"I took it from you that night on the beach," he said.
Mateo wouldn't look me in the eye.
"What do you mean you took it from me?"
"That night at the beach, my friend Carl took the watch when we were skinny dipping."
"You mean that whole evening we spent together was a scam?" I raised my voice.
I was fucking furious. My voice was so loud that it scared even Pablo who went and hid under the table.
"It wasn't."
"What do you mean it wasn't? You met me that night to take my watch?"
I snatched it back from his hands. I thought I had lost this watch forever, one that my best friend Jay had given me for being his best man at his wedding. It had so much sentimental value.
"Look, it's not like that. I wanted to give it back to you sooner but I didn't know how. I didn't want to upset you. I'm sorry."
"Who the fuck are you? How do you expect me to trust you on this ship?"
"I'm sorry, Remy. I was desperate and I needed a way back home."
"Is this all this is? A way back home for you?"
My fists clenched.
"No, Remy. I'm sorry."
Tears clouded his eyes and my heart wrenched seeing him sad. But I felt so betrayed. I took him on this ship and invited him to be part of my crew. Trust was all we had in this vast ocean. Without it, we would all be dead.
Before I could say anything else, he turned around and descended the stairs.
I was in the empty helm by myself. The loneliness crept up on me again. I felt that same dreadful disconnected feeling from the world. In the vast ocean, it felt like nothing fucking mattered.
All the things that Mateo and I shared weren't real. He was using me as a way to go back home. How foolish was I to trust him, to think he was genuine? I laughed to myself.
I put the watch back on my wrist, and I thought of Jay. Why couldn't my life be like his? He was happy and successful with a handsome husband who cared for his children.
He was in our hometown in Halifax where he could spend time with his friends and family. Why was I here? What was the fucking point?
I called Drake up to the helm through the intercom. A few moments later, he arrived.
"Hey Drake, you mind doing the night shift tonight? I need some rest."
Drake nodded without saying a word.
"Waters should be clear, stay on-course due south-west for the next six hours and I'll come back up to take it from there."
Drake nodded again and sat down in the chair.
I called Pablo to come down to my bedroom. As I passed the sleeping chamber, I saw Mateo curled up in the bottom bunk with his face to the wall. He looked so vulnerable in that position.
Pablo and I headed to my bedroom, the sheets were cool to the touch. I stripped naked and jumped in bed. All I wanted to do was sleep the pain away. The pain of someone who I lost trust for.
My eyes drifted to the familiar rocking of the waves, the hum of the propellers.
*****
When I woke up again, I knew something was wrong. I looked at the time and it hadn't been two hours since I passed out.
Fuck! I look through the porthole and I couldn't see anything but heavy rain.
I ran up to the helm and I saw the panicked look on Drake's face, trying to steer the ship.
"What the fuck is happening?" I yelled.
"I drifted off by accident and I didn't see that we were heading for a storm."
I ran to the control board and shoved him aside. My heart pounded looking out at the violent waters. Waves that were twice as high as the ship.
"The waters were clear on the radar, where the fuck did this storm come from?"
"I don't know, it crept up. I didn't see it either."
I tried to steer the vessel around. I pulled the alarm to let the crew know we were in a state of emergency.
It was too fucking late, we were in the eye of it. I'd never seen waves so big. It was the risk of fishing in the Atlantic.
These storms were more violent and unpredictable. They crept out of nowhere. I should have stayed in the helm earlier. I could have avoided this.
The waves grew double the size and they looked higher than skyscrapers. The lights flickered in the helm and the control board lost power. For seconds we were in the dark. Complete blackness. I felt my hands begin to shake.
When the backup generator kicked in, the lights flickered on again and in front was a wave facing us head-on. We were a speck of dust in this ocean. The wave drew closer to the boat.
We were at the base of this wave and we couldn't even see the sky. It smashed onto the boat.
More darkness.
I didn't know which direction was up. Water surrounded us.
Stillness for a second.
Submerged under the water, it was quiet.
My crew member, Jake, rushed up to the helm. He panted and said something but in my state of shock, I didn’t hear what he said. For the first time as captain, I didn’t know what to do. This storm was bigger than anything I had ever imagined.
"We have to go," Jake, repeated. "There's a hole in the ship, we have to evacuate."
I stood there stunned. My whole life was here on this ship.
I looked out into the darkness of the ocean. The ocean that had given me peace, purpose, and life had taken it all away in an instant.
"Let's go!" Jake yelled pulling my arm.
I snapped out of my daze and the first thing that popped into my head was making sure Mateo and Pablo were okay. I rushed down to the sleeping chambers. Mateo wasn't there.
Water was starting to leak from a crack in the walls. The frigid waters were already up to my knees. I ran into my bedroom and in the corner, Mateo was holding onto a panting and shivering Pablo.
"Let's go, we have to get out of here," I said.
I grabbed onto Mateo's hand and hoisted Pablo under my arms. We walked on deck and the crew was lowering the lifeboats. I put a life vest on and handed one to Mateo.
Half the crew had already left the ship. By now the waves were still violent but it was easier to leave the eye of the storm in the small boats.
I helped Pablo and Mateo into the last one, Drake and I climbed on. We were the last ones to leave. In the darkness, we couldn't see the other three boats. We all had one thing to do. Get the fuck away from the storm as fast as possible.
I watched my ship get tossed around in the waves as we sped out on the lifeboat. Mateo's eyes fixed onto nothing, he looked dead behind his eyes. Pablo whimpered, tongue out to the side, wondering what was happening.
I couldn't believe this was real. I prayed that I was still in my bed, having the worst nightmare of my life. But the rush of emotions I felt reminded me I wasn't in a dream.
There was a compass in my pocket. I figured that our best bet was to go south-west. I hoped to run into another ship that would rescue us.
I ran my hands behind Pablo's ears, letting him know everything was alright. But I wasn't even sure if we were going to survive this myself. Then I looked at Mateo.
I realized that I left my watch in my bedroom. I realized how insignificant it was after what was happening. Though it had sentimental value, it was replaceable. Our lives were not. And I prayed that all the boats made it out so that all my men could return back to their families.
As we sped out of the eye of the storm, the waters calmed. The rain still poured down but not as hard, and in the distance, we saw some land.
"We should go there for the evening until the weather settles down," I said to Drake almost screaming over the loudness of the storm.
"Are you sure? It might be better if we keep going in case it gets worse."
"We will be fine on land, I worry we're going to hit something else if we keep going. It's better if we continue when it's light out."
Drake nodded and steered the lifeboat to a small island that had tall trees on it. In the darkness, I could see large rocks surrounding it. We circled the island to f
ind a spot to dock our boat and bring it up onto the island.
I helped Mateo up onto the rocks, then Drake got out helping Pablo out. I climbed up while holding onto a rope tied to the lifeboat. I found a sturdy tree and tied the rope to it.
The three of us walked under the large trees. They protected us from the heavy rain. The dense leaves dampened the loud rumble of distant thunder. My hands and feet were numb from the cold water.
But I was too exhausted to even care. My body collapsed against a tree. I took a moment to catch my breath. I was in awe that I was still alive.
I was glad the entire crew got off the sinking ship. As for where they were, I had no clue. I held Mateo's body close to me. I didn't even care Drake was there to see it. I felt Mateo's cool skin on mine. Our bodies warmed up against each other as we stared out into the blackness of the ocean.
Pablo laid by my feet. He wasn't panting as hard but he was shivering.
I looked over at Drake who had an emotionless stare into the rain. He sat against the tree next to us.
I was glad we were okay, but my mind couldn't let go of the fact of everything I had lost. It was my home, my work, my joy, my sacrifice. The pit in my stomach grew deeper.
"Where do you think we are?" Mateo asked.
"I don't know," I uttered. "I wish I did, but I have no idea. I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry. It's not your fault."
"But it is. I was the fucking captain of the ship. I was in charge. I am liable for everyone's safety and I fucked up."
"It's okay," Mateo whispered.
Mateo grabbed my hand, and he unclenched my fist to put his hand in mine.
"My dad had given it to me the ship when he retired and now it was gone forever."
"I know, I know. But we're okay," Mateo reassured.
He leaned his head on my shoulder and grabbed onto my hand tighter.
It'll be better in the morning, in the light, I told myself.
10
Mateo
I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, but my mind was running away from me. I woke up to the sun beaming on my face through the leaves on the trees. I noticed that Drake and Pablo were no longer there. Neither was Remy.
I sat up against the tree. The next thing I noticed was how uncomfortable I felt in my clothes that were still wet. I decided to take my shirt off and put it on the rock to dry.
The initial shock of being stuck on this island faded away. The weather was so warm and sunny that it felt more like we were on an island getaway vacation.
It was like exploring a new place for the first time. My mind was trying to understand everything about this place. The island was small but I felt protected by the large trees. It sat on large rocks that elevated us from the frigid waters. We were high enough so that the waves couldn't wash us away.
I got up and decided to explore the island. I walked through the dense trees and saw a plateaued area with tall grass. I walked through it.
The grass tickled my bare legs, and I could see small islands like ours in the distance. I squinted my eyes to see if there were any orange lifeboats like ours. I wondered if the rest of the crew were nearby but I couldn't see anything.
I heard footsteps coming from the trees. When I turned around Pablo was running up towards me with a smile and his tongue sticking out. He greeted me with his tail wagging.
It must be nice from his point of view. He saw this as nothing but an adventure. Remy walked towards me with a box that was the size of a briefcase. I was happy to see him and though we were in a terrible situation I couldn't help but smile.
"Good morning," I greeted.
He nodded his head.
"I found this in the boat. There are some matches, flint, and dehydrated food packets. But our first priority should be to have enough fresh water for us including the dog."
"How about shelter?" I asked.
"That will be our second priority."
"Where's Drake at, is he okay?"
"He is, he might be walking around to see what he can find."
Remy leaned in close and gave me a kiss on the forehead.
"I'm sorry," he uttered.
"For what?"
"For putting us in this situation."
"Remy, don't worry about that. Let's focus on getting help and staying alive."
"You're right, let's do that."
It was odd seeing him look so defeated. In the short time I've known him, I never saw him so down on himself. He had glazed eyes and I could see his pain. It must have been from everything he lost.
"Let's make this better," he said.
He held onto my hand, and we walked along the coast of the plateau. There was an opening that dipped into the side of the rocks and we climbed down to see what was there. It was a shallow cave inside, deep enough that it protected us from the wind when we walked inside.
"This will be a good place to sleep tonight until we find help or until someone finds us," Remy said.
I agreed that this was a nice place to sleep. But I also knew that if we didn't find help soon, this would be the end of us.
When we climbed out of the cave, we walked back into the trees to find Drake. He was near the other end of the island and he had a pile of wood next to him building some type of shelter.
"Drake, we found a cave that will be good for us for the time being. We don't need to build a structure," Remy said.
"You guys can stay in it," Drake replied. "I'll be here in the trees away from the elements."
"Well, there's no use to be wasting your energy on it when nature already has something built," Remy said.
"No, you boys can do whatever the fuck you want. I'll do whatever the fuck I want. In the end, we're not going to be here long so let's focus on getting out," Drake raised his voice and got into Remy's face.
Remy's brows furrowed and he looked him dead in the eyes with his fists clenched.
"Suit yourself," Remy said. "But if we want to all get out of here alive, we need to work together as a team."
"There's no team anymore. You are no longer the captain. It's not in your hands anymore," Drake said.
Remy backed off him. He put his hands on my shoulders and we walked back to the cave.
"We'll give the man some space. We're all different people who handle situations differently. Some with anger. He'll cool off in the evening."
"Do you think he's angry because of me?" I asked.
"Nonsense, why would you ask that?" Remy asked.
"Because he saw how close we were last night. Is he jealous?"
"It's been a while since anything happened between me and Drake. He's frustrated that we're stuck here."
We went inside the cave and we collected small sticks and kindling to start the fire. With the flint and the machete that was in the box, we made a decent fire and warmed up our cold bodies. By then my stomach was grumbling and all I could think about was food.
I looked through the dehydrated food packets and knew that we needed water to eat it. We hadn't thought about freshwater yet and that thought only reminded me how thirsty I was.
That familiar feeling of fear crept up on me again, fear that I was going to starve before I saw tomorrow.
11
Remy
To say I wasn't feeling the lowest I've felt in my entire life was a lie. My chest and my stomach ached the entire first day and I couldn't stay awake. All I wanted to do was sleep in that cave that we found.
I wanted to wake up from this nightmare. We had a fire going in the cave. The breeze coming from the ocean brought in a nice draft.
In the forest, we managed to find large leaves that held some water from yesterday's rainfall. We managed to save some in water pouches from the survival box.
"I'm starting to get hungry," Mateo said.
I had been zoning out to the sounds of the waves crashing upon the rocks. The sun was about to set and my body trembled at the thought of darkness that was to come. The darkness that had consumed us the previous night.
I looked at the soft curves of Mateo's face from the orange glow of the fire.
"Let's go up to find Drake and get a packet of food," I suggested.
I reminded myself that I had to be strong for him and my dog.
Remy by the Sea Page 7