30
Joanna
I wanted to go over to the house and try to talk reason into Leo, to make him understand that I needed the children and they needed me. But Janice promised me she’d look into some other options and she convinced me that by going over to the house I’d be jeopardizing my chances of ever seeing the children again. And I’m sure that that’s exactly what Piper would want me to do. I debated going to Leo with what I’d found out about Piper from Ava, but I worried Piper would just come up with a good story. After all, if the authorities hadn’t found enough evidence to charge her with anything, it was unlikely that someone as completely under her spell as Leo would believe it.
Taking a sip of coffee, I heard my mother’s footsteps on the stairs and looked at my watch. Ten thirty. She had never been an early riser. I’d always gotten myself off to school, making my own breakfast and packing a lunch before catching the bus. Sometimes she was awake when I got home, but often she’d be napping because of her chronic fatigue. My father and I used to cook in the evenings when he wasn’t traveling, and I loved those times with him. He loved seafood and taught me how to butterfly shrimp, make a perfect pot of clam chowder, and fillet a fish. Sometimes, we’d make the fluffiest pancakes on Sunday mornings while Mom stayed in her room sleeping. But those times with him were too few and far between.
“Good morning. How did you sleep?” I asked as she came into the room wrapped in a brown terry-cloth robe. Her leg was healed, but she still favored the other one.
“Terribly, as usual,” she replied. She plopped down opposite me on a leather chair whose stuffing was peeking through its cracks. “I know the doctor said I’m all better, but it still hurts. Stupid doctors. What do they know?”
“I’m sorry. Do you want to take some aspirin? That might help.”
She grunted. “Hmph. Nothing helps.”
“Can I get you some coffee?”
“Not yet. I just need to sit for a little.” She leaned against the back of the chair and eyed me. “So . . . what are your big plans for the day?”
“No plans. I’ve been feeling so sad this morning. I dreamed about Stelli and Evie last night. I miss them so much it hurts. I miss Leo, too, even though I know I shouldn’t.”
“I’m sorry that he’s keeping you from the kids. It’s heartless. But Leo only cares about what he wants. He’s selfish, just like all men. Just like your father.”
“Leo is not like him.”
“He doesn’t care about you. You need to face it, honey. He left you. Just like your father left us.” She rose heavily from the chair, shaking her head, and left me to sit and brood. Her words made me think back to my high school graduation day, when Mom and Dad were both happy, and even seemed to be getting along for a change. Right before we left the house for the ceremony, my father stopped by my room, where I was putting the finishing touches on my hair.
“Jo, let me look at you.”
I turned to him and smiled, my lips bright with the new pink gloss I’d bought the day before.
“You’re so grown up. My baby’s all grown up.” He sat down on my bed, looking around the room. “I still remember the day you decided you wanted red walls. Remember?”
I looked at him in the mirror and laughed. “Yeah. Mom had a fit, saying it looked like a bordello.”
He shook his head. “I thought you’d get tired of it. But I have to admit, it works.”
“Now the room will be mostly empty, except when I’m home from college on breaks,” I said, walking over to him and taking his hands in mine. “And you’ll come see me at BU, right?”
He gave me a sad look. “Let’s not think of being apart. Today is a celebration.” Reaching inside his suit pocket, he pulled out a slip of paper and handed it to me. “Here. Don’t tell your mother.”
It was a check, folded in half. I opened it and gasped. Ten thousand dollars! “Dad! What is this for?”
“A graduation present. I want you to take it and open an account in your name only. It’s for a rainy day.”
I was flabbergasted. I hugged him, then I took the check and hid it in my dresser drawer.
The rest of the day went by in a blur. My parents smiling and waving from the stands. A celebratory dinner with them before I joined the rest of my friends for an evening of partying, as we stopped by the homes of four different friends.
The next morning, a Sunday, I awoke to my mother’s screams. I ran into the kitchen, where she was sitting at the table, a piece of paper in one trembling hand.
“Mom! What’s wrong?”
“He’s gone,” she said, not looking at me but staring straight ahead. “Gone for good.” Her fingers opened, and the paper dropped to the floor. I grabbed it and began to read.
Ida,
By the time you read this I will be long gone. Things have been over between the two of us for a long time now, but I made you a promise all those years ago, and I’ve kept up my end of the bargain. Joanna is an adult now, and just as it’s time for her to start her own life, it’s time for me to take mine back. You don’t have to worry about money—I paid off the house, and I’ll continue to support you. But in return, I want an easy divorce. My lawyer will be in touch. You won’t see me anymore, and you know why. Tell Joanna that I love her and that I’ll get in touch with her when the time is right. I know you’ll say I’m a coward for not explaining things to her myself, but I didn’t want to ruin her graduation. Maybe I am a coward, but I just couldn’t do it. I hope she’ll understand one day. Try and be good to her.
Bill
I started to shake, and the words wouldn’t come. Sinking down into the kitchen chair, I placed the letter on the table. “What is he talking about?”
She turned to look at me, and the loathing in her eyes was so intense I recoiled. “He’s gone to live with her full-time now. Her and her child. Got himself a new family.”
“Mom. You’re not making any sense. Live with who?”
She got up then, started making coffee, putting dishes in the dishwasher. Turning to me, she said, “Eggs?” Her voice shook, and with one hand she wiped from her cheeks the tears that she’d been trying to hide. I stood up and went to her, putting my arm around her frail shoulder. She started to cry then, violent racking sobs that made her body shake. I’d never seen her like that before. I held her while she cried, and then, as abruptly as it had started, it stopped.
“Sit. I’ll make you breakfast.”
I wasn’t hungry, of course, but I sat and waited, reading through the note again. He was making it sound like I would never see him again. I knew that he and my mother hadn’t been happy together, but how could he leave without telling me or saying goodbye? He was my father, and I loved him. I assumed he’d always be there, and the thought that he was gone forever—that now it would be just my mother and me—devastated me.
“He admitted that he’s had a mistress for years. He waited until you were grown up to leave. I guess I have to depend on you to take care of me now,” she said.
“But I’m moving to Boston in the fall.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think so. Your worthless father said he can’t pay the tuition. Maybe you can take classes at a community college.”
I ran from the room, tears blinding my eyes, and up to my bedroom. Shutting and locking the door, I grabbed the phone from my nightstand and dialed my father on his cell phone. She had to be lying. He knew how much going to BU meant to me. My heart raced as the phone rang, then almost stopped when the recording came through. I’m sorry, but the number you are trying to reach is no longer in service.
I didn’t talk to my father again for years. I found out later that he married the woman he’d been living with part-time since I was eight. Mom’s chronic fatigue had gotten worse and worse right after he left, and she became too dizzy to drive. So I’d used the money he’d given me to enroll in the local community college, stayed in my room with the red walls, and took care of my mother.
I didn’t want to thi
nk about my father anymore. He had made the choice to leave me, so different from the way I’d been torn from Stelli and Evie. Every time I thought about how much I missed them, I felt a knife in my heart. I couldn’t bear it if they believed I’d abandoned them. They needed to know I’d fought for them, that it was Piper’s fault we were separated. I sat and thought and decided I would write them a letter.
My dear precious Evie and Stelli,
I miss you both more than you know. I think about you every minute of every day, and I want you to know that I am always watching you, even if you don’t see me. I watch over you to be sure you are safe, and I want you to know that I will never let anything bad happen to you. Just as your guardian angel protects you, so do I. Never forget that. When I close my eyes, I pretend that we are holding hands and talking to each other. You can do that, too, when you close your eyes. Picture me standing next to you, holding your hand, whispering in your ear, giving you a kiss on the cheek.
I want you to think about all the fun times we had together at the beach, at the house in Maine, at Christmastime. You know where all the photograph albums are. Take them down from the shelf and look at the pictures of us together and remember how happy we were. Look at all the books we used to read together and remember our bedtime hugs and kisses. I promise that we will be happy that way again one day, and I hope that it will be soon. No matter what anyone tells you, I am always with you, and I will always love you. Forever and ever.
xoxoxoxoxoxo
By the time I finished the letter, I was crying uncontrollably, and my mother came into the room.
“What’s wrong?” She moved closer to me. “Why are you crying?”
I wiped the tears from my face, holding the letter and looking up at her standing over me. I needed her to tell me it would all be okay.
“What is this?” she asked, taking the piece of paper from my hands. She scanned the page and then dropped it back into my lap. “Get it through your head, Joanna. They’re all moving on: Leo, Stelli, Evie. Like he did.” Her voice rose hysterically as she spoke. “What’s a letter going to do? Nothing. You don’t think I begged your father to come back? That I didn’t try everything I could think of? What did it get me? Nothing. A big fat zero.” Her face was pinched with resentment.
Full circle, I thought. I’d come full circle, living again with a mother who was too preoccupied with herself to think of anything or anyone else. All I could do was pray that Leo would come to his senses and return to me. And if I had to do a few things to help that along, so be it.
31
Piper
When Piper had gone upstairs to wake Evie for Leo’s firm’s annual father-daughter lunch and law event at Leo’s office, the child was already awake and in her favorite blue dress and patent leather shoes. She’d hardly been able to talk about anything else at the dinner table the night before, and it was apparent that her excitement hadn’t dimmed.
“Can you put my hair in a French braid?” Evie asked.
“Sure,” Piper said. “Grab your brush.”
Evie stood in front of the sink facing the mirror, and Piper stood behind her, braiding the girl’s long, thick hair. She’d gotten good at it after watching Mia French-braid her own hair every morning. As Piper’s fingers worked, she thought about the young girl who had been her stepdaughter for four years. Mia had been eleven when Matthew and Piper married, and was very unhappy that her father was remarrying. She’d made it clear to Piper that she blamed her for breaking up her parents, though of course that wasn’t the full story. Things may have settled down over time if it hadn’t been for Ava, who would bring Mia over hours late, intentionally spoiling any plans Piper and Matthew had made. One weekend when they were having a party to introduce Piper to Matthew’s friends, Ava had shown up, ostensibly to drop off a book Mia had forgotten, and then ended up staying. She knew all the guests, of course, and she completely stole the show, acting as if she still lived there, playing the hostess. Piper had been mortified, and she pulled Matthew aside to tell him to do something. But he said he couldn’t humiliate Ava in front of their daughter, so he did nothing. Piper often wondered if she would have put up with it if she hadn’t been so taken with Matthew. But that was all in the past now. She couldn’t second-guess herself or dwell on it.
“There,” she said, finishing the braid and tapping Evie gently on the shoulder. “All done.”
Evie turned her head both ways, looking at Piper’s handiwork in the mirror. “Thank you, Piper. It looks pretty.”
“You’re welcome. Why don’t you go downstairs? Your father is waiting for you at breakfast.”
Piper watched the girl skip away and headed down the hall to Stelli’s room. It was empty, so she went downstairs to find him already dressed for school and knocking at the door to Rebecca’s suite off the kitchen area. The door opened, and Rebecca emerged holding a plastic Spider-Man action figure.
“Here you go, sweetie. I glued it back together.”
He took her hand, and they walked toward Piper.
“Good morning, Stelli. Glad to see you’re all dressed and ready,” Piper said.
“Of course,” Rebecca said stiffly. “Why wouldn’t he be?”
The nanny was still acting prickly. Piper inhaled, trying to keep herself from being short with her. She had to remember to keep her eyes on her own side of the street and not let someone else’s bad mood or bad manners affect her or make her say something she’d regret later. The three of them moved in silence into the kitchen, where Leo was pouring milk into Evie’s cereal bowl. So much for a healthy breakfast, Piper thought.
Leo looked up and smiled at them. “Good morning, Stel. How’s my boy?”
Stelli pouted and took a seat next to Evie. “How come Evie gets to go to work with you and I don’t?”
“It’s a father-daughter event, pal,” Leo said.
“Not fair!” Stelli put his elbow on the table and rested his cheek against his hand.
Piper had a thought. “Would you like to come to the center with me?”
Stelli didn’t look at her. “No thanks,” he mumbled. “I want to go with Dad.”
Leo patted his shoulder. “I’ll bring you to the office another day. Now eat your breakfast, or you’ll be late for school.” Leo turned to Evie. “Are you finished? It’s almost time for us to go.” He rose from his chair and put a hand on Piper’s arm. “Would you help me with something?”
Piper frowned and followed him into the foyer. “Is something wrong?” she asked in a low voice.
“No. I was just thinking we could all meet for dinner. Stelli’s feeling left out, and I thought maybe you could pick him up from school and take him back to Phoenix with you. That way they’ll both have had a ‘work’ day. Then you can meet Evie and me for dinner at Fat Cat Pie Company. A special treat. What do you think?”
“Sure. But I don’t know whether Stelli will really want to, since I just asked him and he wasn’t interested in coming with me.”
“That’s just because he was disappointed that he can’t come with me. I think after he’s had some time to cool off, it will be good.”
“Okay. I’ll let Rebecca know that I’ll be picking him up. What time shall we meet?”
“Early. Say five thirty?”
She nodded, and Leo leaned in to kiss her just as Evie came into the hall. “I’m ready, Daddy.”
He grabbed his briefcase with one hand and Evie’s hand with the other. “Let’s go, then. We’re going to have a great day.”
Piper went back to the kitchen to find Stelli looking even more miserable than before.
“I have a great idea.” Piper tried to put some excitement in her voice. “How about if I pick you up from school and you can come to work with me for a few hours? You can help me, and then we’ll go meet your daddy and Evie for some pizza at Fat Cat’s. We can even get some ice cream afterward. What do you think?”
He looked at her with big, sad eyes and shrugged. “I guess.”
It wasn
’t a very enthusiastic response, but at least he hadn’t thrown food at her or crashed a toy car into her leg. She kept telling herself that eventually she would win him over, but sometimes it seemed futile—after all, it had never happened with Mia.
She didn’t need to pick Stelli up until three, so she went home around noon to meet with the designer she’d hired to redo their bedroom. This time she had cleared it with Leo, who had agreed that it was unreasonable to expect her to sleep in a room his former wife had decorated. When they finished, she saw that Rebecca had brought in the mail and left it on the counter. Things had remained strained between them since their clash, until Rebecca had apologized and Piper had told her it was water under the bridge. Truthfully, though, Rebecca was still on probation in her mind, but for Leo’s sake she was willing to try to make things work. Glancing through the mail, she froze when she saw an envelope for Stelli and Evie written in a sprawling handwriting and with no return address. She grabbed it and opened it, her hands shaking. Sinking down on a chair, she read it and felt her heartbeat increase. She folded the letter and put it in her purse. The children were finally coming to accept that Joanna was gone, and Piper intended for it to stay that way. She grabbed her bag and left to pick Stelli up from school.
The line of cars wound around the parking lot, and Piper checked her email while waiting for school dismissal. Soon, the first graders would be marched outside and escorted to their waiting parents or caregivers. She recognized some of the mothers from the back-to-school night she’d attended. They’d been friendly enough, but distant. No one had made an effort to engage her in conversation or get to know her. It had been awkward for her, although she had put on a good show of looking relaxed and as if she belonged. She’d been grateful that at least these mothers were not hostile, like the mothers at the school Mia had attended. There, she had truly felt like an outsider, and she’d known it was a result of Ava’s constantly bad-mouthing her to the other moms. Evidently that wasn’t happening here.
The Wife Stalker Page 14