She caught sight of Stelli and inched the car up slowly as the line moved forward. He ran to the car, jumped into the back, and buckled his seat belt.
Piper turned to look at him before driving off. “Hi, Stelli. Did you have a good day?”
“It was okay.” He looked out the window and remained silent all the way to the center.
Piper had cleared her afternoon and had spent part of the morning running around to toy stores for something interesting that would keep him busy, finally opting for a set of sound-activated light blocks. To her utter surprise, she’d hit the jackpot. Stelli loved them and played with them on the floor of her office all afternoon. When it came time to leave for dinner, Piper sensed a definite thaw in him.
“What do you say we clean up the blocks and put them in this special box? I’ll keep them in a secret place so no one else will play with them. They’ll be only for you whenever you come to the center with me.”
His eyes lit up. “You promise you won’t let anyone else play with them? Not even Evie?”
Piper made an X on her chest and held her hand up. “Cross my heart.” She was encouraged by his change toward her. She wanted Stelli to accept her. More than that—to like her. If his antagonism continued, it would only hurt her relationship with Leo.
Leo and Evie were already seated at the restaurant when Piper and Stelli arrived. It was noisy, and the smell of dough baking in the brick ovens permeated the crowded room.
“Have you been here long?” Piper asked, sliding into the booth after Stelli and facing Evie and Leo.
“Just ten minutes or so. I ordered you a water with lemon.” He indicated the glass in front of her. “And a Coke for you, buddy,” he said, smiling at Stelli. “Now what does everyone want? I’m thinking maybe a big, big cheese pizza with lots of pepperoni. What do you say?” He looked back and forth from one kid to the other.
“Yeah, a really big one,” Stelli said.
“Okay with you, Evie?” Leo asked.
“Yup.”
“Are we all set, then?”
Piper picked up the menu and scanned it, hoping there might be something healthier on offer. Lots of pizza combinations, some pasta dishes, and a few salad options. She put the menu down and looked up at Leo. “I’ll have a garden salad with oil and vinegar.”
“Borrrring,” Stelli said, rolling his eyes.
Leo just looked at her and shrugged his shoulders.
“Don’t you like pizza?” Evie asked her.
“Well, it’s not my favorite. I really love salad, though.”
“Mommy always got pizza when we came here. She loved it here, didn’t she, Daddy?” Stelli said.
It was as if her happy balloon had been pricked and all the air seeped out. Piper felt her face flush, and when she looked at Leo, his eyes were hard to read.
“Yeah, buddy. She liked it here a lot,” he said.
The mention of their mother always caught Piper off guard. It was like walking through an empty field that seemed to have been cleared of mines, and then, bam, having one blow up in her face. She’d believed her time with Stelli this afternoon had brought them a bit closer, but now in a flash she was the interloper again. The three of them all seemed to fit together perfectly. Sitting here, feeling like she was not enough, made her think of all the times she’d felt this way as a child. She’d never felt like she formed a close bond with her own parents.
Her parents were good on paper: accomplished and hardworking. Her father, a mechanical engineer, taught at the Naval Academy, and her microbiologist mother worked in a private research lab. As the only child, she’d felt the full force of the high standards they set for her. It was expected that she be a straight-A student. There was no acceptable excuse for even a B-plus. Their house was quiet, dull, and tedious, a home where spontaneity and lightheartedness were frowned upon. Her mother had checked her homework every night, all the way through the twelfth grade, as if she were still a child. Tests and report cards were scrutinized. Her every movement, her every act, had been inspected by them.
They were not a family that hugged or kissed or said I love you. She remembered being so surprised the first time she’d gone to her friend Julia’s house, which was filled with kids and laughter. Julia’s mother had been warm and welcoming, pulling her into a hug. It was a complete revelation to her that families lived that way, enjoying each other and having fun together. She had only short glimpses of this, however, because her own parents had been firm about time spent away from home. She had to come straight home from school and get right to work on homework, which usually lasted three or four hours. Going out on school nights was strictly forbidden. Saturday was the only day she was allowed to see friends, and that was the day she tried to spend as much time as possible at Julia’s.
Of course, she’d left as soon as she graduated from high school, moving away from Annapolis for good. Now, after her years studying psychology at University of California and the work she’d done in the field of recovery, she realized what a cold and barren upbringing she’d had. It was probably part of the reason she’d never really wanted children of her own.
How ironic that, once again, she had married a man with kids.
32
Joanna
“Here,” I said, handing the two photographs to Celeste. “Pictures of Evie and Stelli from last Christmas.” At our last session Celeste had asked me to choose a memory for today and to email it to her beforehand. I chose last Christmas, when we were still happy and together. One picture showed Evie in her bright red Christmas pajamas, a llama bedecked with a tree-light necklace smiling on her PJ top. She was laughing, her hair still messy with sleep, while peeking out from inside her princess tent.
Celeste studied both of the photographs for a minute, and then looked up at me. “Your recounting of this memory was very evocative, Joanna. Haunting almost. I read it several times. How did it feel to put it into words?”
I thought about it for a moment before answering. “It was difficult to write,” I admitted. “The day itself was so wonderful. We put the children to bed on Christmas Eve and stayed up late putting Stelli’s new bicycle together and arranging all the furniture in Evie’s dollhouse. I didn’t get to bed until after one. Of course, the children were up early to see what Santa brought them.” I smiled as I pictured the two of them rushing to the mantel and grabbing their stockings. “Evie exclaimed over her heart locket and silver bracelet, and Stelli was already setting up his army men. There was wrapping paper everywhere, and it was all a big glorious messy ball of happiness.”
Celeste nodded. “And the rest of the day?”
“We let them play with all their toys, of course, and Leo and I just sat watching them, enjoying all the fun they were having. I remember bringing French toast with syrup and fresh strawberries into the den and letting everyone eat breakfast there for once so that they wouldn’t have to leave their presents. The four of us sat on the floor in front of the fireplace. Evie kept her new stuffed tiger on her lap while we ate.”
“Can we talk about Stelli and what you wrote about reading to him?”
My stomach twisted at the thought. “They were both exhausted by bedtime, and so was I. Stelli asked me to read one of his new books to him—The One and Only Ivan. He insisted I read it a second time, which I did, but when he asked for a third time, I snapped at him and said I was too tired. I gave him a peck on the cheek, turned out the light, and left the room.” I felt tears fill my eyes. “I’m so sorry I was impatient with him. I would give anything to read it to him again now, as many times as he wanted.”
“You said Leo’s family came over later in the day, but you didn’t mention your own mother. Was she there?”
I shook my head. “No. I invited her, but she backed out. I wasn’t surprised, really. I didn’t think she would come.”
“Why is that?”
“Mom never liked Christmas much. I guess I can understand in a way.” I sat there as silence filled the space between us.<
br />
Celeste finally spoke. “Tell me about that.”
“The Christmases of my childhood were very different. You wouldn’t understand. You probably had a dad who was around and who cared about you. I never did.”
Celeste tilted her head at me. “We’re talking about you. What I had or didn’t have has no bearing on my understanding of your hurt or your painful memories. You realize that, don’t you?”
I wasn’t sure about that, but I continued anyway. “I would characterize my father as a sort of ghost spirit who came and went like the wind. When he was with us, it was so obvious that he wanted to be anywhere else. Even on holidays, he spent just a few hours with us and then left, supposedly for business, but like I told you before, it all turned out to be a lie. Always claiming he was seeing clients, but half the time, his trips were to see his girlfriend. Another woman that he cared about more than us. He was just putting in his time, I guess, waiting for me to finish high school so he could appease his conscience.”
“And you told me that your mother never knew.”
“Yes. She knew he’d been unfaithful, but not that he was with one particular woman all that time. They didn’t have a good marriage. When he was home, she was constantly on his case, complaining that he was gone too much, that she was sick and needed him. But even when he tried to do things for her, she was never happy. But still, what he did . . .”
“If I remember correctly, you told me he was lying to them as well as to you?”
“Yeah. Great guy, huh? Who knows what he was telling his girlfriend until he could leave us for good, since she never knew he was married or had a kid.”
“He’s never told his new wife the truth?”
“He still pays my mother alimony, so she keeps her mouth shut. She can’t work, so she needs his money to live on. Her disability isn’t enough.”
“Do you and your mother ever talk about what happened and how it made you feel?”
“My mother only talks about how ill-treated she was. It’s always only about her. I have to admit that I was glad when she didn’t show up last Christmas. Leo’s family is so loving and full of fun. My mother would have changed the whole dynamic of the day, turning it into a gloom-fest.” I shifted in my chair. “I don’t want to talk about my parents anymore. I want to tell you what I found out in San Diego.”
“Okay.”
“When I met the ex-wife of Piper’s dead husband, she had a lot to say about Piper. Or Pamela, depending on who you ask.” I gave her a long look so that my words could fully register.
“Go on.”
I recounted to Celeste everything Ava had told me. “Ava Dunn is convinced that Piper deliberately killed Mia. It would certainly explain why she changed her name and why she seems to be in hiding here.”
Celeste frowned. “Joanna, sometimes an accident is just an accident. It’s not uncommon for a grieving mother to need to place blame somewhere. If Piper were a murderer, she would be in jail.”
“Why are you defending her?” I asked. “She’s dangerous. She has a sailboat here, too. What if the same thing happens to Evie and Stelli as happened to Mia?”
“First of all, you are jumping to conclusions. You’ve told me yourself Leo has a boat and that Evie and Stelli have been taught water safety and wear life jackets. I know it’s concerning, but it’s out of your control for the time being. And you’re working to get joint custody, so hopefully your fears will be alleviated soon.”
“As long as Piper is around my children, my fear is going nowhere.” I leveled a look of determination at her, and I could tell she was becoming exasperated with me. “I know that might sound irrational to you—I know that—but I just . . . I can’t leave the children with that woman when I know in my bones something is going to happen. Maybe I need to start following her when she’s out with the kids.”
“You can’t do that, Joanna. What if someone sees you? You could jeopardize your chances for custody.”
“I’d stay far enough back. I wouldn’t be breaking any laws. But I could take pictures. Build a case against her.”
She seemed to ponder this. “I’m worried that this is turning into an obsession.”
“You cannot possibly understand what I’m going through. Maybe I should see a therapist who has children . . .”
A tight look crossed her face. “Of course, that’s your prerogative. But I hope you won’t. I think we’ve established a good rapport. It’s not necessary for me to have children in order to empathize with you. I’m on your side, remember?”
I took a sip of my water. “Let me ask you something. If you found out that your husband had a disease, would you leave him?”
She squinted at me and pursed her lips. “I don’t see the similarities between a genuine disease and your ex-husband marrying another woman.”
“His depression. That’s what’s made him vulnerable. He thought Piper was his medicine. But that medicine is killing him and killing our family. If he were suffering from a physical illness and I knew the cure, I would move heaven and earth to help him.”
I could tell by her expression that she didn’t agree, but I sensed the veil of detached professionalism descend upon her as she changed the topic. “We have only a few minutes left today. Is there anything else on your mind? How is the exercise plan going?”
Great, I wanted to say. I’m planning to never do it.
Instead, I told her what she wanted to hear. “Good. It’s helping a little.”
33
Piper
Piper sat on the metal park bench, iPad on her lap and a hot latte in her hand, glancing up now and again as Stelli and Evie ran back and forth from the swings to the sliding board. Stelli was a whirlwind, never stopping, always pushing the limits, and Evie watched over him like a little mother. Their personalities were so very different. Stelli exhausted Piper. There were times her stomach was in knots at the prospect of his return from school in the afternoon, but she had decided recently that on Thursdays she would leave the center at three in the afternoon, pick the kids up from school, and take them to the park, giving Stelli a chance to expend some of his energy and perhaps allowing the two of them to forge a bond.
Now, she watched as he scrambled quickly up the steps to the slide and whooped while whooshing down it. She shook her head and turned her attention back to “Getting Our Best,” the blog post she’d been working on. She was almost finished, just needed a powerful closing paragraph, when she heard a scream followed by crying. She looked up to see Stelli sitting at the foot of the slide, blood running down his chin, and Evie trying to comfort him. Piper jumped up, and the iPad slid to the ground as she ran to them.
“Oh my gosh, what happened?” she said, lifting his face so that she could examine the injury. A woman who seemed to be another mother was next to her now, handing her some tissues, which she gratefully accepted. As she used them to blot his face, she exposed a deep gash right under his lower lip.
Piper turned to the woman. “It looks pretty deep.”
She nodded. “Probably needs stitches. By the way, he went down the big slide. That’s for older kids. I guess you didn’t notice.”
Great. Was she supposed to be watching them every second of every day? How were kids ever supposed to self-actualize with all these helicopter moms around? Piper suppressed the panic and irritation that was rising in her and told herself to stay calm and focused. She put her arm around Stelli. “It’s going to be fine, sweetheart. We’re going to go see the doctor, and you’ll be good as new.”
He looked up at her and his chin trembled, and she could tell that he wasn’t completely convinced, but he took her hand, and with Evie on his other side, they made their way to the car. She looked at her watch. It was just past five, and the pediatrician’s office wasn’t open, so she drove straight to the urgent care in town. Fortunately, the wait was short and a friendly physician’s assistant asked some questions as she settled Stelli on the exam table and told them a doctor would be with them shortly.
Evie stood next to Stelli, holding his hand, and Piper tried to think of something to do to make the time pass while they waited.
“How about if I read you one of your books? Evie, is there anything in your backpack?”
Stelli shot her a dirty look. “My chin hurts.” Tears filled his eyes, and his lip trembled.
Piper went to put an arm around him, but he pulled away.
“It’s okay, Stelli. The doctor will make you all better. Maybe you’ll even have a cool scar, like a pirate,” Evie said.
His eyes lit up just as the door opened and the doctor walked in.
He smiled at Stelli and held out his hand. “I’m Dr. Stanley. I hear you hurt the ground with your chin. You must be pretty strong.”
Stelli gave him a watery smile.
The doctor examined the wound, then turned to Piper. “It’s not too bad. I’m going to clean it up and put some glue on it. That will be less painful than stitches, and he’ll be good as new.” He turned back to Stelli. “While you’re here, how about I take a quick look to make sure you didn’t hurt anything else?”
Stelli nodded and Piper watched as the doctor gave him a full examination. He turned to Piper. “He looks a little pale, has he been sick lately?”
Piper shrugged. “Not really. Just a cold a few weeks ago.”
The doctor’s brow furrowed. “That might explain it. As long as he’s been feeling okay.” He smiled at Piper. “Everything else looks good. Do you want to bring him back here for a follow-up or take him to his regular pediatrician? Who is that, by the way?”
“One of the doctors at Westport Pediatrics.”
He gave her a questioning look.
She quickly continued. “I’m his stepmother, and I haven’t taken him there yet, so I’m not sure which doctor. I can call them in the morning.”
“Okay, then. I’ll have the report from today’s visit sent over to their office.”
The ride home was quiet, and after explaining to a disapproving Rebecca what had happened, Piper went upstairs to change. Her phone buzzed, and she looked at the unfamiliar number.
The Wife Stalker Page 15