's hand. She stared straight at me.
"What did he mean, ‘‘cause they're werewolves’?"
Thirteen
Darcy
It was the stuff that nightmares were made of. Max's confusion gave way to dawning realization. My lips parted to say something, anything.
But there was nothing I could say. How could I even begin to explain to her everything that had happened?
"Max," Chelsea said, and I felt that familiar, fuzzy, prickly feeling float over me.
"No!" I stood up, and the lights on the bus flickered. Everyone's eyes were on me, and Finn stood up right after me, growling. Chelsea's face went pale. "No, you're not going to glamour her."
"Glamour me?" Max echoed my words. "Is she a witch?"
"No, Max, she's not." There had to be a saying for this kind of moment, but 'your unicorns are coming home to roost' didn't quite fit. I stepped up to my friend, and swallowed hard. She could hate me afterward, but I had to tell her the truth. Things weren't sorted with my magic abilities, and the guys, who had been painfully silent over my admission of being the worst witch to ever toss a lightning bolt. But I was in the thick of it. There was no going back.
"They're werewolves," Max said, pointing at my guys, her eyebrows pulling together. She took a deep breath. "Oh my god, they're werewolves. That explains so much."
Charlie barked out a laugh and Cash snorted.
"Seriously?" he asked, before looking around. "She's not freaking out."
Max licked her lips and then cleared her throat.
"I was kinda listening for a little bit," she admitted. Chelsea glared at Aaron and he held up his hands.
"For a mundane, she's seriously good at sneaking off," he explained.
"Max, you're dripping." Ace sounded pained, and she looked down.
"So I am." Her voice was a bit faint. Eli pulled out a cloth handkerchief from his pocket (and when things weren't serious, I would have to tease him about that) and gave it to her. She wiped at the mess on her fingers. The bus was filled with people doing good impressions of wax figures. "Werewolves, huh? Crazy. I thought, well, I mean it makes sense, witches, magic, that sort of thing, and then werewolves. . ." She eyed Eli up and down for a moment. "So do you go furry at that time of the month?"
Ace laughed and then shut up when Eli glared at him.
"What, it's a serious question," Max insisted.
"No." Eli said the one word with enough strength to shut down even the most uninhibited person and that's when I remembered Chelsea and the other two unicorns who were probably doing a number on Max's internal filters. I shot them a look. Chelsea met my eyes evenly and sighed.
"Max, you know a little bit about the magic world, right?"
"Are you a werewolf too? Like is every band a werewolf?" Max wrinkled her nose. "I didn't meant to say that out loud." She busied herself with eating her ice cream.
"No, we're a different sort of creature altogether," Chelsea said, her words slow and weighted. "Do you remember the night I made you feel better? You were—"
Max's throat visibly tightened and she made a pained noise, her hand pulling her ice cream away from her mouth. I could see it on her face, the memories as they came rushing back to the surface like they had with me.
Scrambling to my feet, I took a few steps over to Max, bracing her with an arm around her waist and catching her ice cream when she nearly dropped it. She looked at me like the ground had just fallen out from under her feet.
"He tried to kill me." Her fingers went to her neck and I snapped.
"Alright, what the fuck." I was done. "C'mon, Max." I wrapped my arm around her tighter and guided her toward the stairs.
Bad, traumatic, scary shit had happened to her, and she had the right to remember it in privacy without a bunch of unicorns and werewolves staring at her.
"Where are you going?" Chelsea called after me, but I ignored her. Max was breathing hard, her skin cold and clammy with sweat.
I ignored Chelsea and everyone else in the bus as I walked Max down and out into the fresh air. She looked down at me, her eyes brimming with tears.
"It really happened, I thought I'd just had a shitty dream," she said, sounding like she was choking for air.