The Therapist

by Kelly Holm

  “What is it?”

  “I don’t know; when she gave it to me, it was already sealed. She was very adamant about me getting it to you as soon as possible if something ever happened to her.”

  “I had no idea she was so prepared. She truly was an amazing woman.”

  “She also requested that you be the one to scatter her ashes,” he said, as he handed the urn to Leo.

  “Did she happen to mention where?”

  “She said, you would know just the place.”

  “Of course, she did,” Leo said, as he slowly grinned. Krystal was always placing way more faith in him then he thought he deserved.

  “Well then, my work here is done. I won’t take any more of your time, and again, my deepest condolences. If there’s anything you need, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

  “Thanks, Miles, I appreciate you bringing these things by; are you sure I can’t interest you in a tattoo while you’re here?” Leo teased.

  “As much fun as it would be to say I got a tattoo from Leo Mills, one of the greatest running backs for the Sacramento Sequoias, I am going to have to pass. I don’t think it would go over so well with the wife, but thank you so much for the offer. Maybe one day…”

  “Consider it an open offer,” Leo replied, as he walked Miles to the door.

  Leo wondered if Miles would ever have the nerve to do something his wife didn’t approve of. It was very evident who

  was in charge of that family. Leo chuckled as he walked back towards his station.

  After Miles left, Leo got ready for his client, John Williams, a high school friend of his, who wanted a new school tattoo of his Doberman Pincher, Butch, wearing a yellow zoot suit while shredding on a guitar, placed on his upper arm. Leo enjoyed tattooing very much, and if it weren’t for Krystal, he probably never would have started. Damn, he missed her so much.

  As he was finishing up the new school drawing of John’s zoot suit wearing Doberman, he thought about where he would go to scatter Krystal’s ashes. She was still heavy on his mind, but he knew he had to push those thoughts to the back while he was tattooing. John was a good friend of his, and he had to do his best. So, when he heard the bell on the front door, he quickly pulled himself away from thoughts of his beloved Krystal.

  John Williams was a childhood friend of Leo’s. They played football in high school together, and when Leo got the scholarship to play football at USC, John drove out for every home game, just to cheer Leo on. He did the same when Leo played in the NFL. John wasn’t the most handsome man; he was very tall, standing around six foot two, with a beer belly and a scruffy beard. His hair was a dirty blonde color, shoulder length, and kind of stringy. His face was average, but he did ok with the ladies.

  “Hey, John, good to see you, ready to get started?”

  “Abso-fucking-lutely.”

  “Alright then, have a seat. I think you’ll like what I’ve drawn for you,” Leo said as he showed John his sketch of Butch wearing a yellow zoot suit while shredding on a Gibson guitar.

  “That is amazing dude! Fuck ya, it’s perfect. Maybe on the collar, you could put his name in?”

  “Sure, no problem; give me a minute, and I’ll transfer it to a stencil, and we’ll see how it looks on your arm.”

  “So how are you holding up? I thought for sure you’d call and cancel the appointment. You sure you’re ok?”

  “If you’re asking if I’m going to fuck up your tat, I won’t.” Leo tried his best not to sound agitated, but he seemed to be on edge today.

  “I know you’ll give me a killer tat; I’m asking as a concerned friend if you are ok.” John could understand why Leo would be a little touchy today; he tried his best to keep things light.

  John was genuinely concerned about Leo, but Leo wasn’t the kind of guy who voiced his feelings. Sometimes it was impossible to tell what was going on in his mind. John, like Ringo, was worried that Leo might be trying to go back to normal too soon.

  “I’m ok, but I really miss her. How’s the placement?” Leo really wanted to talk about absolutely anything but Krystal, so he quickly turned the conversation back to business.

  “Perfect, love it. Man, this is dope. Don’t forget to sign it too.”

  “You’re like one of the only people that insist on that. What are you going to do, cut off your arm, and sell it for money if I die?” Leo asked, ribbing his friend.

  “How much do you think I could get?” They both laughed.

  “I don’t know man; you are really twisted. Are you ready for this?”

  “I’m good. Be gentle…”

  Leo wasn’t himself, he always loved joking around with John, but today almost everything John said just annoyed him. He did his best not to let on. Leo just needed to get away and sort out his feelings. He took a couple of deep breaths and placed the tattoo machine on John’s arm and began work.

  “I saw Mila was back in town, is she planning on sticking

  around for a while?” John asked as he moved his eyebrows up and down like he wanted to get a piece or something. Leo stopped tattooing and looked John straight in the eye.

  “No, she’s heading back to the city later this week. Don’t get any crazy ideas, John; she’s definitely not your type, besides she’s way too young for you,” he said, as he began tattooing again.

  Leo really liked John, but he was quite the player. If a single girl came around, John would hit on her. He hit on every woman in town, dated several of them and even married a few… and of course, divorced a few. Leo felt like he had to protect Mila now that Krystal was gone and there was no way in hell, he was going to allow John near her.

  After four hours, the tattoo was finished.

  “Ok, what do you think?”

  “Oh, dude, that is amazing work. I love the way he’s holding that guitar; it really looks like he’s shredding. I love it, and thanks for signing it.”

  Every now and then, people would ask him to sign his tattoos once they found out he was a famous NFL running back for the Sacramento Sequoia from ‘88 to ‘93. Every tattoo he had done for John had to be signed; John was by far, after Krystal, his biggest fan. As he was cleaning up his station, he thought about those days.

  When he was a senior in high school, he played football and loved it. He had no plans to attend college, he wasn’t big on book learning; he really just wanted to play football. So, when he was offered a full scholarship to USC to play for their football team, he jumped at the chance; and since Leo loved to draw, he majored in Art History.

  During his third year at USC, a scout from the NFL team, the Sacramento Sequoia approached him and asked if he would like to try out in a walk-on spot. He did, and they signed him to play running back for them. He took a chance, quit college, and played football. It was everything he dreamed it would be and more. He played four seasons with only minor injuries, but at the end his fifth season, he tore his ACL, and his career was over.

  When he came home, he didn’t know what to do with himself. He thought about going back to USC and finishing his degree, but he didn’t know what he would do with it anyway. It was then Krystal told him that his drawings were amazing and encouraged him to see if his buddy, Ringo, who owned the local tattoo shop, Lucky Tat, would be interested in buying some of his work.

  Leo did just that, but Ringo didn’t want to buy the drawings; instead, he wanted to show Leo how to tattoo and took him on as an apprentice. Leo never thought about a career in tattooing, but he didn’t have anything else going on, so he gave it a shot and ended up loving it. He was a natural. He’s been tattooing ever since, all thanks to Krystal’s suggestion.

  Leo looked at the letter that Miles brought by, it had her handwriting on the front; just seeing her writing made him choke up. He quickly folded the letter in half, and put it in his back pocket, and walked over to the front desk where Lori, their receptionist, was sitting.

  Lori had worked at Lucky Tat for years; Leo often wondered why Ringo didn’t go for her after Nadine left. T
hey were always joking and laughing together. They often did lunch together, and sometimes, hit the bar after work. Lori loved tattoos, and you could tell. She was covered with them. She wore her bright red hair short, so she could show off the dragon that was tattooed around her neck. It was a cool tattoo; done by Ringo

  himself to look like the dragon was just sitting there hanging out on her neck.

  “Lori, what does the rest of my day look like?”

  “Nothing booked for the rest of the day.”

  “Nothing? That’s weird.”

  “Not really, I didn’t mention that most of them, except for your buddy John, called and rescheduled a few weeks out. I guess everyone thought you would take more time off.”

  “Ok, well, in that case, I guess I’ll see you in a couple weeks,” he said, as he grabbed his helmet and keys and walked out of the shop.

  As he was starting his bike, he noticed Mila walk up. He wondered what she was doing here; he thought she was leaving today.

  “Hey, Mila, how are you doing?” Leo asked as he got off his bike and gave her a hug.”

  “I wanted to stop by to say good-bye, and to give you this,” she said, as she handed Leo a wood framed photo of him and Krystal.

  “What’s this?”

  “I thought you might like a photo of the two of you. I always loved this one; Mama must have too, because she had it displayed on her nightstand.”

  The picture was a nice touch; it meant the world to him that she gave him that photo especially. Mila didn’t know it, but that picture was taken on the day that he and Krystal declared their love for each other. It was always their secret.

  “Thanks, this is really thoughtful of you. I don’t think I even have any photos of us together, so this really means a lot to me.”

  “I’m glad you like it. I know Mama would have wanted you to have it.”

  “What are your plans now?”

  “I’m not sure; I think I’ll just go back to L.A., my practice and life. I’m not sure when I’ll be back up in these parts; since Mama’s gone, I really have no reason to come back.”

  “What about the house?”

  “I don’t know; I’m going to sit with it for a while. I can’t bring myself to sell it yet.”

  “I’ll keep an eye on it for you if you’d like.”

  “I’d like that. So, you’re sticking around town?”

  “Ya, I’ve got a good business here, and I like the town. I’ve been here so long I wouldn’t know where else to go.”

  “Do you want the house? I mean, I really can’t see myself moving back here anytime soon.”

  “No, honey, that’s yours. Besides, I don’t think I could live there; too many memories, ya know? Look, if you decide to sell, let me know and I’ll handle what I can on this end for you.”

  “I’m going to hold you to that. Miles mentioned that she wanted you to scatter her ashes.”

  “Ya, go figure, she was always volunteering me,” Leo replied, as they both laughed.

  It was true, Krystal always “loaned” Leo out. If one of her friends needed something fixed, she would ask Leo, and he would always do whatever she asked. He couldn’t say no to her, and she just wanted to help people.

  “She loved you so much, and I think she believed you could do anything.”

  “She had a way of putting a lot more faith in me then I think I ever deserved.”

  “Have you decided where you’re going to scatter her?”

  “No clue, I have some ideas, but nothing seems right, ya know?”

  “I get it. I’m sure Mama will find a way to let you know where she wants to be scattered.”

  “You’re probably right. Are you sure you don’t want to stick around a while longer?”

  “I should get back. There really isn’t anything here for me anymore, and the longer I stay, the more I miss her.”

  “I understand. This must be really hard on you. I really want you to know that if you ever need anything, I’m here for you, call me anytime. I know we aren’t technically family, but you’ve always seemed like the daughter I never had,” he said, as he gave her one more hug before she left.

  “That means the world to me Leo, thank you,” she replied, as tears started to collect in her eyes, “I should probably get on the road, I’d like to get back before it gets too late.”

  “Ok, have a safe drive. Maybe drop me a line every now and then so I know you’re doing ok…”

  “I’ll do that, and if you ever find yourself in L.A., make sure you swing in and say hello. Bye Leo,” she said, as she walked over to her car and got inside.

  Leo watched as Mila pulled out and drove down the street. It was like watching an essential chapter in his life close for good. He wondered if he would ever see her again, he hoped he would. When Mila’s car was no longer in sight, Leo secured Krystal’s urn on the passenger seat of the bike, put on his helmet, started his Harley and drove off towards the unknown.

  Once out on the open highway, Leo realized he had no idea where he was headed; so, he decided to ride up to Hoople near Santa Barbara, where he and Krystal would go every year, the ride would be beautiful. He remembered how much Krystal liked it and wondered if she would be happy scattered there. Leo thought he would ponder it for a while, he wasn’t in a rush.

  After riding for about an hour and a half, he pulled into the Drake Motel to get a room for the night. He and Krystal always

  stayed at the Drake on their way up to the lake cabin. It was their tradition.

  He walked into the familiar lobby, with the crazy purple and red psychedelic wallpaper and matching carpet. Stepping into the Drake Motel was a little like stepping back in time. The décor was very sixties with all the wild colors, making it look like time just stopped there. He could smell freshly brewed coffee, and there were some of Sally’s delicious homemade chocolate chip cookies sitting out on a plate for anyone who wanted some.

  He walked up to the front desk and rang the bell to alert someone that a guest had arrived. Minutes later, a tall, older, thin man dressed in a flannel shirt with jeans and long grey hair came out. It was Charlie, the owner.

  “Why, is that you, Leo? I wasn’t expecting you. Where’s that lovely girl of yours?”

  “Hi, Charlie, it’s good to see you. I’m flying solo this trip.”

  “I hope everything is ok…”

  “Well, I guess you’ll hear sooner or later… Krystal passed away earlier this week.”

  “Oh no, I am so sorry to hear that. Just a moment, hey Sally, can you come out here a minute please?” he yelled to his wife who was sitting on the sofa in the back watching her favorite reality show, ‘Till Death Do Us Bark’, a marriage boot camp for people who married their dogs, and are now having problems in the relationship.

  “What do you need love?” she asked as she came out into the lobby, “Leo, I didn’t know you and Krystal were coming. It’s good to see you.”

  Sally was a petite woman who always wore a long skirt with a flannel shirt. Her hair was long, grey, and straight. Sometimes she pulled it back and secured it with a colorful bandana, but not today.

  “Krystal passed away,” Charlie quickly told his wife before Leo could say anything.

  “Oh, my goodness, that is horrible. I am so sorry for your loss. Is there anything we can do?”

  “No, I’m ok; just need a room for the night.”

  “Sure, that’s no problem. Where ya headed, if you don’t mind me asking?” Charlie asked as he prepared the necessary paperwork.

  “Our cabin on Lake Hoople.”

  “Ah, the annual trip, maybe a little later this year…” Sally said.

  “Ya, I was thinking about scattering her ashes up there.”

  “That is a beautiful idea. I think Krystal would love that.”

  “Alright, Leo, you’re all set. Room fourteen is ready.” Leo reached in his back pocket to pull out his wallet.

  “Oh no, it’s on the house.”

  “Are you sure? That�
�s really nice of you, I appreciate that. Is the diner still open?”

  “Diner’s open until 9:00 p.m. tonight. If you need anything else, just give me a jingle.”

  Leo took the key, thanked the Drake’s again, and went back to his bike. He grabbed the urn and his pack and went inside the room. The room wasn’t anything special, but he didn’t need anything more than a clean bed and a shower.

  Leo saw Krystal’s face everywhere, so beautiful, so delicate and perfect. It was almost like he could reach out and touch her. He missed her so much it physically hurt. This wasn’t his plan, they were supposed to grow old together, but now he had to go on by himself. He wasn’t especially hungry, but he knew he had to eat, so he put on his leather jacket, grabbed the room key, and walked across the parking lot to the diner.

  The diner wasn’t bustling, just a couple of truck drivers

  and a few locals eating, so Leo grabbed a booth in the back. While he was looking over the menu, a young, fragile looking, woman, wearing a yellow dress and a white apron with her hair neatly pulled back in a chignon covered with a hair net appeared at his table.

  “What can I get for you, sir?” Delores, the waitress, politely asked.

  “I’ll have the Famous Burger.”

  “How would you like that cooked?”

  “Medium-well.”

  “Do you want fries, potato salad, cottage cheese, or fruit?”

  “Would it be possible to get potato salad, and a side salad instead of fries?”

  “Sure, that’s no problem. Do you want a beer or something to drink?”

  “I’ll take a beer, whatever you have.”

  “Alright, I’ll be back with your side salad in just a few,” Delores said, as she walked back behind the counter to put in his order.

  After she left, Leo reached in his back pocket and pulled out the letter that Miles gave him. It was a letter that Krystal had written years ago, it was dated May 14, 1995…

  My dearest Leo,

  I want you to know that you are the love of my life. The first day you came by to work, I remember thinking how handsome and intelligent you were. I think I had a crush on you from the very beginning, and every day afterward, you continued to make me fall deeper and deeper in love with you.