by S S Bazinet
Rolphe chuckled and pointed at Arel’s chest. “Your heart took you where you were needed most.”
“I’m afraid for my neighbor’s lost dog.”
“Elise’s dog?”
“Yes, it’s still a puppy, and it’s going to get itself killed if I—” Arel paused in mid-sentence when Rolphe suddenly disappeared. “Rolphe? Where did you go?”
Arel scanned the area and realized he was alone again. “Maybe Rolphe isn’t as helpful as I thought,” he grumbled.
But he didn’t have time to think about Rolphe. Freddie’s situation came first. The puppy was already nearing the top of the street and would soon be back at the busy intersection. “Freddie, no! If you die, what’s going to happen to Elise?”
As he anxiously tracked Freddie’s progress, he observed something very strange. Freddie suddenly skidded to a stop, froze for a moment, then turned tail. In the next instant, he made a mad dash back towards Arel.
Arel smiled when he realized what or more correctly who had scared the puppy. “Rolphe, I’m sorry for misjudging you again. You really do have your moments!”
Rolphe hadn’t just disappeared. He’d tapped into Arel’s thoughts and understood the problem. He’d quickly taken action. He reappeared directly in front of Freddie, waved his ghostly hands, and startled the puppy enough to make him reverse course.
As Freddie raced towards him, Arel had to get Elise’s attention again. But instead of yelling at her, he’d send her an image of where he was standing. He was at a corner, under intersecting street signs. Since she was familiar with the neighborhood, she’d know his location once she saw the street names.
Freddie arrived as he flashed out the image a second time. Again, the puppy tried to jump up on Arel and failed. After that the puppy crept under a bush with exhaustion. The little dog was panting hard and clearly ready for his adventure to end.
Five minutes later, Elise’s car pulled up to the curb. Arel didn’t have a chance to celebrate or even smile. Whatever was governing his movements set his astral body in motion. He felt himself speeding towards his next appointment.
* * * * *
Elise had never experienced anything like the strange communications that she was getting from Arel. With William’s encouragement, she felt more at ease with the process, but having someone’s voice in her head was unnerving.
She gave William a quick glance when the latest message came in. “I just got this very strong flash. I saw a street sign. It’s not too far away. I should be there in a few minutes.”
William continued clasping the console and bracing his other hand on the side door. “You seem to be very good at picking up Arel’s messages. Not everyone is as receptive.”
“I guess that’s a good thing, right? I’m not some feeble-minded stooge who’s easy to control, am I?”
“I’m sure that’s not the case.”
Elise noted William’s rigid posture. “I’m sorry if my driving frightened you when I got that first message. Are you alright?”
“I’m still tired from my trip, that’s all.”
“And worried about Annabel? I think she’ll get better very quickly with you here. She’s an amazing person. She can be so innocent about the world one minute and so wise and brilliant the next. We’ve had a lot of fun since she arrived.”
William pulled a hand back from the side door and sat up a straighter. “Annabel’s spoken very highly of you, too.”
“William?”
“Yes?”
“About Arel, it’s strange, but with his messages and communications, I feel like I’m getting to know him a little better.”
“What do you mean?”
“I could feel his concern for Freddie. I think he was very intent on helping.”
William let out a mocking laugh. “I’m sorry, Elise. It’s just that I’ve been on the receiving end of Arel’s ‘helpfulness’ and his panic. I suppose he means well, but let’s just remember that old saying about the road to hell being paved with good intentions.”
Elise didn’t have time to question William’s response. She pulled up to the curb and turned off the engine. “We’re here. Hopefully, Freddie’s close too.”
Elise jumped out of the car and immediately called out Freddie’s name. As she looked at her surroundings, a small ball of white fur shot out from some nearby bushes. Elise felt her heart do a leap of triumph as she stooped down to greet Freddie. When she had him safely in her grasp, she realized she’d been almost afraid to breathe when she thought he was lost forever.
As she kissed Freddie’s fuzzy head, she was mentally sending out prayers of gratitude. She hoped that Arel knew how much he’d done for her. There was an added bonus. Once she got used to hearing Arel’s voice in her head, she liked having him so close. Now that he was gone, she missed him.
William tapped her shoulder. “Elise, do you want me to hold Freddie while you drive back home?”
Elise handed over the puppy and watched as Freddie made himself comfortable in William’s arms. She gave William a weak smile and a fitful sigh. “You have a way with animals. Freddie likes you.”
“Did I miss something, Elise? You found your puppy, but you don’t look too happy.”
“It’s just that it was kind of nice to work with Arel like that.”
“You said he shouted at you.”
“Yes, but now I realize it was because he cared so much. Michael and Carey were right when they sang his praises. Arel is a very passionate man.”
“I would have thought you knew that about him. The two of you did date for a couple of months.”
Elise blinked back and finally shrugged. “I don’t think he ever showed that side to me. He was nice and very kind, but looking back, I realize that he never expressed any real passion.” Elise paused as her brows narrowed with sudden apprehension. “Do you think it’s because I’m not attractive?”
William began to pet Freddie, but he avoided her question.
Elise pressed on. She needed to know if there was something about her physically that might have prevented Arel from wanting her. “William, please, you’re a man, and you know me a little. So talk to me. I know I’m not a Claire, but do you think a man like Arel could find me desirable?”
This time, she didn’t have to wait for her question to get a response. When William shifted his gaze and looked back at her, his pale blue eyes were intense and penetrating. His focus was so one-pointed that Elise found herself blushing. Still, William seemed to be the type of person who could be trusted to come up with an honest answer.
Finally, William looked away and cleared his throat. “All that I can say is that you would have made a very good match for him. But like I told you before, Arel can also drive a person crazy. So maybe you should forget about him and get on with your life.”
“But I don’t want to forget about him. I want to know why he acted the way he did. I know I wasn’t the nicest, but when we first started dating, I wasn’t that bad. In the beginning, I think I was waiting for Arel to give me a reason to care about the relationship. Instead, it’s almost like he wanted me to be bitter. It gave him an excuse to push me aside.”
Forty-Seven
AREL'S ASTRAL FORM traveled so quickly from a street in Chicago to Paris that he let out a gasp on arrival. He was still celebrating Freddie’s safe return when he glanced around Rolphe’s bedroom. It wasn’t on fire anymore. The boys were gone, and so was Rolphe. “Dammit, what if he’s dead, and his ghost was helping me find Freddie?”
“I’m sorry that I’m a cause for concern,” Rolphe said as he came in from the hall.
Arel swiveled around with irritation. “Will you ever stop sneaking up on me?”
Rolphe braced a hand on the door jamb, but he didn’t reply.
“There I go again, getting mad when I came here to help. I’m the one who should be apologizing.”
Rolphe turned and slowly made his way down the hall. “Let’s talk in the studio. I’ve spent too much time in my bedroom
recently.”
Arel followed Rolphe, wondering how the tall, muscular man looked as well as he did after being so sick. He could only guess that Rolphe’s recuperative abilities were excellent. “The last time I was here, your bedroom looked like a scene out of Dante’s Inferno. What happened?”
Rolphe walked over to his easel and sat down heavily. “I came to my senses. You kept telling me not to let my emotions get out of control. I should have listened.”
Arel sighed. “So many times, I should have listened to myself.”
“Are you still angry with me, Arel? If you are, I understand. In fact, I’ll understand if you ban me from your life entirely.”
Arel thought about the time he’d first spent with Rolphe. While Rolphe recuperated from a heart attack, Arel hadn’t been easy to appease. Still, Rolphe tried his best to show his appreciation. At one point, Arel realized that Rolphe was sincere. “Rolphe, I once told you that I’d try to be your friend. I guess I haven’t lived up to that statement.”
Rolphe inspected one of his brushes but didn’t respond.
Arel wandered over to a chair and sat down. “What the hell, Rolphe. I should be so much further along than I am.”
“You’ve recently gone through a very painful experience. Your relationship with Claire stirred up the past.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m sorry that I introduced you to her. I should have been more careful.” Rolphe replaced the brush and looked away. “That’s another thing you’re always telling me, that I don’t think enough about the consequences of my actions.”
“You introduced me to Claire, but how were you to know that things wouldn’t work out?”
“When William warned me, I should have probed deeper into who Claire was and what she thought.”
Arel let out a scoffing laugh. “Don’t worry about that one, Rolphe. I wouldn’t have listened to you any more than I listened to William. When I was with Claire, I only saw what I wanted to see until—”
“What happened?”
“Oh please, Rolphe. It’s obvious that you’re able to tune into my mind.”
“Yes, sometimes, when your shields are down. But I try not to pry.”
“But you do pry, don’t you?”
Rolphe glanced up and frowned. “Sometimes, but it’s not because of curiosity. When the people I care about are having problems, I get these bad feelings.” Rolphe clasped his hands in his lap. “It’s difficult because I want to help, but most of the time, I can’t.”
Arel leaned back in his chair. He’d almost forgotten that he was in his astral body. Everything felt so real. He and Rolphe were talking as if he was there in the flesh. Yet, not many people saw Arel in his astral body. “You’re very gifted, Rolphe, and I suspect that you’ve always had psychic abilities.”
Rolphe shrugged. “Yes, whether I wanted them or not.”
“What did you mean when you said that my relationship with Claire stirred up the past?”
Rolphe looked away again. “I spoke out of turn. Forget what I said.”
Arel stood up and walked over to Rolphe’s easel. “No, I will not forget it. If you have something to say, say it.”
Rolphe shook his head. “Please, I need to take a vow of silence around you and William. Look what happened when I spoke my mind about William’s childhood.”
“I’m not William. He’s had a problem with that subject for a very long time. I’m ready to get on with my life. If I have a problem too, I want to deal with it. So tell me what you’re thinking.”
Rolphe groaned. “Is that an order?”
Arel noted Rolphe’s face and posture. His humility was evident, but he had his shields up. That meant he was denying Arel access to his thoughts. “What’s going on with you?”
“I’ve been fooling myself, playing at being a father, like helping you with that puppy. But it’s wrong. I have to stay out of your life, out of William’s life. If you want to know something, talk to the blessed one, Michael.”
“Michael? He’s not going to give me a straight answer! He’ll do what he always does. He’ll turn every question I have back on me.”
Rolphe returned a quick smile. “He believes in you. He knows you already have the answers.”
Arel wandered back to his chair and sat down again. “I wish that was true. When I think about Claire, I don’t understand what I did wrong. I tried to be what she wanted, and she seemed to almost hate me for it.”
“What attracted you to her beside the fact that she’s beautiful?”
Arel sighed. “Claire isn’t just beautiful, she’s her own person. She doesn’t back down when it comes to her beliefs.”
“But what if a person’s beliefs are very different from your own? Will a relationship still work?”
“I hoped so. I tried my best to adopt Claire’s view of the world.”
“But why would you do that? What’s wrong with how you see things?”
“Oh, please, you know my track record. I’m self-centered and small minded.”
“No, you’re wrong,” Rolphe said in a loud, insistent voice. He stood up and walked over to where Arel sat, glaring down at him. “When I lusted after William’s blood, you nearly killed yourself trying to stop me. But you also had mercy on me after my heart attack. So please, once and for all, stop putting yourself down.”
Arel shrank back. Rolphe’s energy suddenly went from soft and submissive to fervent and determined. Fortunately, Arel could tell Rolphe’s passion was centered around a concern for Arel’s well-being. “Fine, I have my moments, but when it comes to a relationship, maybe I’m not cut out for one.”
Rolphe scratched his head and finally sighed. “I’m sorry, but perhaps you’re not.”
“So you see me as hopeless?”
“My opinion is of no consequence, but like I just told you, I think the key to your feelings is in the past.”
Arel searched his memories and thought about Justina and how her death nearly destroyed him. “You’re referring to the woman I first loved so long ago.”
Rolphe’s green eyes became dark and hard. “Oh no, you’ll have to look deeper and much further into the past than that.”
“Just tell me what you see,” Arel insisted. “Whether or not I pursue a relationship in the future, I have to know what’s standing in my way.”
Rolphe hesitated again, but finally nodded. “If you think it’s best then—”
Arel stood up. “Yes! Show me what I’m missing!”
Arel’s demand filled the space and seemed to affect Rolphe deeply. The giant of a man straightened his shoulders, drawing himself up to his full height. When he looked at Arel, his eyes became dark, black orbs. Once they locked onto Arel, they bore into him, going deeper and deeper. That’s when Arel realized that Rolphe had found a weakness in his defenses. Rolphe was using that defect to incapacitate him in some way. Arel tried to object, but his voice was frozen.
Arel had to break their bond. He told himself that he was in his astral body and could easily escape, but his reasoning had no effect. Whatever it was that held him in place only tightened its grip.
* * * * *
Rolphe had given into Arel’s orders. He’d allowed Arel to get a glimpse of his vision. Rolphe realized his mistake almost immediately. Arel was in too volatile a mood to delve into such appalling events. If he pursued the vision, Rolphe was afraid that Arel could get lost just as William had.
Rolphe tried to correct his error by holding on to Arel’s astral body. But the harder he tried to keep Arel from witnessing something harmful, the more Arel fought him. After a short struggle, Arel’s abilities suddenly intensified in such a powerful way that Arel’s astral body was gone in a flash.
Rolphe was left standing alone in his studio. He was sick with dread and could hardly breathe. As he stumbled back to his chair by his easel, he was sure that Arel was headed towards his doom. The feeling was so overwhelming that Rolphe almost faltered too.
After his
recent bout with his negative emotions and nearly destroying himself, he knew better than give into his bleak thoughts. Instead, he began to pray. “Oh Lord of all creation, protect my friend! Help him to find his way back to his true self. Surround him with your loving presence and keep him safe.”
As Rolphe prayed, his faith was sorely tested. Were his prayers of any use when free will was involved? If a human being didn’t allow themselves to be helped, the angels had no power to intervene.
Instead of giving up, Rolphe prayed even more fervently. “Please, dearest One, rally all the forces that might be there for Arel. Please find a way where there is no way. Please bring Arel back to this world unharmed.”
* * * * *
Arel was still fighting Rolphe for control when the scene suddenly shifted. He wasn’t in Rolphe’s studio anymore. He’d escaped Rolphe’s bondage only to plunge into darkness and something that reminded him of the deep end of a pool. He fought his descent, but his flailing arms and legs were useless. When he calmed down a little, he realized he was in a dense fluid enclosure, surrounded by something soft and undulating.
It only took a moment to realize that whatever he was floating in had a caustic element that burned his skin and seared every part of his body. But he couldn’t allow himself to focus on the pain. Somehow, he had to shift his attention.
“Think! Try to remember what you saw before this started!”
Rolphe had talked about something buried deep in Arel’s past. When Arel got a brief preview of Rolphe’s vision, he’d sensed that he was seeing a very tiny version of himself. It didn’t make sense at the time, but now it did.
Before Arel was born, while he was still in his mother’s womb, he wasn’t wanted. His mother already abhorred the fact that she had given him life. Now, he was reliving that experience. He was remembering what it was like to exist in a place that seemed determined to rob him of life. He panicked. “Oh god no! Not that!”
His horror was magnified when he felt himself bombarded by waves of hate and loathing. As he was tossed about by contractions, he knew he wasn’t a fetus this time. He was revisiting his past as a miniature version of his adult self. That fact didn’t help his situation. He was even more helpless than the unborn child he’d once been. In his present body, his lungs were starving, wanting oxygen. Somehow, his astral body was as capable of being injured as his normal, physical body. He was going to drown.