“Did she send you out after me to ask?”
“Not in so many words,” his dad said. “She wants you to be happy.”
“I am.” Jamie grinned down at his hands. “I really, really am.”
“And this person — whoever they happen to be — you’re treating them well?” his father asked sternly.
“Dad! Yes. Of course I am.” Of his parents’ many reservations about the details of Jamie’s dating life over the years, he hoped he had never disappointed in how he strove to treat others. Surely, his mother’s lectures on respect and kindness had not been delivered with the notion that, someday, Jamie would be dating a man nearly twice his own age — much less that man’s wife too. But that didn’t meant those words of advice weren’t useful.
His dad nodded. “Good.”
Jamie had to fight down the urge to squirm with guilt. He didn’t like lying to his family, and omitting the actual circumstances of his current relationships felt like a lie. But he had no idea how to even start the conversation. His book was helpful in a lot of ways, but its clearest message so far was that, for as much guidance as it could offer, Jamie still had a lot of work to do.
Chapter 14 - Callum makes an effort to spend time with people he’s not sleeping with
Callum was relieved to welcome Jamie back into his and Nerea’s bed when he returned London in the first week of August. Jamie may have only been in Dublin and out of physical reach for a fortnight, but his absence had still been too long. As much as the quiet time with Nerea had been a blessing, Callum knew neither of them had expected to miss Jamie as much as they had. That emotional investment boded well for the future of their relationship with him, including Jamie spending a month in Spain with Nerea, but it was also hard. Missing someone was brutal, and arranging schedules so that everyone got the time together they wanted was difficult.
The morning after their celebratory reunion date, they ate breakfast up on the roof; Jamie had declared he’d missed the view. Then Jamie asked Nerea out on a date for the just two of them that night, which left Callum at loose ends. Rather than rattle about in the flat by himself, he decided to make plans with the people he wasn’t otherwise going to see until his press tour was over.
He called Thom to schedule one of their semi-regular pub nights, and then called Piper to see if she was up for an impromptu father-daughter day out. It was the sort of thing he’d never had time for when she was small. Callum carried his regrets, but skiving off other responsibilities to make time for each other was something he relished now. A need for mischief and serendipity ran deep in them both.
Today’s mission, once Piper had agreed to take the afternoon off work, was nearby London Zoo, for no other reason than it was close and neither of them had been in years. Shortly after one, Callum arrived outside the building of the graphic design firm where Piper worked with two paper cups of coffee.
“Where’s Mum?” she asked when she finally came out, swinging her bag over her shoulder and taking the coffee gladly. “I didn’t think she’d miss a chance to hover.”
“At a gallery,” Callum said simply. Although there was surely a way to introduce Jamie as a topic of conversation, he was vaguely aware that this wasn’t it. He was going to have to, and soon, but he wanted today to be pleasant and about Piper; Callum knew he had a bad habit of making everything about him.
“The Tate? For her show?”
“Something like that.”
As they strolled through Regent’s Park, Callum tried not to be conspicuously distracted as he thought of Nerea and Jamie on their date. The boy was asking for things, which was a pleasure and a joy. With so many ways their relationships could suffer from wild inequalities, every move Jamie made to claim what he wanted for his own was a good one.
“Tell me how you are?” he asked, refocusing.
Piper shrugged. “Better now that I’m out of the office.”
“You seeing anyone?”
“Daaad,” Piper whined. “Did Mum put you up to this?”
“Would I tell you if she had?”
Piper huffed “Can you not? Not everyone does dating as their chief hobby. Or as a spectator sport.”
“You mean like I do?”
Piper gave him a look that was so Nerea that Callum had to laugh.
“What am I supposed to do for a hobby instead?” he asked.
“Knit.”
“So I’m assuming that yes, you are seeing someone.” Callum pounced on the topic again as they entered the Park and turned onto the Broad Walk, which was lousy with tourists.
“Ugh. Dad. You don’t want to hear about it,” Piper said, gesticulating with her coffee cup.
“I am open-minded and your relationship has to be less stress-inducing than Devon getting married or Leigh having a baby.”
“See, you think that, so I shouldn’t say anything to disabuse you of that notion.”
“I promise not to tell your mother?” Callum tried.
Piper laughed and shook her head.
When they reached the zoo, Callum wrapped his arm around her shoulders and dug out his mobile to take a selfie. “Smile,” he said.
“Oh my God, Dad, don’t.” Piper may have protested, but she laughed and tipped her head onto his shoulder just the same. “Please tell me you’re not posting that on your damn Instagram.”
“But we look adorable!” Callum showed her the picture.
“Yes, and I don’t need thousands of gross messages on my social media when people suddenly remember I’m your daughter again.” Piper, of the three girls, looked the most like Nerea and the least like Callum; she was small and slender, with dark eyes and hair and dramatic cheekbones.
“Fair enough,” Callum conceded. He’d keep the photo just for himself then. Piper was usually sanguine about the periodic difficulties of being his daughter, but complaints about the social media implications he took seriously, no matter how casual her tone. Online harassment of women could be vile and the thought of Piper having to endure it on his behalf was upsetting.
He refrained from asking further about whoever it was she was dating. Instead they talked about Piper’s work, the boss who irritated the hell out of her, and a new project she was excited to take the lead on. When Piper tired of shop talk, they chatted about the programs they were both watching or the books they were reading. In all, it was a stress-free low-stakes outing. Callum knew his life would be better if he did more things like this. He was certainly going to miss her while he was travelling.
AT THE END OF THE AFTERNOON, Callum walked Piper to the tube for her journey home to Whitechapel. He hugged her goodbye and promised to meet her again for another outing, wherever she wanted, when he was back in town after his press tour.
He watched her go through the gate. His heart clenched when she turned around to give him a last wave and an exasperated look, the same way she did every time he waited to leave until she was truly out of sight. Having children had been one of the great joys and, at times, great failures of his life. Even after all of these years, he was still learning what it meant to be a parent to them. Fatherhood was hard, and the world too often encouraged men to meet the task poorly. He was still feeling introspective as he walked through the London haze to meet Thom for drinks.
It took Callum a moment to locate him in the pub. He was sitting all the way in the back, wedged in a corner booth and facing away from the room. He was hunched over his mobile. As soon as Callum came into his range of vision, he shoved the device into his pocket and sat up straight.
“Hiding, are you?” Callum asked as he slid into the seat across from Thom and pushed a pint over to him.
“Preemptively. From your groupies. Thanks,” Thom said, taking a healthy swig from the fresh glass.
“What were you doing?” If Thom was going to be surly, Callum was going to be nosy.
“Just giving Alice some advice.”
“Which one is Alice again? I can’t remember everyone you’re dating.”
“There’s not that
many of them,” Thom said, annoyed.
“No, but they end so quickly I can’t keep track.” Callum grinned to lessen the sting of the barb.
Thom refused to take the bait. “I’m not dating Alice. She was my assistant a few years back. She’s on her first film as director of photography.”
“She’s arrived then. Why does she need your advice now?” Callum teased for the sheer fun of needling him.
Thom sighed and pointedly ignored the question. “I haven’t seen you a lot lately. We should catch up.”
“That’s why we’re doing this now,” Callum said easily, but with a flutter of misgiving. It wasn’t like Thom to sound so stilted, do niceties, or skirt around issues, but all three seemed to be at hand now. “What’s going on with you?”
“The divorce is finalized.” Thom took another gulp of beer.
That explained Thom’s mood. “I’m not sure whether I should offer congratulations or condolences.”
“Yes,” Thom said.
“To fresh starts?” Callum raised his glass.
Thom gave a half-smile and clinked his own glass off of it.
“On that note — ”
“Oh God, what now?” Thom asked.
Thom was far too much fun to rile. “Jamie’s going to visit Nerea in Spain.”
“You’re fucking kidding me.”
“When I go on press tour for Diminished Fifth.” He couldn’t keep the wistfulness out of his voice. He was going to miss everyone while he was gone. His wife. His lover. His daughters. His friends.
“The entire month. While you gallivant around the world,” Thom said, disbelieving. "You told me Nerea was seeing him too but I didn't know it had gone that far."
“It’s not quite a month. And it’s definitely not gallivanting. It’s answering the same exact questions twenty times a day and then smiling for the cameras like it’s been the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“Have you lost your mind?” Thom was definitely still hung up on the part about Jamie and Nerea.
“It was Nerea’s idea,” Callum pointed out.
“In that case everything will be just peachy.” Thom still didn’t sound convinced.
Callum wondered why he cared so much. Sure, Thom needled him as much as he needled Thom. And his friend was having a hard day. But Callum wondered if his and Nerea’s relationship with Jamie was ever going to be the sort of situation other people could simply express their happiness for. “Nerea has far better judgment than me,” Callum said defensively.
Frowning, Thom passed his now mostly empty pint glass back and forth between his hands. “Yes, that’s what worries me.”
Chapter 15 - Nerea leaves for Spain with Jamie
The morning they were all due to leave London — Callum for the first leg of his press tour and Jamie and Nerea to Spain — everyone was quiet. For Nerea, this was nothing new. From the beginning of their relationship she had gotten used to being apart from Callum, but the knowledge she would be fine as soon as she was back in their house did not make her feel any better about leaving now. She knew Callum dreaded the separation just as much. He went about throwing last-minute items in his suitcase without saying anything and with a distinct air of glumness.
Jamie was similarly quiet as he sat in a corner of the sofa, his bag, packed back at his own flat, tucked neatly as his feet. Nerea wasn’t sure of the details behind his silence. Perhaps he was merely affected by her and Callum’s moods. But if she knew Jamie at all — and she thought she’d gotten to know him quite well in the last few months — he wasn’t thrilled at the idea of being apart from Callum. Besides, the prospect of a month in a new country, where he knew no one but Nerea and didn’t even speak the language, would have made anyone uneasy.
No one said much from the time they met the cab to the moment they walked through the automatic doors into the bright, busy, and overwhelmingly efficient interior of Heathrow Airport’s Terminal 1. Nerea frowned as a flight attendant rolling a suitcase behind them did a double take at Callum and then tripped over his own feet.
“Let’s get checked in and get through security. Then maybe we can find a quiet corner,” Nerea said. People were strange about fame, mobile phone cameras were ubiquitous, and people in airports were always keen for any sort of distraction. Nerea accepted that the three of them would eventually wind up documented against their wishes, but she wanted to put off that moment for as long as possible.
But when they joined the check-in queue, someone muttered to their companion, “Hey, is that what’s-his-face? I didn’t know he had a son!”
Nerea tried not to sigh audibly. The moment was perhaps closer at hand than any of them found desirable. Callum, with his head down and checking something on his mobile, chuckled. Jamie made a sound of utter dismay. Behind them, someone was making frantic shushing noises at the speaker. Good. Nerea pressed her lips together tightly to make sure she didn’t react to the particularly erroneous assumption at hand.
At the counter, there was a brief delay when the luggage tag on Nerea’s suitcase didn’t scan properly and another when Jamie’s bag was almost over the weight limit.
“What did you have in there?” Callum asked when Jamie, adjusting his backpack on his shoulders, finally joined them
“Uh. Books?”
“How many?” Callum looked amused.
“I’m going to be there for a while. I wanted to be prepared.”
“You know we have books at the house,” Nerea pointed out. “English ones even.”
“And haven’t you ever heard of an e-reader?” Callum put in.
Jamie flushed at the gentle teasing, but he didn’t look displeased to be the center of their attention. “I have one of those too. But there’s something about books. And I brought other stuff too. Like clothes.”
“I guarantee you that was unnecessary,” Callum said. “I doubt Nerea is going to let you out of bed.”
“Callum!” Nerea scolded. Yes, that was true, but Callum didn’t need to say it in public.
Callum shrugged one shoulder and held his hands out, palms up.
“I’m counting on that,” Jamie’s tone was cautious as he entered the banter. “But I didn’t want to assume.”
“You’re both awful.” Nerea was glad that Jamie was rallying a bit.
Callum pulled Nerea’s carry-on suitcase behind him as he always did when they traveled together. Meanwhile, Jamie hung a few paces behind them as they navigated the crowds on the way to the security line. Nerea wanted to turn around and tell him that neither distance from them nor deference was necessary; she wanted to grab his hand and draw him forward into her and Callum’s conversation. But if the three of them needed to discuss how they were going to handle their relationship in public, this wasn’t the time.
“How do you normally do this?” Jamie asked, when they had finally cleared security.
Nerea shook her head and led the way to a bank of chairs tucked out of sight of the main thoroughfare behind a pillar and a rubbish bin.
Jamie slouched into an uncomfortable seat across from Callum and Nerea, “The goodbyes in public thing.”
Callum glanced sideways at Nerea. “Normally, we don’t.”
“What do you mean?” Jamie asked.
“We’ve never both been involved with someone like this,” Nerea said. “Certainly not someone we’ve taken to the airport. People hardly pay attention to me or my relationships, and most of Callum’s relationships” — she made air quotes to highlight exactly how long most of those had lasted — “have been not worth the media hassle and/or involved people in sex clubs.”
Jamie’s eyes flicked toward Callum.
Callum gave a disinterested shrug in acknowledgment of the truth.
“So I’m a step up for you.” Jamie teased.
“It’s not a hierarchy,” Callum said. “A different set of feelings and desires. But yes, you’ve lasted longer.” How Callum looked so at ease as he lounged lazily in the uncomfortable metal cha
irs, Nerea didn’t know. She was only grateful he hadn’t launched into his spiel in defense of sex clubs in public.
“How do you do goodbyes when it’s just you two, then?” Jamie pressed.
“Discretely,” Callum said. “Especially since the time — oh, it must have been seven or eight years ago now — someone got a photo of us kissing at a gate and it made its way all over the internet before we even got off our planes again. Not world-ending, but annoying. It’s no secret that we’re married, obviously, but everything we do in public is not for the public.”
Nerea watched as Jamie pondered that. Which was good; he’d need that advice soon enough himself. No one should be forced to work for the public’s pleasure every time they stepped out their front door. It was, Nerea knew, a brutally hard thing to learn. She’d been by Callum’s side as his career had forced them both to struggle with it from the moment they’d met.
When boarding for Jamie and Nerea’s flight finally started, Callum pulled Jamie into a one-armed hug appropriate to men who couldn’t possibly be sleeping together. Then he kissed Nerea good-bye.
“Travel safe,” he told her, ducking his head close to hers.
Nerea replied, as she always did. “You too.”
“Call me when you get in?”
“You’ll be in the air.”
Callum smiled, sad and just for her. “I’ll still be here at the airport. In any case, I don’t care. I want to hear your voice again as soon as possible.”
Nerea took a deep breath against the surge of longing she felt at not being able to stay with him. As they went to the gate, Nerea turned to see Callum wave at them one last time.
As she and Jamie scanned their boarding passes and shuffled along the gangway, Nerea snapped out of her sorrow enough to notice that Jamie’s cheeks were red. “What is it?” she asked. She was still learning to classify all the variations of Jamie’s often intense, but not always transparent, emotions.
“He gave me a note.” Jamie held up a tightly folded piece of paper.
“What’s it say?”
The Art of Three Page 10