by Dawn Brower
Nash tuned it out after that. He’d thought he’d drank enough whiskey to forget about Leilia spending the evening with Percival, but his mind kept coming back to her. Would she kiss Percival at midnight like Gawain intended to kiss Jocelyn? That soured his stomach and he was starting to regret drinking so much. What the hell… He was already in too deep he might as well keep drinking. What did he have to lose?
He swallowed some more whiskey. It had stopped burning as it went down his throat several swings ago. A knock echoed through the room. He thought he’d imagined it but then it happened again. Nash sat up and stared at the door through a narrowed gaze. There was no way he was making it to the door without falling flat on his face. “It’s open,” he bellowed. It didn’t occur to him to wonder who had come to see him. Not until the door opened and Leilia stepped inside. What the hell was she doing there? What had happened with Percival? If he’d hurt her… Well, when Nash sobered up he’d make him pay for whatever it was he’d done. No one hurt the love of his life.
Chapter 4
Leilia stared at Nash as if she’d never laid eyes on him before. This was not her best friend. Nash appeared as if he was… “Are you drunk?” She shut the door behind her and took off her coat. If he’d been drinking heavily then he’d need someone to look out for him.
“I may have had a few swallows of whiskey.” He held up a bottle that was over half empty.
“Please tell me that wasn’t a new bottle.” What had induced him to drink so heavily? It was the new year but still… Nash wasn’t a heavy drinker. “Give me that.” She took the bottle out of his hand and put on the counter out of his reach. “What’s wrong with you? You’ve been acting strange all day.”
“Can’t a man drink in peace every now and then?” He waved a hand at the television. “Look its one of your knights. Don’t you want to see if he’s ready to be snatched out of the bowls of Hollywood?”
Leilia glanced at the television. Gawain Daly was definitely on the small screen and playing it up to the audience. He had always been that way. The man thrived on attention and soaked up limelight. Gawain was attractive. Definitely movie star quality and he used his gorgeous face and ripped body to get him in the door. The only reason she knew anything about Gawain was because of his attachment to Tristan. Once upon a time Tristan and her cousin, Sage had been inseparable. She still didn’t understand what had split them apart, but it was none of her business either. Sage disappeared around the same time that Gawain had set off for Hollywood. Sometimes she wondered if the two of them leaving town was related. “I’m not interested in Gawain or any of the so called knights. That trio was never one I wanted to get in the middle of.” That sounded a lot naughtier than she intended…
“Then what is it you do want?” His words slurred as he spoke. “Because I thought I knew you, but clearly I don’t.”
Leilia sighed. “Do you mind if I make some coffee? I think you could use a cup. I know I certainly do.” She’d need several cups if she was going to deal with whatever was bothering him.
“Suit yourself,” he answered. “But I don’t want any. Bring me back the whiskey. It’s all I need right now.”
Leilia walked over to the counter and set a cup underneath his one cup coffeemaker. She placed a pod of coffee in the dispenser and made sure it was filled with water, then pressed the brew button. She noticed the bottle of wine she’d given him earlier that day. At least he hadn’t wasted the vintage on his drunken spree. That wine should be savored and enjoyed not used to become three sheets to the wind. Once the coffee was done brewing she brought it over to him—black as he liked it. “Here you go,” she handed it to him. “Hot, dark, and packing a punch. Though not the same punch as over half the whiskey you have already imbibed.”
He sniffed the coffee and handed it back to her. “I told you I wanted my whiskey back. The only way I’m drinking this if you add a good dose of alcohol to it.”
She sighed and took the mug from him and set it on the table in front of the couch, then sat next to him. “I’m not feeding you any more whiskey. Why don’t we talk about what’s bothering you instead.”
Gawain’s voice echoed through the room and Nash practically snarled at the television. Leilia picked up the remote and flicked it off. She didn’t need it provoking him anymore. She was well versed in his dislike of Gawain, Tristan, and Percival. Those three shined in high school and Nash was on the nerd squad. He’d blossomed over the years and grew into a gorgeous male. She preferred his golden blond hair and light blue eyes that reflected with intelligence. Nash was a genius. He developed software that made him into a very wealthy man. He could afford mansions but preferred his tiny one bedroom apartment overtop of her cousins’ shop Serendipity Lane.
“What makes you happy?” he asked. “Do you want more than the vineyard and the winery?”
She reached up and pushed one of his long golden strands of hair behind his ear. He’d grown it out the past year and it was almost long enough for him to pull back into a small pony tail. Leilia liked his hair long. “Does anyone really know what they want? And of course I’m happy. I love the vineyard and the winery.”
“But don’t you want… I don’t know… More?”
“Do you mean like love and a family? Maybe even a house with a fenced in yard and a dog to go with it?” She shrugged. “Someday I would. With the right person.”
He was quiet for several seconds. “Sure. The right person,” he finally muttered under his breath. Nash rubbed his eyes. “I think I need to sleep this off.”
Leilia didn’t argue with that statement. She was surprised he was able to keep his eyes open or hadn’t gotten sick considering how much whiskey he’d managed to get down. “That’s a good idea. Let me help you to your room.”
“I can manage.” He stood up and wobbled a little then fell back down. “All right, maybe I could use a little help.”
She laughed and came to her feet, then reached her hand out to help him. “Let’s go big guy.” Nash was able to stand with her help. He wrapped his arms around her and they hobbled to his bed. Which, thankfully, wasn’t that far away. He fell more than sat on the bed. “Let’s take this shirt off.”
“Are you trying to get me naked so you can take advantage for me?”
“I’d never…” Heat filled her cheeks. Nash did have a lovely muscled chest that she had secretly admired, but he didn’t need to know that.
“It’s all right if you do. I don’t mind,” He told her. She unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off. “Would be a nice change actually.” His eyes drifted shut and he fell back on the bed.”
Leilia sighed and swung his legs up on the bed so he’d be more comfortable, then pulled the blanket over him. She started to leave but he called out to her before she got very far. “Don’t go,” he begged. “Stay with me.”
She stared at him and his eyes held something she didn’t recognize. It wasn’t like him to plead with her. There was a touch of sadness in his eyes she didn’t like seeing. “All right,” she agreed. “At least until you fall asleep.”
“I’ll take what I can get,” he mumbled.
Leilia crawled into the bed with him and rested her head on his shoulder. Something about it felt—right. It wasn’t the first time she’d done something similar, but this seemed somehow more, intimate. He wrapped his arm around her and snuggled her closer. “Love you,” he said under his breath. Then pressed his lips to hers briefly and repeated, “Always loved you.”
Her heart stilled briefly. Surely, he didn’t mean it romantically. Did he? Because if he did, then maybe fate stepped in and brought her together with the man she loved. It was about damn time…
Chapter 5
Sunlight broke through the window and landed across Nash’s face. He flinched as it seemed to burn through his closed eyelids. His head felt as if a ton of brinks rested on top of it and the little drummer boy beat a tune of unpleasantness inside it for good measure. He was regretting the whiskey. He tried to move but s
omething or rather someone was snuggled against him. Nash was afraid to open his eyes to find out if he’d made another mistake he’d come to regret.
“I know you’re awake,” Leilia said. Her voice was husky, probably from sleep. “Your breathing changed.”
What was Leilia doing in bed with him. What the hell had happened last night. A lot of it was fuzzy. The last thing he truly recalled was watching Gawain’s boastful ass on the television as he started drinking the whiskey from the bottle. “I don’t want to open my eyes.” His voice sounded hoarse and his throat was raw from his alcohol binge.
“That’s what happens when you overindulge.” Leilia chuckled softly.
His entire body was one huge mass of pain, but her laugh was music to his ears. It somehow salvaged his soul. “Wise words I could have used well before I opened that bottle of whiskey. Now I must pay the price of my stupidity.” Nash sighed. “I need coffee.” He also didn’t have any desire to move—for two reasons: he hurt and she cuddled next to him. It was both heaven and hell.
Whatever he’d done to deserve her at his side he hoped to recreate it. Usually fate wasn’t on his side with anything regarding Leilia. All right that wasn’t entirely accurate. She remained in his life—as his friend. He wanted so much more than that with her though.
“I could use a cup too,” she said. “I’ll make us both a cup. Stay here and rest a little longer.” Leilia started to roll out of his arms but he held on tight. Nash wanted to savor having her there as long as possible.
“Wait,” he said. “This is nice.” She didn’t say a word just let him hold her as if it was the most natural thing in the world. He opened his eyes and met her gaze. Her blue eyes were filled with something unidentifiable. “Is there anything I should know?” They were dressed. He didn’t have a shirt on, but she still had on her skirt and top. They couldn’t have done anything more intimate than kissing or hugging. He kind of hoped that they hadn’t done any of that either. When he kissed her, really kissed her, he wanted to treasure that memory.
“Such as?” She lifted a brow.
“Did I do anything foolish last night?” He held his breath awaiting her reply. He prayed that he hadn’t, but since his memory was full of holes he braced himself for the impact of his idiocy.
“Besides drinking yourself into oblivion?” She shook her head. “Nothing you need to worry about. Although…” She nibbled on her bottom lip but didn’t expand on it.
“Spill it Strange,” he teased lightly and ran his fingers through her dark tresses. They were silky to the touch and he loved being able to caress her even in this small way.
She tilted her head to the side and asked, “Do you love me?”
That was a sucker punch he hadn’t expected. “Of course I do,” he replied smoothly. “Why wouldn’t I? You’re my best friend.”
“That’s not what I mean.” Her voice shook a little. “Do you love me as more than that.”
He’d been afraid that was what she was asking. Nash didn’t know why it terrified him so much. Yesterday he’d been ready to confess everything to her. Now in the cold light of day it seemed impossible. What if she rejected him and told him they couldn’t be friends anymore? Should he take that risk? The rewards could be astronomical if she returned his feelings, but if she didn’t… He could lose the only person who meant a damn to him. Nash blew out a breath and nodded. “I’ve always loved you, Lei,” he said softly. “There’s never been anyone else for me.”
Her lips tilted upward into a unabashed smile. “I’ve been waiting for you to say those words to me. I was beginning to lose hope.” She touched his cheek. “I didn’t think you could ever love me.”
Not love her? How could she ever believe that? She was, at least to him, perfection. “I’ve been such a fool.” His voice shook with emotion. “We could have been so much more to each other. I’ve wasted so much time with self doubt. I didn’t want to lose you.”
“You could never lose me,” she answered. “Now kiss me already.”
Nash didn’t have to be told twice. He pressed his lips to hers and kissed her the way he’d always wanted to, and it was as wonderful as he’d imagined, no better than that—it was breathtaking… It was a new year, and so far it had been filled with revelations. Ones that were a long time coming, and that he fully intended to appreciate for the rest of his life.
EXCERPT: Better as a Memory
Dawn Brower
Prologue
Belle brushed her hand down the skirt of her black cocktail dress. The ballroom of the hotel where the fundraiser was being held was decorated in high style. She hated these events her parents insisted she attend. Her father, Wentworth Brennan, was a United States senator. She’d gotten used to attending the tedious events early on in her life. That didn’t mean she’d ever grown to like them. This one would be no different than any of the others.
“Hello, dear.” Her mother, Adria Brennan, leaned down and kissed her cheek. “I’m glad you were able to attend tonight. Has work been keeping you too busy to pay us a visit?”
She grimaced at her mother’s condescending tone. Adria didn’t approve of her occupation. Belle worked as an emergency room doctor at the local hospital in Castleberry. It kept her busy and she loved the constant adrenaline rush involved. She couldn’t imagine doing anything else. Her mother thought it was beneath her. It wasn’t being a doctor she objected to. It was not having a prestigious doctor in the family. Belle had a lowly position at the hospital without any real ambition to climb to a higher one. A different specialty would have been better, anything other than a general surgeon. It was, in her mother’s mind, uncouth. Her daughter should rise higher and do better. She came from one of the best families, and there were expectations.
“Everything is fine at work, and yes I’ve been busy.” Belle glanced around the room and spotted a gorgeous man sipping a glass of champagne. His dark hair curled around his ears enticingly, and his gaze left her breathless. He was staring at her, and her mother. At least it appeared as if he was. She could be wrong. With a quick glance she surveyed her surroundings. No, there wasn’t anyone else near enough for it to be anyone else. Who was he?
“Are you listening to me?” her mother demanded.
“Hmm?” she said absentmindedly. The man called to her on a level she didn’t understand, and wasn’t sure if she wanted to. He might make this evening worthwhile after all. She’d have to introduce herself later, after she made sure to speak to both her parents. “I think I’ll go say hello to father.”
After she hugged her mother she turned on her heels to leave. She didn’t want to give her mother any reason to keep talking. Belle had heard it all before. Why should she listen to her tirade any longer? It had been old before and now it was ridiculous. She loved her mother, but that didn’t mean she had to follow a path of her design. This was her life and she’d live it as she chose, not how her mother wanted her to.
Belle strolled over to her father’s side and waited for him to quit speaking. He turned toward her and smiled. “I didn’t see you come in. Have you been here long?”
“No. I arrived a short time ago.” She gestured to the room in general. “This is a huge turnout. What’s the cause this time?”
Her father was as far from a corrupt politician as one could get. He supported a lot of liberal causes that put the conservatives on edge. He was big on preserving the environment and cutting down this generation’s carbon footprint. It was one of the things that appealed to the voters. He was charismatic and had big ideas. Those ideas kept him in office, and they evolved with whatever he deemed necessary to the preservation of the country he loved. Sometimes she wondered what her parent’s saw in each other. They were two totally different people.
“This one is to raise awareness to a number of environmental concerns. There is also a few endangered species I want to bring attention to.” He grinned. “If you get me going on this topic you won’t be able to shut me up.”
“You’re enth
usiastic about it.” She smiled back at him. “I see nothing wrong with that.”
Her father was amazing, but he never had a lot of time for her. His causes always pulled him way from the family. She rarely saw her parents when she was growing up. It wasn’t a bad childhood. Belle had everything she could possibly want or need. Except attention from the two people who had brought her into the world. She’d accepted it, mostly. They meant well and they loved her in their own way. That was all that counted.
“Pardon me, Senator Brennan,” a man interrupted. He was glancing around the room with agitation. “I was wondering if you had a moment to speak privately.”
“I’m sorry this isn’t a good time,” her father stated. “Please set up an appointment and I’ll gladly speak with you in my office.”
The man sighed and shook his head. “I’ve already tried that. Your secretary said you don’t have any immediate openings. Please, sir, it’s important.”
Her father nodded, resigned, to dealing with him. “I’m sorry, dear. We’ll catch up later.”
“Don’t worry about it. I know how to entertain myself.” Belle sadly, did. This sort of thing happened more often than not. Perhaps she should seek out the gentleman who’d been staring at her earlier. His gaze had promised entertainment. She could use a diversion. After scanning the room and being unable to locate him she became resigned to another boring evening.
Why did she even come to these functions anymore? She should go home and kick her shoes off. Days off didn’t come around often enough for her to enjoy as it was. She’d already handled all the niceties by speaking with both her parents. In all honesty she could leave and call it good. They’d not bother her any more that evening. An appearance was all that was required of her. She grabbed a glass of champagne off the tray of a nearby waiter and downed it. She set it on a different waiter’s tray passing by, and grabbed another. She sent up a silent thanks for her parents’ belief in having plenty of wait staff on hand for their fundraisers. One was always nearby when a drink was needed.