Dubstep Succubus

by Aaron Siverling

He paused, then looked up from his tablet with a raised eyebrow. “Did you expect Gray Hall Enterprises to store your body for the entirety of your relocation?”

  I sent a confirmation which he ignored. “Your body will be painlessly and instantly liquefied immediately after your mind has been relocated…”

  Is that what that smell is!?

  It was then that I realized what had been bothering me about the room. There was no exit. No exit in a room that people kept going into. And not coming out of.

  Stupid brain! Stupid! Stupid not noticing details and swimming in ADD juice brain! Wait… what was he saying?

  “... remaining will then be the property of Gray Hall Enterprises and sold to nutrient saturation companies…”

  They're turning us into FERTILIZER! IT'S A SOYLENT GREEN SITUATION?!

  Just a few seconds ago I had been freaking out about not being able to communicate with the rest of my Chain. Being cut off from them for only a minute or two distressed me more than I expected, but any worries I had about codependency got kicked to the curb, then curb stomped.

  “Now, do you acknowledge, understand and agree with the stipulated terms? If so, say ‘I am’ and state your name then say the words ‘I agree’. Your agreement is not necessary at this juncture, it is merely procedure.”

  He paused and waited.

  I… cleared my throat.

  He waited.

  When I spoke it was with a quiet, hoarse rasp but as I continued to speak it became stronger and louder, until it rang in the small room.

  “I… am… Ruineil... Alkalinella Xifax… Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla... Blue Stradivari... Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George DOITZEL KAISER! THE THIRD!”

  “BUT!” I raised my zip tied hands to the sky and smiled before speaking at a normal volume. “You can call me Ruin.”

  Then, as Queens Don’t stop me now started playing in my head I laughed aloud for the first time in years.

  They all stared at me, confused and I wondered if they got the reference. Probably not. They didn't look like fans of classic anime.

  “Wait," the Punisher on my left spoke up. "Did he say Ruin? As in that - huuoogh!”

  That was the sound that immediately followed me bringing my arms down as hard as I could, snapping the zip ties and continuing the motion that hammered my fist directly between the Punishers legs.

  The Punisher on my right started to reach for me when my thumb gave him the gift of a future eye implant as I shoved it under his black AR shades.

  The guy on my left was half standing, half leaning against the wall and curled around his pain. He fumbled with his shock stick and prodded it vaguely in my direction.

  "No touchy!" I yelled as my heel connected with his temple and he fell the rest of the way to the ground.

  The half blind Punisher at my back was still screaming but he had his own shock stick out as he stumbled forward. Jabbing and swinging the weapon at me, I backed up until I was against the wall.

  I waited until he took another swing at me, ducked, grabbed the downed Punishers gene locked weapon, still clenched in his hand and stabbed it into the other Punishers ankle.

  He went down and since I was taught to never kick a man when he was down, I hit him with the shock stick again. And again. And...

  The Punisher I was using, not abusing, recovered himself enough to jerk his hand away. I grabbed it back with both of mine, desperate to keep him from tazing me.

  His face was twisted in rage as he tried using his free hand to grab me around the neck, but he got too close to my teeth.

  He shrieked as those teeth sank into his fingers and when he tried to pull away, I refused to let go. I growled in annoyance when he tried to shake me off. So I stomped on the side of his knee joint, making him crumple to the ground.

  To keep him that way I applied a little action movie anesthetic by banging his head against the metal door, many, many times.

  All the while I laughed.

  The unconscious body fell heavily to the floor as I turned around to face the guy with the tablet.

  He was screaming for security as he frantically jabbed at his tablet until the door behind me unlocked.

  Seeing my chance I signaled the rest of my Chain, telling them what just happened and what I had learned.

  Then I yanked the tablet out of the Judges hands. He stared at me numbly as I wound up and smashed him in the mouth with it. He collapsed onto the ground and didn't move.

  I couldn’t seem to stop laughing now that I had started. Which probably should of worried me but I had more important things to deal with.

  I turned around and tossed the tablet over my shoulder as I strode towards the exit. Avoiding the broken teeth that had ricocheted off the machine and fell to the floor.

  I heard a panicked scream and saw a large man stumbling around outside the door. A thin but still wiry figure rode his shoulders and scratched for his eyes.

  That was Five.

  Three was the biggest and still the strongest of us despite living on a diet of nutrient mix for several years and he proved that as he hit a Punisher with rapid, precise strikes to the skull.

  By this time, everyone had heard about our future as fertilizer and as you may expect, they did not take it well.

  There were still entire Chains frozen in place, unable to break their conditioning but still sending signals to anybody and everybody they could. Others were shifting restlessly, looking around and actually talking aloud, their voices whispery and breaking from disuse but growing steadily louder.

  Four, the smallest of us and still ziptied, tackled an Overseer around the knees. After he went down Two, who was still struggling to slip out of her own bindings, multitasked by kicking in the Overseer in the ribs.

  Still grinning and laughing, completely disregarding how much my atrophied facial muscles hurt, I was on my way assist Five when I heard a small, cheery little "Ding!".

  I looked down to see a little red light on my collar flick on and I had time to say, "Aw Crab nuggets" before the pain came.

  I had forgotten all about the secondary use of the collars. They were not only the hardware for our limited AR but an anti-riot taser as well.

  Someone must have triggered it because one second I was surrounded by violence, screams, panic, budding chaos and all that fun stuff. Then next I was on the ground, my entire body a convulsing mass of pain.

  We outnumbered the Punishers and Overseers, but it didn't matter. They still had the power and could still knock us down as long as someone's finger was on the button.

  That someone was probably watching all this from a camera feed, which meant that chewing off said finger was a no go.

  In the early days I had once tried to break the collar, only to discover that set off its taser function. Not just for myself but for the rest of my Chain as well.

  Only after we were done falling to the floor and twitching like an epileptic breakdancing to Speed Metal did they moved in with more zip ties.

  While I was on the ground, laughter barely escaping from behind clenched teeth, I heard a shrill lisping voice lash out.

  “You! YOU! You die lasth! Tie him! Tie him now

  Still on the ground I stopped laughing long enough to cough out, “Who? Me? Ah. You're talking about me, aren't you."

  "I'm sorry, sir." One of the Punishers said. "There aren't any more ties. We… nobody expected, well, Ruin. Sir."

  I laughed a little louder.

  Two Punishers picked me up and I came face to face with…

  “Ah! Mr. McJudgyFace! How are - wow. That face. I hope you got dental. I mean, even if you did get new front teeth they'll never feel quite the same will they! Isn't that sweet? Every time you talk, you'll be reminded of me! Hey! Your tablet is still working? Funny how it's tougher that your face. In fact, it is hilariously - ”

  When my collar dinged the Punishers jerked away.

  “Aw crab nuggets.”

  A second later I was on the flo
or again.

  It turns out I was wrong about the finger on the button. That finger was right in front of me while it owner was yelling, "Ish thot thunny!”

  When it was over I was panting and sweating, struggling to push myself onto my hands and knees. I slowly and painfully stood up, swaying and twitching randomly as I spoke.

  "Is... too..."

  “Ahhhhhhgggthhh!”

  "Dude… say it… don't... spray it."

  Down I went again. This time, it took a lot longer for me to stand. No one helped me. No one stepped forward. The only ones who said anything were the rest of my Chain.

  Two was on her knees and made creative and inventive threats. Three was pressed flat on the ground with three Punishers on top of him as he explained how this course of action was unnecessary and counterproductive. Four kept telling me to stay down, that I was only hurting myself.

  Five just kept struggling, fighting to get to the person hurting me, to hurt him. It was taking two Punishers to keep her on the ground, even with her wrists zip tied again.

  "IT. IS. NOT. FUNNY." He spoke every word loudly, carefully and clearly.

  When I could finally stand and speak, my voice was even rougher and raspier than before. “You… only say that… because you can't see your own face. Oh, look... your face is changing colors! Ooh! That's an interesting shade. I think I'll call it ‘Aneurysm Red’. Oh, more colors. That can be ‘Apocalyptic Purple’. Hmm, yes. 'Gut Busting Blue' that is exactly - "

  "SSTHOP TALKING!

  "No."

  He tried to shock me again but apparently there was a built in safety that wouldn't allow it.

  He ordered the nearest Punisher to hand over his shock stick but the man said, “Sorry Mr. Gracer. Its gene locked.”

  “Duh. Everyone knows that.” I added helpfully.

  He was in the process of ordering the Punisher to use it on me when I interrupted him.

  “Hellooo Mr. Gracie! You could do that. But if you did, I'll just keep talking and talking and talking and talking and you'll keep shocking me until I die and then you'll be a murderer! If you don't shock me then I'll just keep talking and talking and talking and talking and-”

  “Pudth - pud him firsth! He dies first!”

  “What? No blindfold? No last meal?” A section of the clear cylinder slid open and when they tried to push me through I felt a sudden surge of adrenaline. "Nope. Nuh uh! I will not go gently into eternal peace! I'll be bored! Hey! A last cigarette! Do you old people still inhale toxins for fun? Hey man, sorry about this but- !”

  “Ah! He bit me!”

  “I said I was sorry!”

  “Can't we shock him again?”

  “No. The safety settings won't allow it.”

  Gracer waited impatiently at the control panel while it took three Punishers to wrestle me all the way in. When they did succeed, they found themselves with another problem.

  Getting back out with a panicky, struggling Subadult screaming, "Nooo! I want to liiiive! I'm too funny to die! I've never had a ménage à trois! That's a French pastry right? I WANT TO LIIIIVE!"

  One of them glared at me in disgust and said, “Have some dignity - ahhh! He bit me again! Ah! He's still biting me!”

  A sudden punch to the head stopped me from munching on his hand. It dislodged and disoriented me long enough for them to shove me against the back of the container.

  The glass shut and I heard their muted voices as I stumbled forward to pound my hands against it the glass.

  “Wait! Wait! Last words! I get last words right? Right?! Dignity! Let me go with some dignity!”

  Amazingly, Gracer paused and, almost seemingly against his will, waited.

  I stood up straight, squared my shoulders and gazed solemnly around at all the Punishers and Overseers.

  Then, standing tall and proud, I took a deep breath, stuck out my tongue, and blew the biggest, longest, sloppiest, fartist sounding raspberry of my life.

  Then.

  Everything.

  Went.

  White.

  Chapter Six: Oh Great. Now That Song Is Stuck In My Skull.

  “He's the one! He's the one responsible for killing us all!”

  “It wasn't me,” I protested.

  “I heard what the Overseer said!”

  “It wasn't me.”

  “I should cut him down right here!”

  “I wasn't me!”

  “At the very least he should be… outcast or… I don't know… but I don't want him around! No one wants him around! He only causes pain and chaos and...“

  I took a deep breath and restrained myself from saying anything rash. I admit, he hit a nerve that ran directly to my abandonment issues.

  I did my best to calmly interrupt him. "That almost sounds like you're insulting me."

  He bared his teeth as he glared at me, his expression a tangled snarl of spite and hate. "It's not an insult if it's true. And if we spent three years in the Grey Hell because of you? It’s true."

  “Like I said. I wasn't me! Oh! Oh, great! Just great! Now I got that song stuck in my head…”

  Aeria put a hand on Taren's shoulder. "Honey… um… sweetie?”

  “You should call him Sugar Beard,” I said helpfully.

  She glared at me and said, “NOT HELPING.” Then she turned back to the Dwarf. "He has done nothing but help me. Not just help, but he risked his life to save mine. I owe him and I think he's a good person at heart.”

  “Aw, shucks,” I said modestly. "I'm always happy to kill things in exchange for a woman's touch.”

  “Healing touch!” she yelled as the Dwarf started towards me. "I have a spell called Minor Healing Touch! He protected me and I healed him! That's it!”

  “I don't want him around me or you. He's … he's a worthless human being. He - "

  “Taren!” Aeria’s voice sharpened. "That was definitely an insult.”

  "Also, none of use are human beings anymore," I said to no one in particular.

  “It's a description! Not a - !“

  “Do you have sufficient data to judge his worth to society?” she asked.

  “No, but - ”

  "Is saying someone is 'worthless' and claiming that 'nobody would want them around' sound like a reasonable description for a person you've barely had any interaction with? Or does it sound like bullying behavior?"

  "Well… I…"

  "You know the reasons people insult others. You know this. You can't ignore it like some sort of… like the way adults do."

  Taren gritted his teeth for a long moment. Looking like the act of keeping words caged behind them caused him actual, physical pain. After a few seconds of this he turned to look at me but didn't meet my eyes.

  After a long moment he spoke. "I did insult you. I spoke out of anger and in my anger I verbally lashed out. I should have risen above and I will strive to rise above in the future."

  As I looked at Taren I had a silent little debate with myself. I could let him off the hook or twist the knife. The first I was disinclined to do but the second would be petty.

  Finally I sighed and said, “Dude… didn't you hear? That guy was messing with us. What happened to us was the resulting culmination of multiple tipping points caused by extreme generational prejudice. Prejudice that was exacerbated by various factors including public perception, governmental mismanagement and economics.”

  They stared at me.

  “While an individual to be a catalyst for the actions of others, every individual is responsible for their own actions, not for how others react to those actions. Claiming otherwise is an attempt to avoid personal responsibility.”

  More staring.

  I shrugged. "I'm easily distracted. Not an idiot. Well, not an idiot about everything. Well, not an idiot about everything all the time."

  Taren looked conflicted. Less angry, more embarrassed and just a little bit pitying.

  I felt kinda bad for him so I said, “But if it makes you feel any better you can still be mad it
me. Hey, I think you girlfriend is really hot! Like… wow. If she gave me an inch I would totally give her the rest - “

  “You shut your mouth!” he yelled, scowling furiously.

  “Ah. There you go. Nice clean righteous anger. No feeling sorry for me anymore are you? Good."

  “Say another thing about your inches and chop off your - “

  “Honey, please stop.” Aeria interrupted. “He's not really interested in me.”

  He blinked at her. "He's not?"

  I blinked at her, too. “I'm not?”

  She gave me a pointed look. "You're not helping and yes I can tell. You haven't checked me out nearly as much as most males. I think you have feelings for another girl.”

  "What!? Noooo… that's… what? I mean, who would I even… you know what? I owe you an apology. Yep. Definitely. From now on I promise I will totally, totally, look at you in a salacious manner. Like when males think you don’t notice but in reality, you totally, totally notice. Notice me, noticing you, in the ancient ritual of pretty women and lusty men. Oh, wait, I'm not helping again am I?”

  “Yes. I mean, no… I mean." She let out a sound of irritation. “Just… stop talking. We need to get going anyway.”

  Taren put a hand on his face and dragged it down, as if he could wipe the last few minutes from his mind and said, “Okay. Fine. I just have to ask. Why did you keep calling those things Whatsits?”

  “Because it's what they're called,” Aeria and I said, more or less at the same time.

  Taren muttered a, “Whatever” and started down the road.

  “By the way, I'm 24601-01, Ruin. Nice to meet you. Officially."

  “24112-03, Taren,” he grumbled back automatically as he took point. Taking the role as tank and the first line of defense while Aeria followed.

  "Don't worry." I told them confidently. "The nines are mine, the threes on me and the six won't be missed!"

  "Light and Shadow what are you blathering on about now?" Taren growled over his shoulder.

  "He's using military terms. Twelve o'clock is our front, six our back, nine is left and three is right."

  We both looked at her and she rolled her eyes. "I mostly played VR and AR first person shooters. It's part of the lingo."