Big Witch Energy

by Kelly Jamieson

  I drag myself off my bed to change into a pair of jeans and a sleeveless black top and freshen up my makeup. I slip on flats and walk to the Singing Horse.

  There, Kesha and Hannah have already pulled two high-top tables together. I hop onto a stool, forcing a cheerful attitude. Once we have beers and an order of nachos in front of us, I tell them about my Board of Elders interview and everything that went down, ending with lunch with Trace and how he’s supporting me.

  “I really let him down,” I finish, dropping my gaze to the table, my bottom lip pouting.

  They both say nothing, watching me.

  “What?”

  “You’ve been spending a lot of time with Trace,” Hannah says.

  “Yes.”

  “Are you falling for him?” Kesha asks.

  They’re my best friends, and I need to talk about this. “Yes.”

  “Ohhhh.” They both make an identical sound.

  “He’s such a great guy.” I lean forward. “He’s smart and strong and talented. He cares for the Candlers, and he’s so appreciative of them for what they’ve done for him. He’s a little guarded… It’s because of his family dying when he was sixteen. He says he doesn’t do relationships because he’s not good at them, so… what?” I divide a look between my friends at the expression on their faces.

  “When a man tells you he’s not good at relationships… believe him,” Kesha says knowingly. “There’s usually a reason.”

  “I don’t know.” Hannah taps her bottom lip. “Remember when Derry was going out with that guy—what was his name?—Bakari. They broke up because he said he didn’t want to get serious. A month later he was engaged to someone else.”

  “So…?”

  “I think when a guy says he’s not ready, he’ll get ready if you’re the one he really wants.”

  “What are you saying?”

  They exchange a glance. “I’m saying maybe you shouldn’t get involved with him,” Kesha says.

  I blow out a long breath. “I know. I know I shouldn’t. We’ve already talked about the reasons we can’t get involved. And this interview disaster doesn’t help.”

  “You’ve slept with him,” Kesha says.

  “Yeah.”

  “Is it too late to tell you not to fall for him?” Hannah asks.

  “I think so.” I feel a sting in the corners of my eyes.

  “Oh shit.”

  “Don’t be mad. I can’t help it.”

  Kesha grabs my hand and squeezes. “We just don’t want you to be hurt.”

  “You haven’t even met him!”

  “Well, let’s fix that then.”

  I swallow. “Okay. Next weekend.” I hope he doesn’t freak out that I want him to meet my friends. If he does… that’s not a good sign. I don’t say that out loud. “I know it’s awkward with the whole family situation, but I don’t care. I know it would be uncomfortable if we break up, but why think negatively? You never know how things are going to work out when you start seeing someone, but you don’t stop seeing them because things might not work out.”

  “I do.” Hannah sighs and picks up a nacho.

  I tip my head. “Yeah, actually you do. You always find something wrong with guys.”

  “I’m working on it. Maybe Trace is like that? Maybe he’s afraid things won’t work out, so he doesn’t let things get started.”

  I consider this. “That’s possible.”

  “You really care about him?” Kesha asks.

  “I really do.” I bite my lip and meet her eyes. “I know he feels something for me too.”

  “Something.” Kesha lifts an eyebrow.

  “Well, maybe it’s not love yet. But maybe… it could be.” Why am I trying to convince myself of this? Any hope I had should have been squashed by my failure.

  “It definitely could be,” Hannah says. “You’re right; we’re being negative. We don’t even know him. And I can’t wait to meet him.”

  “Please don’t say anything to Felise and Magan,” I ask them. “They don’t know about us.”

  Kesha’s full lips push into an unhappy pout, but she nods.

  We order another round of drinks and I change the subject to Kesha’s latest family drama. She’s just starting the story about her cousin Latasha when Felise and Magan arrive.

  “Hold that story!” I tell her, sliding off my stool to greet my sisters. I’m excited for them to meet my friends, and vice versa. They give me hugs, and I make introductions and we all shift around the tables and settle in. The waitress arrives right away, and they order a bottle of rosé wine. “Make it two!” Felise says. “Wait, make it sparkling! With glasses for everyone!”

  Kesha and Hannah grin.

  “I like you,” Kesha says.

  “Okay,” I say. “Kesha has a wacky family, and she was about to tell us their latest drama.”

  “Let’s hear it.” Felise shimmies her shoulders.

  “Okay,” Kasha begins. “It was a family dinner and someone said something about marriage being hard. My cousin’s twelve-year-old daughter says, ‘Oh yeah it is, that’s why Mom and Dad are breaking up.’ Everyone’s jaws drop, and we all stare at her. Then my mom says, ‘Why do you say that, Gem?’ and she says, ‘Because Mom is a high-maintenance bish and we’re all sick of her shit.’”

  Our mouths drop open too, and then we all burst out laughing.

  “Oh my god!” Felise says. “For real?”

  “Truth.” Kesha holds up a hand. “My cousin and her husband were apparently going to tell everyone at some point, but Gem spilled the tea. It was so awkward. We were all just sitting there. Nobody knew what to say. Then Latasha laid into Gem for using the word shit, which was obviously just to cover up her embarrassment.”

  “Is Latasha a high-maintenance bitch?” Magan asks.

  “Totally.” Kesha rolls her eyes. “She wouldn’t go swimming at a family barbecue because it would wreck her hair and makeup. She complains about everything—the heat, the cold, the service anywhere she goes. She’s constantly sending us selfies of everything she does.” Kesha rolls her eyes.

  “Wow.” I shake my head. “So they’re getting a divorce?”

  “Seems like it. But don’t count on it. Remember my other cousin Mika? She and her husband got divorced, and the next thing we knew we got an invitation to their second wedding. To each other.”

  “How did that happen?”

  “They got a divorce because she got pregnant after he had a vasectomy. But it turned out it was his kid, they just didn’t wait long enough after the procedure to stop using other birth control.”

  Felise and Magan are entertained by this. “We have a big wacky family too,” Felise says. “But not quite that wacky. And my boyfriend has a weird family.”

  “I didn’t know this.” I prop my chin on one hand. “How so?”

  “The first time they met me, they asked if we were going to have children.”

  Hannah chokes on her wine. “Oooh. Kind of early for that.”

  “Yeah. And when I said not right away, she looked at me and said, ‘If you’re not interested in having children, I don’t know what the point of being alive is.’”

  My eyes widen and I snort-laugh. “Oh my god!”

  “Yeah.” She rolls her eyes.

  “Women aren’t worth living unless we procreate,” Magan says in a sarcastic tone.

  “Um… do you get along okay with them otherwise?” Kesha asks.

  “No.”

  I bite my lip. “Oh dear.”

  “Yeah, it’s kind of an issue.” She looks down at her wine.

  “Oh no. Are things not good with you and Dallas?” I lean closer to her.

  She makes a face. “I thought I could handle his parents, but… I don’t know.”

  “Are you two talking about marriage?” Hannah asks.

  “Not really, but we sort of talk like we’re going to be together forever. Long term. I’m starting to think I can’t do it.”

  “Oh. I’m sorry, M
agan.” I squeeze her shoulder.

  “Thanks.” She leans her cheek onto my hand.

  I see Kesha and Hannah watching us with warm eyes. I smile at them and they smile back.

  “It’s so cool seeing you with your sisters,” Hannah says.

  I glance at Magan and Felise. “I think it’s cool too.”

  The music stops as they announce the start of karaoke. I straighten. “Let’s sing!”

  “Yes!” Kesha and Hannah both agree. We do this all the time.

  “My favorite is ‘Love Shack’!” I tell Felise and Morgan.

  “Uh…” They exchange glances.

  “You don’t do karaoke?” I ask them.

  “Never have,” Felise admits. “But I’m game!”

  “I couldn’t get Trace to do it,” I say. “The night we met. But I think now I understand why.”

  “Why?” Magan looks at me curiously.

  “Because of his brother. He said they used to play guitar and pretend they were in a rock band.”

  “Ohhh.” Felise and Magan make identical sounds of sad understanding. “I guess we were too young to remember that.”

  “That’s sad,” Kesha says.

  “It is. He misses his brother. Well, his whole family.”

  “That’s pretty amazing that he talked to you about that,” Magan says slowly.

  Is it? We talk about all kinds of things. I nibble my bottom lip briefly. “Did you hear about my interview?”

  Felise and Magan’s eyes pop wide, then slide over to Kesha and Hannah.

  “They know.” I wave my hand. “It’s okay.”

  “They… know?” Magan blinks at me.

  “Yes. They’re sworn to secrecy.”

  “You know the consequences if they tell someone else,” Magan whispers.

  “I know. I trust them.”

  Magan and Felise are silent.

  For a moment I’m scared that I’ve done something to upset my sisters. I don’t want to upset them. But also, I hate keeping secrets. From all of them. I glance nervously between them and my friends.

  “I guess it’s too late now,” Felise says to Magan in a low voice.

  “True.” Magan lets out a long breath. She meets my eyes. “I understand why you did it, but you need to be careful, Romy.”

  I nod quickly. “I know. They know.”

  “Okay.” Magan nods. “And yeah, we did hear about your interview.”

  “Some of it,” Felise says. “People gossip and things get all blown up out of proportion. A lot of the older witches are in an uproar about it. Apparently they weren’t happy about you calling them patriarchal and medieval.”

  I wince. “Um, yes.”

  “Did you really say that?” Felise’s eyes dance.

  “They basically said women weren’t smart enough to be board members.”

  “What!” Both Felise and Magan straighten. “That’s bullshit!”

  “I know, right? They also didn’t like my apps.”

  “You didn’t mention that,” Magan says.

  “Tell us about the apps!” Felise bounces.

  I take out my phone and show them the app I developed for tracking crystals and their magical properties, then the spell book app.

  “Whoa. That’s awesome.” Felise looks up at me in wonderment.

  “Also, I have an idea for a lunar calendar app.”

  “This spell book app is sick,” Magan says. “You have to do more of this. Can you sell these to us?”

  “I’ll give them to you.”

  “No! You should make money from it.”

  “That’s not why I did it. I just wanted to make things easier. Mostly for myself,” I admit.

  “She’s smart that way,” Kesha says proudly.

  “She is!” Hannah adds.

  I shoot them a grateful glance.

  “This is great,” Felise says. “It’s ridiculous that the elders think this is dissidence. Everyone could benefit from these things. And what is up with the misogyny?”

  “Did you not notice it before?” I ask carefully.

  Magan and Felise exchange glances, looking a little guilty. “I guess we did, but it didn’t really affect us, so…” Felise covers her face. “I’m so ashamed.”

  I pat Felise’s shoulder. “It’s okay. Sometimes we’re so used to things being embedded in everything we don’t notice. It’s like… high-fructose corn syrup.”

  Everyone stares at me.

  “It’s in everything,” I explain. “But you don’t see it unless you look for it.”

  “Huh.” Felise blinks. “Yeah. Well. We can do better.” She straightens. “We’ve got your back, Romy. The board may be upset with you, but we’re with you. You have another meeting with the board, right?”

  “Yes. I’m going to apologize.”

  “We’re going with you.”

  “Whoa.” I shake my head. “You don’t have to do that.”

  “Yes. We do. And we’re bringing friends. There are a lot of women in the Witchy Women group who are pissed off about this. They’ll have to deal with all of us.”

  My heart nearly bursts with love and happiness. But… “I don’t want to cause more problems! The elders will extra hate me if this turns into something bigger.”

  “You didn’t cause the problems. You just exposed them,” Magan says firmly. “We need to address this.”

  “It’s about time,” Felise adds.

  “I love you guys.” I lean my head into Magan’s shoulder, then Felise’s.

  “Drink! To Romy’s fabulous brain.” Felise lifts a glass of pink bubbly. “Let’s make a plan!”

  19

  Trace

  Romy wants me to meet her friends. Or maybe she wants them to meet me. I’m not sure, but I have a feeling I’m going to be judged.

  We’re going to the Putt Hut to play miniature golf under black lights. I’ve never done this, but I’m a pretty good golfer, so it sounds okay to me. I pick up Romy at her place, and we meet Kesha and Hannah there.

  Their greetings are friendly enough. They seem nice. We laugh a lot as we knock balls around in a dark and brightly colored, glowing world. It’s better than I expected. Romy doesn’t agree. She’s a terrible mini golfer.

  As she stands ready to hit her ball, I say, “Spread your legs a little more.”

  Her head whips up, and she stares at me.

  “Also you need to adjust your grip.”

  Kesha and Hannah collapse in laughter while Romy gets all flustered.

  I move up behind her to show her what I mean.

  “In the hole!” She yells after she taps it and watches it roll.

  I crack up laughing too. “That’s what she said.”

  We’re all cackling so hard we barely see her hole in one.

  “There you go!” I give her a fist bump.

  When I hit my ball a little too hard and it goes off the green, er, black, I go behind a big bright palm tree to try to find it.

  “Hey!” Kesha calls. “What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball lost in the rough?”

  I don’t answer.

  “Guys will spend at least five minutes looking for a golf ball!”

  The girls all high five, laughing.

  “Very funny,” I say, returning with my glowing orange ball, grinning.

  “It’s just a joke,” Romy says with a wink. She goes on her toes to kiss my cheek. “You have nothing to worry about.”

  Damn right.

  After the golf, which I win, we move on to a bar for drinks, and I get to know Kesha and Hannah better. They also quiz me, which amuses me but also impresses me. These ladies love Romy, and anyone who loves Romy is okay by me.

  “Well, that went well,” I say as I drive back to Romy’s place.

  “That was fun. They like you.”

  “Of course they do.”

  She giggles. “Of course.”

  It went so well that I spontaneously say, “You should meet my friends too.”

  In
the dark truck, I see her eyes go big. “Yeah?”

  “Sure. My buddy Garrett and his wife Julie are good people.” I pause. “Maybe you shouldn’t meet the other guys just yet though. My friend Miles is kind of a goof.”

  She laughs softly. “I can handle goofs.”

  Yeah. I bet she can handle anything.

  This was a bad idea.

  The worst.

  We’re at a restaurant with Julie and Garrett, having just ordered dinner.

  “So we all dressed up as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,” Garrett tells Romy with an evil grin, telling her about a frat party we went to in college. “It was an amazing Halloween party. And this girl showed up dressed as April O’Neill! She was wearing a tight yellow jumpsuit, open down to her navel. So Trace here starts following her around, bringing her beers, asking her to order pizza.”

  Romy covers her mouth with her hand and sends me an amused glance.

  “Luckily she was okay with it,” Garrett continues. “It was all fun until this dude shows up dressed as Shredder.” He makes a “yikes” face. “Trace gets us all to have this battle in the kitchen, which totally wasn’t supposed to be really violent, just acting it out, but we broke the kitchen table and a chair and pulled off a cabinet door.”

  “Oh my god.” Romy’s eyes widen.

  “We cleared out fast,” Garrett says. “Everyone was in shock.” He pauses, then adds, “We fixed everything later.”

  “Ah.” Romy’s eyes dance. “That’s good.”

  This is about the sixteenth story Garrett has told about me, which he finds hilarious. Romy too. Julie’s heard all these before, but she’s still laughing. Garrett’s quite a comedian. Ha.

  “Then there was the time we were out smoking weed. Coming home, we passed a tae kwon do class. The door was open, and we could see the class going on inside. So Trace runs in and stops in the middle of the class and does some arm movements.” He demonstrates, nearly knocking over his drink. “And ends in a martial arts pose.” His hands are up in an exaggerated Jackie Chan imitation. “‘Hiiiiiyah!’ Some dude came running at him and did this spinning kick that caught him in the shoulder and laid him flat out on the mat. We were all standing in the door, staring, wondering what the fuck we’re supposed to do.”