Vows to Save Her Reputation

by Christine Merrill

  On this evening, the companion on her right was Lord Fairfax, an older gentleman with a voracious appetite and a very high opinion of himself. Between his comments on the menu and his pontification on world affairs, she had but to nod in response to keep him happy.

  Thus, it was surprising when, during the main course, his one-sided conversation stopped mid-word.

  At first, she wondered if she had missed some verbal cue that a response was required and had left him waiting for her input. But when she turned to look at him, he seemed just as surprised by his silence as she was. His mouth was open, working as if searching for a word, but no sound issued from it. Then a flush began to creep up from his collar turning from deep red to purple as the air in his lungs began to foul.

  ‘Lord Fairfax?’ she said hesitantly, as the man put his hand to his throat, trying to loosen his cravat. ‘Oh, dear.’ The man was choking on his beefsteak.

  She looked quickly from side to side, wondering who would be the most use in this situation. Her husband was across the table, thus out of reach. The lady on the other side of Fairfax had not noticed the sudden silence and the gentleman on her other side was preoccupied with the partner on his left. But she was aware of the problem. Surely there was something she could do.

  She stood up suddenly enough to rock her chair back and knock it to the floor with a bang. Around her, there were gasps of alarm and a shocked exclamation from the hostess. But she ignored them and turned to Fairfax, who was sagging forward in his chair. She hit him smartly between the shoulder blades, trying to dislodge the obstruction.

  It was not helping. Perhaps she was not being forceful enough. She hit him again, harder. Still there was no change, other than that the man looked weaker.

  In a last act of desperation, she thrust her hands under his arms and hauled him from his chair, dragging him forward to shake him.

  The force must have been enough, for there was a huff of breath and the meat he was choking on flew across the table, knocking over her husband’s wine glass.

  The table fell silent, except for the sound of Lord Fairfax, taking in deep gulps of air as his colour returned. Then, the room seemed to come to life, everyone speaking at once. From down the table, she heard a genteel shriek of horror from her mother.

  Emma tried not to imagine the conversation they would have tomorrow and sagged back to sit on her chair. Or at least she attempted to do so. The seat she was aiming for was no longer there, for she had knocked it away earlier. She continued all the way to the floor, her bottom hitting the boards with a soft thump as chaos reigned above her.

  * * *

  His wife continued to astonish him. Another woman, when confronted with the sight of a man dying at her side, might have frozen in place. Worse yet, she could have fainted, or panicked, or got in the way of help, adding to the confusion rather than lessening it.

  Instead, Emma had stepped into the thick of things and saved a man’s life. Robert had not even had time to register the presence of a problem before Emma had fixed it.

  Best of all, he had not added to the confusion of the evening with another spell. The incident had begun and ended so quickly that he’d had no time to react to it at all and was left watching from the side in surprise as Emma had handled the situation herself.

  Now, they were in the carriage on the way home and, judging by her demeanour, she was not as impressed by her performance as he had been. ‘I think, for purposes of our outings, it might be necessary to find a new definition for success,’ he said, trying not to smile since the situation had been a serious one. But he could not help feeling an unexpected pride at the way she had behaved.

  ‘It was a disaster,’ she moaned, her hand shading her eyes from the lamp that lit their carriage.

  ‘No one died,’ Robert said. ‘In fact, you were hailed as a hero for saving Fairfax. It was very quick thinking on your part to help him. Several of the other gentlemen told me how impressed they were.’

  ‘The gentlemen might have spoken to you in approval, but the ladies did not say a word to me, other than to tell me that they never would have done such a thing,’ she said, wincing.

  ‘That is only because they think themselves unable to do something useful,’ he said.

  ‘And I did not know what else I could do,’ she said.

  ‘You could have asked for help,’ he mused. ‘But that would have taken time and Fairfax did not have it.’

  ‘I made the right decision,’ she said, obviously feeling no better about it. ‘I just wish it would have fallen to someone else. I do not like being the centre of attention.’

  ‘You will not always be so,’ he reminded her, though the words were likely a lie. Because of her height alone she stood out from the crowd of other ladies. The fact that she seemed to attract drama only made it worse.

  ‘I can hope,’ she replied. ‘But until that point, I am sor—’ Before he could stop her, she corrected herself. ‘No. I am not sorry. Not tonight.’

  He smiled, for it was the first time he could remember her not being sorry about anything.

  ‘I am embarrassed,’ she corrected. ‘But I will not take the blame for the fact that Lord Fairfax ate too fast. He admitted so himself when speaking to me later and promises to be more careful in the future.’

  ‘That is probably wise of him,’ Robert agreed.

  ‘I am sure the next time we go out, it will be without incident,’ she said, looking more optimistic than before.

  ‘The next time,’ he agreed, surprised. A part of him had assumed that, if he yielded one more time, the matter would be settled. But now that they had been out twice without permanent harm, why not three times, or more? Now that he was married, it seemed like some type of social life was inevitable.

  Emma gave a vast sigh of relief at his agreement and smiled at him from across the carriage.

  At the sight of it, he felt another bit of the ice in his heart melting away. They were only a mile or so from home, too close to get into any real trouble, but far enough to give them time alone, together. He held his hand out to her.

  She climbed across the carriage and settled into his lap to kiss him.

  * * *

  The next morning, Emma woke, smiling. Despite the incident at dinner, the evening had ended better than she’d ever hoped it would. Not only had Robert agreed to more outings, they had cuddled on the carriage ride home, passing the time with soft kisses and gentle caresses. She had been sad when they’d arrived at the house and he had sent her to bed alone. But it was a sweet melancholy compared to the cold loneliness of the first nights of her marriage.

  She felt even better when she went downstairs and received a steady string of morning calls from the ladies who had not dared to speak to her on the previous evening, all wanting to hear the details of her daring rescue of Lord Fairfax.

  She told them as best she could, not wanting to embellish the story, which was, in truth, a simple act of instinct on her part.

  Each of them listened, wide-eyed, and declared it the most daring thing in the world and Emma the bravest woman they had ever met.

  It was embarrassing, but in a far different way than she was used to. She had been expecting a visit from her mother who would shame her for behaving outside the norm, yet again. But it was surprising to get such fulsome praise from others. And even more surprising that what she had feared would be a faux pas was resulting in more invitations as if the hostesses were eager to see what miracle she might perform next.

  Hesitantly, she accepted. Though he had agreed to more outings last night, she was not sure her husband wanted her to make so many plans so soon. But the previous evening he had seemed as impressed as these ladies at her ability to handle a crisis. Perhaps he would trust her to do it again, should the occasion for dramatic action present itself.

  * * *

  When the tide of guests abated and Emma had
shown the last of the ladies to the door, the butler stopped her to announce that she had one more visitor, still waiting.

  ‘I do.’ It was likely the expected visit from her mother. At least she would be able to assure her that the evening had not been the disaster that it appeared. If the past two hours were an indication, she was now a social success.

  The butler presented a calling card on a silver salver and announced, ‘Mrs John Gascoyne.’

  ‘Robert’s, I mean, our sister-in-law,’ Emma said cautiously.

  The butler’s head inclined a fraction on an inch. ‘She did not want to interrupt your other callers and is waiting in the green salon.’

  It was an excellent choice if one wished to display the opulence of Gascoyne Manor. The room was named for the colour of the carved marble fireplace that dominated one wall. It was even better if one did not want to see or be seen by the master of the house for it was on the opposite end of the ground floor from his study. She hurried down the hall to greet her guest.

  The butler announced Emma and the other lady turned to greet her, an embarrassed look upon her face. ‘I hope you do not mind my arriving without invitation, Lady Gascoyne. But at least we managed to be introduced before I did it. If it weren’t for the meeting at the festival, I fear our husbands would never allow us to meet at all. They do not get along, you know.’

  ‘I was not aware of it until recently,’ Emma said, reaching to take her hand. ‘But I do not think that, whatever the problem is, it should matter between the two of us. Now that you have come, know you are as welcome in this house as you are in your own. Please, call me Emma.’

  ‘And you must call me Lucy,’ the other woman replied, staring around the room in wonder. ‘Jack was raised here, but he never told me the house was so grand.’

  Emma was surprised. ‘You have never been here? But your family lives scant miles away.’

  ‘We were never invited,’ Lucy said, with a half-smile. ‘His grandfather was as reclusive as Sir Robert is and must have been a tartar. Jack did not have the nerve to sneak us in and back then he was quite the most daring boy I’d ever met.’

  ‘And his grandfather was the only one to live here, caring for a boy without help?’ she asked.

  ‘There was a series of governesses and tutors, but none of them stayed for long. While he still lived, their father remained in the city,’ Lucy said, a cloud passing over her face. ‘It was to be nearer the gaming hells. Even before, he had little time for his family if there was a game in play.’

  ‘Robert mentioned something about a suicide,’ Emma added cautiously.

  ‘From what I have been able to gather, it happened shortly after the children were taken away,’ she said.

  Which led her to the question she really wanted to ask. ‘And when they were young, did your husband notice any problems with his brother’s health?’

  Lucy gave a knowing nod. ‘We heard of the difficulty he had after we had left the festival. Is he feeling more himself again?’

  ‘Much better, thank you,’ Emma replied, looking nervously in the direction of the hall. Though Robert seemed fine, she suspected he would not like to be the topic of conversation.

  Lucy glanced to the door as well. ‘When they were still in the care of their father, I was given to understand that they were often left alone in their rooms, without even a servant to see that they were fed and cared for. It was very hard on both the boys, but mostly so on Robert, who was older and felt responsible. The worry seemed to affect him physically.’

  ‘How terrible,’ she whispered, imagining the two small boys, hungry and alone, and Robert trying to solve the problem.

  ‘But then their grandfather took them in and everything changed,’ Lucy said with a sigh.

  ‘He separated them,’ Emma said. ‘Robert was sent away to school and trained up to take the place of his grandfather.’

  ‘Though they were thick as thieves at one time, Jack barely knows him any more.’ Lucy’s face darkened again. ‘I understand from my husband that your husband can be a somewhat difficult man.’

  ‘Difficult,’ Emma said, puzzling over the word. ‘I think complex would be a better word to describe him.’ And confusing in ways that she did not want to discuss with a woman who was still a stranger to her.

  ‘That gives me some hope,’ the other woman said, ‘that this estrangement between them is based on misunderstanding. I think he still views Jack as a child in need of protection.’

  ‘Robert has said that he was very worried for Major Gascoyne’s safety, when he was at war.’ And now that she had seen what happened to him when he worried about others, she could imagine how difficult it had been for him.

  Lucy seemed surprised at this. ‘He tried to prevent Jack from going by denying him the money.’

  Emma nodded, easily imagining Robert trying to rule over a grown man with dictums and ultimatums. Then, she asked, ‘Has your husband spoken of a family curse or inherited bad luck?’

  Lucy shook her head. ‘He is prone to melancholy. But he has been far more likely to curse the good luck that kept him safe during the war and failed to protect his comrades. He has said nothing about problems in the family beyond the fact that the Gascoynes can be unreasonable and hard to deal with.’

  ‘They both have their dark moods,’ Emma said thoughtfully. ‘And they care for the safety of others, more often then they think of themselves. I suspect that is why they have had trouble getting long. They are too much alike.’

  ‘Possibly true,’ Lucy said.

  ‘And what would you say if we could get the two to reconcile?’

  The other woman looked at her with wide eyes. ‘I would think it a prodigious feat, should we accomplish it. But I think it would do my husband’s heart good to believe that he had a brother living nearby and not a stranger.’

  ‘And mine as well,’ she said. ‘Robert has been too much alone, these last years.’

  There was the sound of footsteps in the hall, and Robert appeared in the doorway, his expression curiously blank. ‘I did not know you were still entertaining visitors.’

  Was that a warning that she had had too many morning callers? If so, she ignored it. ‘Yes,’ Emma said with what she hoped was an innocent smile. ‘But only a member of the family.’

  ‘Mrs Gascoyne,’ he said, offering a deep and sombre bow.

  Before he could question her presence there, Emma lied, ‘After the delightful meeting at the festival, it only made sense to invite her to call on us.’ She paused, waiting to see his reaction.

  ‘Of course.’ It seemed that he was not going to contradict her but it was clear, from the stiffness of his posture, that he wished to.

  ‘Good morning, Sir Robert,’ Lucy replied, not bothering to correct Emma’s fib.

  ‘We were discussing a gathering to celebrate our marriages,’ Emma supplied quickly.

  ‘Your mother’s ball,’ Robert replied, his frown deepening.

  ‘I am sure she would enjoy it,’ Emma agreed. ‘But I was not planning it with her in mind.’ Actually, she had not even considered something so elaborate as a ball. But now that her husband had mentioned it, it would be rude to retract the suggestion. She continued. ‘With both Gascoyne brothers being married within months of each other, I see no reason why we should not do something to celebrate the unions.’

  He raised an eyebrow. ‘You can see no reason.’

  ‘None that I would care to discuss,’ she said, cutting her eyes to the woman next to her.

  ‘We would be most honoured to be your guests,’ her new friend said with a smile. ‘But there will be much planning to be done before such a thing can happen.’

  ‘It might take months,’ Emma said, giving Robert a conciliatory look. ‘It might not even be possible, this season. But perhaps you and Major Gascoyne can come to dinner tomorrow so we might discuss it.’
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br />   She did not have to look in the direction of her husband to know that he was angry. It was as if she could feel the heat rolling off him.

  ‘That will be delightful,’ Lucy said, rising to go. ‘I will tell my husband of your plan and we will join you tomorrow.’

  ‘And I shall search my social calendar for open dates,’ Emma said, walking her to the door.

  When she returned to the morning room, her husband was waiting there for her.

  ‘You know my feelings on entertaining,’ he said with a dark look.

  ‘It is one thing to be against a major entertainment...’

  ‘Like a ball,’ he said.

  ‘Which we have no firm plans for,’ she added. ‘But you have given me no specific prohibition about inviting family into the house for dinner. And I did not think you worried about suffering an attack in front of someone you have known your entire life.’

  ‘You know that my brother and I do not get along,’ he said.

  ‘And how was I to know that?’ she asked. ‘You have been neighbours with your brother’s wife’s family for quite some time. But at the festival, you needed to be introduced to your own sister-in-law as if she was a stranger.’

  ‘Because the festival was the first time I had seen her, since her marriage,’ he said.

  ‘Your brother did not come to get your blessing?’ she said, surprised.

  ‘It is not required that he do so,’ Robert said. ‘He is a grown man and not a child.’

  ‘It is not a matter of obligation, it is a matter of affection,’ she said, shaking her head.

  ‘There was no time before the decision, even if he’d wanted to tell me. His wedding was the result of an elopement,’ Robert replied.

  ‘And since?’

  ‘I may have said something on our last meeting to make him think he was not welcome to return,’ Robert said, his eyes refusing to meet hers.

  ‘And what would that have been?’ she asked.