The Ex-Husband

by Hamilton, Karen

  ‘Yes, what’s wrong? Oh, sorry, hun, did you think it was a secret gift from Harrison? Shit. Sorry, I didn’t think. I didn’t mean to raise your hopes.’

  ‘No, of course Harrison wouldn’t give me a gift. There’s nothing going on,’ I say impatiently. ‘Did anyone else come into the cabin?’

  ‘Only if they crept in while I was dozing, which isn’t a nice thought.’

  ‘Are you absolutely sure?’

  ‘Yes, you’re scaring me. What’s the matter?’

  ‘Someone tampered with my gift,’ I say. ‘I didn’t get a pen or a bracelet, I got a watch.’

  ‘I’d call that a result,’ she says, looking less concerned. ‘It shows you must be doing a good job if Thomas values you that much. Shit! Is that the time? I have to make Gina and her mum look beautiful before tonight.’

  She rushes into the bathroom and shuts the door. I hear the cascade of the shower.

  I make a decision. I’m not going to run, only to be tracked down again. I’m going to act as if I have done nothing wrong, have nothing to hide.

  As I prepare for the evening ahead, I take care with my make-up and outfit. I will play a role, like Sam and I used to. We had no proper ending to our relationship, our ties were never cut. It feels like a step forward to now have an end in sight, a line in the sand, however frightening . . . Since Sam and I split up, I have drifted, aimless and fearful. Once I find out who my tormentor is from the cast of Agatha Christie-like suspects, I will convince them of my innocence. I will send them Sam’s way. I smile at myself in the mirror. Game very definitely on. I clasp the watch onto my left wrist.

  The thing that stands out to me about fear is that it isn’t all-encompassing, it’s like background noise, it ebbs and flows.

  I take the stairs, despite my heels. The bookshelves in the reading room are well stocked. There are plenty of books on sailing and yachting. Most tastes have been catered for and it appears to have been added to by previous guests, leaving behind their holiday reads. I like this idea.

  I place the scrolls of paper with the hen-and-stag-night quiz questions neatly on the sofas and chairs. The questions I hand-wrote got progressively worse and more cringey as I went down Mariella’s list.

  What is your partner’s favourite animal/item of clothing/part of their body/embarrassing moment?

  I stare out of the window. The sun has almost set and an inky blue stains the sky.

  ‘Charlotte?’

  I swing round. Harrison. He comes and stands beside me. The sun dips beneath the horizon. There is nothing but dark outside the window. He smells different now to how I remember from our evenings together in Val d’Isère. I’d top up his friends’ whiskys, brandies and Baileys after dinner. We would wait until everyone else was asleep or had passed out, drunk, then we would switch off all the lights and lie in front of the dying fire.

  I loved the stillness, the snow and serenity. Being at sea is similar, but with an underlying sense of danger, however calm the surface.

  The door opens. A crew member enters and begins setting up a bar in the corner.

  ‘Drink?’ Harrison says. ‘Do you still love mulled wine?’

  I laugh, pleased that he has remembered.

  ‘Yes, but I’ll have a white wine for now.’

  ‘Sure,’ he says, asking for one and getting a brandy for himself.

  ‘Cheers,’ we say simultaneously.

  ‘I’ve been wondering, how well do you know everyone?’ I ask, taking a sip of wine.

  ‘Fairly well.’

  ‘What about Garth, then?’

  ‘Nice guy. This isn’t his scene, not really. He’s a land-lover at heart.’

  ‘What about Gina?’

  He looks at me, waiting for an explanation.

  ‘I’m trying my best to make everyone happy, but information is thin on the ground. Thomas likes to “maintain professional distance”.’ I mime speech marks. ‘I’m hoping to get more jobs like this in future, so I want to make a really good impression. I would appreciate your help.’

  He relaxes. ‘Gina is well intentioned. She’s into causes, always getting Josephine to sign up to support something or other. Mainly animals, but human rights too. Garth likes an easy life – golf, holidays. He’s happy for Gina to be the primary earner.’

  ‘What are they like as a couple?’

  ‘Fiery. Whenever they are round at ours, it only takes a few drinks before the digs start. Personally, I couldn’t take the drama, but everyone is different. Neither one has called off the wedding yet, so I guess all’s good.’

  ‘And you and Josephine? What are your future plans?’

  He looks at me, as though trying to figure out whether to trust me or not.

  ‘I won’t say anything,’ I say.

  He reaches for my wrist and glances at my watch.

  Goosebumps prickle my arms. Is it a coincidence that he’s looking at the watch?

  ‘The others will be here soon,’ he says. ‘We should arrange to meet somewhere more private where we can talk properly.’

  ‘I’m not sure that’s a good idea.’

  ‘Maybe. Maybe not.’ Harrison leaves my side as Gina steps in, stunning in a midnight-blue dress and silver high-heeled sandals. She looks radiant and happy, just like I once was.

  ‘Nice dress,’ I say. ‘Gucci?’

  I don’t think it is, but compliments should be as close to the truth as possible.

  ‘Thank you. No, I had it made.’

  ‘Well, whoever they are, they have talent. It’s gorgeous.’

  I stand near the back as the others trickle in.

  Mariella makes a speech about ‘tradition’ and hen nights ‘all being a bit of fun, not to be taken seriously’.

  I watch. I watch them all. I watch Mariella as she drinks her champagne quickly and holds it out gratefully for a refill. I watch Josephine as she not-so-secretly keeps glancing down at her phone and replying to messages.

  Restlessness takes hold. I don’t like this feeling of being out of control, of waiting for something bad or unknown to happen. I decide to poke the bear. Any one of them could easily have a secret second SIM or phone. I get out my phone and type a reply to the last threat I received.

  Where are you?

  Four people look down or take out their phones within a minute. Josephine. Harrison. Gina. Arabella.

  The quiz starts.

  ‘What’s Gina’s ideal honeymoon destination?’ Mariella asks the room.

  Josephine is tapping away at her phone while people call out: ‘The Seychelles!’, ‘Bermuda!’, ‘The Maldives!’

  I see Garth look over at Gina when a particularly risqué question arises. He makes a face and she smiles.

  Norma snaps photos on her phone.

  I hold my breath, but nothing happens.

  Thomas opens the door, takes a look around and mimes a thumbs-up sign at me. I nod and mouth ‘All’s good’. He gives me another thumbs up. A waiter walks past him carrying a tray of drinks. There is a loud crash as the tray falls from his hands, hits a small, glass table and smashes onto the ground, spraying Alicia and Charles with Lord knows what.

  My phone vibrates. An unrecognised number.

  I’m watching you . . .

  I look up. Every single person in the room is preoccupied with helping to clear up the smashed glasses.

  Everyone, except Harrison.

  TWENTY-SEVEN

  Now

  Day Three

  Itinerary: At sea day. Free time permitted.

  Evening: 1920s-themed party. Staff attendance: Required.

  Nine days to Barbados . . .

  I am an actor in a silent movie dressed in a black-fringed flapper dress, wearing a dark bobbed wig. I am surrounded by gangsters and Gatsbys. Jazz blares. We are in the main lounge area on board the yacht.

  ‘You’ve done an amazing job with the hair and make-up,’ I say to Lucy, who is sipping a Grasshopper cocktail. ‘I barely recognise anyone.’

  ‘It w
as fun. Maybe you and Thomas can make every night a themed one,’ she says. ‘Everyone got into the swing of it. Well, nearly everyone. Not Josephine. She’s hard to get to know. I don’t expect everyone to spill the beans about every area of their private life . . .’

  ‘But it’s fun when they do,’ I interrupt.

  She laughs. ‘My lips are sealed. But seriously, the woman doesn’t say anything. She thanks me, is polite, but the time with her drags.’

  ‘I’m sure you’ll win her round,’ I say. ‘From what I remember you were always good at drawing out information from guests.’

  ‘Yes, I was good at that, wasn’t I?’

  ‘You were.’

  ‘What about you and Harrison?’ she says. ‘I saw you together yesterday, out in the sea.’

  ‘It was nothing,’ I say. ‘Josephine saw us too. Gave me a look.’

  ‘Yeah, I noticed.’ She pauses. ‘Do you ever think about meeting someone else? Moving on from Sam?’

  ‘The thing with me and Sam was that we burned so brightly together, nothing else compares. Sometimes, I fear it never will.’

  I take a sip of a Highball. It’s too strong.

  ‘Yet you knew he was unfaithful?’

  ‘Yes and no. He lied a lot, yet he was always credible. It’s hard to explain, but he had this way about him that made me trust him.’

  ‘What will you do if he is alive?’

  I like the fact that she is willing to consider the possibility, rather than totally writing it off.

  ‘Kill him,’ I say.

  We both laugh.

  ‘Seriously, though, where do you think he would be if he was hiding? And why would he want to disappear?’

  Is she trying to suggest that I am clinging on to false hope?

  ‘Sam had friends everywhere,’ I say. ‘One owned a superyacht, not as nice as this one, but still, a superyacht. He had friends in Liverpool, Manchester, Sweden, Italy – all around the Caribbean.’ I don’t mention JJ. ‘He always knew most of the crew on every ship. He was worried about something just before he went missing,’ I say.

  ‘You were still in contact?’

  ‘I wanted a divorce,’ I say.

  I wanted the money he conned me out of.

  Mariella comes over to compliment Lucy on her skills.

  ‘Amazing job!’ she says.

  Mariella’s dress is covered in shimmery ruby sequins.

  ‘I had it specially made for tonight,’ she admits when I compliment her.

  ‘Oh?’ I say. ‘Did you know in advance that there would be theme nights?’

  She gives me a strange look.

  ‘Of course. It was my idea. Gina loves fancy dress.’

  ‘I thought Thomas only worked for Josephine?’

  ‘Yes, he does, but Josephine and I are good friends. We go way back. She’s a social butterfly, kind and generous, but she’s not an instigator. An intimate trip such as this was just the absolute best idea I could think of to get the three of us friends to spend time together. It also being Alicia’s birthday was a bonus for Josephine. It’s hard to think of original gift ideas all the time.’ She lowers her voice. ‘Between us, Garth doesn’t like Gina going away on her own. He thinks she will get up to all sorts, that we are a bad influence. But she loves him so we must love Garth too. That’s how it all works, don’t you think?’

  ‘I guess so.’

  I look over her shoulder and spot what looks like Harrison and Josephine having a disagreement. Harrison puts his arm out as if to calm her down or reassure her. I move away and sit down at a table among the older members of The Party. In a mirror, I can see Josephine put her drink down on the bar and walk off. Harrison follows.

  ‘How are the cocktails?’ asks Norma.

  ‘My Highball’s too strong, but Lucy is enjoying her Grasshopper. Would you like me to order you one?’

  ‘Yes, please.’

  I approach one of the bar staff with my request.

  Norma is delighted with her Grasshopper.

  ‘Excellent taste, my dear. Minty, but nice. Not overly sweet.’

  ‘I’m glad you like it. What do you think of the trip so far?’ I ask.

  ‘It’s wonderful. The main thing is that Gina is happy.’

  We both look over to where Garth and Gina are dancing. They have barely left each other’s side all evening. I consider what Mariella hinted at – that Garth is the possessive type. He’s probably the person I’ve spoken to least.

  ‘Of course,’ I say. ‘I will do my best to make sure that Gina has the most wonderful time.’

  ‘Although, having rich friends helps,’ she says. ‘The fact that Mariella owns this yacht and has arranged all this is just the ticket.’

  ‘Mariella owns The Cleobella?’

  ‘Yes, and not just this one, either. You wouldn’t know it though, would you? Such a lovely lady, so down to earth.’

  Very much so.

  ‘And how about you, my dear? Are you enjoying yourself? Such a fantastic opportunity. I would love to have done something like you’re doing. Although,’ she takes a sip of her cocktail, ‘I’m sure it’s hard work keeping so many people happy.’

  Norma is nice, despite exuding an air of wanting to be liked and recognised for her past. I have dug into her background (as I’ve done with them all, naturally) and she ran a very successful stationery business. Dormant me wants to coax her to open up. I smother the desire. I swore I wouldn’t let the thrill of the chase take hold again.

  ‘I am enjoying myself, thank you,’ I reply. ‘It’s not as if I’m on my own and Thomas is very efficient. And that reminds me – I must mingle,’ I say. He won’t like it if he sees me chatting for too long.

  But in truth, once an event is underway, I am not needed. The crew are amazingly attentive, better than I ever was even at my best and most hard working. No request appears too small or too big.

  I take off my shoes and holding them in my hand, I go outside onto the pool deck. Light highlights the blueness of the water. I sit on a lounger and take out my phone. I message JJ.

  Working on a cruise. Will be in Barbados in just over a week. Would love to visit!

  I feel a twinge of guilt as I press Send. It’s not just a social visit. He has something that belongs to me. Before I returned to England, I took a detour via his house.

  I sit by the edge of the pool and dip my feet into the water.

  My phone pings a reply.

  Will be good to see you! JJ

  I hear muffled voices on the deck above. They get louder as I see the captain, Tim, and Mariella walk down the stairs. They don’t see me as they stop and lean against the railing. The lights of other yachts are visible in the distance, little dots of white. I see Mariella put her hand on his back before she turns to walk inside, in the direction of the party. She stops when she sees me.

  ‘Oh, hello, Charlotte.’

  Tim swings round.

  ‘I was just telling Mariella that there is a spot of bad weather heading our way tomorrow, a small storm,’ he says. ‘But please feel reassured that it’s nothing to worry about.’

  ‘Thanks for the warning, I’ll pass the message on.’

  It’s their acting normal that makes it come to me why the captain seems familiar. He’s the man Mariella was with at the racecourse. I wonder . . . maybe Mariella didn’t instigate the organisation of this trip out of the kindness of her heart and desire to spend time with friends. She did it to come away with her mystery lover.

  I look at her with fresh eyes and I can tell that she knows that I know. It would be useful to have her on side. She knows all sorts of things that she can now share with me. Starting with what Harrison and the others are really like.

  TWENTY-EIGHT

  Now

  Day Four

  Itinerary: At sea day. Free time. Onboard entertainment provided by yacht crew, games/cinema/yoga/mini golf. Meals: smart casual. Staff: Free time at lunch. Attendance required for dinner.

  Eight days to B
arbados . . .

  The storm is announced mid-morning. Through the portholes, I can see the crew tidying away loose items and covering up the deck furniture. The wind is already picking up. I am grateful to be cosily inside the conference room with Thomas, handwriting place names for tonight’s dinner and rearranging the seating plan. Thomas is a big believer in table rotation, it turns out.

  ‘There’s nothing more dull than for people to sit next to the same person night after night on holiday, especially if you are married to them,’ he says. ‘Variety is definitely the spice of life. Some of them, particularly Sebastian, don’t like it and may complain, but just politely ignore him. Personally, I think Arabella loves it.’

  I think so too. I smile as I place myself between Harrison and Mariella.

  The boat starts to rock. Gently at first, but I can sense what’s coming. The sea splashes up against the window. Thomas glances at me for reassurance and this small role reversal is pleasing.

  ‘Is this normal? The captain made it sound like a small bout of bad weather, nothing to be worried about.’

  ‘It’s his job to say that.’ I feel bad at the look of horror that passes over Thomas’s face.

  I don’t add that I imagine it is going to get much worse. I love storms. There’s something exhilarating about the roar of the waves and the anger of wind, among the sheets of cleansing rain. I love the smell of freshness afterwards.

  I am right about it worsening. Within half an hour, Thomas has taken to his cabin. The wi-fi is intermittent, which is concerning because it makes me anxious to feel out of phone contact with the outside world in case Whoever It Is strikes when I’m alone.

  I go for a walk, determined not to give into the nausea. It feels so much worse on a boat this size and I have experienced some bad storms in my time. I stand near the doors leading out to the pool deck, watching the rain fall and the drops merge and run down the panes. It’s soothing.

  ‘Beautiful, isn’t it?’ says a voice, as someone comes to stand beside me. It’s Harrison. I didn’t hear him creep up on me.

  ‘I love it,’ I admit. ‘Where’s Josephine?’

  ‘Lying down.’

  ‘I think most people are, although I think it’s better to keep upright myself. Are you stalking me, by the way?’