by Apollo Surge
They lay side by side on the bed, kissing each other lightly.
“This feels so good,” Tyler said.
“I feel so close to you,” Johnny whispered. His eyes were fluttering shut, unable to brace himself against the shuddering desire that slammed through his body.
“I want to be closer,” Tyler said. He brought his hand up to Johnny's mouth, caressed his cheek, then slipped his fingers across Johnny's lips. Johnny breathed in the faint smell of his sex, then opened his mouth wide and began to suck on Tyler's fingers. Tyler smiled, and Johnny let out a muffled groan as he slathered Tyler's fingers with his saliva, anticipating the amazing pleasure that was to come.
Tyler took his hands away from Johnny's mouth and moved it into the deep darkness, moving his hand beyond Johnny's cock, farther behind, slipping into Johnny's most intimate area. Johnny shuddered and a long gasp erupted from his mouth. He bit his lower lip as Tyler slowly and gently circled his sweet spot. Johnny dug his fingers into Tyler's skin sharply.
“You feel amazing,” Tyler breathed as he worked his fingers deep into Johnny, preparing him. Johnny was rendered speechless as the pleasure was almost too much for him to bear, and soon enough Johnny was dripping wet. Tyler pushed Johnny onto his back and kissed him deeply and longingly. Johnny could feel the loneliness and yearning in Tyler's kiss, it was reflected when Johnny kissed him back.
“I need you Tyler,” Johnny said, begging Tyler to take him. Tyler was all too happy to oblige. He pulled Johnny's hips up and held his erection steady as he found Johnny's most intimate area.
“Slow,” Johnny said as he felt Tyler stretching him. Tyler did as he was asked. Johnny loved the feeling of Tyler entering him, of being one with him. His head fell against the pillow and he let his hands slide down Tyler's back. Tyler moved his body forward, making Johnny gasp with electric delight as the pain blurred with pleasure. Tyler was so big Johnny wasn't sure how his body was actually able to take him all, but he wasn't complaining.
Surrounding in warmth, passion building inside him, Johnny lost himself to the lustful desire that swam through his mind. He held onto Tyler tightly as the two of them made love, their bodies writhing together. They kissed and groaned. Their bodies tensed and sweet anticipation filled their mind. Bursts of orgasmic energy rippled through their bodies as they were driven crazy by each other.
“You feel so good,” Tyler moaned, “so tight.”
“Oh my God you're so big,” Johnny said, digging his nails even deeper into Tyler's back. Sweat dripped from Tyler's temples and sizzled on Johnny's skin. Their bodies were slick and hot, their minds cracked, their hearts vibrant. The two young men were on the cusp of pleasure and, while they wanted it to last as long as possible, they were powerless against the needs of their bodies.
Consumed with a burning desire, Johnny felt Tyler increase his rhythm. Johnny was shaken and slammed, sensations thundering through his body. The world shook and it was as though he was seized by an earthquake. He clung to Tyler for safety, knowing that if he let go his body would likely shatter. Tyler was taking him to the brink of everything he knew and he was lost in sweet ecstasy, so much so that when he felt the tension rising within his body he couldn't stop it at all. He groaned and gasped and pressed his head into Tyler's body as every inch of him convulsed and a stream of hot, viscous liquid erupted from him, coating himself and Tyler. The warmth dripped between them and it seemed to be enough to send Tyler over the edge.
While Johnny's mind was settling into a post-orgasmic haze Tyler was fully seized by the intensity of the moment and his body slammed into Johnny hard. Johnny felt the warmth seep into him and he held Tyler's shaking body close to him. The two of them were joined completely, and it was impossible to tell where one ended and the other began.
Tyler's chest was heaving. Johnny's body ached and his heart felt as though it was going to burst out of his chest. He could barely speak. Tyler carefully extricated himself and threw off the sheets. Their messy, sticky lovemaking was on display. Johnny looked down at the stain on his stomach and laughed.
“I'm such a wreck,” he said.
“You're fucking beautiful,” Tyler said. He kissed Johnny on the cheek and let out a long breath, then Tyler got out of bed, returning with a wet cloth, which he used to clean up himself and Johnny.
Chapter Seven
The warm water was calm and soothing against their skin. Tyler felt it was needed after the intense and electric lovemaking. He couldn't quite believe the powerful sensations that made his mind so dazed. By the looks of it, Johnny felt the same way.
The bliss of their lovemaking quickly faded though, much to Tyler's regret. It was impossible not to think about what they had been talking about before. About the fear of the future. Johnny seemed to want to fight against it, but Tyler knew there were some things it was impossible to fight against.
“Lie down with me,” Johnny said, “tell me what's wrong.” Tyler was astounded by how Johnny could see through him so transparently.
“You know what's wrong,” Tyler said as he lay down and nestled himself in Johnny's arms. The warm water lingered on their skin, and the glory of their love hung in the air. Sunlight streamed through the window, and the world seemed to be at peace.
“I meant what I said earlier. We can work through this.”
“Can we? I don't know. Sometimes there are things in this world that you can't beat. Maybe this is one of them.”
“Is that it then? You want to give up on this so easily?”
“No,” Tyler said, somewhat taken aback by the force of Johnny's words. “I just thought maybe it might spare us some heartache.”
“I can't believe you would say that. Do you really think it's worth us missing out on this because we're afraid of what might happen in the future? We don't know! I'm not ready to give up.”
“I just...I get what you're saying about us seeing each other, but this is my home Johnny. I can't just leave.”
“I'm not asking you to.”
“But someday...you won't want to live your life out here. I saw you today. Everything you showed me. It was amazing and wonderful, but it's not me. It's you. I like my life here. I can be myself. How can I embrace every part of me if I live in a city where there's always someone watching?”
“I don't know, and I'm not asking you to change, but those are questions for the future versions of me and you to answer. All we have to answer right now is do you want to be with me?”
“Yes,” Tyler said without hesitation. He looked at Johnny, at the earnestness in Johnny's eyes, and the love. Tyler had never thought that anyone would love him so intensely, not with knowing the truth about him. But Johnny had accepted everything about him, every part, and that was precious.
“Then it's settled.”
“But we can't just ignore the future...” Tyler said. Worry plagued his heart. “I've lost so much. My parents, my father, I don't think I can stand to lose anymore...”
“You won't have to,” Johnny said. “I promise I won't let this end. You're the first person I've been able to share this with. This is special Tyler, and I love how special you are too. I know that you've lost a lot. I wish that I could understand more where you're coming from, but it doesn't mean you're always going to lose people. It doesn't mean you're going to lose me.”
As he said this, Johnny took Tyler's hand in his own and held it firmly. Johnny was strong, his love was strong, and this strength swept through Tyler's body as well. He found himself nodding along to Johnny's insistence that everything would be all right. Tyler couldn't say he believed with certainty that it was going to happen, but he trusted Johnny, and at that moment it seemed to be enough.
They lay together, sprawled over the bed in silence, enjoying the feeling of being with each other. Tyler had never been close to anyone in this way. It was comforting to feel Johnny's heart beating underneath him, to feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.
“This is the first time in my life I don't
feel alone,” Tyler whispered, then seized up with fear. He had meant the words as a thought, but he had been so relaxed that they had slipped out of his mouth instead.
“Me too,” Johnny said. “I'm sharing something with you that I never have before and it's amazing.”
“I feel the same. I know I had father, but there were some things he didn't understand. He never really told me about love.”
“How did you learn of it?” Johnny asked.
“Through stories.”
“And how do I compare to the stories?”
“Much better,” Tyler said, leaning his head over to kiss Johnny. He kept his head there, brushing the tip of his nose against Johnny's. A wave of contentment came washing over him, but he knew it could not last. He sighed, and Johnny seemed to notice the anguish in his mind.
“What's wrong?” Johnny asked.
“I don't know,” Tyler said.
“I think you do. Come on, I've spent so much time hiding my true feelings from my parents. I can recognize it in others. Let's talk about it.”
Tyler opened his eyes, and then pushed himself up into a sitting position. Johnny did the same, placed his hand on Tyler's leg.
“I guess it's just ever since father died I've been thrust into the real world. There's so much to take care of and think about.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like what I want to do with my life. Father always told me that I could do whatever I wanted, but it doesn't seem as simple now. He gave me a good life, but after today I realize how sheltered I've truly been. When I think about you going off to college I can't help but feel a little envious. You have exciting things planned for your life, and I have...this,” he said, gesturing around the room, at the mansion that was hidden away from the rest of the world.
“Well, what do you want to do?” Johnny asked.
“That's just it. I don't know!” Tyler said, throwing his hands up. “I like drawing, but I don't know if I'm good enough to have a career. Father gave me a good education, but I know that's not going to count out there. I guess I just feel like I don't truly exist, like the world doesn't care about me.”
“I care about you,” Johnny said quickly. Tyler smiled.
“I appreciate that, but I don't think that's going to help me get a job or anything.”
“Maybe Mom is right and you should look into getting a diploma. It's not like you're stupid, you'll be able to get one easily, and that will lead to other opportunities for you.”
“I guess, but it's more than that. I just...when we were in the city today I felt like an outsider, like I didn't belong. It didn't feel like my world. I feel safe here, but this doesn't feel like enough either. I just don't KNOW!”
Tyler screamed in frustration and held his head in his hands. He curled his head into his knees and began rocking back and forth. Johnny put his arms around Tyler's body and tried to comfort him. Tyler could already feel the hot tears streaming down his cheeks. Johnny pulled his arms apart and took Tyler into his arms, holding him close.
“I feel so stupid,” he said.
“You're not stupid. This is a lot to take in, and you're still grieving for Uncle Christopher. This is just...being human.”
“But I'm not human am I? Not completely,” Tyler said. The words hung in the air. He felt bad for making Johnny feel uncomfortable, but it had to be said. It was easy to pretend that he was human, and he had done for most of his life with his father, but at the end of the day there was another side to him, and he couldn't continue denying that.
“Does it matter?” Johnny asked.
“Of course it matters!”
“It doesn't matter to me. I love you for all of you.”
“And I appreciate that, I really do,” Tyler said, his voice softening, “but I always feel different, like I have to hide a part of myself. It's not as though I can go out walking as a wolf is it? People would freak out. But it's more than that,” he said before Johnny could interrupt. “I don't know myself. I don't know my own mind. I don't know anything about this side of me. And I don't know how to go about finding any of it out.”
Johnny ran his hand along his jaw. “I wish I could do more to help,” he said.
“I do too. It means a lot that you're here, but there are some things that nobody can do for me. The only key I have to my parents is this necklace, but I don't know what it means. They didn't even leave a letter,” he said. Johnny blew out his cheeks and got up off the bed.
“There has to be some way we can find this out. Maybe there's something in uncle Christopher's study,” Johnny said. Tyler shook his head glumly.
“I know him. He wouldn't have kept any secrets from me, not about this.”
Johnny looked as though he was about to say something, but Tyler's heart was despondent and he knew he just wanted to be alone. He rose from the bed himself.
“I'm sorry Johnny, but I think right now I'd just prefer to be alone with my thoughts. I'm probably just being emotional, and like you say I'm still grieving. I hope you don't mind.”
“No, of course not. I should probably go and see Mel anyway,” Johnny said. Tyler gave him a weak smile as they got dressed.
“I do wish I could help,” Johnny said. “You know that if I could do anything I would.”
“I know.”
“I'll have to think to see if I can come up with anything but try not to worry too much. Believe me, I know the future can be scary, but we shouldn't waste the present worrying about it.”
The two of them kissed as they walked downstairs. Johnny got on his bike and rode away. Tyler watched him leave, then turned to face the huge manor house that cast a long, dark shadow over the ground. It captured Tyler in its grip and he wondered if it would ever let him go. His father had kept him hidden here for fear of what the outside world would do if they ever found out about him. Tyler had spent his life fearing what was inside him, what it would mean if anyone found out. He had taken a big risk with Johnny, and he knew that most people wouldn't be as understanding. But could he really live his life denying this part of him? Only letting it out when he was alone?
There was much that troubled his heart. So many questions whirled around inside him and there were no answers that presented themselves. Life was complicated, and he wished that his father was there. Christopher was always able to alleviate his concerns.
Then, Tyler did the thing he always did whenever he was this troubled. He walked around the back of the house to the open field that stretched before him, and looked to the trees beyond. They stood like silent guardians, and were the only ones aside from Johnny privy to his secret. He fondled his necklace and thought about his parents, wishing that they had left more information about his past and his heritage, then he closed his eyes and opened the part of his heart that he had to hide in everyday life. He felt the energy stir within him, fill up every part of him, and suddenly his body was transformed, and with it his perception of the world.
It tasted and smelled different. He fell onto his four paws and felt the freedom that came with being a wolf. The primal energy ran through his mind and he felt as though he had been unshackled. The world before him was a playground. He ran forward, his powerful legs carrying him far faster than his human legs could, and he raced across the field, disappearing into the forest.
While in there he lost all track of time. He hunted small animals and toyed with birds. He scrambled across logs and through the underbrush, exploring the surrounding area. He ran and leaped and jumped, trying to ignore the sorrow in his heart that came with knowing he was the only one of his kind around. There were no kindred spirits, no companions for him to play with, only the memory of his parents, who had died before he had a chance to know them.
The wolf mind turned back to the dream that had plagued him, of the other wolves who turned their backs on him. Perhaps it was better that he was alone. He had been away from the pack for too long, and if he returned now they would surely turn him away for not being pure enough, for n
ot being worthy of them. He was a forgotten wolf, made to walk a path alone. He knew in his blood that it was not a natural state for a wolf, but it was one that he had to make his peace with.
He shook away the grim thoughts that lingered in his mind and focused on the world before him. He lost himself to the sights and smells, to the feeling of being at one with nature. He ran deeper into the forest, almost wishing that he could live in this state forever. But no, now he had Johnny. The ties to the human world were strong, but being a wolf was seductive. It was so easy to slip into existence as this primal, savage being. All he had to do was roam about the world freely. There was no agonizing over the future. To a wolf, time meant nothing. He simply existed from moment to moment. He was a creature of instinct, of passion.
But he would always straddle two worlds, and he couldn't simply ignore his feelings for Johnny. He twisted this way and that, his body coiling around trees as he grew frustrated. In the end, he let out an almighty howl, a howl that was loud enough to shake the trees that stood around him. Unlike his dream he was not silenced, but still there was no answer. His howl drifted along the breeze and faded into nothingness. His heart was hollow, and his head dipped. Being a wolf was freeing, but it also only served to remind him how along he was.
Tyler turned tail and made his way back to his home, wishing that he had some answers. He reached the forest, and as he did so a strange smell came to him. He stopped and sniffed the air, then the hackles on his neck rose. His peace was being disturbed, and he had a good idea by whom. Before he returned to the open field he shifted back into his human form and grabbed some clothes. He left sacks of clothes all over the forest in case he had need of them after a sudden shift. It had been his father's idea.
Tyler marched to the manor house. Just as he approached a tall figure came around the corner and stopped when he saw Tyler. Tyler clenched his jaw, wondering why Todd had sought him out.
Chapter Eight