Saving Sam

by Lynnette Beers

  After another chug of Stella, Sam took Kim by the hand and led her to the darkened room next door. The music thudded so loudly it made her chest pulsate. Sam finished her beer and set the empty glass on a tall table. Then she and Kim found an unoccupied corner of the dance floor and moved their bodies to the beat. As Sam glanced around at all the strobing lights, her vision became fuzzy—the Xanax numbing every fiber of her body. She placed her hands on Kim’s hips and ground her pelvis into her butt then buried her face in her neck. The drumming beat energized her. She moved her hands to Kim’s quads and pulled her body closer. The music, lights, and bodies dancing nearby became frenzied and more intense, but Sam slid her hands down Kim’s thighs and felt a heat rush through her body.

  Sam peered over Kim’s shoulder and saw nothing but blurred lights and shadows swaying to the beat. Her neck and face dripped with sweat. Another cold beer would cool her off. Sam left Kim on the dance floor and approached the bar. She pulled out a ten and some change and tossed it all on the counter, then ordered another Stella Artois. A few coins chinked to the floor, but she didn’t bother to retrieve them.

  Kim approached her and leaned against the bar. “You okay?”

  “Thirsty,” Sam said and pointed to her mouth then glanced again at the dance floor.

  “Can we leave soon? It’s way too crowded tonight. Plus, I’m doing an early ride tomorrow morning and need to get at least a good, solid six hours of sleep tonight.”

  Sam grabbed her beer from the bar, leaving the change from the ten on the counter, and interlaced her fingers into Kim’s. She led them both back to the dance area. For the next several minutes, Sam moved her body to the thumping bass while Kim stood to the side of the dance floor. At one point, Sam lost her girlfriend in the crowd—the women all looking the same with their fit, petite bodies in generic outfits. Sam spun her head around in search of Kim, but any time she scanned the area, she only saw a blur of lights. As she took more sips of beer, she continued to get lost in the pulsing music and swayed her hips and shoulders to the beat.

  After fifteen minutes on the dance floor, Sam felt a hand clench her shoulder. She spun around to see Kim not looking too happy.

  “Let’s get you home,” Kim said and gripped her hand in Sam’s then hauled her off the dance floor. She didn’t say another word. They left the bar and walked a couple paces down the sidewalk in the cool air. Late but busy in Hillcrest, cars whooshed past. Sam tried to get her bearings.

  Sam grabbed ahold of a parking meter then staggered toward Kim’s car. The chilly air cleared Sam’s head a bit. She calculated that she’d taken a total of two and a half Xanax tabs—and then chugged two beers. By the time she got in the car, she couldn’t keep her eyes fully open, but she managed to get a few words out. “Kim, this isn’t...it isn’t the way I wanted tonight to end.”

  Kim didn’t say a word as she backed out of the parking spot and merged with the traffic. She increased the volume of the music in the car—some frenzied electronic dance music that made the mirrors and console rattle.

  Sam rolled her head from side to side—her vision blurring with each slight shift of her eyes. In a stupor, she drooled and stammered then attempted to talk. “Being with you at the...at the zoo...in the reptile enclosure place today was pretty nice...until I got those texts from Annie. Then here I am...fucked up in my girlfriend’s car after being in a...after dancing in a lesbian bar with...probably the cutest girl in there. I shouldn’t have—”

  “I’m not letting you drive home like this. You’ll stay the night with me.” Kim stared straight ahead, her brow furrowed and her lips pursed. She inched down University and neared her neighborhood. “Girlfriend? What’s that about?”

  “Too soon...to call you that?” Sam grimaced.

  “Depends on what’s going on with you tonight. You seem pretty wasted. Plus, we’ve only been going out for a few weeks. Well, and not actually going out much at all. Not sure I’m ready for the title of girlfriend.”

  Sam set her head on the headrest and stared straight ahead. The bright headlights blinded her, so she shut her eyes but couldn’t fully relax due to the EDM mix echoing in the vehicle.

  “You seem...preoccupied again. What exactly did Annie tell you earlier?”

  While she recalled all that Annie revealed to her, Sam clenched her jaw but only managed to get a few words out. “Just some...basic updates about the investigation, police talk mostly. They’ve determined it was definitely...a hit and run. Pretty cut and dry, really.” The lies continued to pour from her lips. She repositioned her body in the seat and stared through the windshield.

  “We’ll get you home to my place, get some water in you and maybe some food.”

  The lights up ahead were less blurry, less frenzied. The Xanax or the beer or the shock of what she’d learned earlier started to wear off slightly. They both remained quiet as Kim coasted down the long, busy street. Cafés and bars along University swarmed with people. Sam didn’t feel ready to end the night.

  She shut her eyes and tried to tap into the buzz she felt at the bar, but all she could think about was Robert barely clinging to life and about the awful information revealed to her that Johnny was the driver of the other vehicle. Her neck and shoulders tensed as she once again became filled with anger. “It’s been hard seeing Robert in such bad shape,” she finally said, her eyes fixated on the black road ahead. “He and I were always close, and...I miss him, you know? I guess today things really hit me hard.”

  At the stoplight, Kim reached a hand over and set it on Sam’s cheek. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through.”

  “I’m sorry you saw me this way. Years ago, I was prescribed Xanax to...help me cope with...some things. I rarely ever need the meds, but today I think I hit my limit with all the stress about Robert. Pretty stupid to take that medication with a beer.”

  “Two beers,” Kim said and pursed her lips.

  “Right, two.” Sam shook her head and slouched forward. Her ears buzzed, and her head spun. “I shouldn’t have suggested going out tonight. I should’ve taken you up on that offer of...enjoying some time with you on the couch...or in your bed. I’m surprised you even want me to stay the night.”

  Kim braked at the next stoplight and turned down the music; she stared at Sam for a moment then shook her head and breathed out a soft laugh. She reached a hand over and set it on Sam’s leg. “We have more in common than you think. I’m on anti-depressants. I don’t tell a lot of people. I guess I sometimes feel ashamed to need meds to cope, but...they work to keep me stable. I struggled with an eating disorder when I was a teenager. It’s all pretty much under control, but those meds are kind of my safety net, so...I get it. I mean, you needing to take Xanax isn’t a bad thing. I see it as helping you cope with your brother’s accident, but...alcohol and benzos definitely don’t mix.”

  “Definitely not,” Sam said and relaxed in the seat. She felt relieved that Kim seemed to understand, but she was more grateful that the Xanax and beer continued to blot out the awful images in her head.

  “I might be crazy for saying this after tonight, but I still want to see you. Whatever’s going on, just know I’m here if you want to talk. Or, if you want to be quiet with me, I’m here for that, too. I’m bummed I’m going away soon, but...a little sexting might be fun while I’m gone.”

  Despite still being buzzed from the beer and high from the Xanax, Sam felt a heat rush through her entire body and settle in her lower abdomen. With her libido piqued, she wondered if she could muster up the energy to have sex with Kim after they got into the bedroom, but at this point, all she wanted to do was fall into bed and sleep off this horrible night. Sam shut her eyes and felt soothed by the gentle rhythm of the car as it edged closer to Kim’s apartment.

  Once at Kim’s building, Sam exited the car and fell to her knees when she tried to walk. Her knees stung with cuts from the sharp gravel lining the walkway. Humiliated, she stayed on all fours, unable to move. Kim knelt next to her and rubb
ed her back gently. Sam stared at the dark pavement and tried to push herself up into a standing position, but her legs and arms were too weak.

  “Next time, we stay in and order take-out and drink iced tea or Diet Coke.” Kim pulled the hair back from Sam’s face. “I’ll help you stand, okay? Sam, you’re gonna be fine. Let me help you.”

  Sam managed to get up with Kim’s help and took small, calculated steps closer to the apartment building. The tall lamps along the walkway provided dim lighting as Sam plodded forward. They finally made it to the apartment where Kim led her into the bedroom. Sam’s head sunk into the soft pillow. The room continued to spin. When she closed her eyes, the dizziness subsided a bit. She relaxed into the crook of Kim’s arm and allowed her to guide a bottle of water to her lips. Not able to lift her head, Sam relied on Kim to pour tiny bits of water into her mouth.

  After Kim set the water on the nightstand, she joined Sam in bed then pulled the comforter over them. Finally, Sam felt safe and set her arm over Kim’s midsection. Still buzzed from the Xanax, Sam closed her eyes and felt her body become even more limp. Her breathing softened as a sense of calm washed over her. There’d be no sex tonight—not with the room spinning and her ears buzzing. Sam nuzzled her face into Kim’s neck and felt a cloak of sleepiness shroud her.

  Chapter Seventeen

  San Diego: Autumn 2014

  SAM STEPPED DOWN the rungs of the ladder then hopped onto the sand and dashed to the water’s edge, focusing on the little girl plopped down in the shallow zone close to shore. She heard the child’s sobs from several yards away. Once she was almost in the water, Sam shed her bulky lifeguarding jacket and tossed it onto the damp sand. She didn’t bother to remove her long-sleeved T-shirt as she sloshed through the surf to get nearer to the child. Sam recognized immediately that the kid had been stung by a stingray; she knew she must administer first aid as soon as possible to neutralize the venom before it did too much damage to the tissue.

  The glassy ocean often created seemingly safe conditions to beachgoers. Unsuspecting swimmers like this girl would step on a stingray and end up with a painful sting on the bottom of the foot, the barbs piercing the skin and causing unbearable pain.

  Sam trudged through the shallow water and within seconds reached the young victim and scooped her into her arms, then tromped through the water to get back to shore. By now her T-shirt was sopping wet and saturated with the child’s blood—the bright red so dark against the white cloth.

  It’d been a quiet Saturday up until this moment. Weary from not much sleep, Sam sat atop her lifeguard station all morning wrapped in her thick lifeguarding jacket. She’d been perched on her tower replaying what she learned yesterday about the man who tried to kill Robert. Still stunned that it was Johnny who’d caused the accident, Sam couldn’t quite wrap her head around the latest information. She awoke in the wee hours of morning in Kim’s bed but drifted back to sleep once she’d taken another Xanax.

  Tired and foggy-headed, Sam tried her best to focus on the injured child. She carried the girl onto dry sand and kneeled next to her, gently holding the foot in her hand. She studied the serrated skin and seeping blood. She glanced at her tower to see if the relief lifeguard was here yet. Almost her lunchbreak, she’d been looking forward to a twenty-minute run on the beach and a dip in the ocean, but with this child sobbing and in intense pain, Sam wouldn’t leave her side until she could provide relief.

  “Let’s have you lie back so I can get a good look at that foot.” Sam gently guided the girl’s body onto the sand then propped the foot up on her own leg. She’d become adept over the years at not conveying how severe an injury was and typically downplayed any scary situation. She examined the foot to see if the stingray’s barb was still in the skin, but the blood kept pouring out from the wound, which prevented her from assessing the damage. She kept the foot elevated above the girl’s heart, hoping to slow the bleeding.

  “What’s your name, sweetie?” Sam asked.

  “Olivia,” she said, continuing to cry. “I think I got cut by glass. It hurts really bad.”

  Sam had seen many stingray injuries, but she’d never experienced this sort of injury herself. On a day like this when the surf was calm, those rays lurked under the water along the bottom of the ocean, waiting to sting anyone walking in the shallow area.

  “You got stung by a stingray. It’s very painful. I’m Sam, one of the lifeguards on duty today. How old are you?”

  “Seven.”

  “Olivia, you’re pretty brave for seven. Where’s your mom or dad? They around here?”

  “I...don’t know. My mom...she’s up there with my brothers. One of them is a little baby. I’m...big enough that she...let me stand in the shallow area by myself. My big brother went with me, but then...he went to get his boogie board, but that’s when I got hurt.” Fear washed over Olivia’s face, and she started to cry even harder. Her mouth was agape, her jaw began to tremble, and her breathing became more and more erratic. Next, Olivia’s lips turned blue. “Stingrays are...poisonous, right? Am I...going to die?”

  “No, kiddo, you’re not gonna die.” Sam helped Olivia sit up then gently rubbed her back and further assessed her overall condition. “How about you take a deep breath, like this.” Sam slowly inhaled air into her nose and blew it out through her mouth. “Deep breath, sweetie. Nice slow breaths. The stingray got you with its barb, sort of like the tail. It’s gonna hurt pretty bad, but I can help decrease the pain. We need to first find your mom and move you up by the lifeguard tower. What’s your mom’s name? Do you know what she’s wearing? I’ll have the other guard look for her and holler out her name to find her.”

  “Karen Draper. She’s in a Padres T-shirt and shorts. I don’t remember what color shorts.” Olivia continued to moan softly and rock back and forth. “Sam? Am I gonna lose my foot?”

  “No, honey, that’s not going to happen. We’ll get you all better soon. I know this is scary, but you need to trust me when I say you’re not going to be in pain for a whole lot longer.” Sam lifted Olivia into her arms and carried her to the lifeguard station, all the while talking to her to get her to not hyperventilate. By the time Sam reached her tower, the young rookie was there to relieve her for lunch.

  “Did the stingray inject poison in my foot? Is that why it hurts so much? Is there venom in my body now?” Olivia let out low, guttural moans and winced in pain. Her breathing had become erratic again.

  “There’s probably a little bit of venom in your foot. If your mom can get your foot in really hot water soon, it’ll neutralize the toxins and decrease the pain. Do me a favor, call dispatch,” Sam said to the young guy on the tower. “Miller and Hernandez should be close by right now. Tell them we need immediate aid for a kid who’s been stung by a stingray. Then after you do that, try and find a woman named Karen Draper. She’s probably up by the rocks over there. She’s wearing a Padres T-shirt and should be with a baby and another kid.”

  Sam set Olivia onto the warm sand next to the tower. After she retrieved the first aid kit from the lifeguard station, she pulled out gloves and a clear plastic jug of sterile water then sat next to Olivia.

  “I’m gonna pour this on your foot to wash off the blood,” Sam said and dribbled water onto Olivia’s foot. “This might sting. You’re being brave, sweetie. Hang in there.”

  Sam examined the site where the barb had injected the toxin. Blood continued to ooze from where the stingray’s barb had sliced the skin. She pulled out a few nonstick gauze pads from the first aid kit and ripped one open then dabbed the bottom of Olivia’s foot where the stingray’s barb had pierced the skin. She continued to apply pressure to the wound as she spoke quietly to Olivia and explained what she was doing. Olivia writhed in pain and leaned her head against Sam’s arm.

  As Sam continued to apply pressure to the wound, a young woman with a baby perched on her hip stormed over to the tower saying she was Olivia’s mother and asking what’d happened. A boy trotted behind the mother, racing up to
Olivia and crouching at her side. A few seconds later, Lieutenants Miller and Hernandez arrived in the jeep. The guys jumped out of the vehicle. Travis carried a huge black box and set it near Sam. Then he kneeled in the sand and examined Olivia’s foot. Carlos Hernandez crouched down and handed Sam more gauze pads.

  “You must be Karen.” Sam didn’t even look up at the woman and continued to tend to Olivia’s foot.

  “Wow, that stingray got her good,” Travis said then set a hand on Olivia’s leg right above the wound. “Kiddo, we’re gonna get you some relief. I had this happen to me a long time ago when I was just a young punk surfing up in Cardiff. I was only fifteen at the time. Thought I’d never get relief. You’re being way braver than I was. You’ll be fine by tomorrow.”

  “Olivia, I’m here, baby,” Karen said and hovered over Sam. “I shouldn’t have let her go in the water by herself.”

  “The rays have been especially bad this season,” Carlos said.

  “Why is it bleeding so much?” Karen asked. “Is that normal?”

  “Feet bleed a lot,” Travis said. “This is a lot for a little kid to handle, but I assure you, she’ll be fine. Can you get her right home? The sooner you get that foot in really hot water, the better.”

  “We live in Alpine,” Karen said. “That’s probably an hour and a half at this hour. Probably take a lot longer if we hit traffic, especially on a Saturday.”

  “Miller, we need to get her foot in hot water within a few minutes,” Sam said and stared at Travis. “You know the protocol. Alpine’s way too far. The more we wait, the more that venom is going to do damage to the tissue and cause more pain. We need to get her to headquarters.” Sam wasn’t going to leave Olivia’s side, even if it meant forfeiting her lunchbreak.