“I’m so sorry,” he said again, but nodded and headed back to the car.
I sat in the backseat with Brock and ran a hand over his back as his sobs started to slowly recede. Gavin was silent. By the time we got to Britt’s house my rage had tempered, but it was still a sharp anger. Brock and I clambered out of the car, and I closed the door behind us. Brock ran straight into the house, and I heard Gavin getting out of the car. I turned and glared at him.
“Please, just hear me out. You don’t have the full story,” Gavin begged.
“No. And I don’t want the full story. I don’t need it. You didn’t tell me about dragons, that they were going after your pack.”
“They’re not. Not really. There are just a few rogue—”
“I told you, I don’t want to hear it. You should have told me. You should have given me the choice of knowing before you turned me into a—” I shook my head. I couldn’t disparage being a wolf. That wasn’t fair to Brock. I certainly wouldn’t dream of degrading what was his fundamental nature. I shook my head again, staring at Gavin as he barely made eye contact. I could smell smoke, burnt hair. My stomach roiled.
“This is the exact reason why I didn’t want to rush into things with you. I needed the time to know Brock would be safe with you. You told me he would be. You promised Brock he would. Now look what happened.”
“Kyle, it’s not like that—”
“Isn’t it? Brock could have been seriously hurt or killed. You get that, right?”
Gavin swallowed and nodded.
“What if the flames had hit the gas tank? You could have been hurt or killed. And where would that leave me?” I asked, my voice thickening as my throat began to close. “I’d be a pregnant, single widow who just lost my son and my mate because of who—what you are. Do you get that? I don’t want to put my son or my unborn daughter in any more harm. You need to give us space to feel safe again.”
Gavin nodded again, his gaze on the ground.
I waited.
He didn’t speak.
I turned, and followed Brock into the house, slamming the door behind me.
Britt and Kennedy fussed over us with hot chocolates, blankets, and tried to get us to pick a movie to take our minds off things. Brock squished up his nose and shook his head when Britt held up a rom-com, and did the same for comedies, dramas, and even cartoons.
“Want to play some games?” I asked as sat beside him on the couch and rubbed his back. Though he said he’d never play them again, I knew my son and I knew he’d never stay away from them forever.
“I don’t know,” he grumbled.
“We could play something you don’t usually play. Maybe something I’d be a good at.”
Brock let out a light laugh and forced a smile. “Okay,” he whispered. “Let’s play an easy game.”
We messed around with a game where you had to match colors and patterns, depending on what music was playing. Brock started to relax pretty much right away, and I was also happy to find it was helping me to calm down too.
“Do you want to talk about what happened today?” I asked quietly when Britt and Kennedy left for bed.
“It was really scary,” Brock said softly.
“It sounds really, really, scary. I’m glad you’re okay.”
“Gavin was really brave,” he said, and I felt my hackles rise. Had Gavin bribed Brock to say that or something?
“Was he,” I said, rather than asked.
“He really was, Dad,” Brock insisted. “He tried to get the dragon guy to calm down, even before the parking lot. He was in the crowd and booing me and calling me a cheater. He wanted me to give the prize back, and Gavin told him to calm down. And then in the parking lot, Gavin just got me in the car as fast as he could and got us out of there. He couldn’t have done anything better. You would have done exactly the same thing.”
“I would never have put you in that position in the first place, if it wasn’t for Gavin taking you there—”
“Kennedy would have. She likes games too, and you know you would have let me go with her. Honestly, Dad, it wasn’t Gavin’s fault. And Gavin hates dragons on account of his dad, and Cole’s mom said the dragon was lucky Gavin didn’t rip his throat out.”
That was a little more gory than I believed Brock should be exposed to, but I was intrigued by what he’d just said about Gavin’s father. “What did you mean Gavin hates dragons because of his dad?”
“Oh, well, Cole told me his alpha grandad was killed by a dragon. It set his grandad on fire, and Gavin and Cole’s mom had to grow up without an alpha dad. That’s why Gavin hates dragons.”
I noticed Brock had stopped calling Gavin “Dad” and a little bit of my heart ached, but maybe it was for the best… Maybe Brock needed to get used to not having Gavin around.
I bit down on my bottom lip. As angry as I was, as hurt, I wasn’t really ready to think of not being with Gavin. I just needed to space to think, to put Brock’s mind at rest that he was safe; that dragons were not going to come after him. Only then would I consider my future with Gavin.
After Brock and I finished our game, we dragged ourselves upstairs to his bedroom, both of us almost tripping on the stairs from exhaustion. We’d moved most of our stuff to Gavin’s, but his room at Britt’s still had most of its furniture. I guessed Kennedy hadn’t started on her plan to turn the room into a personal gym. I was grateful to find that Britt had made up Brock’s bed with fresh linens.
“Alright, Brocky,” I said as I tucked him in and kissed his head. “Sweet dreams, okay?”
“Okay,” he said, his voice a little broken. I put a hand on his chest and rubbed it softly.
“Just call out if you wake up, okay?”
“Okay…”
“Do you want the nightlight on?” I asked.
“Yeah…”
I switched on his old nightlight and he smiled when the video game character lit up. But when I looked at him again, I saw he was still shaken.
“Want me to read you a story?”
He bit his lip and nodded quickly. I grabbed a book from the half-empty bookcase, and then settled in next to him on the bed. I’d read almost half of a short novel before I heard his breath even out and felt his head grow heavy on my shoulder.
I slowly peeled myself out from under him and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek before I snuck out, leaving the door ajar. I’d almost put myself to sleep with the story, and I stumbled down the stairs even more clumsily than I’d climbed up them.
When I walked into my old bedroom I saw that Britt had started turning it into her home office. Where my wardrobe had been was an oversized desk, and where I’d had my desk was a bookshelf full of her crystals. At least my futon was set up with fresh bedsheets, but it was smooshed into a corner. I let out a sigh and collapsed onto the familiar surface. I missed my big, soft bed I shared with Gavin, but I had to admit it felt good to get back to my old bed. I kind of felt more like myself.
But when I inhaled deeply I realized I my sense of smell had changed. The futon smelled differently to how it used to… It smelled like a version of me from the past, before I’d been bitten by Gavin. My stomach turned… I was different now. There was no going back. No matter what, I was joined with Gavin in a real, deep way. This was the “real me” now.
I groaned and covered my face with a pillow. I was way too exhausted for this kind of existential crisis. I put a hand on my big belly and fell asleep, praying I’d feel better and more clear-headed in the morning.
15
Gavin
I grit my teeth and watched as Kyle walked away with our son and our unborn daughter. My wolf snarled and whined in an attempt to make me stop Kyle, but I remained stoic, pushing down my anger until he was safely inside, and then I got in my car, slammed the door, and smashed my hand against the steering wheel.
“Fuck!” I cried as I hit it again and again. “Fuck this!”
When my palm started burning, I slumped back in the seat, forcing myself no
t to completely lose it. It was okay. It was going to be okay. It had to be—I couldn’t lose my family because of a dragon shifter. Not again.
Once my wolf stopping snarling and simply went back to pacing and growling, I drove back to the homestead. I hated driving home without Kyle and Brock. I didn’t want to go back to an empty house, and I sure wasn’t going to get any sleep that night. I drove straight to the Wolf Lodge where Jaxon, Linc and Greer were still lingering after the emergency meeting.
“Any sign of him?” I asked.
“Linc and Jason have just reported a few scorched trees on the western border by the cliffs, and Steve has gone back to the police station to see if he can get his officers to do a patrol of the streets,” Jaxon stated.
“What about talking to the dragon shifters who live on the mountain? He might be one of theirs,” I said.
Greer seemed to think for a moment. “Dragon shifters generally have a strict code of conduct—each code is different between each clan, of course, and though many don’t adhere to our rules, most conventional clans certainly don’t go around starting fires or attacking innocents. This sounds like a renegade.”
“You said there was just the one, didn’t you, Gavin?” Jaxon asked.
“One adult, yeah, but his son was also in the gaming contest. About the same age as Brock.”
“So possibly able to spit fire as well. And there were too many scorched trees for there to be only one dragon shifter. There may be a group of renegades. If they’re getting closer to Timberwood Cove and attacking its residents… You may be right, Jaxon. We may need to run them off,” Linc said.
Run them off? I swallowed nervously, and Greer caught my eye.
“An opinion, Gavin?” he asked.
“I think it will cause more harm than good,” I said honestly, though my wolf didn’t want to hear it. It wanted vengeance, but I needed to speak from experience. “Retaliating might stir things up. Last time wolf shifters went after a renegade dragon…” I didn’t really need to add that my father had been killed, they all knew the story. “If the dragon who attacked my son is part of a bigger group, ones who don’t seem to have any trouble in attacking a child, then it could end badly for our cubs if they turned on us.”
“And if we don’t do something to let them know we won’t tolerate their tactics, they could still attack us,” Jaxon said.
“I agree with both of you,” Greer said. “But until we know who we’re dealing with, I think we should simply remain vigilant. Maybe take a few more runs and spread our scent through the trees to show a united, strong front. If they realize our pack and the others in Timberwood Cove are going to come together, then maybe the dragons will think twice before causing any more trouble. In the meantime, I can go and talk to Marco Shannahan of the Spitfire Clan. He might have some knowledge on who these renegades are.”
“Yeah, good idea, Dad. You okay with that, Gavin? Linc?”
Jaxon didn’t actually have to ask our permission to make a decision, but it proved he was a willing and compassionate leader who wanted to do right by his pack.
“Yes, thanks. I just don’t like the idea of starting a fight with a creature who can fucking spit fire.”
“I get where you’re coming from,” Linc said. “So yeah. Whatever you think is best.”
I released a breath, and then headed back across the homestead, walking fast with pent-up energy. I heard Jaxon as he caught up to me.
“Are Kyle and Brock safe?” he asked.
“Yeah. I dropped them off at his sister’s place.”
“And you? Are you okay?”
I clenched my jaw. “No.”
“Will they be coming back to the pack soon?”
“I don’t know. Kyle doesn’t want to put Brock in harm’s way.”
“And he thinks he won’t be safe here?”
“I don’t think he’ll be safe here. That dragon said he’d come after us, and he knew where I lived.”
Jaxon grabbed my shoulder, bringing me to a halt. “So why did you vote not to retaliate?”
“Because technically it’s the right thing to do, but…”
“But…”
“That bastard went after my son, my family. I can’t just let that go.”
“And what did you intend to do about it? You heard what Greer said, don’t engage.”
I glanced off into the woods. My wolf growled and threw itself against my chest, desperate to get out and find the dragon I wanted to destroy. Jaxon must have seen the look on my face.
“I’ll run with you. But if we find the dragon, you let me deal with him.”
It was an order, and one I couldn’t disobey. I nodded, actually relieved he was going to be at my side. I honestly didn’t think I could trust myself if I went out there alone.
We shifted together and bolted off into the woods. Jaxon raced ahead and followed an ancient, worn path our forefathers had used for centuries. I loved how it felt to run these old tracks. I always felt closer to my pack and the paranormal magic that made us who we were. However, I didn’t feel the calm I usually associated to these paths. Instead, anger pushed me to run faster, harder.
At the base of the mountain we caught a scent and dashed off through heavy scrub. Brambles dug deep into my fur and pricked my skin, but I was determined to get through, and I pushed hard. A trickle of blood ran down my foreleg as we stepped out of the brambles and into a burned out clearing. I glanced around and saw the bark of the trees scorched black, and the undergrowth reduced to dark black ash. I lifted a paw and shook off the soot.
The trees were still hot, but there was no scent or sign of where the dragon shifter who’d caused this fire could be. A growl escaped my throat and I let out a frustrated yelp. Jaxon looked at me, and then raised his snout to the sky. He took a deep breath and let out a sad, solitary howl of compassion. I joined him, singing out my pain into the night.
We sniffed around and scoured the area for any hint of where we could find the dragon shifter but came up with nothing. Discouraged, we loped back to the homestead, my head down, my thoughts on Kyle, on Brock and my unborn baby girl. At the edge of my house Jaxon and I shifted.
“We can look another night,” Jaxon said. “We’ll set up a schedule with our alphas and some from the other packs to keep combing the area.”
I nodded, but I couldn’t hide my despondency. Though part of me was glad we hadn’t found the dragon, another part of me was still fantasizing about what I’d do if I ever came face to face with him…
“Maybe they’ve gone. That attack on you and Brock would certainly have put them on edge. Let’s hope they’ve realized they’ve gone too far.”
“Yeah.” I doubted it though. The look on that dragon shifter’s face, the vile hatred he spewed… No. I didn’t think our conflict with the dragons was over. I said goodnight to Jaxon and headed inside my house.
The house was dark, cold, and empty. Without Kyle and Brock to fill it with love and laughter, the house now felt depressing and sad. As I switched on all of the lights I wondered how I’d ever managed to live alone before I’d met Kyle. I missed Kyle’s music and Brock’s loud yelling. I missed the sound of them as they danced or ran from one room to another. I missed just knowing they were there.
I headed straight for my gym, changed into a pair of shorts, and strapped on my boxing gloves. I gave the bag a few hits before my wolf saw the opportunity for release and took it. I’d just proven how unworthy I was to be a father, how unreliable, dangerous… What possessed me to think I could ever raise a child? Kyle had believed in me, but now he’d finally seen how pitiful I was. He’d never trust me again. He’d take Brock off me, my baby girl.
I growled in both grief and rage.
You don’t know how to be a dad.
I smashed my fist into the bag.
You’ve never had an alpha father to model yourself on.
I hit the bag again, harder, feeling the pain shooting up my arm.
Because you lost your father in
an attack by dragon shifters.
“Fucking dragons!” I yelled, and then I pounded the bag relentlessly. I huffed and grunted, smashing it again and again, unable to stop—not wanting to stop. Kyle would never come back to me now. I’d effectively lost my family, my mate.
Without really thinking about it, I shifted and lunged straight for the bag with my teeth bared. I sank my jaws around the thick leather as I landed, and I yanked at it until it split. I bit it again and again, my claws scratching at the bag and ripping it until I eventually stood among a pile of shredded leather and stuffing.
Panting, my body shaking, I let out a pained, furious howl, my heartache and anger so overwhelming it was almost ripping me apart.
16
Kyle
When I woke up Monday morning I checked my phone, just like I had every morning, and every night. Nothing from Gavin, but I had told him to stay the hell away from us. What did I expect? He was giving me the space I’d asked for. Even so, I thought I’d hear from him, even if it was just to ask me if I was okay.
Nausea rolled up from my stomach and heartburn kicked in as I sat up. My baby girl was letting me know she was growing. I groaned and dragged myself out of bed and into the kitchen to find Brock dressed and his school bag on his back.
“What time is it?” I asked, rubbing my eyes and peering at the clock.
“It’s almost time to leave,” he said as he tied his shoes.
Kennedy was rinsing dishes at the sink and she gave me a look that said, “I know, weird right?”
“You’re uh, going to school today, Brocky? You know you don’t have to, right?” I asked. We’d agreed he didn’t have to go on Thursday and Friday. I’d wanted to make certain the dragon shifter wasn’t going to hassle Brock at school, and a quick text from Jaxon on Thursday morning had told me they were keeping a watchful eye on both the school and the homestead. Still, I wasn’t certain.
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