Betrayal

by Bailey, Sarah

  I sat down and he deposited pancakes in front of me. He hadn’t made me these since the first day he’d taken me. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

  He sat next to me, giving my thigh a squeeze.

  “Eat up, princess.”

  “Is that a new nickname for me?”

  “Maybe.”

  His grey eyes glittered with amusement.

  “I like it.”

  I stuffed my face with as many pancakes as I could. Then I helped him prep the rest of the vegetables for Christmas dinner. It was just the two of us so we didn’t need much. Aiden still insisted on having all the trimmings minus the sprouts.

  “Tina is coming over tomorrow. We usually spend Boxing Day together,” he said. “Leftovers are a must.”

  I grinned. The turkey was in the oven, the veg ready to go. Now, I could get him to sit down with me and watch a film. I took his hand, dragging him away from the kitchen.

  “Are you going to put clothes on today?” I asked.

  “Do you want me to?”

  I pointed at his chest.

  “As much as I like all this, you are rather distracting.”

  He nudged me with his shoulder.

  “Go put on what you want.”

  He slipped away from me into the bedroom. I went into the living room and stopped dead.

  What the…

  Aiden had seriously gone all out. Those presents had not been there yesterday when I went to bed. When did he have time to do all this and why?

  I walked over to the tree and knelt down, checking one of the labels.

  For the light in my darkness. Aiden.

  His handwriting was a little messy, but it made me smile.

  “I thought we agreed to do those after dinner.”

  I glanced up at him.

  “That was before you decided to go all Christmas crazy on me.”

  “I told you, I wanted it to be as normal as possible. Besides, some of those are from James, not me.”

  I stood up before throwing myself into the sofa and grabbing the remote. Aiden sat next to me.

  “Are you mad?” he asked.

  “No. When did he drop those off?”

  “You were asleep very early last night, remember? I wore you out.”

  I felt my face burning. He really had. We barely left the bedroom yesterday.

  “Shh you.”

  I picked a film and we settled in to watch. He groaned most of the way at how ridiculously over the top cheesy it was and kept leaving to check on dinner. It was almost ready by the time we were done.

  We ate so much, both of us could barely move from the kitchen to the living room. I lay on the sofa grumbling with my head in his lap.

  “Presents?” he asked.

  “Too much effort.”

  “I’m not a patient man.”

  And didn’t I know it. I dragged myself up and we sat next to each other by the tree. He made me open mine first.

  Various art supplies, new trainers and several sets of barely-there underwear which I raised an eyebrow at.

  “Is this even considered clothing?” I asked, holding up a very low cut, lacy see-through bra.

  “You’re going to look sexy in it regardless.”

  “I see. These are really for your benefit, aren’t they?”

  He kissed the top of my head.

  “Caught red-handed.”

  James gave me some clothes from his father’s new collection, which admittedly I’d been eying up before the shit with my parents had happened. I fired him off a quick text to say thank you.

  “Okay, so this is your proper present,” Aiden said.

  He handed me the present I’d read the label off before. The light in his darkness. I opened it carefully. Inside was a box and in that box lay a silver necklace. Hanging off the chain was the letter A. I put a hand to my mouth. Holy shit. So simple yet it meant the fucking world to me.

  Underneath the necklace was a business card. I looked it over. It had an intricate rose design on it which reminded me of Aiden’s tattoos.

  Ben Andrews. Tattoo artist.

  Aiden had written something on the back.

  I want you to meet my best friend. And perhaps you’ll let him ink you too.

  “Do you like it?” he asked.

  I nodded, unable to speak. He was letting me in. That was what this meant. He took the necklace from my hand and secured it around my neck. He fingered the A.

  “A reminder that you’re mine. Now and always.”

  “Thank you,” I whispered.

  I put down the box, curled my hand around his neck and kissed him. He’d really made my Christmas perfect. My heart threatened to burst from my chest. Shit. I totally adored this man. Broken parts and all. All of him was perfect to me.

  He cupped my face when I pulled away, staring at me intently.

  “Can I open mine now?”

  I nodded. I’d spent a lot of time perfecting it. I desperately wanted him to like it. I twisted my hands in my lap as he got up and went over to where it was leaning against the window. He turned it over and carefully undid the wrapping paper. I tried not to flinch when he pulled it off and flipped it back around. He set the canvas down on the floor and took a step back.

  He said nothing. I couldn’t see his expression from where I was sitting.

  I’d painted us as angels. Aiden had black wings. He stood before me, cupping my cheek with one hand. I knelt on the floor, my white wings flared out behind me. One of my hands rested on his. It was simple, yet I’d spent forever painting the feathers on our wings. Making sure to get the details just right. I’d even taken the time to try my best to replicate his tattoos as I’d depicted him shirtless.

  “Aiden…?”

  He knelt down on the floor and reached out, touching my wings. He ran his fingers over them before he traced the outline of his own wings.

  “It’s…”

  I didn’t prompt him to continue. My hands shook.

  Does he like it?

  I couldn’t tell. I wished he’d look at me.

  “Avery… I don’t have any words.” His voice was quiet.

  I crawled over to him. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder when I drew level with him.

  “Do you like it?”

  “I love it.”

  I looked up at him. His eyes shone with admiration.

  “You do?”

  “I’m going to hang it above the bed.”

  When he’d told me I was the light in his darkness, I’d known I wanted to paint us this way. I wanted so much for him to understand the depth of my affections. Explaining it in words was impossible.

  “You are?”

  He turned to me, cupping my face.

  “I’m glad you made me promise not to look until it was done. I can’t begin to tell you how fucking incredible you are. Shit. Avery… I really don’t fucking deserve you at all.”

  I didn’t get a chance to respond. He kissed me. A kiss so deep and heartfelt I could barely breathe. He pressed me down on the floor, covering my body with his own. His fingers curled into my hair, holding me still. My heart thudded in my chest. The relief I felt at him loving my gift overwhelmed me. I needed Aiden. I needed him like air. I couldn’t live without him.

  “I don’t want to hurt you, but I will,” he said to me between kisses. “I’ve never been good at this. Fuck. I wish we could stay like this forever. Just you and me.”

  He kept telling me he was going to hurt me.

  “We can.”

  “No, we can’t.”

  His words tore at my soul. What the hell was he going to ask me to do? The need to know threatened to consume me. Why couldn’t he just let go of all of this shit and be in this with me?

  “Why not? I’m yours.”

  He pressed kisses to my cheeks, my jaw and down my neck.

  “I’ve lied to you. I said I’d protect you. Keep you safe. I can’t do a
ny of those things if you do what I’m going to ask of you.”

  I froze. The room suddenly felt very cold. I couldn’t catch my breath. Having him on me was suffocating.

  He’s admitted he’s lied to me. How the fuck can I be okay with that?

  “Aiden…”

  “Shh, let me have this last moment with you before it all goes to shit.”

  “No.”

  He stilled. His lips left my neck.

  “No?”

  “No. You can’t just tell me you’ve lied to me and then expect me to sleep with you. I’m not letting you kiss or fuck it away, Aiden.”

  He raised his head from my neck. His eyes were dark.

  “Yes, you are.”

  He took my hands and pinned them to the floor. I struggled in his grip. What the hell was he doing?

  “You’re going to let me fuck you because you’re mine and you will obey me.”

  There was no way we were having sex now. Not after what he’d just said. I couldn’t.

  “Get off me. I thought we were supposed to have a nice day without any bullshit. Why did you have to ruin it?”

  Tears pricked at my eyes. I wanted so much for him to take those words back. To tell me it was okay. After everything, our promises to each other, this felt like a slap in the face.

  “Is everything you’ve told me a lie? Do you even care, Aiden? Or is this just some kind of game to you? Because I care about you. So tell me if I’ve been stupid to believe you could ever feel anything for me.”

  My heart shattered. Aiden’s eyes flashed with pain. He let go of my wrists, sitting up on top of my legs.

  “You think I don’t care?”

  His expression told me he did, but I was so confused. I couldn’t think straight. I wanted to believe him. So much.

  “How the hell am I supposed to know when you just told me you’ve lied to me?”

  “I’ve never lied about how I feel. Not once.”

  “Then tell me, do you care?”

  His grey eyes flashed with anguish as if my questioning him was physically painful.

  “Of course I fucking care. What more do you want from me, Avery? You’ve taken every fucking ounce of my self-control. I never wanted to feel anything for you, but I do. I feel so fucking much for you. Fuck. You drive me fucking insane. I don’t know how to do this. Everything I say and do hurts you further. What more do I have to do? Tell me because I can’t keep doing this. I can’t. It’s fucking hurting me. Every time you cry. Every fucking time I have to watch you break apart. All I want is to make you fucking happy. What do you want from me? Just fucking tell me already.”

  I want you to love me because I love you.

  Chapter Twenty Six

  Aiden

  Avery stared up at me. Her doe eyes full of tears. Pain. So much fucking pain and heartbreak in her expression. Shit. I hadn’t meant to say any of those things. I hadn’t meant to do anything to hurt her. Not today of all days. This wasn’t a conversation for now. It was a conversation for later, but I’d fucked it up. Just like I fucked up everything else between us.

  That fucking painting killed me. It was everything. Every fucking thing. She laid bare our relationship. She was the light. I was the darkness. And she’d submitted to me. Her light was fucking dimming because of me. Fuck. I hated myself. And I hated what I was doing to her.

  I’m fucked up. So fucked up.

  “I want you to tell me the truth,” she said finally.

  “The truth?”

  “The truth about what the hell it is you want me to do.”

  My heart stopped. Not today. This wasn’t meant to happen today.

  “Now? You want to do this now?”

  She looked away from me. Her small hands fell on my legs, wrapping around my thighs. She’d never looked so tiny. I didn’t fucking deserve this girl. Not at all.

  “No, I don’t want to, but we have to.”

  I wasn’t ready. I couldn’t. I reached down, running my fingers through her hair.

  “Why do you have to push me?”

  “I don’t mean to.”

  Her fingers dug into my thighs. She turned her head back to me. A tear slipped down her cheek. I brushed it away.

  “Please don’t cry.”

  “I don’t want to fight you. I hate it. I hate it so much. Please just tell me. Please, can we get this over with? I’m tired of these secrets.”

  I knew as soon as I uttered those words, she’d either tell me to go fuck myself or worse, actually agree to it. Fuck. She wouldn’t let it rest. I knew her well enough now. She’d push me until I gave in. I didn’t want this escalating further. It needed to end. I only had one course of action left and no matter how much it killed me, I had to do it.

  I leant down, brushing her hair and tucking it behind her ear. Then I whispered in her ear. The more I spoke, the tighter she held me and I felt her break further. I cupped her face, feeling wetness underneath my fingers. She quietly sobbed as I told her exactly what it was I had planned. Every fucking word tore at my soul. I never wanted to ask this of her. I never wanted her to be this involved. And nothing between us would ever be the same again.

  When I was done, I pulled back and rested my forehead against hers.

  “No,” she whispered. “No, no, no, no.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “How can you ask me to do that? How?”

  I shook my head. That wasn’t something I could answer. Too many fucking reasons. Too much she didn’t know or understand.

  “Please, please take it back.”

  “I can’t,” I whispered, stroking her face.

  “Please, Aiden, please. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? Do I really mean so little to you?”

  She meant the fucking world to me. That was the problem. When I’d decided on this plan of action, I didn’t know the girl below me at all. She was supposed to be someone I could manipulate and use. Instead, she’d become the girl I couldn’t fucking live without. The girl I needed. She’d fix me if I let her. She’d soothe me if I allowed her in. And the fucking worst part was I had. She’d began to heal my fucking broken soul. Just by being her.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry? I don’t want you to be sorry. I want you to take that back and find another way. Don’t do this to me, Aiden. Just don’t.”

  If I had another solution, I’d have gone out of my way to work it out. This plan was better than my last one. It meant the end of all the sickening, disgusting things her family had done. And it meant the end of the man who covered it all up. That was why it was so important. That was why I needed her.

  “Do you think I want to ask you to do this for me?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t know if I even know who you are any more. I thought I meant something to you, but if I did, then you’d never ask this of me.”

  Fuck. She was destroying me with every fucking word she said. I could see myself reflected in her eyes. See how sick and twisted I was. See the fucked up man I’d become. The one who couldn’t do anything right by this girl. And fuck, if it didn’t cleave me in two.

  “How can you think you mean nothing? You are the world. My world.”

  “Am I? Am I really? What happened to you telling me you’d kill anyone who tried anything with me? Huh? Does that still stand now?”

  I would fucking destroy them if they tried. They weren’t allowed her. No one was. No one except me.

  “Yes.”

  Her doe eyes filled with tears again.

  “And yet you still expect me to… No. I won’t do it. You don’t understand. I already told my father I wouldn’t. It was my only stipulation regarding the company. I wanted to be free to make a choice and he fucking agreed. You can’t make me do this. I won’t.”

  “Avery…”

  She shoved at my chest, but it was a weak, half-hearted attempt.

  “Stop. Just stop. I can’t. I won’t. You know I’d do an
ything for you. Anything but this. So don’t fucking ask me to do it.”

  I cupped her cheek, running my thumb along her lips. I’d known she’d say no. A part of me always knew. Even if we hadn’t ended up like this, she’d never have agreed to it.

  “I have to.”

  “No, you don’t.”

  “I really do.”

  Tears slipped out over her cheeks again. Fuck. I kissed her. She pushed at my chest again, refusing to respond to me. I didn’t care. I needed her. I wanted her to know how much I needed her. Her submission. Even though I’d done the fucking worst thing possible to her, I had a sick need to prove she was still mine. To show her she wouldn’t be free of me because I could never be free of her.

  “Kiss me, Avery,” I whispered before I pressed my lips to hers again.

  I held her face in place when she tried to turn away.

  “Kiss me.”

  “No, stop it. I don’t want this.”

  “You do. You want me even though I’ve hurt you. Let me take away the pain.”

  She shook her head, more tears spilling from her doe eyes.

  “Stop it, Aiden.”

  “Kiss me.”

  I pressed my mouth to hers and she did. She kissed me like she was drowning. Her hands threaded in my hair. Her tongue curled around mine, fighting against me for dominance. I wouldn’t fucking let her take control. She was mine. I owned her.

  I pressed her legs open, settling between them. She ground against me, causing lust to flood my veins. Fuck. I needed to have her. She moaned against my mouth when I cupped her breast, my thumb running over her nipple. I tugged up her t-shirt, needing her skin on mine. I released her mouth so I could pull it over her head. Her hazel brown doe eyes stared back at me with desire and pain.

  I unhooked her bra and threw it halfway across the room before I bit down on her nipple. She arched up against me, crying out. Fuck. Such fucking perfect tits. Her fingers went to my t-shirt and I let her take it off me. She dug her nails into my chest, scraping them down my skin. Fuck. She knew that made me crazy.

  “I hate you,” she whispered.

  “I know you do.”

  I claimed her mouth again and she dug her nails in my back, holding me closer. I tugged at her jeans, unbuttoning them before I tore them off her legs. I didn’t even bother taking her underwear off. I ripped it in half, desperate to see her naked beneath me. Fuck. She was so beautiful. So stunning. And I needed in her.