I look at her, really look at her: she's gorgeous with that blonde hair, shiny and silky, her pale blue eyes and her svelte but strong physique.
Her tits are big and I wonder if they're real because they're the only soft part in her perfectly toned body.
Aubrey is softer and I know how full and soft her tits are, I know they're real because I touched them.
But while Margaux’s beauty stops at her exterior, I know how sweet, funny, and kind Aubrey is.
She's been kind to me even if I’ve been nothing but an asshole to her since that last night in Hilton Head.
I'm still afraid that if she knew where I come from, she’d never deem me worthy of her time.
And that's not even the only reason she has to tell me that she doesn't want anything to do with me.
I know that since I saw her again, I’ve been nothing but a cold hearted bully towards her.
For fear of being ridiculed at school and because I believed that she fucked with my drink as payback for ignoring her.
So I look at Margaux and she isn't any different than all the girls I fucked before, at my old school, who wanted me only because I was the popular quarterback.
Regardless of the veiled threat that she just issued, I know that if I got involved with her, it would be like it's always been in the past.
It would be about sex and about power.
It might be too late with Aubrey because of how I behaved or because she might really think that I'm beneath her once I tell her why I ignored her and how ashamed I am about my parents’ actions, about the circumstances surrounding my conception and about the way my parents are still using me to hurt each other.
But I also know that if I'm to have a chance to earn her forgiveness and to tell her how I really feel about her, I have to open up and the truth has to come from me.
Not from Margaux or from the rumour grapevine.
So I look at my date and take her hand in mine, kiss her knuckles in a chivalrous way and tell her that I’ll drive her home.
She looks at me as if she weren't sure about what's going on.
“Babe, I’m not sure that we’d have the house to ourselves tonight. Could we go to your place or a hotel?”
“I’m sorry, Margaux. You're beautiful and very smart but I don't think that we should be anything more than good friends.”
She narrows her eyes, I can see that she's pissed off.
“You're making a big mistake, Devon. Aubrey is into my brother and—”
“Tell people at school what you want. I can't date you. And this isn't about Aubrey. This is about me. I don't think we’d be right for each other.”
15.
Grovelling
Aubrey
I LEAVE MY PARENTS house with a heavy heart: I'm happy about the new sibling but I don't really know how to feel about my parents.
Before last year, before I learned about how they'd been hiding Abi and Alex’s existence from me, I thought I had the best parents in the world.
When I learned how their lie had affected not only me but also Alex and Abi, I started to look at them with new eyes.
Daddy’s many absences weren't due to him working hard for his family anymore but to his insatiable drive for money and power.
And the way he tried to basically sell Abi off to secure a business deal, only confirmed that I really didn't know my father.
My relationship with Mom had always been loving and I always thought that she was strict with me to compensate for Daddy being away so much, to make sure that I didn't grow up like a spoiled brat.
But after I learned how her refusal to take in Alex and Abi meant that my siblings grew up without a family, I started to see her differently too.
And ok, they might not be trying to sell me off like they did with my sister, but I realised that Mom is no different than Daddy.
She's selfish, she doesn't care that she's putting me in a situation that makes me uncomfortable because it will make her life easier.
My accepting to show Tyler around, means that Daddy can cut back on his work load and his travels, so she'll have the life she couldn't have when I was little.
I don't blame her entirely but she certainly puts her needs before everyone else's.
I slow down because it's starting to rain and I'm just on that bendy local road that leads to Chaz’s house, the one where they had that horrible car accident last spring.
I feel relieved when I pull into the driveway: I’m still an inexperienced driver and I think that when it rains, the roads become more dangerous because people seem to drive more recklessly.
My relief is short lived though because I spot a leather jacket clad form sitting on my door step before I even see his bike further to the side of my jeep.
Teague.
I sigh and get out of the car as slowly as humanly possible.
I'm not up for another confrontation and for being told how I’m a lying, scheming slut.
He's as gorgeous as ever, sitting with his head bent and resting on his knees, his long legs clad in light blue jeans.
His blonde hair looks darker in the cloudy late afternoon and he must have heard the car but he hasn't seen me approach him because he doesn't lift his head until I speak.
“Teague.”
I don't know what else to say and any words that might have been ready to leave my mouth, catch in my throat when our eyes meet.
His blue eyes look darker than normal, I’ve seen them look like that when Teague is excited or troubled.
He stands up and steps aside to let me unlock my door.
“Can I talk to you for a second, Aubrey?”
A big part of me wants to say no, that there's nothing else to say after the way he accused me of trying to get him expelled and after he implied that I was easy for getting naked with him after we had brunch together.
If that's the opinion he has of me, what's the fucking point?
But something in his gaze pulls at my heart in a way that surprises me and pisses me off at the same time because I’m sick of being vulnerable in front of these guys.
I can't afford to be used and then be accused and ignored.
I have too much self-respect to allow them to continue to toy with my emotions.
But yeah, those eyes make it hard for me to refuse him and I avert my gaze when I invite him in.
We're standing in my living room and he looks at me for a long moment, as if his coming to see me happened on a whim and now that he's here, he doesn’t know what to say.
“Teague, I don't have a lot of time. I’ve spent all afternoon with my parents and I need to do my homework. Is there anything else you need to add to the stuff you said to me this morning?”
He takes a step towards me but then stops when he sees in my eyes that I’m really done with this game.
“I’m sorry, Aubrey. I know you didn't do it. I’m sorry I didn't believe you. I swear I’m not trying to blame this on Devon but it made sense that whatever they found in our systems could only have been in the drinks you handed us.”
I sigh and ask him what's changed since this morning.
“Teague, I can't prove my innocence and if you didn't believe me the multiple times I swore to you that I had nothing to do with it, what's different now? Seriously, I'm done playing games with you and the others. It hurts too much that you think that I could ever—”
He interrupts me:
“But this is what I’m trying to tell you, princess. I don't believe you could. I never really wanted to believe it and I felt like I was going insane when—”
He sees my reluctance to believe in his change of heart and he explains:
“It made sense that you’d wanna punish Devon for fucking you and then ghosting you. Especially because it was your first time. But this morning, after I was a total asshole to you, Knox and Landon made us realise that it didn't make sense. That if you really wanted retribution on Devon, you could have told everyone how he completely fucked up your first time. You
could've destroyed his reputation before even attempting something like drugging him. But you never said anything, you were kind to Devon despite everything, like you were kind to us. I'm sorry if I didn't see it at first but—”
“Knox and Landon? They believe I’m innocent?”
He nods.
“Yeah. We spoke straight after practice and I have to admit that they made me see sense. I'm very ashamed of the way I judged you, Abi. I didn't believe what my heart was telling me all along about you. I believed the worst because it was easier. And if you never want to speak to me again, I’ll have to live with it. But I hope you’ll give me a chance to prove myself to you and earn your forgiveness.”
I archive the information that Landon and Knox went to speak to Teague and Devon on my behalf for later and look at him, trying to decide what to say, not missing the hope in his blue eyes.
“Teague, you really hurt me. I don't know if—”
He takes my hand in his and that touch burns my skin so much that I have to shy away from his touch.
I know that if I let him touch me, it’ll cloud my judgement and right now I have to use my head as well as my heart, because I can't take anymore disappointment.
“Aubrey, I need to be completely honest with you. When Devon first voiced his suspicion about you being responsible for our failed drug test, my first instinct was that he was crazy, that you’d never do anything like that.”
I look at him without hiding my scepticism and I tell him that for someone who believed me, he was certainly faking it quite well.
He sighs and he runs one of his hands through his blonde hair, something he does whenever he's nervous.
“You're right. I'm not trying to make excuses for my behaviour, princess but there's a reason why. It costs me a lot to tell you what it is and I’ll understand if it won't change your mind. I didn't wanna believe Devon's version of the truth, that he was your target and Landon and I were just collateral damage. But then I thought about what kind of drugs they found in our system: weight loss pills and diuretics. And I remember that you transferred to BHPA from Aylesbury. I know it's far fetched, now it sounds crazy to my own ear but ...”
His voice fades away and I’m lost.
I don't get it: what do the weight loss pills and my previous school have to do with why he thought that I was an evil psycho bitch?
I ask him and I know my voice is full of unconcealed incredulity but his answer shocks me.
He brings up a photo of a young boy on his phone: a blonde, really overweight early teen in an Aylesbury Prep school uniform.
I’m about to ask him who the fuck that is when the blue eyes of the boy in the photo and his little amused smirk tell me that I’m looking at a thirteen or fourteen year old Teague.
“I ... What—”
Teague looks mortified when he tells me his story.
“I started my school career at Aylesbury Prep, I went there since kindergarten. I was always the funny, fat kid. When I was little, I didn't really care but things started to change in my last year of middle school. I was starting to notice girls and every party began to be an excuse for boys and girls to kiss and ... stuff. I obviously hadn't kissed anyone yet but every time we’d play spin the bottle or stuff like that, I’d hope that it would happen.”
I understand that feeling, I was exactly the same when I started high school but I still don't get what it has to do with him not believing me.
“Then I went to Paige Rayburn’s fourteenth birthday party and we got into a game of ‘truth or dare’.”
Oh shit!
I don't say that out loud but I met Paige and I already feel sorry for young Teague.
I guess that every school has its resident mean girl and Paige was Aylesbury’s Queen Bee last year.
I was warned immediately to stay away from her, she terrorised the whole academy with her taunts and scathing social media posts.
So if she's involved in Teague's story, it can't be good.
“My best friend Matty was dating her and she had just broken up with him for some stupid reason, I can't even remember what. The reality was that there was a new boy at school that Paige was into and the party was their first outing as a couple. My bestie felt really salty about it but all our friends were at the party and we didn't wanna go home. During the game, Paige was dared to kiss either Matty or me.”
That cannot be good.
But I don't interrupt him and the conclusion to his story is even worse than I thought.
“Paige burst out laughing at the dare: she said that Matty was a sloppy kisser and I was a fat, sweaty, disgusting little kid and that I was only invited to parties because I was friends with Matty. She said that she’d rather kiss everyone else at the party and at school rather than even come close to me. She opened her purse and threw a bottle of slimming pills at me, telling me to take them all at once. Everyone was laughing and she offered a hundred bucks to any girl who would complete the dare for her and kissed me. Every girl was laughing and saying ‘eww, no!’.”
“Oh, Teague ...”
But his story isn't over.
“Those were her mom's pills, Paige apparently had the beginning of an eating disorder that for what I’ve heard she's still battling with. Normally I’d feel sorry for her but—”
“I’ve met Paige, Teague. She's a real evil Twunt. I don't know her that well but the rumour was that she threw up after every meal.”
Teague nods.
“Yeah, I’ve heard the same.”
“But Teague, please tell me that you didn't take those pills.”
“I did. Thankfully Matty was sleeping over and he woke my parents when I started vomiting. I ended up getting my stomach pumped.”
“That was horrible, Teague. I’m sorry.”
He shrugs but his expression is still intense and troubled.
“After that night, my parents agreed to help me lose weight and that summer, at camp I discovered football and fell in love with it. The weight all came off and by sophomore year there wasn't anything left of that fat kid. Not on the outside at least. I changed schools and at BHPA, I became instantly popular. I was one of the few sophomores playing varsity football. And yeah, getting girls to like me wasn't a problem anymore. I know that I let it get to my head and I got my revenge on Paige last year.”
I’m glad for him.
“How?”
“We played against Aylesbury and since we’re both LA schools, someone there threw this massive rager and we were all invited. Paige was there and she didn't recognise me. She tried to hook up with me and I turned her down.”
I nod.
“Well, she fucking deserved it, Teague.”
He doesn't look pleased.
“I know. But I was an asshole about it. I said that I’d heard that her boyfriend had dumped her because she had herpes and she was gross and fat and that if she wanted, I could lend her some much needed slimming pills. I said it in front of her whole cheerleading squad and most of Aylesbury’s football team. I know it's no excuse Aubrey, but when I heard that you’d been an Aylesbury student, I thought that somehow the whole thing could be Paige’s way to get her retribution. To get me kicked out because of slimming pills. I thought that maybe you two were friends and ...”
His voice fades away and I don't say anything at first, processing his story and how that makes me feel.
He's right, after what happened to him at those parties I kind of get why he reacted that way when he was accused of taking slimming pills. And I know it was probably irrational to think that it could be a dig at him but, was it?
If I’d been evil enough to fuck with Devon’s drink, is it that crazy to think that I could be trying to get back at him on behalf of a scorned friend?
The look of contrition in his blue eyes pulls at my heart in a way I don't want it to.
I should make him grovel and play hard to get but all it takes is finally allowing myself to look at him and see beyond the attractive bad boy, the popular football
player all the girls at school want to date.
I can't take the hurt in his eyes, I know I didn't do anything to cause it but the fact that I'm indirectly responsible for his pain and the regret that's taken that beautiful, amused glint away from him are enough to make me capitulate.
I walk up to him and only stop when my face meets his solid, muscled chest and my senses are invaded by his fresh, citrusy scent.
His arms close around me and it's a different hug than the ones we’ve shared so far.
Before today, attraction was burning hot between us every time we touched, but right now there's more.
This isn't just a hug it's an embrace, it's full of so many complicated feelings: acceptance, forgiveness, regret, fear and something a lot sweeter that we could let blossom between us if we can get past all the hurt.
And when Teague and I touch, attraction is never out of the equation and I feel its irresistible, magnetic pull when I lift my face to look into those deep blue eyes.
“Aubrey, I’m so sorry.”
“I am too.”
He drags the pad of his thumb across my bottom lip in a slow, mesmerising motion.
“What for? You didn't do anything. I should’ve believed you, princess.”
I have to summon all my self-control not to let my tongue touch the skin of his thumb, like I want to.
“I know. And a part of me is still mad at you. But I understand why you felt that way. I’ve been betrayed before and I know that trust is fragile and takes time. So I forgive you, Teague. But it might take me a while to let go of my anger.”
His hand cups my jaw and our noses touch, his warm, minty breath tickles the sensitive skin of my lips.
“It's fine. It’ll take me a while to get over my guilt. But I swear that from now on, I’ll work on trusting you.”
I wanna tell him that I’ll work on that too but as soon as his lips descend on mine, every rational thought leaves my mind and my body takes over.
My body has already forgiven Teague and I let it guide me, kissing him back with a heat that burns bright, and incinerates all the resentment to leave room only for our pure, unadulterated passion.
The Retribution: A High School Light Bully Romance (Beverly Hills Prep Academy Book 3) Page 18