by Jen Silver
He will be getting a taste of it in Copenhagen. Last time I spoke to him, he had just been to see a film and was enthusing about another that he wanted to see. He was getting a phone too and I’m sure that will keep him happy for a while longer.
†
Jay walked through the living room quietly. But when she stopped to look at the sleeping boy, she realised a brass band wouldn’t have woken him. Smiling to herself, she carried on into the kitchen. The smell of coffee and frying bacon would probably be effective in getting him up.
While she was setting the table for three, Josh appeared, followed by Ritchie.
“He’s been out and done his business.”
“Good.”
Without being asked, Josh poured three glasses of orange juice and got the bread out for toast. Ritchie had gobbled down his own breakfast and sat by the table, watching Jay’s every move as she started to fry the bacon.
“Do you want to see if sleepyhead next door is ready to get up?”
“Okay.” He hesitated in the doorway. “Um, we stayed up for a bit after you went to bed.”
“I know. I could hear your voices.”
“Oh, sorry. We didn’t keep you awake, did we?”
“No. I was reading.” Not strictly true. Whatever words were on the pages of the book hadn’t got past her eyes to her brain.
“Well, we both think we should go to the cottage. Konrad wants to see his mum, and I want to meet her.”
“I don’t know that’s such a good idea right now. When I spoke to Mo yesterday, she said Charley had made it clear she wanted to be alone for a bit.”
“Why wouldn’t she want to see us?”
“I imagine she has a lot to process.”
“Like what? We’re her family.”
“I’ve no idea what’s going through her mind. But think of it this way. For twenty-three years, she has lived as someone else. And now she’s having to reconcile who she was before that to who she is just remembering she is now. We’ve lived those twenty-three years knowing who we are, but she hasn’t.”
“Maybe we can help by being there for her.” Josh clearly wasn’t ready to give up.
“Well, let’s eat first. This is almost ready.”
The doorbell rang just as they’d sat down in the living room with second cups of coffee, breakfast having been consumed and dishes cleared away.
Jay ushered Konrad to the stairs leading to her bedroom, miming for him to stay quiet while Josh went down to answer the door. He came back up followed by Tess and another young woman.
“Hi. Sorry to barge in on you. Have you seen the papers this morning?”
“No.”
Tess reached into her bag and pulled out her laptop. The other woman looked around, her eyes settling on Jay.
“I’m Alice, Tess’s partner. I thought a phone call would have done, but she wanted to see you in person.”
“Pleased to meet you.”
Tess looked up. “I thought you should see this. Shit, this story is just going to run and run.” She placed the laptop on the table and turned the screen towards Jay. “Some idiots have started comparing Char to Reggie Perrin. Even though that was totally fictional. All the questions: where has she been, why has she come back now, how did she survive?”
Jay looked at the heading of the news story Tess had opened for her to view. “‘Dead marine biologist rises from the sea.’”
“And then there’s all the stuff trending on Twitter. One tweet calling her a mermaid already has over forty thousand likes.”
“Is my name mentioned?”
“No. But I’m sure it won’t take someone long to make the connection with your clinic.”
Jay glanced at Josh. He was hunched over his iPad.
“I need to call Mo.” She picked up her phone, but before she could find Mo’s name, an incoming call lit up the screen. A number she now recognised.
“Hello. And yes, I have seen the news.”
Hilde’s voice, normally calm, sounded agitated. “We have journalists and television crews gathering outside the embassy. The ambassador is not happy.”
“No. I guess not.”
“We are preparing a press statement.”
Jay held her breath, fearing the worst. The Danes had agreed to let Charley go to the cottage but insisted on knowing the location.
“We will not reveal where she is, only that she wishes to be left alone at this time.”
“I don’t think that will satisfy them.”
“It’s the best we can do for now. I thought I should let you know, as I think they will target your clinic soon as well.”
“Yes. I have taken some time off and have let my staff know about the situation.” Ending the call, Jay realised she should have told Hilde about Konrad. But they had enough to deal with, so perhaps it was just as well she hadn’t mentioned his arrival.
“The Danish embassy is under siege.” Jay stood. “I’m going to call Mo.” She walked into the kitchen to gain some privacy.
†
Mo sat in the car for a few minutes, gathering her thoughts. Jay’s call had given her plenty to think about. How safe would Charlotte be here once the newshounds got on her trail? Someone would soon dig up an old news item, which might give away the location of the cottage. Jay was known in the village, and a few of the old-timers would remember Charlotte too. How long before one of them decided to make a name for themselves, have their ten minutes of fame?
Charlotte was looking pensive, seated in the conservatory, when Mo rounded the corner of the cottage. Jay’s other bit of news would be disturbing too. She didn’t know how the woman would react to hearing that her fourteen-year-old son had managed to smuggle himself into the country. Charlotte thought he was being safely minded in Copenhagen.
Mo took in a lungful of the fresh sea air, and breathed it out slowly before calling out, “Hello.”
Charlotte’s smile didn’t quite reach her eyes, and the dark semi-circles under them showed she hadn’t slept much last night.
Mo sat in a chair opposite. “There have been a few developments. The news of your survival has reached the media. Jay phoned just after I talked to you. The Danish embassy is swamped with journos camped outside.”
“Oh. They won’t….”
“No. Jay says they only plan to say you want to be left alone for now. But I don’t think that will hold the more determined reporters off for long.”
“Do you think I will be safe here?”
“For a few days, maybe. I think you would have been safer staying at the embassy.”
“I needed to get out of there. I have to find myself again.” A short, bitter laugh escaped her throat. “That sounds crazy, doesn’t it? I’m fifty-three, not fifteen.”
But why do you have to find yourself in an isolated cottage miles from the nearest police station? Mo kept this thought to herself. If Charlotte intended to stay, there was no point putting more worries into her head. On that score, she decided to keep the news of Konrad’s arrival to herself. The boy was Jay’s problem. Mo had already told her she should hand him over to the Danes without delay.
“Have you got enough food for now? I won’t be able to come back until next weekend.”
“Yes. If I run out I can go to the corner shop in the village.”
“That closed down years ago. I’ve not walked it myself, but I understand it’s a good two miles to Salthouse from here. And that’s the short route across the fields.”
“Oh, yes. I’ve done that before, many times.”
Mo could see she would be wasting her time trying to convince Charlotte to leave with her. She was determined to stay at the cottage.
“If you do go out, particularly to the village here, you’ll attract attention. It’s not like the summer months when you could blend in with the ramblers and twitchers.”
“All right. If needs be, I can survive on the tins of soup and beans in the cupboard. Oh, and there’s something you can take away with you.”
<
br /> Charlotte went into the kitchen and returned moments later. She handed Mo the jar of rollmop herrings. “I know you meant well, but I won’t eat these.”
“Sorry. I thought it was a staple of your diet on the island.”
“Fresh herring, yes. Not these long-dead pickled things. I never really acquired a taste for whale meat either.”
“Just as well. Not something you can pick up at the shops around here. Right, well if there’s nothing else you need I’ll be off.” She stood to leave and was surprised when Charlotte pulled her into a hug.
“Thank you for everything.”
Mo inhaled the scent of the woman, recognising the tangy smell of the marine-essence shampoo Jay used. She’d asked her once why she didn’t just use a regular shampoo. But even as she asked the question, she knew the answer. Simply, it reminded Jay of her lost love.
Driving down the narrow lane back to the main road, Mo shook her head. Unbelievably, against all the odds, the selkie had come back for Jay.
†
“Tess, slow down.” Alice was gripping the sides of her seat with both hands. Out of the corner of her eye, Tess could see Alice’s foot pressed against an imaginary brake. She eased off the gas pedal, and watched the speedometer drop to seventy-five mph. As she moved into the middle lane, two cars streaked past on the outside, probably hitting ninety.
“This is nuts. I have to be back at work tomorrow. You heard what Jay said. If anyone goes to see her first it should be her and Josh. But, unlike you, she’s respecting Charley’s need for privacy right now.”
Tess noted Alice’s use of the name Charley. She wavered between the childhood name she’d used, Char, and the more formal Charlotte.
“Maybe so, but I’m the one who can help her with any unwanted publicity. I’ve been giving this a lot of thought. We can record a carefully scripted message and post it on YouTube. That will pre-empt all the tabloids.”
“And make you extremely unpopular. I don’t want any part of this, Tess. We’re coming up to the Stansted exit. Drop me off at the airport and I’ll get a train back.”
“I thought you would support me in this, at the very least.”
“I can’t, Tess. It’s not ethical.”
“Oh, so you’re going to go all ‘cop’ on me.”
“I’m just saying you should leave her alone. Give her more time. That seems to be all she’s asking for. She doesn’t need you rushing in going, ‘Hi, I’m your daughter. Nice to meet you again. Now, if I can just ask you a few questions. Wait, I’ll turn the recorder on….’”
“Shut up! That’s not how I would do it. Give me some credit.”
“Tess, this is the exit. Slow down or you’ll miss it.”
With her eyes firmly on the road ahead and no intention of slowing down, Tess didn’t see Alice grab the steering wheel.
“What the fuck, Al. Let go!”
“I said, SLOW DOWN!” Alice leaned in, knocking her off balance.
A scream tore out of Tess’s throat as the car veered over to the inside lane, narrowly missing a lorry. The last thing she saw was the embankment coming to meet her before the world went black.
Chapter Fourteen
I am looking at the photograph album that was on the crate in the attic. A quick look round after Mo left showed that Jay kept all my clothes, books, research notes. My previous life preserved. I didn’t want to sit up there surrounded by everything. So I sit in the living room with the fire throwing out some heat and look at the pictures.
The first pages in the album show Julie as a baby, just how I remember her. I stop at a photo of me holding her with Jay beside me. Dougie took it. This is the last one taken before I left for the ill-fated trip on the RV Caspian.
The following pages are of Julie in various stages of growing up. As she progresses from babyhood to toddler, not much changes. At age six or seven, the little-girl look starts to disappear. A tomboy stage, I think. Nothing wrong with that. I liked climbing trees and playing in the woods as a child. But I grew out of it. Why didn’t Julie? Did Jay encourage her whims? Did she think she was raising a baby dyke, in her own image?
I should have been here. I wouldn’t have let my baby girl change sex.
Then I turn another page. I see a little boy beaming at the camera. It’s not just the haircut or the clothes. There’s something in the stance. As I turn each page, the transformation becomes clearer, more focused.
Julie, Jules, Josh. I go back to the beginning and make myself look closely at the earlier images. Barely discernible, but there’s no mistaking the way the child’s eyes reflect a growing sense of confidence. In the later pages, the joy of being alive shines through on the face of the young man I don’t recognise.
I close the album and leave it on the table. A walk along the beach is what I need to clear my head of negative thoughts.
†
Jay sat in the visitor’s chair in Mo’s office, waiting for her to finish her phone call. They’d agreed to go out for a late lunch after Mo got back from Norfolk. It was now closer to teatime. They would probably end up having a drink in Mo’s favourite wine bar, accompanied by a few tapas-style snacks.
The morning had been trying. Tess went off in a huff after Jay told her Charley should not be contacted by any of them. She hoped that the girlfriend, Alice, would talk some sense into her. Tess had certainly inherited Charley’s short-fuse temper.
Josh offered to take Konrad out. It was a clear day for going on the London Eye. After a bit of sightseeing, he thought they might see a film. Jay took Ritchie for a long walk and was wondering what to do with herself when Mo phoned to let her know she was back and that they should meet.
†
Tess opened her eyes. There was no mistaking the hospital odours. Or the fact she was lying in a narrow bed with a thin sheet covering her. The drip attached to her arm was another clue.
“Hello.” A woman in a light blue nurse’s uniform was bending over her.
“Where am I?” Her voice came out in a croak.
“The hospital in Bishop’s Stortford.”
“How? What?”
“You were in a car accident. Your parents are here. I just came in to see if you were awake yet. Now that you are, I can remove this saline drip. Less distressing for your folks to see you hooked up.”
“Alice?”
“Your passenger. Yes, she’s here too. You were both lucky. It could have been a lot worse.”
“Worse than what?”
“A few bruises, concussion. We were afraid you were slipping into a coma.”
“And Alice?”
“A broken arm. Some severe bruising where the steering wheel hit her. Lucky not to have broken any ribs.”
“It was my fault.”
“She says it was hers. You can fight it out when you’re both out of here.” The nurse moved the equipment away from the bed and held out a glass of water with a straw. “Make sure you drink lots of this. Just press the red button when you need more. Are you ready for your visitors?”
“Yes.” Tess sipped the water and waited. She was sure she would wish she was in a coma after Donna and Cheryl found out where she’d been headed.
They came in together, holding hands. As they approached her bedside, Tess could see in their expressions a mixture of anxiety and relief. The same look they’d had when she was returned home after her failed attempt at running away. She wasn’t fourteen anymore. They deserved to know the truth.
“Oh, baby. We were so worried.” Cheryl picked up one of her hands and stroked it gently.
Donna took up a position on the other side of the bed, where the drip apparatus had been. She pushed the hair out of Tess’s face.
Tess couldn’t stop the tears.
“Sweetie, are you in pain?” Donna asked softly.
“No. I’m…oh God, I’m so sorry. Have you seen Alice? Do her parents know?”
“Yes, and yes. But they’re on holiday in Spain. We said we’d call with an update after we’
ve seen her.” Cheryl smiled at her, reassuringly.
“She’s going to hate me. You all are.”
“You might be an idiot at times. But you’re our idiot.” Donna’s smile chased away the anxious look that had been on her face when they came in.
“But you don’t know—”
Cheryl didn’t give her a chance to finish. “Time for talk later. I’ll go and check on Alice and see if I can find out when you’ll be released.”
Tess lay back and closed her eyes. No matter what stupid stunts she’d pulled throughout her teenage years, her parents had never wavered in their love for her. She really was an idiot.
†
Windblown but happier, I walk back to the cottage with thoughts of preparing lunch. I might even have a glass of wine. After the weeks of confinement in the embassy, I’m enjoying the freedom of preparing my own meals and eating at the times of my choosing.
As I reach the patio, I hear voices. Although Mo had warned me of the impending media interest, I didn’t expect anyone to arrive here so soon. I hadn’t locked the door, out of habit, ingrained from living in a small community where no one did.
I step inside the conservatory and look around. There is nothing handy that could serve as a weapon. Hoping the intruders haven’t come armed, I venture through to the kitchen. I am not prepared for the sight that meets my eyes.
“Konnie. What…? How…?” I can’t find the words.
Konrad just grins and rushes into my arms. He is not usually so demonstrative. I hold him and look over his shoulder at the young man standing by the counter. The face I saw only days ago in the picture in Jay’s office.
“Mamma, this is Josh.” The words tumble out when he lets go of me. “We are brothers. And we came here in a car.”