I am Paul - The Little One.

by Tim Green

accurate. He showed tremendous passion about our heritage. He expounded on Abraham, Joseph, Jacob, Moses, David and even Solomon. I was astounded by his wisdom and was greatly inspired by his zealousness for my God, as I shared that very same zeal.

  I sat in the counsel and gazed intently at Stephen. I then saw how his human face suddenly took on the appearance of an angel. My inspiration quickly turned to despair when Stephen began to refer to Jesus of Nazareth as the fulfilment of my God raising up another prophet like unto Moses. Thus claiming this Jesus to be Christ, the Messiah, the King of the Jews.

  My heart exploded with fury as those blasphemous words reached my ears. And how infuriated I became for the disrespect that Stephen showed towards our holy Temple. How dare he imply that my God no longer dwells in our sacred Temple. How dare he state that my God does not dwell in temples built with human hands. How could he deem it even possible for my God to dwell in the hearts of men by the Holy Spirit. The more Stephen spoke the more outraged we all became.

  Without any fear in his heart, Stephen boldly announced that we were a stubborn and stiff-necked people, "You are uncircumcised both in heart and in hearing. You always resist the Holy Spirit as your forefathers also did!" He shouted with the courage and tenacity of a fierce lion. Every bit of admiration that I had developed in my heart for this young man instantly turned to hatred and rage in a microscopic moment. How could this young man even refer to us in the same breath as those, who under Moses hardened their hearts in the wilderness. How dare he accuse us as being of the same ancient example of our forefathers unbelief. How dare he imply that we were cut from the same cloth as them and haven't mixed the word we received from God with faith in our hearts.

  "How could this be?" I questioned, "only the Messiah when he comes could be the fulfilment of all this!" I became confused and inwardly began to question the ancient beliefs of our forefathers. How could we have not heard from God. Our forefathers had diligently written down every encounter and word spoken from God. I had reverently studied and memorised our ancient writings out of the Law, the Psalms and the Prophets. Was he proclaiming that this Jesus of Nazareth was the fulfilment of the Law, the Psalms and the Prophets?

  "Jesus Christ, the Just and Righteous one is the promised Messiah," yelled Stephen at the top of his voice. He could be clearly heard above the noise of the angry crowd, "you had Him, the Prince of Life betrayed and put to death on a cross. You betrayers and murderers!"

  I could not detect a quiver of fear in Steven's voice. He was outrageously bold and fuelled with confidence. Suddenly the high priest handed me his robe. Instantly my arms were filled with the outer garments of all my fellow Pharisees. They too were cut deeply to the heart as I was. But Stephen being full of the Holy Spirit, looked up into heaven and having his spiritual eyes opened, saw the glory of God and Jesus Christ. He cried out, "I see heaven open and the Son of Man, standing at the right hand of God." We, all in one accord seized Stephen and shouted together in harmony. Some people placed their hands over their ears to prevent any further blasphemy from desecrating them.

  I ran behind those who seized Stephen. They dragged him outside the city gates. My arms were now suddenly full to the brim with men's coats. Subconsciously I had accepted them during the adrenaline rush and the mass hysteria of the crowd. The Law of Moses was specific about punishing blasphemers. They were to be taken outside the city gates and stoned to death. The human stampede had caused a dust cloud to arise and it envelope us as Stephen was driven out of the city gates. My heart pounded in my chest as I became enveloped with the murderous chants of the mob. I was hypnotised as adrenalin raced through my body and I became overwhelmed by a violent force. It was my first stoning.

  The crowd all stopped running and made a huge circle around Stephen. The thick cloud of dust began to settle once again. The dust clung to every fibre of my being. As the dust settled, I could see Stephen standing with his arms stretched upwards towards the sky. His eyes were firmly fixed on heaven. I quietly watched as the crowd gathered huge stones. Some people only took what they could carry in their hands. Some only took a stone for each hand while others gathered as many stones as they could. They stored them in front of their robes. By this time I was covered with everyone's outer garments. They had all laid their garments down at my feet, thinking that I was the young man responsible for the safekeeping of their clothes.

  Stephen calmly called upon his God as they began to stone him, "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit." He knelt down and cried in a loud voice, "Lord do not lay this charge of sin against them." Then he fell asleep as his spirit left his body. Although Stephen's spirit had departed from his body, his accusers continued to annihilate his lifeless body with stones. Some walked up to his dead body that lay in the dust and continued to hurl insults at him. While others spat upon him in disgust. They were forbidden by the Law of Moses to touch anything that was dead, thus making themselves unclean. So they didn't touch his dead body with any part of their own bodies.

  I stood there watching the lifeless body of Stephen. I was still mesmerized by the entire event. Slowly my arms became free of garments as one by one the counsellors of the Sanhedrin collected them. The echoes of Stephen's words rang over and over again in my ears. "How dare he, how dare he," I whispered to myself, "how dare he deem this act of ours as a sin against God?" We were following the Laws of our forefathers to put to death those who blasphemed. My anger turned to hatred and my hatred to thoughts of murder.

  I kept asking myself in my innermost thought chamber, "Who is this man Jesus, from Nazareth, that this young man Stephen would embrace and sacrifice his own life for Him?" How could a young man so full of life, abandon his future and destiny to promote this Jesus as our long awaited Messiah? I did not sleep very well at all that night. The days events continued to replay themselves over and over again in my heart and in my mind. How could he say that our hearts and our ears must be circumcised? "Blasphemy," I say, "blasphemy!"

  Our Law requires that we be circumcised on the eighth day after our birth, by having our foreskin remove. How could I have my heart and ears circumcised anyway? It's impossible for my heart to be cut away and I still live. All that night I tossed and turned in my bed looking for answers to questions that made no sense to me at all. That night men devoted to Stephen carried his body away and buried him. They made great laminations over his dead body. That night I made up my mind. I was going to ensure that this new movement of human origins was going to be overthrown and come to nothing. And I was going to be the one to destroy it.

  I hated Jesus of Nazareth with a passion. I thought He was an imposter.

  I am Saul, Saul of Tarsus, a Pharisee, son of a Pharisee, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew, and an enforcer of the Law of Moses. A protector of our ancient traditions.

  Brighter than the Midday Sun. #2

  I was on my way to the synagogues in Damascus, a city in the Province of Syria with letters in my coat pocket from the high priest in Jerusalem. These letters granted me permission to detain and arrest both men and women who were followers of Jesus Christ. My desire was to bring them bound in chains back to Jerusalem and humiliate them there before the high priest and his counsel. Christ's followers were merely a band of crazy disciples who embraced a dangerous ideology. They called themselves the "Way" as they claimed to be divinely enlightened and illuminated with truth by God Himself. However, to me they were a mockery to everything that I stood for. They were an embarrassment to my core beliefs that I obtained from the Law of Moses, the Psalms and the Prophets.

  I went about breathing out harsh threats of slaughter against the disciples of the Lord Jesus. They were a menace and I wanted to blot them out, along with their idiotic philosophy. While I journeyed along the road with my companions, as I came near to Damascus, suddenly there shone all around me a bright light from heaven. This light was brighter than the midday sun in all its glorious splendour. Immediately I fell to the ground in humility and embraced its dust, in an empty attempt to cover my
feeble humanity. I could taste the dust of the earth in my mouth as it dried up all my saliva. The dust was a fearful reminder that I was a mere man in the presence of a sovereign God and that we had been created by Him from mere dirt. The dust had found its way up my nose and into my eyes. That's when I realised that I'd been blinded my entire life by the dust of the ground. My fallen human nature had prevented me from seeing the truth.

  Then I heard a strong bold voice call out my name from heaven, "Saul, Saul why are you persecuting me?" Shaken and stunned to my core I asked trembling, "Who are you Lord?" The voice replied, "I am Jesus of Nazareth whom you are persecuting. It is hard for you to kick against My will." The glowing glory that shone from the face of Jesus Christ went to work deep down inside me, deep into my heart of hearts. His divine power began to dissolve my wicked murderous heart as it began to pierce my spirit.

  Astonished and in awe my entire body now trembled uncontrollably while I lay upon the ground. With a shaky voice and exempt of