He was short and young; maybe even younger than June, with darker olive toned skin that revealed numerous tan lines between the fabric of his tank top. He also had a handful of small, distinct moles. The most obvious one just below the corner of his mouth. A sort of Marilyn Monroe beauty mark. His hair was a little on the longer side, stopping just at the nape of his neck. In the sun, it was a vibrant, chestnut-red; quite odd compared to his eyes, which were a colorless, storm-cloud grey.
June thought in contrast to Arco, Brynn looked minuscule, but somehow still pleasantly average. If he could get the resting-bitch-face look off him, he might stand a decent chance of catching someone’s attention.
Undoubtedly, the best part about Brynn was he was so flustered by June’s comment, there was no denying what team he played for. He could hide his sexuality behind that steely gaze all he wanted, but he was definitely lusting after his own Valentine.
Guess we have a thing or two in common.
“So, did you two ditch for this?” Aaron asked, thumb pointing toward the venue entrance. “I had no idea you were coming.”
“Let’s just say this whole week is classroom bullshit.” Brynn crossed his slender arms and sighed. “And I needed a break.”
“We ditched,” Arco agreed. Shrugged and grinned. “Warped Tour is a pretty valid excuse, don’t you think?”
“Of course.” Aaron ran a hand through his hair. He shook his head at the ground a little, blinking like he still couldn’t believe all of this was happening. Had June not seen his reaction when he spotted his cousin, he might not have believed it was a coincidence at all.
“Man.” Aaron put both his hands in his front pockets and scuffed his converse against the concrete. Disbelief was wide as the satisfaction in his eyes. He peeked up at June, a little sheepishly. “I hope this doesn’t…you know, ruin anything.”
June had forgotten they were supposed to be on a date.
“No.” His nose scrunched a little bit at Aaron’s embarrassment. He sure liked to be ruffled by the wrong things. “It’s cool.”
“We don’t have to…you know, hang out the whole time,” Arco assured. “We’re not here to intrude on your big date.”
June shot him a glare. Much the same as the one Brynn also gave him. There was no denying that, even though Arco said otherwise, he and Aaron would love the chance to spend some time together. And quite frankly, June wasn’t about to deny having two other dudes with them would ease some of the tension. Help curve the expectation of the date itself. They could hang out. Hanging out was good and normal. Totally acceptable.
June was also a little bit of a shithead, so he cracked his most wicked grin and leaned a little bit into Arco’s personal space. “We wouldn't want to intrude on your big date either.”
Arco was cool as a cucumber. Tossed an arm around Brynn’s shoulders, tilted his chin up boldly and played along. “Would it really be intruding if it was a double date?”
“You’re the worst,” Brynn hissed, shoving back against the guy’s body weight. “Get off me!”
Aaron laughed nervously. “June, I don’t think they’re on a—”
“We’re not!” Brynn snapped. He certainly was a touchy little thing. Like a pomeranian.
The pomeranian and the panther.
“Seriously, though.” Arco clapped a hand on his cousin’s shoulder and gave him a gentle shake. “Don’t let us mess this up.”
There it was again—that shameless familial love. June had never seen anything like it. The closest thing to it he could imagine was how he felt toward Angie, and even then, their relationship wasn’t built on blood. It was built on memories. Years of growing, gaining each other’s trust, and testing it time and time again. What Aaron and Arco had was untouchable, invisible, and unbreakable…admiration? June could understand why Aaron might look at Arco like that, but what intrigued him was how Arco looked at him the same way. Two sides of the same coin.
“You’re not messing it up,” June told him, and his voice didn't waver. He realized he really, truly wanted to get to know this man. And since his track record for making friends wasn’t exactly good, he figured better than to waste an opportunity. “I’d actually like it if we went together.”
The smile on Aaron’s face did things to June’s heart he wasn’t proud of.
13
I’m not Okay (I promise)
The heat was unstoppable.
Hundreds of bodies flung left and right. Sweat falling on concrete. The scuffle of Doc Martens and Converse and Vans a steady, pounding rhythm. A heavy throb pulsed in the center of June’s chest. Bass. Drums rolling and guitars squealing and hands trying to snatch him. Tugging at his clothes. Elbows jerking out hard. The weight of some brute knocking him over, and then bending to pick him back up again. Clapping him on the back, shoving him forward. Pulling him back.
Keep moving. Don’t stop. Hotter. Hotter. Too hot.
June busted from the mosh pit seams and collapsed in a patch of dry grass far away from the main stage. He panted hard, dizzy and spread-eagle on the ground. His aviators had been knocked from his face and trampled, so he closed his eyes to avoid peering up at the sun. Sweat made everything he wore cling to him, damp and disgusting. There was a cruel stitch in his side, and blood on his palms from where he had tried to catch himself and failed.
He was living the dream.
Not a moment later, Aaron threw himself on the ground beside June; halfway on top of him even. He was making a strangled, high-pitched noise. Very pained. And then came Arco much more gracefully. Folding his legs beneath him and throwing a fist into the air. He howled something of a victory, then pulled his tank top to his forehead and wiped away the moisture there. June just managed to catch sight of a large black and white tattoo curling down his ribs and around his hip. It was an orca.
“What a riot!”
June gave him a weak fist-bump, unsure if he could speak without throwing up yet. He envied the older cousin’s physique and resilient body. He’d owned the pit and somehow still came out unscathed.
“Let’s take a break,” Aaron wheezed, cupping the ribs on his left side. “I got stepped on.”
Once they had finally entered the venue, Brynn and Arco and June and Aaron had agreed to make the best of their tickets and try to see all the bands they could whether they had heard of them before or not. This meant standing in the blaring afternoon sun and getting burnt. This meant fighting the crowds for a good spot. This meant mosh pits. Lots and lots of mosh pits. A rite of passage really.
Aaron had surprised June by linking their arms together and suggesting they get in there first, green eyes blazing with determination. Smile crooked and impish on his lips. He’d dragged them both into the chaos of the circle; wasn’t afraid to throw his weight around and even sent June to the ground at one point. He’d yanked him upright again, of course, only to have June catch him by the collar and throw him into the wall of people watching. They’d tussled, screeching and laughing together until Arco had come along and trapped June in a headlock. Fought dirty to give his cousin an edge. Aaron had come out triumphant.
It felt good to rough house. So much of their time together had been spent dancing around each other. Always hyper-aware of how close their bodies were, or where they touched, or why they touched. Aaron, usually so tender and sensitive, had never shown June this rougher side before. It was exhilarating.
Overwhelmed with how heavy June felt lying there in the grass, he began popping open the buttons on his black shirt (the one he’d spent hours searching for with Angie). The material was scratchier than a T-shirt and had heavy metal buckles sitting atop his shoulders.
He stripped himself of it, grunting and struggling until his arms and chest were exposed.
“It’s too hot.”
“It’s July in Southern California,” Brynn’s voice came. “Of course, it’s hot.”
Brynn had been wary about the mosh pits and the sheer force of energy that came with them and ended up holdin
g June’s drawstring bag for them while they participated. He dug a lukewarm water bottle out of it now and chucked it at June.
“I’m hungry.” Aaron finally sat up, shaking grass from his head. “We should go find a food truck.”
Arco wholeheartedly agreed, and June wondered if he was also a bottomless pit like his cousin. He rolled to his stomach and pushed himself up with as much strength as he could muster. Gripping the water bottle in one hand and his discarded shirt in the other.
“Someone carry me…”
Aaron chuckled at his demise and was in no shape to even attempt such things. Arco, on the other hand, the least battered of the bunch, seemed unphased.
“I’ll piggyback you.” He snorted. Maybe joking, maybe not. June couldn’t tell. He didn’t care either.
He scrambled to his feet with newfound vigor, tied the shirt around his waist and wiped his sweaty, dirty palms on his jeans. Arco knelt in front of him, waited until June had a secure grip around his neck, and then hauled him straight off his feet.
“Giddyap!” June wrapped his legs tightly around Arco’s firm body, grinning wildly.
Arco Valentine was definitely one of his new favorite people.
June and Aaron sat around a picnic table in the shade, passing cans of soda and utensils out to one another over the greasy collection of food they’d stood in line twenty minutes for. June had tried his hardest to pay for his own, but Aaron insisted otherwise, pinching him in the back of the arm and giving him a sad-puppy look until he gave in.
June might have appreciated the sentiment more if it didn't make him wonder where Aaron’s role in the whole dating thing was. Did he think he was the man in the relationship? June was rational enough with his sexuality to know allowing another man to pay for him didn’t make him a girl in the relationship, but his stubborn teenager mindset still said otherwise. Not to mention, June wasn’t thrilled with how much Aaron had already spent on him this trip. Tickets and gas and a hotel room. It was a lot. When he thought about it too much, it made him feel lame.
Regardless, all thoughts of boycotting the food vanished once it sat in front of him. The smell of carne asada over a basket of fries made June’s mouth water, and he was the first one to stab his plastic fork into it. He sighed happily at the flavors on his tongue, glad the mosh pit vertigo had passed almost as quickly as it has come.
“I love Mexican food.” June hummed. “Especially in California. It’s so much better than on the East Coast.”
Aaron merely smiled at him, twisting his fork into the food and taking a much smaller bite. For someone with as big an appetite as his, the act of eating was always rather polite. He didn’t put his elbows on the table or anything. Swallowed completely before talking.
“Is there anything you do like about the East Coast?”
June shook his head. “Not especially.”
They ate in silence for a few moments, finally cooling off now that the direct sunlight wasn’t beating down on them. Slowly relaxing beside one another until their shoulders brushed. June had put his shirt back on, but it was still unbuttoned and open over his chest because while they’d stood in line, he’d caught Aaron looking him up and down; taking him in. June liked it. Wanted to see more of it.
“Have you ever thought about moving?”
Aaron’s question was harmless enough, but it rang louder than the music from the stage in June’s ears. Made him click his teeth together and set his jaw tight so he wouldn’t retort the first words that came to mind.
Everything regarding his life back in North Carolina was a touchy subject for June, but the topic of his future was especially so. He had no plans. No goals. No big dreams. No choices…
For the sake of not ruining their date or the brightness in Aaron’s eyes, June pulled himself together and forced a smile to try and make light of the conversation.
“What do you think I’m doing in that cabin?”
Aaron gaped at June, oblivious to the fact that he was using humor to cover for his insecurities. “Yeah, okay.” He huffed. Poked around their food a bit. “Seriously?”
“No.” June rolled his eyes. “I’m just here for the summer. You know that.”
“No, I mean, seriously, have you ever thought about moving?”
June made the mistake of meeting Aaron’s gaze this time. Saw through the amusement to something softer. Something that should be locked away and guarded and not glaringly obvious. Aaron wanted to know the answer because he was hopeful. Because any normal teenager on their first date with someone would have thoughts of their potential future together. Aaron was just really bad at hiding it.
“I-I don’t kno—”
“Hey!” Arco’s loud voice cut him off. “Sorry, we took so long. The lines were ridiculous.” He swung himself into the opposite side of the picnic table and set down a red plastic tray with two meals on it. Brynn was a heartbeat behind him, carrying cold bottles of water.
“You mean, you couldn’t decide what you wanted.” The younger teen grimaced. “Picky.”
“I’m not picky,” Arco shot back, all smiles.
June couldn’t begin to understand why Brynn was so defensive and grumpy, but he was grateful for the distraction nonetheless. Aaron wouldn’t ask him personal questions in the presence of someone they didn’t know very well—maybe Arco but not Brynn. It was a mild relief.
“You’re literally the pickiest person in the world.” Brynn reached for the tray and slid a burger and fries toward him.
“Just because I don’t eat meat doesn’t make me picky.” Arco plucked a fry from the plate and popped it in his mouth.
“You don’t eat meat?” June scoffed, happy to change the conversation. He glanced to Aaron for confirmation and then back again. Pointed his fork toward the older Valentine. “Why?”
“Because I don’t support animal cruelty.” Arco, confident as ever, picked up his garden burger and took a bite. Chewed as politely as Aaron normally did. Swallowed before going on. “It doesn't mean I’m picky.”
“No.” June shook his head, not totally understanding but accepting it. “But it does mean you’re weird.” He’d never met a dude vegetarian before.
“Incredibly weird,” Brynn agreed.
“Alright then, I’m weird.” Arco shrugged. “I can handle that.”
The rest of their lunch break was spent bickering back and forth and taking jabs at Arco to see just how many he could deflect (all of them). Little by little becoming closer and more open with each other. Chipping away at the invisible block of ice that separated strangers from friendship. They laughed; wholeheartedly and loudly until June couldn’t help but wish they were coming back to the cabin with Aaron and him. No doubt Angie would get a kick out of Brynn’s endless sass. And she would love an opportunity to piggyback on Arco (since he seemed to be giving them away).
June didn’t make friends easily, but there was something about the dynamic between the four of them sitting together, not a care in the world. It was as if Aaron had always meant to find June; to share this new sensation with him. To bridge the gap between his reservations and all the awesome people he’d yet to meet.
If he didn’t know any better, he’d say Aaron brought out the best in him. Somehow wading the muddy, tainted waters surrounding his heart and purifying them. Leading others in. Making sure they were safe to stay. Creating something both blissful and terrifying.
By the time the four of them walked back toward the main stage, June had cleared a spot in his mental filing cabinet, labeled it Brynn and Arco and tucked it in neatly beside all the other Aaron folders. Left it there to collect memories he could later seek comfort in.
June had never believed in love at first sight. Not until today. July seventh, 2004.
He never believed he could look across a sea of strangers, eyes blown open wide, and feel his heart start thumping instantly in his chest. He never believed he’d stop dead in his tracks, a statue amid the madness. Locked in tight to the pure euphoria shining bac
k at him. So brilliant and so moving it put even the sun to shame.
June never believed his life could change like that. In a moment. In a second. Caught between awe and aspiration. Losing control of everything he thought was righteous in the world. Wiping a slate clean and making room for pure, divine revelation. Everything before did not matter. Everything after would never be the same.
June didn’t believe in love at first sight. But while standing in the middle of Seaside Park, Ventura, California, it hit him with the force of a freight train. Sent him sprawling, bleeding and exposed all over the floor. Not a day would go by, from here on out, where June wouldn’t come back to his moment or this feeling and remember it as the single greatest thing that ever happened to him.
A band he didn’t know stood upon that mighty stage rocking the world around him. Splitting open the Earth and swallowing him down into an unknown, glorious place. The screaming, the whining, the belting of the very words he couldn’t pull from his subconscious but felt so strongly it made him weak. June felt both shattered, and suddenly whole. Like he’d been missing this his entire life.
He grasped Aaron’s shoulder for support, and fat tears sprung from his eyes. Dripped uselessly down his cheeks. He didn’t care. Boys weren’t supposed to cry, but he didn’t care.
“W-Who are they?”
It was so loud June was amazed Aaron understood him. After all, he couldn’t hear his gentle laugh in response. Couldn’t feel the weight of his arm suddenly slung around his shoulders either.
Aaron shamelessly pulled June close. Kissed the side of his head for no apparent reason and yelled in his ear three words he would never, ever forget.
“My Chemical Romance!”
The moment the band finished, Aaron helped lift June over the metal barricade separating the stage from the screaming, flailing fans. Watched him race two other crazed individuals toward the setlist closest to them (the one the lead singer had been reading off of) and snag it not a moment too soon. Security caught the other two. June had made it out, tumbling off the side of the stage and then sprinting away with his prize.
The Maple Effect Page 25