by Kayla, Mia
Seriously, a man could only take so much. After leaving Charlie last night, all emotional, and then this …
I could’ve gotten on a plane this morning and never looked back. But like the saying went, Tomorrow is never promised.
“I’m sorry,” I said, all this pent-up emotion filling me up and spilling out. “I haven’t been the easiest through the years. I’ve been kind of an asshole more recently, to be honest.”
My father stood then. “There’s no need to be sorry. All we can do is move forward from this.”
His words hit me directly in the chest because he was right. All we could do was move forward or harbor all this animosity and never speak again. But what was the point of that?
As I glanced around the room and caught Nana’s eye, I realized that, yeah … my dad had been a shitty dad, but he had done the best he could at the time. He had given me his time when he had it, like spending my birthday with me in that memory that had pushed to the surface.
We weren’t perfect.
My father walked toward me then and patted my shoulder, bringing me in for a hug. “When you come back to Chicago next time, you’re staying with us.”
I nodded against him, feeling like a teenager again. I couldn’t recall the last time my father had hugged me. Just then another memory triggered. It was when I had gotten into an accident when I was sixteen years old. He’d rushed to the hospital, and his eyes had checked for any damages before he pulled me into a hug. The hug was brief because the yelling ensued right after about my reckless behavior, car racing, but the hug had happened. A shallow sigh escaped as the memory surfaced.
In front of me, my mother cupped her mouth, and her eyes shone with unshed tears.
Nana, being the dramatic grandmother that she was, jumped us as though we were in a hug bubble. “See, I knew this would happen. Food always brings everyone together.”
I laughed, and so did my father, who stepped back to look at me—for once, pride showing heavy in his irises.
“You did well, son. I know this is the total revamp we need. You did well.”
“Thanks.”
“We’re going to miss you,” my mother chimed in.
That was when Kyle added, “He’ll be back … don’t you worry.”
They drove me to the airport that day. All five of them hopped in the car to drop me off as though we were a family who did that when we so weren’t.
I hopped on my flight back to New York, and for once in my life, this dreadful feeling sat at the pit of my stomach. Usually, I was relieved, leaving, but I couldn’t place this new, foreign feeling. I got nauseous on the plane as if my body were rejecting the flight back to New York.
Chapter 31
Charlie
The next day at work was horrid. I couldn’t pretend that I hadn’t cried my eyes out because I could barely see out of them, given they were so puffy.
Casey brought me my favorite coffee in a venti cup to my desk. She gave me a hug without saying a word, and I was glad she’d said nothing because the tears would have been endless and flowing. If his name were mentioned, it would be game over.
Erica from the marketing team came over just before lunch. “Hey. I just wanted to come over and show you your new desk.”
My eyes flew to my hairline, and I cocked my head. “Sorry?”
“We’re working on the new specs this afternoon, and Mr. Colby said you’d join us. I think it makes sense to move your desk closer to our team.”
“Oh.” Goodness, well, that was fast.
I’d verbally told Connor yes, but I hadn’t had a full conversation with anyone else yet.
“Okay.”
“You wouldn’t have to move a thing. Just your files. We’ll have your computer set … oh.”
She slapped her head because I was the computer tech for this location. Of course, I’d be setting up my new computer.
“We can always have Tony do it. I hear he’s moving over after you officially transition to our new team.”
I shook my head. That would take days. “I’ll do it.”
She smiled and patted my shoulder. “What you and Connor have come up with is amazing. The team is going nuts over the new direction this company is taking.”
And just like that, the mention of his name diminished the joy in me, the joy of this new job, because without him, I wouldn’t have had this opportunity.
His flight had left this morning, but I missed him because his presence followed me all over the office. In the boardroom, in the coffee room, in the break room, especially in the closet.
“I’m excited.” I forced a smile to form on my face.
* * *
It wasn’t until lunch when the tears started flowing again.
“He’s a fucking idiot. And I told him that,” Alyssa said.
It was a simple thing that had set me off. Casey had emptied her bag and belongings, and among them was the book Sexy Filthy Boss.
I remembered reading that months ago and Connor catching me reading it. He’d made a flirty comment, and that was the beginning of the end for me.
Casey’s arms wrapped around me. “Men are jerks. We can form our own club. The Dickless Club.”
“And what a sad and lonely club that would be, and I don’t want anything to do with it,” Alyssa shot out. Then, she nudged my shoulder. “Seriously? She doesn’t have a dick, so she’s already dickless. The best way to get out of the brokenhearted funk is to jump on the next guy, get back on the horse.”
Casey scowled. “That’s so foul. And heartless.”
“Call me the lion without a heart.” Alyssa smirked. “Let’s go to O’Malley’s. I’m buying the next few pitchers and you’re drinking until you forget your own name. Trust me. In a few days, you won’t even miss him. Connor what’s his name?”
That night, I got butt-ass wasted, and then I slept over at Casey and Alyssa’s place.
But for once, she was wrong. Because even a whole week later, I missed him dearly.
He’d called me and texted, but I needed a clean break. That was the only way I’d get over this, get over him—to pretend like we hadn’t ever happened.
Connor
Life was different when I went back to New York and continued with my daily routine. It didn’t seem like a life at all.
Brad patted my shoulders, welcoming me back to work. “Hey, it’s good to have you back.” He dropped a stack of papers on my desk. “This is Roastery Coffee. Going under. There’s no saving this one. We’ve tried for the last few months. We’re in a liquidation scenario now.”
That sucked. My thoughts flickered back to my company—to Colby’s. I hoped they could pull through. I reminded myself that I needed to text Alyssa about seeing last month’s financial statement.
As soon as the thought registered, I shook my head. I had meant, my father’s company.
“And tonight, we’re going out. Do you want to come? Denise has been asking about you.”
Denise. A one-night stand that had turned into more than I could handle.
“No, I’m still settling back at my place.”
“Come on, bro. You’ve been back for days now. It’s a Friday night. Let’s go out.”
I huffed under my breath.
Did I want to stay in my apartment and try contacting Charlie, knowing that she wouldn’t answer my call? Did I want to watch TV and have every show play, reminding me of Charlie and her love of reality TV shows?
If I wanted to move on with my life, I needed to move the hell on.
I tipped my chin. “Where are you guys meeting tonight?”
“Club Vision.”
I groaned. A club? Oh, hell.
I straightened, knowing this was what I had to do. “Okay, see you guys there.”
It was a slow and agonizing day with figuring out that my colleagues were right about this company. I wished I could prove them wrong and find a solution to save Roastery Coffee, but no, unfortunately, they had been in the negative cash flow for years
.
At five thirty, I shut down my computer and took the subway home.
I opened the door, and the atmosphere seemed exceptionally lonely today, so I called Kyle.
“Hey.” He picked up on the first ring.
I dropped to the couch, feeling as though I’d run a marathon for the day, absolutely exhausted.
“I’m like your new best friend. Don’t you have other people you can talk to?” he said, mocking me.
But wasn’t that the damn truth?
I had been calling him as though he were my girlfriend, giving him the lowdown of my every damn day. I’d even called him to ask what he was eating because I could only ask, “What’s going on?” so much during the day when the answer wouldn’t have changed from moments earlier.
I’d stopped calling Nana because the last few calls had ended with, “Come home already. You know that’s what you want to do.”
“I’m going out tonight.”
“You should,” Kyle said. “It’ll make you realize how much more you want to be here.”
“Shut up.”
Because he didn’t know shit about it. This was me getting on with my life.
“Where are you going?”
“This club.”
“A good lay will mess things up for you; I promise you that. Get drunk. Do whatever you need to do, but don’t do that.”
I let out an exaggerated sigh. “It’s done. She won’t even pick up my calls.”
Maybe what he was telling me not to do was exactly what I needed to be doing to get over her.
“Well, your choice. But that’s one sure way to ruin any chance you have with your perfect girl.”
I closed my eyes and rubbed at my temple.
Perfect girl. Because she was. I’d never been turned upside down about anyone else before. If I didn’t feel so deeply about her, I wouldn’t have asked her to move in with me, knowing we hadn’t known each other for a long time.
“I need to eat dinner and get ready.”
“Have fun. Even though I know you won’t.”
“You’re an asshole, you know that?”
“That is something I can agree with.” Kyle chuckled.
I’d prove him wrong. I was determined to have a good time with the guys tonight.
* * *
I walked into Club Vision way too early. At ten in the evening, there was hardly any people. I’d been here many times before. The trance music played in the background, and I was already ready for bed, tired of a night that had hardly even started.
I ordered a beer and texted Brad and the guys. After thirty minutes, they showed up, but I was ready to leave.
We got a VIP table where the minimum was a thousand, which was a drop in the hat for us bankers.
They were talking about the deals they’d recently won, the commission associated with the takeovers they’d just closed, companies they’d just liquidated. There was so much joy in helping struggling companies liquidate, and at times, it felt wrong to celebrate that, even with the big commission check on our side.
I kept pounding it back, beer after beer, wanting and needing to feel numb, to force my brain to turn off, to stop thinking about Charlie.
It wasn’t until Denise sat by me that I popped my head up.
“Connor.” She hugged me, her hand resting on my thigh. “I’ve been waiting for you to come back home.”
Home? It sounded foreign, coming from her lips.
“When did you get back?” She smiled, and I noticed that her bright red lipstick was smeared.
“A week ago,” I said, tipping back my beer.
She was beautiful in a way that was over the top—her hair in curls that lay in the middle of her back, her V-neck halter top that didn’t hide a thing, and her dark, smoky eye shadow.
This had been my type a few months ago but not anymore.
“I called you a few times.” Her voice was high-pitched, almost whiny.
I wondered how I hadn’t noticed it before.
I knew she’d called, but I’d simply ignored her.
“I was busy.”
Busy working, busy trying to save a company … busy falling in love.
She leaned in, and her chest brushed against my arm. “I’ve missed you,” she whispered, closer to me. There was a subtle suggestion in her tone.
Her hand made it on my thigh, and I inched away.
But she only angled closer, her lips by my ear. “We’re going to have fun tonight. I can tell.”
Her fingers made small circles further up my thigh, and I flinched. She smelled of a strong perfume, and I wanted the fresh scent of summer, the ocean … I wanted Charlie’s natural fragrance.
Shit, I missed her.
If I wanted to forget about her entirely, this was the way to do it, right? Bury myself deep inside Denise and just forget, even for a moment, about the girl I’d left in Chicago.
But then I was smart enough to know that that fix would be a temporary high, and nothing would replace the real thing.
I took her hand and lightly placed it on her lap. All I could think of was Kyle’s words—and I didn’t want to mess things up.
I’d had one too many beers, and if I stayed here, there was a very good chance that, in the morning, I would regret what I had done.
“Connor …” she cooed when I stood.
Brad slung an arm over my shoulders. “Hey, bud, where you headed?”
“I’m just not feeling it tonight,” I said. “I’ll see you at work.”
The guys started to protest, but I was out the door, hailing a cab because I already felt like shit from my overhaul of beer.
Once I reached my apartment, I surveyed the area—my home. And I realized this wasn’t my home any longer. It was an empty vessel that I slept in. Home wasn’t in New York anymore. Home was where my heart was, and right now, my heart belonged to someone in Chicago.
Without hesitation and still half-drunk, I booked the first flight to Chicago in the morning.
Chapter 32
Charlie
I was at my new desk, surveying the layout of the day ahead. We were meeting with the printers to go over the new packaging. This morning, I had gone over the PowerPoint presentation a second time. The marketing team had fine-tuned my original sketches, and Mr. Colby himself had cleared them. Now, we just needed to present this to our printers, so they could start printing the new packaging next week.
I stood, stapling my stacked papers, when I turned my head and found Connor. My heart jumped to my throat.
I blinked and then double-blinked.
I was dreaming.
I had to be because there was Connor.
In nothing else but a diaper.
My eyebrows scrunched together, and I rubbed at my eye.
“Charlie.”
He pulled me into him, and my whole body reacted. Good gosh, if this were a dream, then I never wanted to wake up. He hugged me fiercely as though he never, ever wanted to let me go.
And I held him close, equally as hard, until I remembered he was naked, except for an adult diaper.
I reeled back. “For the love of all that is holy, what the heck are you wearing?”
“Adult diapers.” He shook his head, searched the vicinity, but I was in the corner office and it was lunchtime. “It’s a long story.” He reached for both of my hands.
“What are you doing here? Don’t you have work?” I asked. Shoot, should I be concerned?
I pinched myself and yelped.
“What are you doing?”
“Just making sure I’m awake.”
He laughed. “Charlie …” The way he uttered my name was so reverent, so sweet, that it made my heart turn over in response. “I’ve missed you.”
Self-preservation was a funny thing. I took a step back from him, and it was as if I’d slapped him in the face because he flinched.
“What are you doing here, Connor?” I repeated, my voice soft, almost sounding defeated.
“I came back fo
r you.” His voice was firm, his gaze set intent on mine. “This week has been the longest, most dreadful week that I’ve had in … in what seems like forever. And it’s because I can’t stop thinking of you.”
He pulled me in by the elbows, and I let him because my body ached for his touch. A stronger woman would have been able to stay away and resist, but I wasn’t a strong woman, not when it came to this man.
“Everywhere I turned, I wished you were there, right beside me, but I knew that was impossible because you were in Chicago.” He brushed my cheek with the lightness of his knuckles. “And I just decided … I don’t want to put myself through hell anymore. You were right, my brother was right, and Nana was right. I’m tired … tired of lying to myself. I can live without anything else—because I have—but not without you, Charlie. I can’t live without you.”
His breath was warm, and it coasted across my face, causing my stomach to flutter.
“Move in with me.”
His repeated words slapped me back into reality.
“We’ve discussed this. I’m not moving to New York.”
“No. I’m moving here, moving back, for you.” His eyes searched mine, and the intensity in them was so blinding that my breath caught. “Move in with me,” he repeated his words slower this time, tender, his gaze all-consuming, his chocolate eyes blazing.
“Isn’t it too soon?”
He smiled then, biting on his sexy bottom lip. “I’m a firm believer in the saying, When you know, you know.” The smoldering flame behind his eyes was overwhelming.
His words brought me back to weeks ago when we had gone over our original sketches.
He playfully pinched my chin. “We haven’t completed our work here yet. I want to finish the last sketch of that commercial—where it’s thirty years after they got married. They’re at a birthday party of their seventh grandchild. He’s holding the love of his life in his arms, so tightly but with the same excitement as though it were the first time he held her. He’s watching their grandkids play, the whole while thinking of how lucky he is … that this is the life they built—a life they built together.”