Pride and Precipice

by Lelia M Silver

  His words couldn’t help but intrigue her, and she nodded mutely. It took him several minutes to gain his composure and work up the nerve to start speaking.

  “You asked me earlier about Wickham and my relationship with him. As he probably told you, Wickham and I don’t have the best of relationships.” He smiled a crooked smile that pulled at her heart. “He probably didn’t tell you why. Or at least, he probably didn’t give you the whole story.”

  Lizzy could only stare at him in astonishment. The very subject she had been doggedly pursuing all evening with little success, and now he was offering the information to her freely. She didn’t know what to think.

  He continued, “I cannot be sure what Wickham has told you, but I can summon witnesses to collaborate the accuracy of what I am about to tell you. I can only hope it will be enough to convince you of my sincerity. Wickham and I were raised together. My father had a fondness for him as a boy due to the diligence of his father, and supported him through his years at school and then away at university. Wickham was careful to keep his true nature hidden from my father, but I, being close in age and away at school with him, had the luxury of seeing him in unguarded moments. I saw his true character. When my father died about five years ago, he left Wickham a large sum of money to be used in the furtherance of his education, as Wickham had always claimed a desire to become a doctor or a lawyer. His own father died only a few months later, and only a month after that, Wickham got in touch with me and demanded the value of the scholarship owed to him, saying he wished to study law.

  I rather wished, than believed, him to be sincere, but at any rate, I acceded to his wishes, and the money was soon transferred to his possession. I thought that would be the end of any contact between us. I did not want his like at Pemberley, where my young sister, who was only a teenager at the time, resided, and I had no desire to seek out his company in town.

  I think he lived in London, but I cannot be sure. What I do know, is that his taking up the law was a mere pretense, and he spent the whole of three years idly wiling away his time in dissipation. At the end of those three years, he had evidently managed to squander the whole of the money that had been given him, for he again approached me asking for money, which I refused to give him. Angry at me, he sought for a way to get back at me.” He gave her a wry smile. “I am not the only one with a resentful temper, it seems. Anyway, my sister Georgiana, who had recently graduated from high school, went away with some friends to Ramsgate over the summer, and unbeknownst to me, Wickham followed her there. I do not know how he came by her whereabouts, although further inquiry found he had a prior acquaintance with one of the young ladies whom Georgiana accompanied. Regardless, once they were there, Wickham played on the affection she had for him as a child and ingratiated himself with her group. Before long, she began to think herself in love with him, and believed him to be sincere in his affection towards her as well.

  Hoping to spend a little time with my sister while on holiday, I showed up unexpectedly, just in time to find Wickham pouring a cocktail of drugs into my sister’s drink while she wasn’t looking. I do not know exactly what he intended to do to her- I didn’t let him stick around long enough to find out- but soon after I had packed up my sister and sent her back to Pemberley, he tried to blackmail me, saying he had pictures of her that could be potentially incriminating if they got out. I contacted my lawyer, who contacted Wickham, and he has since had nothing to do with us. His chief motive was undoubtedly money, of which I refused to give him any more, but I cannot help but think he was also motivated by revenge. If he had succeeded in hurting my sister, his revenge would have been complete indeed. I can only be grateful that I decided to show up when I did and saved her from whatever plans Wickham had. For Georgiana’s sake, I have tried to keep the particulars of the occasion from becoming widely known, and for her sake I have to request that you keep what I have told you to yourself.”

  “Of course,” she murmured, understanding at once his desire to protect his sister. She had four sisters herself, for whom she would act in the same manner as he had. As to the whole of his explanation, she hardly knew what to think!

  It was such a complete reversal of feelings from those she had harbored only a few minutes earlier that her mind could not fathom an appropriate response. It was hard to believe that the charming young man who she had met only a few days earlier and whom had poured out his sob story to her could be the cad that Darcy described. And yet, she did not doubt Darcy’s sincerity. His willingness to provide witnesses and proof to substantiate his claims lent his story a credibility that Wickham’s tale did not.

  Still, it was a lot to expect her feelings to do a complete turnaround toward him in the space of half an hour. Her emotions were confused. One part of her did not want to let go of the resentment she harbored for his high and mighty attitude toward her and the hurt he had caused when he insulted her. Another part of her could not be angry at him when he had comforted her so tenderly only moments before.

  She couldn’t trust herself when she was in his arms. Her emotions were traitorous, turning her logical mind to nothing more than hormonal mush. She didn’t want to be a blubbering idiot, and yet Darcy had seen her that way more than once. What was more, he didn’t seem to mind.

  She scrubbed a hand over her face and glanced up to find Darcy studying her with serious eyes. She didn’t know what he expected her to say or do, and she was suddenly afraid to say the wrong thing.

  He had trusted her with his history and all the gory details of his sister’s folly. Their relationship would forever be altered. She would never be able to look at him the same, and she would never be able to go back to her antagonism. Already her view of his previous actions was shifting, changing, to take into account this new understanding.

  Their eyes caught and held. His eyes darkened, his gaze intensified until Lizzy couldn’t have looked away if she had wanted to. Her whole being was caught and held in the magnetism of his gaze. Her heart raced in her chest. It was suddenly very difficult to breathe, as if an elephant sat on her chest. But she knew it was just the weight of his eyes that constricted her lungs.

  And then he shocked her even further by speaking again. “I know this probably isn’t the best time to tell you this, but I can’t seem to help myself.” He took a deep breath and blurted out, “Lizzy, I think I love you.”

  He couldn’t have shocked her more if he had slapped her across the face. She was dumbfounded by his proclamation. She searched for words, some sort of reply, but there was none.

  It didn’t really matter, because he did not give her a chance to speak before he continued, “I tried not to, I really did. Between your mother and your sisters, I had no desire to be connected to your family. But you have utterly bewitched me.”

  The whole situation was beyond her comprehension. She just blinked at him. Her silence unnerved him.

  He bit his lip and then blurted, “This is when you say something.”

  She shook her head to clear the fog from her brain. She thought he had just told her he loved her, but she couldn’t have heard him right. The effect of her emotional evening must have befuddled her mind. “I’m sorry, I thought you said you loved me.”

  He cocked his head. “I did.”

  “Oh.” Words failed her once again. For someone who prided herself on her witty repartee, this was a situation she didn’t find herself in often, or much liked for that matter. Still, what did one say when a man you felt you barely knew proclaimed his love for you? “I don’t know what to say.”

  His expression started to close. He wasn’t sure exactly how he had expected Lizzy to respond, but that surely had not been it.

  He supposed it had been naïve of him to expect her to respond in kind to his declaration of love. Their earlier exchange about Wickham while on the dance floor should have prepared him for the fact that she might not feel the same way about him that he felt about her.

  His pride would not let him back down though. He
did love her, and even if she did not feel the same way about him right now, that did not mean she would not in the future. He could not give up hope. He scooted out from under the desk and held his hand out to help Lizzy to her feet. “Come on. We should return to the party.”

  Confused by his sudden change of tactics, Lizzy put her hand in his and let him pull her up. Her long skirts settled back around her ankles and she brushed nonexistent dirt from the fabric in an attempt to avoid his eyes. The brush of his bare skin against hers unsettled her in ways she didn’t want to admit, even to herself.

  Darcy took the opportunity to study her once again. He had noticed how beautiful she looked when she and Jane had first shown up, but he had not taken the time to really appreciate her beauty. Even though her tears had washed away most of her makeup, she still exuded a natural beauty that far superseded Caroline’s haute couture look. She looked like the girl next door all dressed up, and yet he knew she was so much more than that.

  Seeing her like this reminded him of the first time they had met, in the hall right after he had called her barely tolerable. He hadn’t known what to expect when she had dragged him off to Lucas Lodge, and yet he would not change a moment of that experience now. That night had changed his whole perspective of her. It had taught him more about her character than he ever would have expected and had led him to hire her for the job here at Netherfield Park, which had given him the opportunity to draw close to her in ways he never would have experienced otherwise.

  Who would have thought the stupidest words he had ever spoken would have brought them together? Of course, they weren’t really together, not yet, but he hadn’t given up on that. Darcy was a man who was used to getting his way, and he had no doubt that in the end, once all the misunderstandings had been ironed out, Lizzy would change her mind about him. He just had to give her time to figure it out.

  He could afford to wait until then.

  Without speaking, they wandered the halls back toward the ballroom, only to find that the party had wound down while they were in the library. The only guests left remaining were the Bennets and their guest, William Collins. Mrs. Bennet had somehow managed to corner Caroline and was happily chatting her ear off, although Caroline was doing everything in her power to extricate herself from the situation. Lizzy couldn’t bring herself to feel sorry for her, even though she knew her mother was probably only embarrassing her further with her dialogue.

  Lydia and Kitty had conked out at a table. Charles and Jane had isolated themselves in a corner, chatting amiably and ignorant of anything but their own blissful happiness. Mary had managed to find a large sheet of paper, and was scribbling madly on it, much to the amusement of Mr. Bennet and William Collins.

  Lizzy flinched at the scene that met them as they reentered the ballroom. Caroline spotted them almost immediately and she did not fail to note that they entered together. She abruptly left a sputtering Mrs. Bennet to intercept Lizzy and Darcy as they rejoined the party, a predatory gleam in her eye.

  “I am so glad that you two decided to join us,” she said. “You are just in time. The car is being brought round for your family as we speak.” She yawned widely, nearly showing her tonsils. “How fatigued I am! It has been a long night, hasn’t it, Darcy?”

  Darcy glanced at Lizzy out of the corner of his eye and decided if he wanted to change the impression she had of him, he had best start with his attitude toward her family. Although she had been shocked by his earlier declaration of love, he knew sooner or later what he had mentioned about her relatives would sink in, and then he would be in trouble. Smoothly, he replied, “I think the night has turned out to be very different than I expected, but not in a bad way.” He addressed Lizzy, “I am glad you and your family have had a good time tonight.”

  The announcement that the car was ready prevented her from answering, although she doubted she could have found the words if she had wanted to. With a smile, Lizzy thanked their hosts and hostess for a lovely evening and followed her family out to the car.

  Darcy had mixed feelings about the outcome of his evening, but it was evident that Bingley had no qualms about his. He was walking on air as they retired back to his apartment in the east wing.

  He rambled on and on about Jane, and how lovely she was, and what she had said about Netherfield Park, and every other little detail he could think of. Darcy didn’t want to bring his friend down from his high, but he was afraid Bingley needed a good dose of reality. After realizing just how hard his friend had fallen, Darcy had done a good bit of snooping and observing for his sake. What he had seen was not promising. Jane was a lovely young lady, and she seemed to genuinely enjoy spending time with Charlie. But as far as he could tell, she didn’t show Charlie any partiality.

  Still, he hesitated to bring up his findings. Caroline on the other hand, had no such qualms.

  She interrupted him with a silencing hand. “Shush, Charles. We are all tired of hearing you speak of this girl. You know nothing good can come of this infatuation with Jane. Her family is ridiculous and they would embarrass you if they were ever to show up at one of your events. It would be better if you went back to London and forgot all about her.”

  Charles’ head reared back as if she’d slapped him. “How can you even say that, Caroline?! I love Jane, and she loves me. Right, Darcy? You’ve seen it, haven’t you?”

  Uneasy, Darcy glanced between brother and sister. He really didn’t want to get in the middle of this, but he had to be honest. He wanted what was best for his friend. And in this case, it might be a little time away from the situation to gain some perspective. “Jane is a lovely young woman and I can tell that you’ve fallen very quickly in love with her, but I don’t think she feels the same way about you that you do about her. It is evident she enjoys your company- I’m not saying she doesn’t- but I’m not sure her interest extends beyond the platonic.”

  “So you’re saying she thinks we’re just friends?”

  Darcy could tell Charles was reeling from his words and he felt even worse about having to deliver them. “I am.”

  Charles buried his head in his hands. “I’ve been such a fool. What am I going to do about this?”

  Darcy patted his friend awkwardly on the shoulder. “You’ve been talking about going to South America to look at properties for a hotel. Why don’t you take the trip? It will do you some good to get some time away to think about things and decide what you want to do. Give yourself a little perspective.”

  *****

  Jane was humming as she started up her computer the next morning, and Lizzy couldn’t help but smile at the happy sound. A happy Jane was a delightful thing, and it affected the whole ambience of the office and their family.

  Abruptly, the sound stopped, only to be replaced by a choked sob. Lizzy whirled around in her office chair to look at her sister, whose eyes had filled with tears. She had one fist pressed against her mouth as she read.

  “What’s wrong?” demanded Lizzy. Only something truly catastrophic could put that look on Jane’s face.

  Jane turned the computer so she could read the email. It was from Caroline, and after scanning the whole, Lizzy could only sit back in her chair, speechless.

  “He is gone,” Jane said. “She does not mince words, does she? It is evident she has no desire to see him with me and has orchestrated events so that there is no chance.”

  “He might come back,” Lizzy said weakly, although the tone of the email suggested no such thing.

  Jane shook her head. “He is his own man; he makes his own decisions. He does not love me. He never did.” She gave Lizzy a sad smile. “It was a silly hope on my part.” Then her eyes filled up with tears, and choking on them, she managed to squeeze out, “Excuse me,” before she fled the room.

  Flabbergasted and horrified, Lizzy met her father’s eyes across the office.

  “Well,” said he, “Your mother will be quite disappointed. She had already reserved the venue for their wedding. I suppose we had best prepare ou
rselves for the return of her nerves.”

  ”Pappa!” Lizzy protested. “Can you not be serious this once?” She shook her head at him, for once unable to join him in his levity, and pushed back her chair so she could follow her sister.

  Chapter 8

  Her backpack slung securely over her shoulders, Lizzy snuck around the corner of the east wing of Netherfield Park. She was fuming at Caroline’s treatment of Jane and Charles’ abandonment, and she wasn’t about to let the incident go without speaking her mind.

  The hotel wing of the manor house was lit up brightly and alive with activity, even at this time of the night, but the east side was dark and quiet. If she didn’t know better, she would have thought no one was in residence.

  She ran an assessing eye over the first floor windows. The ground floor apartment was unoccupied, with both Darcy and Caroline staying in the more luxurious residences on the upper floors. She was glad for the knowledge she had from working there. It made it a lot easier to sneak in without getting caught.

  She still couldn’t quite believe she was doing this. A part of her was ashamed by her petty response. It seemed so juvenile. But at the same time, she had to do something, and this was the only thing she could think of that wouldn’t get her landed in jail.

  The third window down, which was in the master bedroom of the apartment, had never fully latched, and she was counting on that to get in. She had snuck in that way since she was a child, and for some reason that particular window hadn’t been included in the renovations. She couldn’t be sorry for that now.

  She crouched beneath the window and slid her fingers along the edge of the pane until they found the slight catch. She fumbled briefly, and then slid the window up, a deft movement all it took to overpower the faulty latch. She smiled slightly to herself, then placed both hands on the window ledge and vaulted into the empty room.