The Moirai

by Ali Winters

  Turning to Evander and Azira, she steeled her spine. She didn’t care about herself, or if she were destroyed. Her fate no longer mattered. But she would do it for her friends.

  “All right,” she said, her voice dry and scratching in her parched throat.

  “Thank you,” Caspian said and placed a kiss on the top of her head. He let his arms fall back to his sides. “Tomorrow?”

  “Tomorrow.”

  Caspian headed toward the door, signaling to Evander. He nodded to her, then vanished alongside Caspian as they transported out. Behind them, Azira hung back, leaning against the counter that separated the main room from the kitchen.

  “I’ll be heading out as well.” She raised a brow. “Unless you want me to stay?”

  Nivian gave her a wan smile. “Thank you, but I think I’ll try to get some rest.”

  “Okay.” Azira took one step toward the door then changed course, running to Nivian and throwing her arms around her in a tight hug. “You know where to find me if you need anything.”

  The apartment felt even emptier than before after everyone had left. It matched her soul. Empty, hollow, barren.

  She released a long sigh and leaned back against the counter. It was a relief to not have the weight of all eyes on her, even if they were well meaning.

  Nivian picked at her cuticles. Reluctantly, she dragged her gaze up to a box on the counter with discarded brown paper piled atop of a larger box with scraps of silver paper still clinging to it. When she’d left her apartment for Kain’s, she’d brought everything he’d ever given her. The bear, the t-port, and even the boxes and wrapping they came in. But she hadn’t looked at them since.

  She walked over and picked up the small box, placing it within the other, then began folding the wrapping. An envelope with her name scrawled across in Kain’s handwriting slid out and fell to the floor.

  Her heart pounded in her chest. She’d forgotten to open it all those weeks ago. Now it was as if Kain were reaching out to her even now.

  Nivian bent down to pick it up and unfolded it. The trembling in her fingers making the task overly difficult. She pressed her hands and the letter to her chest, then took a deep breath to slow her racing pulse.

  A message from Kain. She wanted to read it, but also wanted to savor the possibility of what it would say. Her legs shook.

  Finally, she flattened the letter out on the table, took a seat, and read.

  Love, Kain.

  Love …

  Her heart swelled and shattered all at the same time. She never thought words could feel so good and cause so much pain at the same time. She read it over and over and over again, wishing it were longer. Wishing it had answers to questions she hadn’t yet thought to ask.

  With the tip of her fingers, she took her time and traced each and every letter, caressing each stroke of the pen as if it could transport her to his side as he wrote it. She closed her eyes and imagined she stood next to him. Imagined she could hear the scratch of the pen on paper, feel the warmth of his body next to hers, smell the scent of his cologne…

  Letting her eyes flutter open again, Nivian slumped back into the chair. She wanted him back.

  She stuffed her hand into her pocket and pulled out a golden watch with a howling wolf etched on the surface. With the press of the crown, the lid popped open. Though it no longer ticked, she could feel the pulse of his life force held within.

  “I’m so sorry, Kain.” It seemed to be the only words she could think to say to him. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. She wanted to be absolved of her guilt, but any words she uttered did nothing to release her.

  To her hollowed heart, they were flat and meaningless.

  After all, she had taken Kain’s soul. She had cut his life thread. Knowing he could never have recovered from the hit he took from Yeva’s powers changed nothing.

  She alone was responsible for his death.

  THREE

  NIVIAN

  SHE WASN’T READY for this. She wanted to run, fast and far away from everything. But her feet stayed rooted to the ground. Nivian clenched and unclenched her hands, then shook them out as if that could rid her of her nerves. In her mind, she reasoned that she hadn’t been gone much longer than she normally was.

  No one would notice.

  The wrought iron gates of G.R.I.M. Headquarters loomed before her. Behind them, the never-ending sunrise warmed the sky, backlighting the massive tower and giving the impression that the golden gypsum gleamed from within. But as Nivian took in the familiar sight, the usual brilliant colors seemed dull and listless, the light a little less vibrant.

  She pressed her way through the gates and strode through the obsidian doors. Reapers she’d know all her life milled around the main hall and walkways. Some leaned against walls chatting, some in small groups, and others walked in all directions as they moved from one place to another doing various duties.

  Everything looked exactly as it always had. The pillars with their intricate carvings, the pace of movement… it was all the same. Logically, she expected as much. Yet… how was it possible for everyone to carry on when her world had been turned upside down and ripped apart so completely?

  The doors closed with a clang behind her and she stilled, as all eyes seemed to gravitate to her face. For a beat, everything seemed to stop, save for the steady thrumming of her heart. Nivian sucked in a lungful of air and squeezed her eyes tight, counting to three.

  When she opened them, she looked around again. Not a single Reaper paid her any attention, all absorbed with their own business. Nivian forced her feet to move again. The few who did look her way, only spared brief glances as she passed, giving her no more heed than any other time.

  She walked unseeing through the massive building, a single destination in mind, toward the spiraling stairs in the back. The number of Reapers dwindled as she moved deeper into the building, until she was the only one in the massive hall. Only the sound of her own footsteps reaching her ears.

  She turned the corner and headed for the stairs leading to the top floor. She loosed a breath, relieved to have a moment alone. Though she spent the majority of her time alone anymore, that brief moment being around so many others wore on her.

  Something about G.R.I.M. Headquarters felt off. It wasn’t the home she’d always known. She felt so… alien now.

  She paused at hearing soft steps from behind.

  “Nivian?” The familiar voice stopped her in her tracks. Evander walked toward her as she glanced over her shoulder. Dark strands of hair fell across his forehead as he dipped his chin. “I am glad to see you here,” he said.

  A smile spread across her lips, it felt strained and tight. She couldn’t say the same. Not that it was his fault, but being here was the last thing she wanted.

  “I have to go.” Nivian turned away.

  She’d only made it a few steps before the sounds of his boots caught up with her, falling into step only a pace behind her. “I think returning will help you get your mind off things,” he said.

  There was no malice in his words, yet they stung all the same. The unease of returning to her duties fell away and changed into anger. Nivian narrowed her eyes as she rounded on him, stopping at the foot of the stairs. “Evander,” she said with ice on her tongue. “Do you have any idea what this feels like?” Her arm shot out, first motioning to herself then to their surroundings.

  His expression dropped into a neutral mask. He thought for a moment, taking her question literally before cocking his head to the side and answering with a simple, “No.”

  And all at once, her anger fizzled out as if doused with water. The stark honesty of his expression dulled further sharp words.

  “It hurts. It’s not a pain that just goes away. I can’t just forget it.” Tears burned the backs of her eyes, leaching the strength from her voice as her words came out little more than a sigh. Her breathing sped up. “I can’t breathe.”

  Evander closed the distance between them and placed a calming ha
nd on her shoulder. “Perhaps, then, this will help you to learn how to breathe again.”

  Nivian’s lip trembled. Evander let his arm drop back to his side and gave her a friendly nod, then turned and walked the other way.

  She waited until he’d turned the corner, then began her assent.

  The polished obsidian banister was cold beneath her palm as she jogged up, up, up, slowing only as she neared the top. Her heart pounded when she finally reached the landing. Nivian paused and waited for her pulse to return to normal.

  She frowned. Such a response was unusual, but she brushed it off.

  Down the hall, light poured from the open doors of Caspian’s office. She approached slowly, trying to draw these last few moments out as if she delayed long enough then she wouldn’t have to face the reality of what she would soon be forced into.

  Standing on the edge of the shadows, Nivian regarded her friend and mentor as he leaned over the massive book that was the Tome of Fate. One elbow rested upon the desktop holding his head up. His quill scratched furiously against small pieces of parchment. No doubt assigning marks to hand out to many of the Reapers waiting in the halls below.

  Books filled the shelves lining the walls to frame the three arched windows at his back. Gold filigree swirled along the colorful spines, glinting in the dull light. The room felt darker, colder, than the last time she’d visited. There was a time when she used to enter the room with boundless energy; ready for any challenge Caspian had deemed to set for her. A time when she looked forward to out doing herself, excelling at her job… though it might as well have been another lifetime, another Reaper.

  Nivian knocked on the open door and took several tentative steps until she reached the middle of the room.

  Caspian lifted his head, the scratching of his writing stilled as he met her gaze. The quill slipped from between his fingers. His mouth, pressed into a thin line, stretched into a smile, yet the traces of a frown remained. It lasted for only a second.

  He stood, rounding the desk to meet her halfway, and pulled her into a hug. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head—a gesture of their friendship that had been a constant for so long, of something they’d almost had. Caspian pulled back and examined her face, his head tilted to the side. Lifting a hand, the tips of his fingers brushed across her forehead, pushing her hair back.

  “Are you well?” he asked, sliding his hand down the side of her temples to cup her cheek before running over her shoulder and down the length of her arm.

  Her brows furrowed. Why would he ask that? He knew how she was doing. It had taken everything in her to come today.

  “I’m sorry. I think it will be a while longer before I’m really up to anything,” she paused and took a step back, out of his reach. Hurt flickered across his face but was gone in a blink. “But you told me to come today.”

  “You are sweating.” Caspian furrowed his brows. “How long have you been affected by temperature?”

  “I—” The question caught her off guard. She’d expected many things from him, but not that. She reached up and touched her forehead, her fingers came away slick with sweat. Her hand fell limply to her side. In the middle of a roaring fire Evander had asked her if she was okay. She had sweat then too. But was that the first time?

  She scrunched her brow and thought back. Unbidden, the memory of Kain sitting next to her… of a brightly colored piece of mail fluttering to the ground. Of him holding out a hand to help her up as she sat in a puddle of soapy water. He’d always affected her.

  She shook her head, pushing those memories down and locking them away.

  Caspian led her to the chair. She plopped down in the plush seat, slumping into the cushion, arms dangling over the armrests. He took a seat across from her, leaning forward on the wide desktop. He looked at her expectantly. When she didn’t move or speak, he leaned back, clasping his hands in his lap, and waited.

  In an effort to avoid him, Nivian let her eyes wander across his desk. The dark, polished wood glistened in the soft light coming through the three large, arched windows. Finally, her gaze settled on the pendulum swinging back and forth, the five spheres ranged from clear crystal to a deep, opaque midnight. Nivian focused on the rhythmic clicking, almost hypnotizing.

  Caspian cleared his throat. She looked up, acknowledging him. After a long moment of silence between them, he raised his eyebrows, then frowned. “Nivi?”

  “Mmm?”

  “How long have you been susceptible to temperature?” he asked again, probably with more patience than she deserved at that point.

  She shrugged. “I suppose it’s been happening on and off since…” she trailed off for a moment, “the mass reaping in the factory with the fire, before I went searching for Silas.”

  “I see.” He steepled his hands, tapping the two forefingers together thoughtfully. “I believe it may be an affect caused by the—” His eyes widened for a flash of a second as he swallowed the rest of his words, as if realizing too late what he was going to say. Her fingers curled into the fabric of her cloak.

  “By what, Caspian?” she asked pointedly. Nivian’s knuckles threatened to pop from their sockets as her fists tightened further within the folds of material.

  “Nivian.” Her name fell like a plea from his tongue.

  “Tell me,” she demanded. Never before had she dared order him to do anything. And though she dreaded the words that she knew would fall from his lips, she had to hear them. She needed them to be said.

  Something dark and full of icy rage that lived deep inside of her screamed for the words to be said, so she could feel the pain they would inflict upon her husk of a heart.

  Caspian’s eyes widened slightly at her tone. But then he dipped his chin in an almost indiscernible manner before giving in. “The Hunter,” he said in a near whisper.

  “Say his name.” The low pitch of her voice surprised even her. Kain deserved to have his name spoken, not forgotten as if he were a mortal of no consequence. He had been so much more, had meant so much more, to the Hunters, the Reapers… and her. “Say, Kain.”

  But he didn’t. Neither moved in their silent battle of wills.

  Her heart sank when he leaned back, his midnight eyes growing dark. He held her gaze, refusing to give her more. Refusing to hurt her more. Instead, he said something she didn’t expect. “I do not believe there is anything to worry about as of yet, but you should monitor it and if you become more sensitive to things as mortals are, let me know right away. This could be as far as it progresses.”

  She gritted her teeth but nodded all the same. Silence wrapped around them, making the air thick and heavy. There was more on his mind than he’d said so far. So she waited. Nivian could see him mulling over a thought again and again, as if he were choosing the exact way to phrase it, tasting his words, waiting for them to ripen. And when he did, it was a punch to the gut, as sour as eating a lemon peal.

  “It is time for you to hand over the watch.”

  All her breath left her in a whoosh. She clung to the arm rests as if she would fall away if she didn’t.

  Not his watch. Not Kain’s watch. But the watch. As if it belonged to any one of a million other possible marks.

  As if it didn’t hold Kain’s life force within.

  Nivian’s fingers gripped the arm rests, her nails scraping against the supple leather. She sat up straight and leaned forward in the chair, ready to stand. “No.”

  His hand sliced through the air and he was on his feet before she was halfway to her own.

  Lightening flashed in his gaze. It wasn’t a threat hiding behind his hardened expression that froze her in place, but something else. Exhaustion? Sorrow? A warning that she was toeing a dangerous line, because friends or not, there were still certain roles they each had to play. At least for the time being.

  Dark eyes, bore down on her, then he let his chin drop to his chest. He let out a breath and returned to his seat. Nivian followed suit, not knowing what else to do in the moment.


  He swiveled his chair to the side so the light from the window washed across features, filling her with a sense of déjà vu. She shrugged, pushing away the feeling.

  “I am afraid that his life force will fade if we do not take care of it soon. It is too powerful to let it fade into nothing. The balance needs it.” He closed his eyes. “And I made a promise to Holter.”

  Ice like fear flooded her veins. She wasn’t ready to let go. Not yet. Her hand twitched, almost reaching to grasp the watch in her pocket. Her heart overruled the logic. Kain’s life force could be renewed, there could be a piece of him born again into this world, but…

  “I’m not ready yet,” she said in a small voice.

  “May I see the watch?” He held out an open hand expectantly.

  Nivian stiffened. This time, her hand gripped it through her clothes. But she made no move to hand it over.

  “I will give it back,” he said gently. “I just want to make sure it hasn’t begun to fade yet.” Still, when she hesitated, he continued, “The last thing I want for you is to have his life force to fade and never be renewed. And I know you don’t want that either.”

  She swallowed, then with a shaking hand, reached into her pocket and pulled out Kain’s golden watch. She ran the pad of her thumb over the embossed howling wolf engraved upon the lid. Nivian fought the urge to put it back and reluctantly set it in Caspian’s hand, letting the gold chain slip through her grasp.

  His fingers curled around it as he brought it close to his face. Nivian’s heart hammered against her ribs. She wanted to reach out and snatch it back. The fear that it had all been a trick to get her to surrender it pulsed through her.

  But he didn’t hide it away. Instead, Caspian turned it over in his hands before pressing down on the crown, opening the lid to expose the face with its unmoving hour, minute, and second hands and the glowing life energy held within.

  The golden light within swirled and danced around the edges, creating watery patterns across his face, as if a small sun were trapped inside a bubble.