"How often did she see her family?"
"Bus tickets away from the city to the countryside were expensive so she only saw them once a year. After a while, she tried to mentally disconnect from them. It was easier than missing them all the time. She had to let go."
"Are they close now?"
"Yeah, times are different now. They reconnected when most of them moved to the city. My family is very grateful for my mom for what she sacrificed. But she still feels like the black sheep, she's not able to connect with them. Part of that has to do with working so much when she was young so she didn't have any teenage experiences. It's a complicated family on top of that, one that can be very toxic. But as with most people who really care for each other, they all balance each other out."
"How did your parents meet?"
"They met at a restaurant where my dad was a bartender for his uncle and my mom was a server there. They were in their early twenties. My mom had never dated anyone before and she used to make fun of my dad to other servers for trying to become a pilot. But I guess that's how their love story started."
"And they're still together?"
"Yeah, for thirty years now. It's an interesting dynamic. My mom demands a lot of control and wears the pants in the family. But she balances my dad who takes a more passive and caring role. My mom also has a tendency to be manipulative and abusive but she doesn't know it. That's just how she handled her traumas when she was younger."
"What kind of abuse?" I asked.
"Well, sometimes her need for control gets the best of her. She goes into fits of rage where all she sees is red and she can't snap out of it. She acts almost childlike. She would take it out on either me, my dad, or my sister, and the only way that it would stop is for time to pass. Then for the next few days, it would take her a bit to calm down. She would hold a grudge for a bit but then she would always get over it. It was a cycle that I remember clearly. I would wait for the days for it to be over before I had the balls to talk to her again."
"Do you miss them now?" I asked.
"Very much so. I know there's a conversation we need to have. It's been a lot on my mind for the past little while and I want to get home to talk. I realized this during my trip to Europe."
Mateo looked out in the horizon scanning for any sign of boats or ships. Like he had done so many times in the past few weeks.
"We'll get out of here soon," I said.
I said it to reassure him but I had no idea if that day will ever come. But I had to be strong for him. He needed me more than I needed him, and I knew the only way we'd ever survive this is with some hope.
There was a storm that night. The structure that we had built was now strong enough that we felt safe inside. We had sealed the roof with more wooden sticks weaved with leaves so that it was waterproof as well.
For the first time in what felt like forever, we were comfortable in the rain.
The sounds of the thunder and lightning used to startle Pablo but had gotten used to it. Mateo laid on my chest as I ran my fingers through his curly hair. It was getting long. His face was still smooth and bare.
His vulnerability to me earlier that day had ignited a bigger spark between us. We spent the whole day quietly catching fish and enjoying each other's company.
Mateo's hand ran up and down my thighs. The sensation made my cock press against his back which he definitely felt.
I tilted his face back and kissed him on his lips. He let out a quiet moan as I slipped my tongue in his mouth which tasted of the coconut water he was sipping on. Mateo put his hand on my stubbly cheeks and pulled me in further.
Air seeped in through the thin cracks between the wood in the walls. Mateo's nipples hardened because of it. I put him on the soft bed of leaves and tall grass and I put my body over his.
We were naked already and had been for the past few days when we realized that clothes were more of a hassle. I felt free.
I wanted to be rough with him that night. There was this urge inside of me. This anger that was brought on earlier today talking about my brother that needed to be released. But I couldn't do that to my Mateo. He was all I had. I thought of the way he looked at me today with his kind hazel eyes that acknowledged my pain.
I grinded my hips down to his. Our erections crossed like swords. His body was warm, mine was warmer. Mateo clawed onto my back as I buried my face in his neck kissing it softly. I let out a rumbly groan tasting the saltiness of the ocean from our swim earlier that day.
With both my hands, I flipped him over. I continued to kiss the back of his neck then down his spine that narrowed to the perky hills of his ass. He squirmed under my grip breathing heavily in the small shack that we had created together.
I couldn't help but think about how well our bodies fit together.
Maybe it was because I hadn't seen another person in a long time or maybe he was actually this amazing. I felt so lucky.
When my tongue reached above his ass, Mateo had turned his face to the side biting his lip. That's when I spread him open revealing his pink hole that made me want to dive right in and lick.
I drew small circles between his cheeks while pulling his ass up to meet my face. I devoured him like I was a wild animal and he let me.
I wrapped my arm around Mateo and pressed my hand against his chest feeling his racing heart. He put his hand on mine and held me tight.
"Fuck me, baby," he cried out.
"I love it when you say that," I smiled. "How do you want it?"
"Whatever you want that'll make you happy," he said.
"What if I want it rough?"
His brows raised with concern.
"How rough?" He hesitated.
"I won't hurt you, I just want to get some of this energy out."
Mateo paused again, "Okay."
I pulled his hips higher until he was on all fours. I grabbed an aloe leaf and squirted a large cold line of aloe on my cock. Then, I spread some on his hole that puckered and relaxed. I inserted my finger in his tight opening and watched my middle finger disappear inside him. I felt his muscles contract my finger tight drawing it in deeper like a suction cup.
"Relax, baby," I instructed.
I felt him loosen up a bit but not by much.
My cock pulsed admiring his arched back that led to his spread open and perky ass. Wild thoughts popped in my head of fucking him hard to let out all this anger inside me. Anger that had nothing to do with him. But I knew I couldn't do it to him.
I turned him around and I kissed him gently. We were back into the position that we were used to that made him feel safer. The worried look on his face disappeared.
Mateo wrapped his legs around my back and he nodded to let me know he was ready. Slowly, I slipped the head of my cock inside him. He wrapped his hands around my neck burying his face in my beard moaning softly as I slid in.
Our hearts beat against each other's chest. I inserted myself deeper and deeper until I was all the way inside him.
I paused for a moment letting his body feel the entire length of my cock. His lips were pursed open begging for me to kiss him. I glided in and out of him gently as I did.
His cock was pressed between us rubbing against my abs. I felt his precum leak onto the both of us. I put my finger on the tip of his cock and tasted his juice.
It was sweeter than I imagined and probably tasted much better than mine. I pumped my cock in and out of him hard, bracing his hips with my hands.
Mateo grabbed onto my thighs and closed his eyes biting his lips harder and moaning louder.
I looked down and watched him erupt rounds of semen without his hands touching his cock. Seeing him so turned on made me explode into a mind-numbing orgasm. I erupted cum inside his pulsating hole.
I collapsed my body onto him, both of us heaving and exhausted.
I turned to him and we both smiled at each other then he let out a giggle.
"What?" I asked.
"Nothing," he said, still with a slight smile on his
face.
*****
It was morning and the sun was coming through the slits of the wood. Mateo was laying on my chest. I couldn't fall back asleep so I went for a walk through the forest with Pablo.
Beautiful purple flowers had bloomed that day, ones that I had never seen before. Pablo sniffed them then peed on the bright violet petals.
There was a lot of my mind that morning and it had been like that the whole night. I had been thinking how fortunate I was this summer. From the random encounter at the bar with Mateo to even the wreckage that left us stranded here together.
This experience made me realize something. I didn't need much of anything at all. The island provided us with food and water, materials to build a shelter, my dog, and of course Mateo. Mateo kept me sane.
And a thought popped into my head. How crazy would it be to stay here forever? Leaving the pressure of being a Captain behind. Running away from all the problems that had plagued my everyday life when I was home in Canada.
A slight breeze caressed my naked body and reaffirmed my belief that I was in fact in paradise.
But I hadn't gone full crazy yet. I thought about my family who would miss me. My parents who would lose not one son but two. My friends back home especially Jay and Dylan. Those people would miss me so much and the thought of them trying to find me made my heart sink.
I found a large rock in the middle of the forest. I could see the sun when I looked up from there. The surrounding trees and leaves created a small aperture of light. I laid on that warm rock that heated up my back and watched a bird fly back to her nest. The chicks stopped chirping to eat the food she brought back. Pablo stood up on his hind legs resting his front paws on the trunk looking up at them.
If it was a time to leave, it would be now when we still had food and enough energy to build a raft. Fuck, what was I thinking to leave this place and go out into the violent oceans that consumed my ship? The breeze that tickled my body earlier had now sent a shiver down my spine and left a lump in my throat.
Maybe it was shame I was running away from. Shameful that after all my dad had taught me, after all the energy he poured into me that I would fuck up this much. Every crew member’s families who I would have to face and break the news to. All the regret, and fear that would come with leaving. The men who may have died along the way.
Maybe I had already died in this accident. That this was the afterlife that was telling me everything is okay. Maybe that's why we hadn't seen another soul since we arrived. We stopped looking for ships because we knew that there would be none we could see.
But if this was the afterlife, why was Drake here? And why did he leave? What role did he play in all this? Was he of significance in my life?
I heard a rumble in the sky, through the aperture formed by the trees, I saw a plane fly above us. It reminded me that I was still on earth.
I quieted the thoughts in my head because they were not helping. This experience had fucked me up more than I imagined, I was losing my sanity. Or was I actually coming onto something? Maybe it's how the brain works. When it's not bombarded by constant stimulation, of capitalist greed, of anxiety-inducing media, of jam-packed cities filled with unhappy people.
Pablo jumped up on the rock and looked at me in a funny way with his tongue sticking out. His head tilted to the side.
What would my dog do? I wondered. Would he stay or would he try to leave? Would he risk his life to go back or would he want to stay here and spend it in a place where things aren't either good or bad?
I ran my hands through his delicate white and black fur as he closed his eyes and rest his long face on my chest. I wish I was a dog, without any of these consuming thoughts, just another day and another adventure.
I walked back through the forest to see if Mateo had woken up. The fallen leaves made a satisfying crumpling sound under the weight of my body. The sounds of the leaves transitioned to waves rushing against the rocks. I felt the tall grass of the plateau graze my thighs, the wonderful sensation made my cock a bit hard. Maybe it also had to do with the anticipation of seeing Mateo's beautiful face. I hadn't been gone for long but even a minute without him felt like an eternity.
I peered my head inside the shack and in that moment I began to panic. Mateo wasn't inside.
"Mateo!" I screamed.
I whipped my body back outside and turned in circles.
"MATEO!" I screamed again. This time so loud that it echoed back at me and the ground rumbled.
I felt my hands clench in rage and in fear.
"Where the fuck are you?" I screamed one more time.
Then, I heard the sounds of quick footsteps coming from the direction of the forest.
The first thing I saw was Mateo's hazel eyes emerging from the green trees.
"I'm here, I went to get water," he said.
I ran towards him and pressed his face hard on my chest. He must have felt my racing heart but I couldn't let him go.
14
Mateo
The strength of Remy's grip holding onto me was almost suffocating.
"What's wrong, Remy?" I asked.
"Nothing," he said.
He loosened his grip and we both looked at his red handprint on my shoulder.
"Nothing?" I asked again.
I knew there was something.
"Just tell me, I'm right here," I said.
He looked down onto the ground avoiding my eyes. Though he was a huge burly man, I saw someone who was terrified.
A few times, Remy opened his mouth but then closed it again. Words didn't come out.
"I thought I lost you," Remy whispered.
"I'm right here, babe. I'm not going anywhere. We're a team. We're going to stick together."
"What if we stay here forever?" He asked.
His eyes lit up.
"There was something wrong, I could tell. He didn't seem all there."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
I tried to hide the quiver in my voice with a smile.
"I mean, we're here on this island together with food and water. We have shelter. We have Pablo. We have each other. We don't need to go anywhere."
I took a step back from him looking at him to make sure we were in the same reality.
"Remy? Are you okay? We can't fucking stay here forever. We're on an island."
"We can though, it will be paradise here. We won't have to go back to all our problems."
"I'm twenty-four years old. I want to have a life. I want to explore the world. Remy, you're starting to scare me. This wasn't the plan. We need to get out and go home to our families and friends."
"I don't want to go back," Remy sighed.
"Why?"
"I don't want to face the music, the shame of sinking my ship into the ocean. It's fucking terrifying. All the families I'll have to face. All the men who are lost."
"We don't know if we lost anyone yet. For all we know, everyone is safe and sound and they're still trying to look for us. We can't lose hope."
I grabbed onto his thick arms. Had it not been how big he was, I would have thought I was talking to a little boy.
"We'll survive this," I reassured.
Remy knelt down and hugged me.
"Sorry Mateo. I don't know what's coming over me. Maybe it's the stress or the delusion of it all."
"We're here for each other. I'm not going anywhere without you. I can't. I need you."
"I need you too."
He kissed my lips. His beard brushed against my cheeks.
Remy was this big and strong man but the longer I was on this island I realized that he too had vulnerabilities.
"Let's try to have a plan. We've waited this long and so far we've seen no one come by," I said.
"We can build a raft and venture out into the ocean. But it's the Atlantic Ocean. We will freeze to death if things go wrong."
"That or we die here, forever isolated."
Remy by the Sea Page 10