by Kayla, Mia
When I yanked back my hand, slipped my purse over my shoulder, and walked to the door, he yelled out, “Charlie, I love you!”
I heard the wretched brokenness in his tone, and it hit me directly in the chest. I gripped my purse strap tighter and turned to face him.
I wanted to tell him that these months had been the best months of my life. I wanted to tell him that he’d made me believe in myself again, in my ability to paint and create and have faith that others would enjoy my art. When my father had died, it’d seemed that all I’d worked hard for and done according to my craft was pushed to the side, where it wasn’t admired or sometimes even acknowledged.
I wanted to tell him that I’d never felt a love like his, and I’d never been this in love before, where my insides wanted to burst from elation from being loved by him and able to love him.
But love was unconditional. I knew this. I had grown up in a household that taught me this, and as our eyes locked, a deep, overwhelming sadness began to take over.
“And you know I love you too. But you have to stop saying those things because …” My tear ducts welled up with tears, and I blinked up to the ceiling, hoping they wouldn’t fall. “Because I know you love me, but you, right here, are telling me, I love you, Charlie, but you’re not enough to stay.”
The tears fell anyway. When I turned and placed my hand on the doorknob to leave, Connor called out to me, and by the choked way he uttered my name, I knew he was crying too.
He’d already made his decision to leave.
And I wasn’t going to help him pack up and do it.
I had more self-esteem and self-worth to know that I was enough. I might not be enough for Connor Colby, but I would be enough for someone else. I’d be enough for someone else to stay.
Connor
The next day, I was not a joy to be around. I’d packed up my office. Weirdly, being here for only a few months, I had boxes of stuff to bring to New York.
I peeked up when Kyle strolled in.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
“I heard World War III happened in the boardroom.”
There was an edge to my laugh. “Yeah, not my proudest moment.”
Looking back in hindsight, I wished I could have held back my temper a little bit. There had been a lot of F-bombs dropped in front of the other board members, which wasn’t exactly professional.
Kyle plopped down in his regular spot in front of my desk. “Mom and Nana gave Dad a little beating with words.”
You would think that would give me satisfaction, but it didn’t.
“So, you’re really leaving.” Kyle picked up my stapler, as though he were going to steal it.
And I placed more files into the box. “Yeah … why?” It wasn’t like he hadn’t known this.
“I didn’t think you could do it. I mean … not with Charlie here.”
At the sound of her name, my stomach dropped. My eyes flipped to meet his, and I swallowed. “She knew I was leaving from the start.”
“You didn’t see this, huh—you falling for her?”
I shook my head, focusing on the task at hand, stuffing more items into the moving box, but seeing nothing, only witnessing her tears streaming down her beautiful face when she’d left my place.
I could have predicted everything else, like the fact that my father would reject any idea I placed in front of him. But I’d never predicted Charlie.
“I’m going to miss you, big bro.”
My eyes met his then. “You need to visit more. I have a few contacts out in New York who own a couple of retail stores. You can always move up there and see where your sock biz takes you.”
Kyle tipped his chin. “Nah. New York is way too fast for me. I like slow and leisurely.”
Wasn’t that the truth? I wasn’t about to lecture him that slow and leisurely wouldn’t get him anywhere.
“I’ll be back,” I said because there were always the holidays and Nana’s birthday.
“It’ll be different. It has been weird in a good way, having you back for a while,” he said, his voice quiet. His gaze focused on the stapler in his hand, opening and shutting the top.
I hadn’t been back home more than a long weekend since I left for college.
“But I’m not too worried.” He stood, placing the stapler back on my desk. “I know you’ll be back for good, you big baby.”
I widened my eyes, laughing. “What?” I motioned to the boxes in front of me. “Um, moving?”
“Yep. Wanna bet?” His smile widened.
“You’re crazy.”
“If I am so crazy, you won’t be scared of a little wager.”
I laughed.
Chapter 30
Connor
I’d invited Charlie to my last family dinner, but she wasn’t talking to me.
I hated how we’d ended things, how she’d left crying. I’d been calling her constantly, but once again, her phone was off.
We were at our favorite Italian restaurant, Toressi. All of us were seated there—my father, my mother, Kyle, and Nana.
Since I’d come home, I’d only had dinner with my family once. Oddly, it seemed like a holiday because that was the only way I’d agree to have a sit-down dinner with my family.
I couldn’t even look at my dad, still angry for everything that had happened between us.
Small talk ensued. We weren’t a family who spoke about anything deep. It was as though we were strangers, though we’d grown up together in one household.
It wasn’t until my mother said something after dessert that my head peeked up at my father.
“Connor … your father has something to say.”
She kicked him under the table, and I knew this because he jumped.
“Yeah …” He cleared his throat. “So, I’ve set things in motion and have given the marketing team a go with your concepts.” Pride was still heavy in his tone. It was the way he spoke in general, voice powerful, booming, even though he’d just admitted I was right.
I perked up in my seat. “Really?”
“Really.” He tipped his chin. “Everyone was in agreement that this is the approach we should follow as we take Colby’s into the next generation.”
I squinted, and the wheels in my head started turning. If this was a ploy to get me to stay, it wasn’t happening. “I’m not staying.”
“That’s not why I approved the plans. I’ve …” He ran one hand through his pepper-gray hair. For the first time, he couldn’t meet my eyes, and his gaze flittered to the table. “I’ve been stubborn in my ways. I brought you in to change the direction of Colby’s, and I wasn’t listening. I know this is the right decision because the vote to use the concept of family was unanimous.”
When he finally lifted his head, I nodded, feeling vindicated, confidence filling my shoulders, making me sit up taller. “Well, thank you. I need you to back this. I need you to fund the money to make this Colby’s biggest launch ever because I know it’ll be the game changer for this company’s future.”
My father nodded. “I will.”
“And Charlie had a lot to do with those ideas. I think she should be recognized at the next board meeting. I think you guys need to approach her about maybe joining the marketing team to lead the efforts of the rebranding.”
My mother nodded from across the table. “That’s a great idea. She really has an eye for things.”
Nana smiled beside me, motioning to me as though I’d won the prize in some game show. “She sure does. And that commercial seemed so real, so believable between you and Charlie. The proposal. The wedding. I’m glad you didn’t film what happened after the wedding.”
“Mama,” my mother scolded, but the whole table laughed.
“Why isn’t she here tonight?” Nana raised an eyebrow.
“I invited her, but … yeah.”
“She’s salty because Connor is leaving her,” Kyle added.
I stiffened. “I’m not leaving her. I’m leaving Chicago.”
<
br /> “I’m sure that’s not how she’s taking it.” Kyle’s smirk grated on my nerves.
I had no clue why he wanted to consistently torture me. He knew this wasn’t easy for me, leaving her.
“Shut up. You know nothing … bro.”
“Remember our little wager.”
I shook my head. “This is one you are going to lose for sure.”
“I’m five for five. I doubt my losing streak will happen anytime soon. I hardly make a bet where I have a chance of losing.”
“This time will be different.”
“We’ll see.” His tone was confident, so sure.
As dinner continued, all I could think of was Charlie. And I didn’t want to leave Chicago, not talking to her.
* * *
After dinner, I ended up at the pool house because I needed to see her.
I tapped on the door, and when she opened it, I swore I was almost knocked on my ass, just at the sight of her.
Her hair was up in a messy bun. Only in a T-shirt and shorts, she looked stunning. Her right cheek had a streak of yellow paint, and her paintbrush was in one hand.
“Connor.” Her voice was shaky, her face hesitant, but after a beat, she stepped back, so I could come in.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been picking up your calls.” Her eyes dropped to the floor. “I just … I wanted to make it easier on both of us.”
“I understand.”
Silence spanned the space between us, and I looked behind her to see a canvas with splatters of yellows and oranges in abstract form.
“It looks like you’re busy, but I couldn’t leave without saying good-bye.”
Her gaze flicked upward to meet mine, and my fingers twitched.
The need to touch her, to hold her, was unbearable, but I kept my hands by my sides.
“I was just beginning a new piece.”
She moved farther in the room, and I followed her in. After placing her paintbrush in a cup, she wiped her hands on her shirt, which was already covered with dried-up paint, and she turned to face me.
“I’m not really good with good-byes.” She pushed her toe into the carpet, her gaze flicking toward the floor again.
One.
Two.
Three long beats later was all I could take.
I stepped into her, forcing her to meet my eyes. “I don’t have a hard time usually. But this time is different. It seems especially hard to say good-bye to you, Charlie.”
Her bottom lip trembled, and I was determined not to make this a sad good-bye.
“I came to tell you that my father has approved the plans for our concept. The marketing team is working on it.”
She blinked up at me, her eyes lighting up, her whole demeanor changing. “Really?”
“Really.” My lips tipped up to match hers. “And … they want you to join the marketing team to make sure that our concepts are taken all the way to the end.”
“Wait, what?” She reeled back.
“Yeah …” I took another step toward her, needing to close the distance. “Why not, Charlie? Computers is not where you need to be. You need to be in a department that will spark your creativity. You’re at a company that you already love. Why can’t you be at a place where you also love what you’re doing?”
Her eyebrows knitted together, and doubt plagued her features. “I don’t know.”
I placed my hands on her shoulders, peering down at her with a confidence that she needed to feel herself. “What don’t you know? You need to have more trust in your abilities. You know that you want to say yes.”
She nodded. “I do.”
“You do?”
She smiled. “I do.”
Her words brought me back to our time on the lakefront, her in her beautiful dress, stunning, and us reciting our fake vows. Immediately, my chest tightened.
“Then, I’ll tell my parents you will take the job.” I pointed at her when she began to speak. “Don’t even try to talk yourself out of this one.”
“But—”
And before she got the words out, I kissed her.
Because I wanted to.
She sighed and melted into my arms, right where she was meant to be.
My kiss was soft and sensual, and I threaded my fingers through her hair, palming the back of her neck, bringing her closer.
The feel of her against me was heavenly, and I never wanted to let her go.
But when she placed a hand on my chest, I let her push me away because that was the right thing to do.
I knew it was wrong to want her, knowing I wouldn’t be here in the morning.
Charlie
We were breathing hard from that kiss. And I wanted to give in to him, but I didn’t think my heart could take it, knowing that when I woke up tomorrow and when I went to work, he wouldn’t be there. I had to keep part of me intact.
“Thank you.” I placed a light hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat thud rapidly under my fingertips. “Thank you for introducing me to Nui and for allowing me to believe in myself a little more. And for this new opportunity at Colby’s.”
He tipped my chin with the lightness of his fingertips. “It was really my pleasure, Charlie. And thank you for helping me with this remarketing endeavor and for dealing with my pain-in-the-ass self.”
“Yeah, I guess patience is my strong suit.” I patted his chest and took a healthy step back.
His smile faltered when I did.
“Connor, I wish you the best of luck in all that you do. No sad tears today because it was great while it lasted.” I smiled, but the words felt heavy with a sadness I couldn’t shake.
He let out one long exhale, and when he took a step toward me, I took another step back.
“It was more than great. You were my unexpected heaven in a place I like to call hell.” The joke was evident, but there was no light or humor in his eyes.
“Charlie …”
When he reached for my waist, I placed both hands up. “I have a lot to do tonight.”
I couldn’t let him hold me—unless his hold promised to be forever, which I knew very well that it wouldn’t.
Silence stretched between us. It was long and never-ending. My gaze dropped to the floor, and I wanted to cower into the floor and sleep until the morning and forget he had ever been here.
When he cleared his throat, my eyes moved to meet his.
“I should get going.”
I nodded, unable to form words, unable to get my next breath out.
I followed him to the door, and when he turned around, the overwhelming sadness threatening to take me under was mirrored in his eyes.
“I’ll miss you, Charlie.”
There was so much emotion uttered in his words that I had to choke back the sob wanting to escape.
“I’ll be back in the fall … Nana’s birthday.” His voice was so soft that I could barely hear him.
I forced a smile, knowing everything would be different by then.
“Good luck, Connor.”
“Good night, Charlie.”
I shut the door and almost ran to my bedroom.
That night, I cried myself to sleep, wondering if I could turn back time and take a different direction in that closet, knowing the outcome of today.
Connor
I woke up early, and oddly, the whole family was at my door to bid me good-bye an hour before I had to leave.
Well, shit, I wasn’t prepared for that.
Kyle had a box of bagels, and they stepped into my place.
My mother pressed her cheek against mine. “We brought breakfast.” Mom lifted some OJ.
“Uh … isn’t there work today?” I said as Nana and my father filed in behind my mother and Kyle.
“There is. But we are here to bid you adieu,” Nana said, lifting her signature box of cookies.
“There’s no need for everyone to see me off. I have a car coming at nine.”
“We wanted to see you off, son.” My father’s words hit me in the gut.<
br />
“Thanks.” For a moment, my voice didn’t even sound like mine, so full of emotion. “All my silverware and cups are packed.”
Nana dug in her oversize purse. I swore she had everything in there. “I’ve got cups and napkins and a knife, so that’s all we need.”
I laughed. “Did you steal those utensils from Bagel Hut?”
She lifted a shoulder, unaffected. “We bought a box of bagels, so I wouldn’t consider this stealing.”
They made themselves at home and occupied my rented table.
“Well … thanks.”
“Mom and Dad would like to tell you something,” Kyle said, kicking his feet up onto my table.
“Way to make it awkward.” Nana snorted, opening her box of cookies and stuffing one in her mouth, crumbs falling down her chin.
“Your father and I have decided,” my mother said—but everyone at the table, me included, knew that she’d made the decision for my father and her—“we will ride this new rebranding toward the end to save the company, and if it doesn’t pan out, we will sell it.”
I blinked and then double-blinked.
“Well, I’m almost positive it won’t come to that, not if you put the effort and the money behind this relaunch.”
“It probably won’t, but if it does, all we will have left is what is in this room,” she said, smiling.
My breathing slowed at a memory then, one where I must have been no more than seven years old, where my mother held one hand and my father held the other and we were jumping on a trampoline.
I closed my eyes briefly, wondering if it was a memory or a dream.
My mother stood and extended a bagel that she’d spread cream cheese on. “There’s a ton of things your father and I regret. A lot of things we wish we could have done differently.” She breathed out a small sigh.
My gaze flickered to my father at the other end of the table.
“At the time … Connor, we were doing the best we could,” my father added, his gaze flickering from the table and back to meet my face.
I swallowed back a lump in the back of my throat because as I stared back at my father, I realized it was a memory. They’d thrown me a birthday party at one of those trampoline places. I’d dragged my mother out to the trampoline, and in turn, she’d grabbed my father.