Hooking

by Allen, Kristine

  Maybe Simon was right, and Sydney didn’t need my shit.

  “What the fuck did that wall ever do to you?” I spun to see my brother standing in the doorway with his arms crossed.

  “I don’t wanna fucking talk about it,” I muttered as I shoved past him to go in the kitchen. The water ran red, then pink as I cleaned my hands.

  Biding his time, he silently watched me as I ignored him.

  “You need something?” I asked without meeting his eyes.

  “You might wanna ice that shit if you plan on playing tomorrow night,” he said as he helped himself to a beer from my fridge.

  “Yeah.” I did as he said. “You tell the ol’ ladies I said thanks for the use of the stuff. I don’t have a truck or I’d bring it back.”

  “I can get it picked up.”

  “Good. Can you do it soon?”

  “Sure,” he replied cautiously.

  “You never answered me. Why are you here?”

  “Do I need a reason to stop by to see my little brother?” He took a pull on the beer as he sat at the breakfast bar. Then he set the bottle on the granite and spun it in his fingers as he appeared to think.

  “No, you don’t, but it’s not like you to stop by on a random Monday afternoon,” I said as I grabbed a bottle of water.

  His blue eyes met mine. “I wanted to see how you were holding up. Avery said they came and got the little guy this morning.”

  “Avery talks too much,” I muttered as I swallowed half the contents of the bottle.

  “Don’t let Gunny hear you talk shit about his ol’ lady,” he said with a snort of laughter. I rolled my eyes. “There’s no shame in admitting you’re hurting.” My brother seemed to be full of philosophical bullshit again.

  “Whatever,” I said in tired tone.

  “Why don’t you have Sydney come over? I think you need something to get your mind off this shit. Quit being so damn melancholy, busting up your hands and shit.” He raised his beer in salute, but I shook my head.

  “I don’t think she’ll be coming over anymore.” At least not if I couldn’t find a way to have her without fucking shit up for her. The last thing I wanted to do was be the reason she lost her job or got her ass in a sling.

  “What? Why? You were crazy about her,” he said, incredulous. I shrugged.

  “Shit changes,” I said as if it was no big deal. Except it was. A really big deal.

  My phone pinged with a message. It was Sydney asking about what she should wear for dinner. First, I placed it facedown and ignored it. Then I replied to bail on her.

  It was impulsive, and after I hit Send I regretted it, but for once I was thinking about what was best for her. I was used to getting what I wanted, and I’d wanted her. Bad. Looking back, I’d essentially bulldozed my way into her life again and used her attraction to me to get her to overlook the precarious situation I’d placed her in with her job.

  Instead of giving me relief from responsibilities and the ties of a relationship, it sucked. It left me feeling like someone had hit me in the chest with a slapshot.

  “You’re a fucking idiot,” he muttered. I glanced in his direction as I ran a hand over my mouth in frustration.

  “I think I was beginning to love that little kid, and then I found out he wasn’t mine and they just—took him. To top it all off, her uncle is the team attorney. He threatened to get me kicked off the team if I didn’t stay away from her,” I finally admitted. He was the first person I’d mentioned any of this to and it felt good to get it off my chest.

  “He can’t do that,” he said with a disgusted scrunch of his face. “You have a contract, and you’re one of the best players on the team. What’s he going to do, have some shit made up to get you terminated? Please. I’d like to see him fucking try, because I promise you, I have connections that would fuck up his life if he tried.”

  “You think I should test him?” I sighed.

  “Maybe some things are more important than fucking hockey. Did you ever think of that?” He set the bottle down and spun his chair to face me.

  “Of course I have. But I’ve also thought about the other side of things. Like what if things go to shit and I don’t have Sydney or hockey?” I rested my elbows on the bar and held my head that was pounding. Because regardless of the words I spewed at my brother, trying to be a tough guy, I had a feeling losing Sydney would be worse than never playing another day of hockey.

  “Maybe you won’t know if you don’t try. Just remember… you won’t have hockey forever. Then what?” He stood and tossed the empty bottle in the trash. “Let me see what I can do. I’ll do some digging.”

  I shook my head. “Whatever,” I muttered, knowing in my heart he was spot-on about hockey.

  At the game the next night, I was still angry. It resulted in a handful of penalties.

  Truthfully, the last couple of games, I’d played like absolute shit. The beginning of this one wasn’t much better. I’d not only gotten minor penalties, I’d been in the penalty box twice. Coach was pissed as fuck at me.

  We still won, but it was a rough game.

  My head wasn’t in the game because it was full of her. The problem was, I didn’t know how to get her out of it. That had never happened to me before. I was the guy that broke shit off. No, that was a lie, because I didn’t catch feelings for any chick.

  It had taken everything I had not to stare at her. I’d seen her sitting in my seat. She’d been alone, the seat next to her empty. It was the worst kind of torture to ignore her, but I kept telling myself I was doing what was right for her. Then I’d dragged ass after the game in case she was out there. Maybe that was big-headed of me, but I wasn’t willing to gamble on the fact that I could be wrong.

  The days dragged by in a blur. I worked out like a fiend, skated my ass off in practice, and dropped into bed exhausted every night.

  We were in November and we were getting down to the wire. Things were getting serious. We always hoped and tried to be sitting in a good position by Thanksgiving. That was eleven games away.

  “Oof!” I grunted as I was checked into the boards by Seattle defenseman Griffin. It wasn’t a bad play, but fuck, I’d been getting beaten up during that game. I’d been able to concentrate easier without Sydney there, but I’d be a liar if I said I was happy about it.

  Though we tried to ignore a lot of what went on in the stands, some chicks held up a sign offering to have a threesome, and of course no one would let it lie. The guys gave me a lot of shit for that as we sat on the bench dripping sweat.

  “Like none of you guys have ever had someone offer that,” I scoffed as we laughed, though my heart wasn’t really in it.

  I forced myself to compartmentalize and focus as we switched lines.

  We were already ahead by two points in the third period, but you could never win by too much. So when I had the opportunity, I took it. Halvorson, McGregor, and I hauled ass to the net as we passed the puck back and forth across the ice. McGregor faked the shot, then passed to me, and I sent it into the net with a wickedly powerful wrist shot.

  The buzzer sounded within seconds of my shot. We were all grinning as I skated with my stick held aloft, and the guys slammed into me, shouting.

  “Damn, Kosinski! I think I might have seen a little steam on the ice from that shot,” Kalashnik said with a grin.

  That home game on Saturday was what we needed. It was a nearly flawless game. But none of us were so cocky that we wouldn’t acknowledge it was a group effort.

  “Good game, fuckers!” Beck shouted through the shower room. There was a chorus of shouts in agreement, whistles, and yelling. We were riding pretty high after that win.

  “Hey, Kosinski!” McGregor said as he dressed. “How about we chill in your hot tub tonight?”

  “What, no bitches for you tonight?” I teased as I pulled a clean shirt over my head.

  “Nah, I’m fucking beat. I just wanna chill. Maybe have a beer or two, then crash.”

  “Ah, the truth come
s out. You just want to drink my beer.” I grinned as I slipped my shoes on and tied them.

  “That, and I’m having Alex withdrawals,” he said with a lewd wiggle of his tongue and a wink. It was impossible not to laugh.

  “You just shared a room together last night,” said Beck with a laugh. “He didn’t wear you out then?”

  McGregor stopped dead in his tracks and deadpanned Beck. “Dude. You know I wear him out.”

  “Christ,” I said as I shook my head. I shouldered my bag and told him, “If you’re coming, that’s fine. But I’m not gonna be up late. I have a quick stop to make, but I’ll be there.”

  “Oooo, Kosinski’s gotta get a drive-by piece of ass?” Baranov hooted, and I flipped him off.

  “Hell, no. If I’m getting a piece of ass, it’s lasting all fucking night.” I gave a half-hearted laugh as the guys groaned. Several of us walked out together.

  After I tossed my shit in the back, I waved to them. “See you in a few, McGregor!”

  He held up a hand in agreement and pulled out of the lot.

  Right before I shut my door, I heard my name called out. I stood up and looked back toward the stadium. Halvorson was walking toward me.

  “Yeah?” He’d been acting weird, so I braced for any dickishness he might want to throw my way.

  “I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”

  “About?”

  He shoved his hands in his pants and looked uncomfortable. “I owe you an apology.”

  Stunned speechless, I stared.

  “It wasn’t your fault they picked you up instead of Andre. I was a dick to say you didn’t deserve the spot, but I was pissed and had a chip on my shoulder. I think you’re a smart and skilled player, and I’m proud to call you my teammate. I just wanted you to know.” It was evident that his speech had taken a lot of balls. He’d essentially stood in front of me eating crow.

  “Damn. Thanks. And for what it’s worth, you’re a badass on the ice yourself. It’s too bad you’re suck a dick off the ice.” His eyes widened, but I couldn’t hold my grin back to fully appreciate fucking with him. “I’m fucking with you. But seriously, thanks man. I’m damn proud to be a part of this team, and you’re a kickass captain when you weren’t riding my ass for no reason.”

  I held my hand out and he gave me a lopsided grin before he took my hand in his. He shook his head. “Good game tonight.”

  “You too,” I agreed.

  With one last nod, he got in his car and drove off.

  Disbelief had me standing there like a dipshit while the rest of the guys came out and got in their vehicles. When they called out goodbye, I shook myself out of my shocked stupor and got back in my car. I needed to get going anyway.

  No, I didn’t really have a stop to make, per se. But I did make a detour on the way home.

  Stopping in front of the apartment complex, I sat in my car as it idled. My eyes counted over to her windows, and I stared like a lovesick sap.

  It dawned on me that the description fit. In less than two months, she’d wrapped me up around her little finger so tight, I didn’t know how to get loose.

  Then I realized something that shook me to my core—I didn’t really want to get loose.

  “Sydney, we’re not done. I just gotta get some shit straight.”

  I drove toward home with new determination.

  “Ride”—SoMo

  Monday morning, I opened my office door and shrieked. I wasn’t expecting anyone in there. Especially since I was early. I’d planned to use the time to get caught up on my work. Katie and I had been sick off and on the past week and a half or so. I was pretty sure we were passing it back and forth.

  Furtively looking down the hall both ways to be sure I hadn’t brought the cavalry running, I stepped inside and quickly shut the door.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked in an outraged whisper. I locked the door so no one would know I was there.

  “Well, good morning to you too,” Alex said with a grin from my chair. His hands were linked behind his head, causing his shirt to ride up a bit. The tiny peek of abs I saw was enough to send my pulse racing.

  I dropped all of my shit in the chair by my door. The office didn’t leave a lot of room to move around. I was pretty sure it was actually a supply closet at one time.

  “Alex,” I groaned in frustration. He dropped his arms.

  “Come here, Sydney,” he said in a tone that should be way too sultry for my office.

  “Fuck off, Alex.”

  “Don’t be like that.” His eyes flickered uncertainly, and my anger ignited.

  “Don’t be like what? Upset that you cancelled on me at the last minute? Don’t be pissed that you ghosted me for a fucking week? Don’t be blown away by your nerve to show up in my office like some king of creepers after all of that, acting like nothing happened? What, Alex? What exactly should I not be like?” My hands fisted and I clenched my jaw.

  He swallowed hard and briefly closed his eyes. Then he blasted those blue eyes full of sincerity at me. “I’m sorry. I was a dick. But I promise you, I thought I was doing what was best for you. The problem is, no matter how many times I tell myself what the right thing to do is, I keep circling back around to you. I can’t stay away. I tried, and it was miserable.”

  “It wasn’t so fucking hot on my end either,” I said through my clenched teeth as I continued to glare.

  “I know it sounds like a cop-out, but I told you I’d probably fuck shit up. Let me make it up to you. Let me do better. Let me be the man you deserve. Please?” He held out his hand to me.

  I crossed my arms and tapped my foot.

  “Sydney. Please?”

  “Why should I?”

  “Because I’m begging you,” he said, sighing before he palmed his mouth and watched me.

  Though I had been extremely angry at him, I didn’t want to be. The anger ate at my soul, and I hated it. Deciding to see what he had to say, I took the first step forward.

  Like a moth to a flame, I found myself standing between his spread legs. His hands slid up from behind my knees to my outer thighs and up my skirt. He looked up at me with those hypnotizing blue eyes and those sinfully thick eyelashes as my hands found their way into his hair.

  “What are you doing?” I sighed as I found myself leaning into him. Remembering where I was, I stopped.

  “I’m sorry I’ve been scarce. I was an idiot. But since I pulled my head out of my ass, I’ve had someone looking into some things,” he said vaguely.

  “Okay?” I gave a breathless laugh. “About?”

  “Us.”

  “What about us?”

  “I’m tired of pretending I don’t want you. I’m tired of hiding this. I’m tired of avoiding each other out of fear for what could happen with your job or mine. So I have someone going through both of our employment-slash-contract stipulations.” He bit his lip in an oh-so-sexy way as his eyes flickered back and forth with mine. My heart was racing so fast, I experienced a momentary dizzy spell. He held me tight.

  “How the hell did you get my employment contract?” I pushed back further to give him a narrow-eyed stare.

  “It might be better if you didn’t know that.” He appeared chagrined, and I hated to ask. Matter of fact, I really didn’t want to know at all.

  “Wow. Um, okay, but what if they find that we can’t be together? You know this job is important to me. I love what I do with the foundation.”

  “I know you do, which is exactly why I tried to stay away. But what I’m asking you to do is not worry about that right now. We’ll continue to be careful until I get my answers, but I want you to know something. Something you need to keep in mind regardless of what the outcome of my little search is.”

  My head tipped inquiringly as I waited for him to continue.

  “I love you, Sydney.”

  I gasped. “What?”

  That sent my heart tripping and stuttering as my stomach fluttered wildly. It was the absolute last thing I expected h
im to say at that time.

  “I’m not telling you that to pressure you. It’s not a ploy to get what I want, and I don’t need you to say it back. I just wanted you to know. So you know this is more than me trying to figure out how to be able to fuck you. Though, that’s definitely part of the draw.” His grin was wicked and beautiful as he moved closer, lifted my blouse and trailed the tip of his nose over my skin.

  Words escaped me as my body tingled in anticipation. My hands framed his face and stopped his movement. “This is a very bad idea. What if someone comes to the door?”

  “Pretend you’re not here.” He begged with his eyes as he looked up at me and tugged my panties until they fell to my feet.

  “I’m at work. You know, the place you don’t want me to get fired from?”

  “I’ll be quiet as a mouse. I swear,” he whispered. For about two seconds, I lost myself in the feel of his hands on my bare skin. It didn’t take long before I grabbed myself by the lady-balls and stopped his movements.

  “I’m not fucking you in my office. That’s non-negotiable.” I shook my head. Though I stayed firm, inside I seriously didn’t want him to stop touching me.

  “Okay. I respect you, baby.” He pressed a kiss to my abdomen, then laid the side of his head against me as he held me quietly.

  “We’re going to figure this out. I promise. One way or another. I love you, Sydney. I never thought I’d say that to a woman, but I also never expected you. You make me feel like I’ve been waiting for you forever, I just didn’t know it. Are you willing to try?”

  I nodded as he deftly straightened my clothes.

  When he kissed each satin-and-lace-covered boob, I let out a soft laughing groan. “Don’t you have to be at practice?”

  “Yeah. Just finished at the gym, so I have a bit before I have to hit the ice. But I wanted to see you and make sure you knew where I stood.”

  “Okay, but I have a lot of work to do today. Can we finish this tonight?” I asked him as I sifted my fingers through his hair.

  “Fuck, yes,” he murmured. He hugged me tightly, and my hand gently held him cradled to my body.