Loving Edits

by Mickie B. Ashling

  “I woke up from a dream, and I couldn’t move my legs. I was fine last night. Tono and I had a wonderful dinner, and Billy Elliot was amazing. I could walk, and even climb stairs, although I did trip a few times. Now I can’t move my legs at all.”

  “Maybe it’s a temporary thing that will pass. Try to remain positive and we’ll figure this out.”

  “There’s only one thing to figure out: how you and Tono are going to help me commit suicide.”

  Paul snapped, allowing his feelings to bubble up to the surface. “Shut up! I don’t want to hear another word about assisted dying.”

  “Why not?” Mick cried out, pleading his case in a voice turned desperate. “I have every right to decide when and how I’m going to die.”

  “No, you don’t! You’re going to fight this, and goddamn you if you think I’m going to let you give up. Tono!”

  “Yes, Pol?” the Spaniard answered quickly, moving away from his spot near the bedroom door.

  “Help me get Mick up and dressed. We’re going to go outside, sit down in the patio, have some coffee, and discuss our next move like civilized human beings. You’re not a fucking animal, Mick, and euthanasia is not an option!”

  Mick snorted out a harsh sound. His face twisted and the bitter tears began to flow again. “Just let me fucking die already! I don’t want you or Tono to see me turn into a vegetable.”

  “Oh God,” Paul exclaimed, pulling Mick roughly against his chest. “Please, babe, shut the fuck up. I can’t stand to hear you talk like this.”

  Tono knelt down beside the bed and held Mick’s hand. “Cariño, listen. I would rather have you in a wheelchair than not at all. You can’t give up. You have so much to do yet.”

  “Tono, majo,” Mick begged, “let me go.”

  “No, I can’t.” Tono leaned into Mick and kissed him on the mouth. “I’m too selfish to let you go.”

  He continued to kiss Mick, and he pulled Paul into their circle with his free hand, bringing him closer. “Pol, help me show him how much we love and need him.”

  Paul’s respect for his rival rose exponentially as he saw firsthand how much Tono truly loved Mick. He was more than willing to share him, if that’s what it would take to calm him down. Paul removed his shirt and unzipped his pants, pushing down his silk boxers, while Tono stripped off his white shorts. They got into bed, with Mick sandwiched in between them.

  “Mick, babe, look at me,” Paul said softly, adding the endearment that made it more poignant. “I can’t let you go, now that I have you back in my life. I’ll take you any way I can get you.”

  “Paul, that’s not fair. I’m going to be useless to you, a potted fern.”

  “Bullshit,” Paul said, kissing Mick hard, forcing his mouth open, possessing him with his aggressive tongue. “You will always be desired― walking or standing, lying down or sitting on a fucking log. I’m crazy about you,” Paul said, showering hot kisses all over Mick’s face.

  “Cariño, you know I love you with all my heart. I don’t care about wheelchairs. You are still the same person, mi hombre.”

  “Majo,” Mick whispered, tearing his mouth away from Paul and kissing Tono deeply. He wiped the stray tear that fell down Tono’s cheek and kissed him again.

  Paul littered Mick’s torso with warm kisses, lingering over the light brown circles that began to pucker in response. He bit each one gently, rolling the hard nub against his teeth, pleased to hear Mick’s cry of pleasure despite the traumatic events that were unfolding. Paul had read over and over that sex was the great panacea, and he planned on using it tonight to ward off this dark and desperate moment. Tono understood his motives, and he focused on Mick’s mouth, determined to show him how much he was wanted, regardless of his inability to move his legs.

  When Paul had bathed each nipple, he moved back up to Mick’s head, kissing his neck and sucking up marks, while his hand traveled down Mick’s tight abdomen only to meet up with Tono’s hand at Mick’s groin. They were determined to partner in bringing Mick the ultimate pleasure. They joined hands around his cock and began to work it, bringing it to life with the mutual desire to take Mick to a much better place. They poured every ounce of feeling into this one act, striving to prove that Mick’s body was still more than capable of living. This one moment would make or break Mick’s outlook for an uncertain future; both Paul and Tono were well aware that it would be a deal breaker. They tag teamed him, loving him with hands and mouths, making sure that Mick knew just how much they cared. Soon the room was filled with sounds of sex, replacing the heartbreaking sobbing that had been present earlier. Mick moaned when Tono kissed him, and he sighed when Paul pressed warm, wet lips all over his chest and neck while whispering I love you. He came without a sound, overflowing the tops of their hands as they continued to milk him. Mick drew Paul’s head away from his chest, raking his fingers through the luxuriant blond hair, and he twisted his mouth away from Tono’s to latch onto Paul, kissing him fiercely. Tono’s arms snaked over them both and pulled the three of them together in a vice-like grip. “I love you, majo,” Mick sighed, closing his eyes and finally relaxing under their combined touch. “I love you both so much.”

  Chapter 13

  MICK dozed, physically spent from all the emotion. Paul reached across his chest to mesh fingers with Tono, silently acknowledging his gratitude for allowing him to be a part of this. He knew what it must have cost the Spaniard to call out to him in this moment of need, and he was humbled by his generosity. He wasn’t sure he would have acted in the same manner if their roles were reversed.

  Tono’s gaze was impenetrable, but he never took his eyes off Paul. He lifted Paul’s hand to his mouth and pressed warm lips against his wrist, unleashing a million butterflies in his stomach. Paul’s breath caught in his throat and desire surged through him. He burned under the fervid scrutiny as Tono’s eyes traveled from his face down his body. When they settled on his cock, it was rosy red, swollen, and leaking fluid in readiness; Paul whimpered without even realizing it. Tono inclined his head toward the door, indicating that they should take this out to the living room. Paul frowned, aware of what would happen if he gave in, but Tono countered by flattening his tongue against Paul’s palm and licking it. Paul was lost after that; he couldn’t deny the powerful inducement luring him outside.

  The bedroom door was barely latched before they came together in a fierce crashing of bodies, desperate for release. Paul moaned when Tono slipped his aggressive tongue into his mouth. The Spaniard stepped closer, taking handfuls of Paul’s ass while thrusting himself against Paul’s leaking cock, meshing fluids.

  “Why are we doing this?” Tono’s confusion sounded almost pitiful as they rutted against each other like dogs coupling in the summer heat.

  “Fuck if I know,” Paul growled. “We’re animals.”

  “I know it,” Tono said, pushing his groin against Paul’s. “Stop me, Pol,” Tono grunted, bringing Paul even closer. He picked him up, and Paul wound his legs around Tono’s waist, smashing his rigid cock against Tono’s stomach.

  “God, forgive me, but I can’t,” Paul sighed, crushing Tono’s mouth with wet kisses.

  Tono forced him away for a second as he wrestled for control. His immediate need to fuck Paul was tempered by his love for Mick, and these two emotions warred in his brain as he decided what to do.

  “Don’t think, Tono! Mick will understand.”

  Tono’s mouth twisted and he cried out in frustration, afraid to move forward because it was all kinds of wrong, yet unwilling to break away for a second, or he would come to his senses; he wanted this man.

  Finally, Paul slid off the Spaniard and made the decision for him. He got down on his knees and pressed his face against Tono’s groin. He hefted Tono’s thick cock in one hand and began to lick at it, running his tongue up and down the silky shaft, bathing the tender skin until he heard Tono moaning, “Suck me, Pol.”

  Tono’s words spilled out like a harsh command. Paul didn’t recognize his se
x voice, but he accommodated him quickly by taking his rigid shaft down his throat in one quick move. Tono began to thrust as Paul made wet, slurping sounds, servicing Tono with abandon.

  “Joder.” Tono babbled a continuing stream of Spanish words Paul didn’t understand. He shot in steaming spurts, and Paul swallowed around him, increasing the tension around his pulsating shaft. Tono’s knees buckled, and Paul moved aside and let him down gently, laying him on his back. He straddled Tono’s face. Paul felt needy and shamefully wanton, and he cried out, “Please, Tono, open up.” Tono lifted his head and took Paul’s engorged cock into his mouth, pausing for a second to adjust to its thickness. Paul shut his eyes and allowed the warmth to envelop him. He came immediately, much too soon, but the waves of pleasure lasted several minutes, and he held on to Tono’s head as he continued to suck on him.

  Paul sighed, weak from the sweet release that was draining out of him, reducing him to a puddle of melting body parts. He stopped thinking about what they were doing; he stopped worrying about right and wrong. All he wanted was to forget the situation they were faced with, to remember that Mick had given him his blessing by initiating sex with Tono several weeks ago. He’d pretty much come out and said it was okay, so Paul closed his eyes and let himself go with it, enjoying the feel of the talented mouth working him.

  When there was nothing more to extract, Tono pulled away and stood abruptly, distancing himself from Paul. “¡Coño!”

  “Is that a good or a bad cuss word?” Paul breathed, lying boneless on the floor.

  Tono snorted. “It’s bad.”

  “What does it translate to in English?”

  “You don’t want to know,” Tono said gruffly.

  “Why not?”

  “It means cunt.”

  “Fuck!”

  Tono turned to Paul. “Don’t sweat it. It’s just a form of expression in Spain, rarely used in the right context.”

  “You really have a good command of English, you know?”

  “Yes. But my accent sucks, I got it.”

  “Hey, it is what it is.” Paul rolled over and leaned up on one elbow. “Thank you for calling me.”

  “I love him, Pol. I’ll do anything to make this easy for him, and if I have to put up with you, I will.”

  “Thanks a lot, you bastard. It works both ways.”

  “I know. But you and I have to work this out, without involving Mick. When we are with him, we are in complete agreement. ¿Entiendes?”

  “Only if we do everything I say.”

  “We’ll see,” Tono huffed, “but this thing we just did. It ends now.”

  “Sure,” Paul said, “this was a fluke.”

  “We get together if Mick is present, and if he wants it.”

  “That goes without saying.”

  Tono’s words contradicted the passion radiating from his eyes. Paul knew they’d started something that was beyond their control, but he was determined to respect Tono’s wishes and Mick’s dignity in every way possible. He couldn’t afford to antagonize Tono, or he’d shut him out of Mick’s life without any question.

  “Tono.” Mick’s voice came from the other side of the door, and both men scrambled to get up.

  “Put some fucking clothes on,” Paul spat.

  “They’re inside.”

  “Shit! So are mine.”

  Tono went into the bathroom and came out with two towels. He threw one at Paul and tied the other around his waist before they went back into the bedroom.

  Mick was lying in bed and turned toward them when they walked in. “Hey.” He smiled, relieved to see his two lovers side by side. “Come sit with me for a minute. I want to talk.”

  “Do you need to use the bathroom first?” Paul asked.

  “Yes. Help me up, will you?”

  Paul and Tono took an arm and pulled Mick up into a sitting position. He found that he was able to sit on his own, and he reached down with his hands and moved his legs, letting them rest on the floor for a minute. He tried to get up, but his body wasn’t cooperating. His leg muscles couldn’t hold his weight, so he allowed Paul and Tono to lift him and half drag, half carry him to the bathroom. They bumped into furniture and got stuck in the doorway until they turned sideways. “We’re going to have to talk about a bigger bathroom,” Paul deadpanned. “This one wasn’t made for a three-way.”

  Mick laughed despite the undignified moment, but it was a refreshing sound, considering the high emotion of the past two hours. He finished his business and they carried him over to the sink so he could brush his teeth and wash his face. When he was done, he allowed Tono to pick him up and carry him back into the room.

  “Do you want to stay here?” Tono asked, sweeping the dark curls out of Mick’s face. “It’s a nice morning, and we could have coffee outside.”

  “That sounds really good.” Mick smiled. “Could you help me with my shorts?”

  Paul picked up his own boxers, pants, and shirt while Tono dressed Mick. The Spaniard slipped into his role of caregiver easily, dressing Mick with gentle care. A part of Paul’s anxiety for his best friend was eased when he observed the loving manner in which Tono handled this new challenge. He dressed Mick slowly, interspersing each step with kisses and words of encouragement. The aggressive competitor disappeared, and Paul wondered what it would feel like to be on the receiving end of such tenderness. Their encounter, although sizzling hot, had been nothing like this. It was lust, pure and simple―devoid of any feeling.

  Tono’s towel slipped onto the floor as he was helping Mick, and Paul soaked up the sight of his magnificent back as it tapered into his slim waist. His hard buttocks curved onto long and sturdy legs, well-defined from years of training. He really had a great body, despite the layer of soft hair that was easily visible from where Paul stood. He was itching to put Tono under his expert touch with a good stainless steel razor, but he was pretty sure that Tono would never allow it. It was a nice fantasy though, and one he planned to revisit.

  Tono threw on his shorts, picked Mick up in his arms effortlessly, and proceeded out to the patio with Paul trailing behind. Once again, Paul found himself staring at Tono’s backside, imagining what it would feel like to slip his hands under the garter of the white athletic shorts, knowing there was only warm skin waiting for him. He snuffed out the thought immediately.

  Tono parked Mick on one of the wrought iron chairs before going back into the kitchen to start the coffee.

  “Are you comfortable?” Paul asked, sitting down across the table from him.

  “I’m fine, now that the shock has passed. Do you suppose I’ll stay like this for a while before I lose control of my hands?”

  “I have no idea,” Paul admitted, “but whatever happens, we’ll deal with it together.”

  “I’m sorry you had to witness my meltdown.”

  “Mick,” Paul said gently, “I love you. I want to help as much as I can.”

  Mick smiled just as Tono joined them with a tray filled with coffee mugs and English muffins, toasted and buttered.

  “Thank you,” Mick said as he reached for his mug. “I think we need to talk about my new challenges.”

  “I think that the first order of business is finding you and Tono a new place to stay.”

  “What’s wrong with this place?” Mick asked.

  “It’s too small, for one thing. The bathroom is not equipped for a wheelchair or any sort of disability,” Paul stated. “I doubt that your landlord will be willing to pour any money into refurbishing it. I have an idea.”

  “What’s that?” Tono asked.

  “You know my family owns Alcott Terrace. Why don’t I see if there are any vacant units? I can have them set it up so that you have the best state of the art equipment in the bathroom, as well as throughout the apartment.”

  “Paul, I can’t accept that. It would be too much.”

  “Mick, it’s mine to give. I want you to see this as my contribution to your cause.”

  “And what cause is that?”
Mick’s brow furrowed.

  “Staying alive, and productive, and reasonably happy,” Paul replied. “I want you around for a long time, and having the best of everything will only ensure that.”

  Mick turned to Tono who’d been watching their exchange. He nodded his head. “Pol’s right. You need more than this apartment, cariño. We can’t stay here.”

  “Look,” Paul interrupted. “It makes sense. This way I’m a few floors away, and even the editing will be easier on all of us if I don’t have to cross town to get to Tono and vice versa.”

  “So you’re serious about helping him?” Mick asked.

  “We’re working on it, Mick. I’ve just started, but yeah, I’ll do it. I’d like to read your sequel as well. Is it complete?”

  “Yes,” Mick answered quickly. “Why are you being so agreeable?”

  “I do have some redeeming qualities, you know,” Paul teased.

  “You’re finally going to get the opportunity to write that tragedy, aren’t you?”

  “Shut up, Mick. I’m editing, and this is not going to be a tragedy; besides, I owe you one.”

  “You don’t owe me anything, Paul, but I will gladly accept your help when it comes to our books. The apartment, I’m not sure. I’d like to see the figures before I decide.”