Outcast

by Michelle Paver

  Angrily she shook him off. But when he started for camp, she followed.

  Torak waited till he was sure they were gone, then waded back to dry ground. Frozen, numb, he pulled on his boots. The scab on his chest was open; he felt warmth seeping out. Good. Let it bleed. He followed the river upstream, running punishingly fast so that he wouldn't have to think, but

  94

  at last he had to stop. He slumped against a whitebeam tree at the edge of a clearing. It would be dawn soon. Far in the distance, he heard dogs.

  He found that he was still clutching the pebble he'd taken from Renn's medicine pouch. He stared at the dotted lines which he used to think were his clan-tattoo, but were now meaningless smudges.

  That's the old Torak, he thought.

  He realized that for the past half-moon, he'd merely been playing at being outcast, finding any excuse to stay near the Ravens. He'd been like that young elk, bleating for its mother. If it didn't learn to survive on its own, it would get killed. He wasn't going to make the same mistake. His fist closed over the pebble. Leave it. Leave it all behind.

  He tucked the pebble into a cleft of the whitebeam tree and ran.

  Mist beaded the bracken and lent the leaves of the whitebeam a frosty glitter. Torak's pebble nestled safe in its smooth brown arms.

  A roe buck entered the clearing and began to browse. A robin started to sing. A blackbird awoke. The rising sun burned off the mist.

  Suddenly the buck jerked up its head and fled.

  95

  Robin and blackbird flew off with shrill calls of alarm. A shadow fell across the whitebeam. The Forest held its breath.

  A green hand reached out and took the pebble from the tree.

  96

  ELEVEN

  He's here," said Aki. "I can feel it." "Well, I can't," panted the Willow girl, battling the current to keep abreast of him. "Won't he have headed south instead of east? That's where he came from." "Which is why the others have gone south to cut him off," growled Aki.

  "We're too far upstream," Raut said uneasily. "We should go back."

  "No," snapped Aki.

  "Then let's put in for a rest," protested another boy. "If I paddle much longer, my arms will fall off!"

  97

  "Me too," puffed the girl. "There was an inlet back there. Let's go."

  A murmur of assent--to which Aki grudgingly agreed--and they brought their dugouts about.

  Perched in a willow, Torak breathed out. When he was sure it wasn't a bluff, he slipped into the water and waded for the bank.

  Wolf was waiting. He watched with interest as Torak stuffed his boots with grass to warm up his feet; then they headed upstream.

  All day the hunters had tracked them: east of Twin Rivers and up the Axehandle. Whenever Torak tried heading south, the second group of hunters drove him back. It was only by staying in the thickets near the river that he'd kept them off the scent.

  He was cold, wet, and he hadn't slept since the night before last. He was beginning to miss things. A while back he'd almost tripped over a boar enjoying a wallow. Why hadn't he seen its tracks? A child of five summers would have spotted them.

  Because of Aki, he'd given up all-thought of going south. His only hope was to cross the Axehandle and make for the gullies leading off it to the north. It was rough country without much prey, and few people ventured in except for the odd lonely wanderer. That was the point. The river turned angrier, and he caught the distant

  98

  roar of rapids. Around midmorning, Wolf tensed. Then Torak heard it too: paddles slicing the water; dogs panting, keeping level with the dugouts. Aki and his friends hadn't rested for long.

  Torak made his way across the willow bog, squelching through haregrass, avoiding the pale-green moss, which was so delicate that a footprint would remain stamped on it for days. Wolf managed better, his big, slightly webbed paws letting him run lightly over the surface.

  To his dismay, Torak saw that his pursuers weren't continuing upriver, but crossing it, as if they'd guessed his plan. In their dugouts they made it with ease. He watched them hoist the boats on their shoulders and climb the bank. They meant to carry them around the rapids and lie in wait for him above.

  He had no choice but to go on. The river turned rougher, crashing over rocks and soaking him in spray. As he clambered past the rapids, he watched for his pursuers on the other side. From memory, he guessed he was nearing the place where-- on the opposite bank--two gullies led off from the Axehandle valley. The autumn before last, he and Renn had found a fallen oak and used it to get across. Maybe ...

  The oak was gone, washed away by floods.

  For a moment Torak didn't know what to do. His

  99

  head felt tight. A buzzing in his ears made it hard to think. There had to be some way of crossing.

  There was. Ahead, the valley narrowed, drowned thickets giving way to boulders and straggling trees. A pine had fallen and now spanned the river, ten paces above it. As a walkway, it wasn't promising: the bark was slimy, branches stuck out, and when Torak put his hand on the trunk, it wobbled. Good enough, he told himself.

  Part of him knew this was a mistake--but strangely, he kept going.

  Wolf raced lightly along the trunk, leaping the branches. When he reached the other side, he turned to Torak, wagging his tail.Easy!

  No it's not, Torak wanted to say. Not on your hands and knees in slippery wet buckskin, with a sleeping-sack, bow, and quiver on your back--and no claws. He was nearly across when he heard voices. He glanced down--and nearly fell off in alarm.

  Blue water and white foam swirled around moss-green boulders. On one, directly beneath him, stood Aki and Raut.

  Torak held his breath. If one of them looked up ...

  "I've had enough," said Raut. "I'm going back."

  "Well, I'm not!" snarled Aki.

  Torak tried to move forward, but Renn's rowanberry wristband snagged on a branch. He tried

  100

  to unsnag it. The tree shook.

  "The others have gone back," said Raut, "and so should we. We're out of our range."

  Again Torak tugged the wristband. It snapped. Rowanberries bounced onto the rocks. Luckily, Aki was too incensed to notice. "If you go now, you'll be going on foot! I'm keeping the boat!"

  "You do that!" retorted Raut. Then more quietly, "Aki, this isn't right! Why do you hate him so much?

  "I don't," snapped Aki.

  "Then why all this?"

  "I said I'd get him! I told Fa. I can't go back if I fail."

  "Well, you'll have to do it without me. We'll split the provisions--then you're on your own!"

  Weak with relief, Torak watched them head off downstream.

  He'd just begun to move when Aki's voice rang out. "I know you're out there, Soul-Eater! I'll find you, I swear it on my souls! I'll find you and I'll hunt you down!" Wolf was waiting for him on the other side, but Torak barely greeted him. Huddled in his wet clothes, he thought about Aki's threat. Such determination.

  He glanced at Wolf. Every moment they spent together put him at risk. Clan law forbade the killing of a hunter,exceptin self-defense. What if it came to a fight and Wolf tried to defend his pack-brother and Aki shot him? 101

  A moment of pure panic. He couldn't be without Wolf.

  It's the only way, he told himself. And it isn't forever.

  Split up, Torak told his pack-brother in wolf talk. Wolf threw him a puzzled glance.

  Impossible to get across that this wasn't for good, but only while Aki was close. With an effort, Torak hardened his heart and repeated the command.Split up! Wolf looked offended. Then he shook himself and trotted off into the bracken.

  Torak hadn't heard Aki or his dogs for a while, or seen any sign of Wolf.

  The buzzing in his ears came and went, and the wound in his chest throbbed. Belatedly, he'd smeared it with chewed willow bast, but it refused to heal. The pain was a constant reminder that it wasn't only Aki who hunted him. The Soul-
Eaters had hooked him with an unseen harpoon, and were drawing him in. The ground became stonier. From where he stood, the riverbank dropped steeply to the Axehandle. He'd passed the rapids some time ago, but their thunder still filled his ears. Leaning against a birch tree, he gulped the last of Renn's blood sausage. He didn't bother with an offering; he needed it all for himself. He was thirsty, but it was a tough climb down to the

  102

  river, so instead he slashed the birch trunk and drank. He left the bark oozing tree-blood and stumbled on. He knew that was wrong, but he did it anyway. Something was getting between him and the Forest. He was too tired to fight it. Below him the river ran swift and deep. Should he stay this close, or get under cover? He decided to stay close.

  Wrong choice. The boulders were treacherous with moss and he fell, bumping and rolling down the slope.

  He ended up sprawled on a rock by the water's edge. The trees grew sparsely here, and as he struggled to his feet he got a clear view downstream--and saw a dugout nosing around the bend. Aki saw him, and yelled in triumph.

  Desperately, Torak looked about. No time to climb the slope. Up ahead, a rockfall blocked his way. He was trapped.

  And Aki had a quiverful of arrows.

  103

  TWELVE

  Torak threw off his gear and jumped in the river. The cold was a punch in the chest, and the current tugged off his boots and blinded him with his hair. Spluttering, he surfaced among willows. He clung to one. It didn't give much cover. He took a deep breath and pulled himself under. The river was murky, eager to carry him to Aki. His numb fingers lost their grip, and as the current spun him, he caught a flash of the log he was about to crash into. He tried to dive, couldn't get deep enough, took a blow on the temple. Kicking water, he burst free--to a

  104

  blaze of sunlight and a fishing spear aimed at his chest. It wasn't a log he'd crashed into. It was Aki's dugout.

  Frantically, Torak twisted, then dived under the boat. He bobbed up on the other side. Aki was waiting. Again the spear jabbed. Again Torak dived beneath the boat. His legs were stone, his chest bursting. An image flared in his mind of the elder-branch pipe he'd used for tapping birch-blood. Should've kept it, should've thought... Once more he surfaced--but this time as Aki lunged, Torak grabbed the spear-shaft and yanked with all his might. Aki howled and pitched over the side.

  Locked together, they fought, each battling to wrench the spear from the other. Aki jerked the shaft beneath Torak's chin and slammed him against the boat. Choking, Torak drove his knee into Aki's groin. Aki roared and let go of the spear. Torak went for it, but the river carried it away. That lunge nearly cost him his life. As he reached for the spear, Aki seized his hair and pushed him under. Flailing, Torak clutched Aki's jerkin--leggings-- anything. Couldn't catch hold of the slippery buckskin, couldn't claw loose from the grip on his hair. His sight darkened, his mouth gaped to scream--and the river took the bubbles of his breath. In the last moment he twisted around and sank his teeth into Aki's thigh.

  105

  A muffled bellow, and Aki released him. Torak exploded from the water, gulping air like a landed salmon.

  Forcing himself under again, he surfaced in a clump of alders, upstream of the dugout. Aki was downstream, his bristly scalp just visible as he clung to a tree and fought for breath. The boat was between them, wedged among willows. That gave Torak an idea.

  Sinking beneath the surface, he let the river carry him, emerging without a ripple closer to the dugout, but still upstream. He heard Aki's labored breathing on the other side of the boat but couldn't see him. The Boar Clan boy sounded spent, and Torak hesitated. Then a hardness like a splinter of bone seemed to enter his heart. Bracing his shoulders against a willow, he kicked the dugout with both feet. It bucked like a forest horse. He kicked again--it jolted loose--and the river took hold. The moment before the dugout struck Aki, Torak grabbed a tree and pulled himself high enough to see. He saw the boy's head jerk up, his eyes widen in fear. He saw the heavy oak smack into him and bear him down, down toward the rapids. Aki didn't even have time to scream. Grimly Torak clung to the tree. The lapping water was gentle. From downstream came no sound except the roar of the rapids.

  106

  Torak turned and swam upriver to where he'd left his gear. He hauled himself out and collapsed. The muddy taste of the river was in his mouth, the sour smell of moss in his nostrils. The wound in his chest ached.

  Retrieving his things, he spotted a way up the rocks which he hadn't noticed before, and started to climb. Granite scratched his bare feet, and he remembered that the river had taken his boots. He shrugged.

  When he reached the top, he retraced his steps till the rapids were in sight. To make sure.

  The dugout had slammed into a boulder above them. Between boulder and boat, Torak glimpsed a hand. It wasn't moving. Maybe Aki was unconscious and drowning. Maybe he was already dead. Torak couldn't bring himself to care.

  Drawing his knife, he cut a switch from an elder tree and trimmed it to make a breathing tube. Then he jammed it in his belt and started upstream, leaving Aki to his fate. There was something wrong with Tall Tailless.

  Wolf had sensed this in his pack-brother for a while. Tall Tailless no longer listened to Wolf, or even to the Forest, and he was beginning to do bad things. It was getting worse. A badness was gnawing him on the inside, like the badness that had gnawed the tip of

  107

  Wolf's tail in the Great Gold.

  Anxiously Wolf followed his pack-brother, staying out of sight because Tall Tailless had told him to go away, but watching nevertheless.

  Wolf kept level with him now as they followed the Fast Wet toward the Mountains. As he wove between the trees, Wolf smelled otter and beaver, and a whiff of the Otherness that hid its true scent. He didn't know what to do about that, so he chewed a juniper branch, which made him feel better. Suddenly he smelled wolf.

  The scent drove all else from his mind. Yes, fresh wolf scat, and the strong, sweet scent-markings of the lead wolf.

  His heart gave a bound. Heknewthis scent! The Mountain pack!

  Wild with joy, Wolf gave two short barks:Where are you?

  The wind carried an answering howl--and Wolf flew toward it. Now he could be among wolves again,andhelp Tall Tailless! This was what Tall Tailless needed: to be among his own kind, to be among wolves!

  It didn't take long to find them, because they'd paused to wash the blood from their muzzles at a little Fast Wet. As Wolf sped toward them, he took in everything in a snap. The hunt had been good: he smelled deer blood on their fur, saw their bellies 108

  sagging with meat they were carrying back to the Den.

  The lead pair were the same, but there had been changes, as there always are in a wolf pack. The old wolf was gone, and the one who loved digging for mice was lame and had become underwolf, while the cubs who'd played with Wolf on the Mountain were young full-growns like himself, although smaller. One of these was a beautiful, dark-furred female who'd been extremely good at hunt-the-lemming. She caught Wolf's scent and gave an excited twitch of her tail--but she didn't come to greet him, because it was up to the leaders to decide if he was allowed back. Skittering to a halt, Wolf approached the lead male in the proper way for a young full-grown to greet his elder. Sleeking back his ears, Wolf belly-crawled toward him, apologizing for being gone so long. The leader looked proudly away. With fearsome speed, he grabbed Wolf's muzzle in his jaws, threw him onto his back, and stood over him, growling. Wolf thumped his tail and whined. The pack watched.

  The leader released Wolf and raised his head, narrowing his eyes. Wolf took the hint and licked the leader's muzzle, whining respectfully and waggling his' hindquarters to thank him for being allowed back. Now the lead female shouldered her mate aside to

  109

  get her share of the greeting, and after that, everyone followed in a frenzy of nibble-greeting and rubbing of flanks.

  Darkfur playfully pawed Wolf's shoulder but was
body-slammed away by a male with a black ear: the leader of the young full-growns. Blackear tried to muzzle-grab Wolf, but Wolf wriggled out of Blackear's grip, muzzle-grabbed him back, and flipped him onto his flank, straddling him and growling till Blackear thumped his tail in apology. Wolf released him and licked his nose to show that this was accepted.So. Now I am above you in the pack.And that was decided.

  At the same time, Wolf was breathing in the wonderful, sweet smell of cubs on everyone's fur. The fierce love of wolf cubs flared in his chest. Oh, to race to the Den and meet them! To snuffle them and let them clamber over him! Why did you leave? Darkfur asked with a glance and a twitch of her tail. Why did you leave the Mountain?Wolf replied.

  The others crowded around, and he got as many answers as there were wolves.Thunderer. Great Soft Cold. Cubs. Ancient Den. Big Wet. Wrong Smell. Needed. Sent... Suddenly the lead female raised her muzzle and tasted the air. Then she flicked an ear at Wolf. You hunt with us now. 110 Wolf wagged his tail.I bring my pack-brother. A ripple of tension ran through her.You are of this pack. No other. Anxiously Wolf dipped his head.He is my pack-brother. He is--he has no tail. He runs on hind legs.

  He is not-wolf!The lead male gave an irritable twitch.

  Wolf whined and dropped his ears to show--as politely as he could--that this wasn't so.

  A glance passed between the lead pair. Darkfur threw Wolf a puzzled look.

  The lead male moved off, then turned his grizzled head.A wolf cannot be of two packs.

  Wolf's tail drooped.

  The Up darkened, and the Wet began to fall. Wolf stood in the Wet and watched the Mountain pack trotting away into the trees. 111

  THIRTEEN

  It was raining, and Torak was chilled to the bone, but he was too scared to wake up a fire. The rockfall had crushed his shelter. He'd only just escaped. For half a moon he'd survived in the gulley off the Axehandle. At least, he thoughtit was half a moon, although he was losing track of time, as he was losing his skill at tracking prey. When Wolf was with him, things were better; but then he would start worrying that Wolf was in danger, and send him away again--and things would turn bad.