by S S Bazinet
He resisted the thought as long as he could, but his need for air won out. He had the irresistible urge to breathe. As he did, fluid filled his lungs. Agonizing pain in his chest followed. In the midst of his misery, he glimpsed the face of a woman, the woman who wanted him dead. His mother’s face.
Was his mother correct? Was it a mistake to think he had a right to live? Michael was always trying to tell him that he was a part of the Divine, but being in his mother’s womb, experiencing what she felt was devastating and primal. He didn’t know how to fight her malice. It was like the fluid in his lungs. It wanted to obliterate his existence.
As he was blacking out, he heard a muffled voice. “Drop your shields, Arel! You have to drop your shields!” He tried to hold on to the voice, but everything was fading. He began to drift away, entering the unknown. Darkness beckoned as he faced his death.
* * * * *
William stepped into Arel’s foyer and barely shut the door when he heard Michael. The angel was shouting. William stiffened with alarm. Angels didn’t yell. When Michael shouted again, William ran to the stairs that led to the lower level. He went down them so fast that he nearly tripped. “Michael! Where are you?”
As he raced towards the sound of the angel’s voice, he realized what Michael was saying. He was ordering Arel to lower his shields. That could mean only one thing. Arel was in trouble, and Michael couldn’t help.
When William got to Arel’s bedroom, he came to an abrupt halt. As soon as he saw Arel stretched out on the floor and Michael kneeling over him, he was tempted to think the worst. “What happened?”
Michael looked up with troubled eyes. “I’m sorry, William, but I couldn’t get through to him in time.”
William pushed Michael out of the way and knelt down. “His lips are blue!” He grabbed for Arel’s wrist. There was no pulse. “Michael, do something! He’s dying!”
Michael shook his head. “He’s not dying. He’s dead.”
William took a moment to digest the information. “How can that be? A half hour ago he was helping Elise find her puppy. Did he have a heart attack? We have to do CPR!”
“He’s already moving towards the other side, William. If he doesn’t want to come back this time—”
“Why wouldn’t he want to come back? He’s free of Claire, and Elise is crazy about him. He has everything to live for.”
“Something happened when he visited Rolphe.”
William felt a sudden burst of outrage. “Rolphe? Again?”
Michael held up a hand. “Please don’t jump to conclusions. Arel insisted that Rolphe—”
“Conclusions? Arel went to see Rolphe, right?”
“Yes.”
“And now Arel is dead, correct?”
Michael nodded. “Yes.”
“Those are facts! But we’re wasting time. I have to go after Arel before he snaps that damn silver cord.”
Michael hesitated. “What do you mean?”
“You know exactly what I mean. Arel tossed me out of the afterlife. It’s time that I return the favor.”
“Arel had very special powers at his command.”
“Dammit, are you saying I’m not as gifted as he is? And if the answer is ‘yes,’ then you’ll have to help me. Boost my powers, Michael!”
“But—”
“I don’t want any excuses. Please, help me.”
* * * * *
William hadn’t expected Michael to be so quick to respond. He could only guess that the angel was as anxious to get Arel back as he was. William’s part was easy in one way, difficult in another. He was accustomed to directing his own actions. In this case, he had to totally surrender to Michael’s powerful energy.
Thankfully, he soon lost himself to a feeling of ease. Even his fears about Arel’s fate dissolved for a few minutes as he was transported out of his body. Once he was in his astral form, Michael’s energy enhanced William’s tracking abilities. He was able to focus on Arel’s energy trail. Wherever Arel had gone, William was determined to follow.
His journey through other dimensions ended up in a dismal park setting. The skies were stormy, the trees were barren and the flowers in the beds were all dying. He had a moment of dread when he thought he might get trapped in the bleak place.
He didn’t allow himself to dwell on his fears. He scanned for Arel, but the man was nowhere to be seen. It didn’t make sense. William felt Arel’s energy. He had to be very close. “Arel! Arel, where are you?”
“Stop shouting that horrible name!”
The reply made William swivel around. His gaze settled on a bench located a few yards away. It was occupied by someone very small. “Arel? Is that you?”
“I told you to stop saying that name!” The voice that cried out was higher-pitched, but very insistent.
William quickly approached the bench and pulled back. A little boy was sitting there. He was pale and small, with lots of dark curls and a rigid posture. When the boy glanced up, William recognized the boy’s golden eyes. “Arel, is it you?”
The young boy bulked. “I hate my name.”
William wondered if he’d traveled back in time. Then he remembered that time had no meaning in some alternate realities. He moved closer. “Why don’t you like your name? What’s wrong with it?”
The child pulled in on himself, clasping his hands tightly in his lap. “Mother said my name belongs to the devil. That’s why she gave it to me. She said I’m a curse.”
William sat down on the bench. “Your mother is wrong.”
The child flinched and returned a disapproving scowl. “How would you know? Have you met my mother?”
“No, but I’m your friend.”
“You’re not my friend. I don’t know you.”
William couldn’t believe it. Arel’s child self was just as obstinate as the adult Arel. “How old are you?”
“I’m five. In the summer, I’ll be six, old enough for my brother to take me riding.” The boy paused and let out a great sigh. “Unless father doesn’t let him. Father says I’m too excitable, and I scare the animals. But I don’t mean to.”
“I’m sure you don’t.”
The child looked up with wide, hopeful eyes. “You believe me?”
“Yes, of course I do.”
“Nobody believes me except for my brother and my angel friend. But my brother is always away at school, and I’m the only one who sees my angel. My nurse says that my angel isn’t real.”
William crossed his arms. “Your nurse is a ninny.”
The child laughed. “That’s funny, but don’t let her hear you, or she’ll use her willow switch on your legs. And that really hurts.”
“Thank you. I appreciate your concern.”
The child let out another big sigh. “I don’t like it when people get in trouble.”
William put out his hand. “Let me introduce myself. My name is William, and when you grow up, we’ll be the best of friends.”
The child took William’s hand and gave it a quick shake. Then he sat back and stared straight ahead. “That’s very nice, William, but I don’t think I’ll grow up.”
“Why wouldn’t you grow up?”
The child leaned in and lowered his voice. “Mother wants me dead. She’s already tried to kill me once.”
“She what? She tried to kill you? When?”
The boy looked away and began to rub the arm of the bench.
“Arel, please, when did she try to kill you?”
“When . . . when I was in her . . . stomach. But I didn’t die, and she was very angry about that.”
“I’m sorry. That was a terrible thing to do.”
“Mother hates me, but I wish she wouldn’t.” The child looked away and rubbed the bench again. “My mother is beautiful. Father seems very proud of her and buys her pretty necklaces. But I don’t think she’ll ever like me. That’s why I have to go away.”
“Where are you going?”
“I heard mother praying. When I walked past her bedroo
m, her voice was very loud. She told God she was sorry, but she hoped I’d get sick and die. Then the house wouldn’t be cursed anymore.”
“Don’t think about such things.”
“My angel says that too. I wish he was real. Then I’d have a friend.”
“Arel, listen to me. I’ve met angels, too. They are real, and you have to listen to the one that visits you.”
The little boy’s eyes widened in surprise. “You’ve met angels?”
“Yes, but it’s very important that you forget all this silliness about curses. You’re a very fine boy, and you’re going to grow up to be a very fine man. Can you remember that?”
“I suppose.”
“I want you to promise me that you’ll remember our talk, and that I care about you.”
“Thank you. My brother cares about me too. I want to grow up. I really do, then I can be like him.”
“Promise me, Arel, promise me that you won’t die, that you’ll find a way to grow up no matter what your mother thinks.”
“I could try.”
“No, that’s not good enough. You have to promise.”
The child’s brows narrowed in contemplation. After several moments, he finally responded. “Very well, I promise.”
William let out a breath that he’d been holding. “Good, I’m glad that’s settled.”
The child smiled up at him. “Thank you, sir.”
As William smiled back, he noticed that the chill in the air was gone. He glanced around and discovered that the park had changed drastically. The trees were leafed out in rich, vibrant, green foliage. Roses of every color were blooming along the garden path, and birdsong filled the air.
When he turned back to the child, the boy was gone. After a moment of concern, William contented himself with the promise he’d coaxed out of the little boy. Hopefully, that promise would have an effect on the boy’s future life. William was still giving the concept some thought when he heard someone behind him. He looked around and saw the adult Arel standing a few feet away. The man was smiling. “Arel, it’s great to see you!”
“William, are you going to do what you came here for?” Arel asked.
William leapt out of his seat. “I was looking for you, but the most amazing thing happened. I talked to your child self!”
“Yes, that’s fine, but you came here to kick me out of this place. If you do, then you can be pleased with yourself and even the score.”
William scowled. He’d come on a mission of mercy, and Arel seemed to be taking the whole matter of his death too casually. “I wanted to keep you from crossing over because I care about you.”
Arel stepped closer and put an arm around William’s shoulder. “I know. You’re being that best friend that you promised you’d be. But now it’s time for us to go back.”
“Good idea—” William didn’t get to finish his sentence. He was still commenting when Arel gave him a hard shove forward. His thrashing arms did nothing to stop him from falling. The descent was so swift and disorientating that he shut his eyes. Everything was spinning. He stopped fighting the sensation when he heard Arel’s laughter.
“Relax, Will, I’ve got this,” Arel chuckled.
William wanted to object to Arel’s cavalier attitude, but he was overwhelmed by the feeling that he wasn’t just falling, he was falling asleep. He knew that Arel had something to do with his shifting mindset. It didn’t matter. In the next instant, he drifted off into a deep slumber.
* * * * *
Michael was positioned close to Arel, watching Arel’s chest rise and fall. When Carey joined them, Michael smiled. “William was determined to bring Arel back, and he succeeded.”
Carey knelt down next to William. “From what I can tell, William is dozing peacefully.”
“I called to him a couple of times, but he seems to be in a very deep state of sleep.”
“How about Arel?”
Before Michael answered, Arel let out a soft moan and opened his eyes. After blinking a couple of times, he reached up and touched Michael’s arm. “Michael, is it you? Am I back?”
Michael nodded. “Yes, you’re back.”
“William? What about William?”
“He’s back too.”
Arel tightened his grip on Michael’s arm. “Help me up, please.”
Michael hesitated. “Maybe you should take a moment to—”
Arel heaved himself into a sitting position and rubbed his eyes. “I’m fine.”
“Arel, you might want to take it easy,” Michael cautioned. “Your body has been through—”
“Michael, my body has your blood, remember?” Arel looked around and saw Carey helping William to stand up. “What happened to William? I thought you said that he was okay. Why does he look like he’s in a stupor?”
Michael took Arel’s arm and got him to his feet too. “I think you had something to do with his condition.”
Arel paused and smiled. “Oh yes, you’re right. He looked so panicked coming back into his body. I had to do something to help him relax. He’s not as tough as I am.”
Michael laughed. “William is very strong, but he’s still recuperating from being lost in the dream state.”
“Thank goodness we’re both back to the land of the living, and we can forget about all that.”
Michael crossed his arms. “Yes, that’s true, but Arel, you just had quite the experience too. Do you want to talk about any of it?”
Arel’s eyes flared. “No, I don’t.”
Forty-Eight
WILLIAM WOKE UP appreciating the comfort of the bed where he lay. He felt better physically. He wasn’t so tired. He felt so contented that he didn’t want to open his eyes. He was tempted to remain where he was and simply appreciate the moment. It was only a flashback of almost losing Arel that made him panic. Was Arel safely back on the earth plane?
It took some effort, but William forced his drowsy eyes to open. When he did, he saw Annabel. She was standing by the bed. “Where am I? Where’s Arel?”
“My goodness, you’ve been asleep for hours, William,” Annabel said with a smile. “You must have needed a good nap.”
William quickly sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Yes, I guess so, but about Arel, is he okay?”
“He’s in the living room. He’s reading.”
William stared back, trying to get his bearings. Arel had just returned from the dead. How could he be in the living room reading? “Are you kidding?”
“Arel was very sweet when I got here. He asked about how I was feeling, then he explained that you were worn out and suggested that I should let you sleep.” Annabel’s smile turned playful. “I couldn’t help myself. I had to check on you. I’m so happy that you came to Chicago.”
William let himself fall back against his pillows. He studied Annabel and sighed. “You look like you’re feeling better.”
“I am. In fact, according to Elise, I’m over the worst of my cold.”
William reached out for her hand. “I missed you.”
Annabel’s face brightened even more. “I missed you, too, but at least Elise was there.”
“I met Elise and talked to her. She seems very nice.”
“She’s been more than nice since I got sick. I’m afraid I was rather difficult, but she never let it faze her.”
“It’s too bad that her relationship with Arel didn’t work out. He could use a person who doesn’t get fazed.”
“Yes, that’s true,” Annabel laughed. “Anyway, I better get back to Elise’s and get my things together. Arel said we can use this bedroom. He’s sleeping downstairs while we’re here.”
“Do you need me to come too?”
“No, rest for a bit. I’m sure that Elise will want to give me a hand.”
William pulled her close and kissed her lips before he let her go. “See you soon.”
After Annabel was gone, William thought about the past couple of months. It hadn’t been an easy time for either of them. Happily, something had recently chang
ed. When he’d looked into Annabel’s beautiful, emerald eyes, he knew that the love that had brought them together was still there. He began to smile as he let himself imagine ways to rekindle their mutual passion.
Unfortunately, his reveries were interrupted when he thought about Arel again. William had been relieved with the way things turned out when they were on the other side. After his conversation with the younger version of Arel, the adult Arel wasn’t just cheerful. He acted as if he was ready to start over and enjoy life.
But William knew from experience that the heavenly version of Arel and the earth-bound Arel could be very different. That being the case, Arel might not take the time to integrate the knowledge he’d gleaned. Instead, his old habit of avoiding his emotions might be allowed to have free rein. William felt exhausted again just thinking about that scenario.
* * * * *
After seeing Annabel to the door, Arel walked back into the living room and sat down on the sofa. He glanced at Michael. “She seems happy.”
Michael continued to stare out the front window. “Yes, she does.”
Arel grabbed his book and was about to go back to reading, but he could feel Michael’s energy. The angel generated a feeling that was normally even and serene, but that wasn’t the case now. “Michael, talk to me. What’s going through that angelic mind of yours?”
Michael hesitated. When he finally stared back at Arel, his clear, blue eyes were laced with an uneasy glimmer. “Another close call, my friend, that’s what’s going on.”
Arel threw his book aside and sucked in some air. He didn’t want to think about “close calls” or all the unsettled feelings in his gut. He wanted to forget everything for a while. He wanted life to feel normal for a change. “Michael, look at me. I’m fine. There was a problem during my astral trip, but—”