Shadow

by Laurann Dohner

  The males glanced at each other. Justice spoke first. “Tim shouldn’t have done that but we know who did it. It was Chad, the one who runs communications for the team. He was having money problems after a divorce and that’s how they got to him. You aren’t allowed to kill him but let’s just say I wouldn’t punish you if your fists accidentally made some contact with his body a few times. I have a mate and I wouldn’t begrudge you a little payback. Just don’t cripple him for life. He’ll spend the rest of his as a guest at Fuller. We don’t kill our enemies when we don’t have to. We’re better than them.”

  Shadow considered those words. They might make sense but he’d still sleep better at night knowing Beauty’s abuser was dead. He’d also have to settle for Justice’s offer of only hurting the team member who’d risked Beauty’s life. It didn’t mean he had to like it though.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Beauty had just stepped out of the shower when the doorbell rang. She frowned, wrapping a towel around her body, and entered the bedroom. It was just after eleven at night. Had Kit forgotten something? The woman had not only stuck around to share pizza but had been downright friendly. They’d talked for hours.

  She hurried into the living room but paused by the door. “Who is it?”

  “It’s me.”

  Surprise and excitement struck at hearing that sexy, deep voice. She twisted the locks, opening the door to face Shadow. He had changed into his work uniform since she’d last seen him and he looked a little tired around the eyes as she stared into them.

  “You’re back. How did you get inside the dorm?”

  “A group of the females were downstairs watching a movie. They opened the door.” He cleared his throat. “It’s no secret that we are seeing each other.”

  She backed up. “Come in.”

  He hesitated. “I want to spend the night,” he clarified. “Is that okay?”

  “Yes.” She was glad he hadn’t been gone for days and that she wouldn’t have to sleep without him. The experience of being in his arms was addictive and something she no longer wanted to do without. “Always.”

  He moved to the side and lifted a bag and carried it in. It was big and looked heavy. She wondered what was inside it. He dropped the thing a few feet inside the room and closed the door behind him, twisting the locks. His gaze held hers.

  “I wanted to be here sooner but I had arrangements to make.”

  “What is in the bag?”

  He shifted his stance, his expression unreadable. “My belongings.”

  “That’s bigger than the bag you took to Homeland.”

  “It contains everything I own. I packed up my quarters tonight.”

  The stabbing sensation to her heart was pure agony. She spun away to hide the tears that refused to be denied. They burned behind her closed eyelids, a few of them escaping down her cheeks. Shadow would only do that if he’d decided to return to the task force. He’d leave Homeland in the morning and she wouldn’t be able to see him except when he visited.

  Maybe he believed she could be happy with occasional nights or weekends spent together when he could return to Homeland for work breaks. She could even understand his logic. Species women wanted their space but she wanted to scream that she wasn’t like them. All the ways she’d been singled out as Gift suddenly mocked her. She’d resented the special concessions, had wanted the distinction removed, and Shadow had listened. He was willing to treat her as any other Species.

  Careful for what you wish for, an inner voice mocked.

  “Beauty?” He stood directly behind her. “What is wrong? Look at me.”

  She hesitated, trying to get her emotions under control.

  “Beauty?”

  She opened her eyes and rapidly blinked back tears, turning to face him. It was time to be totally honest. There was nothing to lose if he already planned to leave. She could just be blunt and hope he’d reconsider his current path.

  “Why are you crying? Did something happen while I was gone? Did that female upset you? I saw her come inside as I left.”

  “Kit was unusually nice today. She didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “What is it?”

  “I don’t want you to leave Homeland to return to the task force. I’ll hardly see you. I know I should be grateful for having you in my life at all after spending so much time alone but I want more than that. I appreciate you seeing me the same way you do the other women but I’m different.” Her shoulders straightened and she held his gaze. “I deserve more than a man who is barely around. I want it all, Shadow.”

  He seemed stunned.

  “You know, a real relationship. I want someone who comes home to me every day and spends their nights with me. I want to cook you dinner and snuggle on the couch while we watch shows. I’m not even sure if we’d enjoy the same ones but we’d be together. I want to get to know everything about you, even the bad stuff I might find annoying. It won’t matter because I’m willing to accept you for who you are, all of it, but I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

  His lips parted but nothing came out.

  She cleared her throat. “I want a true commitment.” It made her feel a little dizzy to admit that but it was just nerves. The worst he could do was walk out. “Not just someone in my life when they can fit me into their busy schedule. I realize it’s a lot to ask. You would have to remain here instead of enjoying the more exciting adventures you must have with the task force. It’s also more dangerous working for them. You deal with the kind of men who came after me. They are bad and dangerous. That can’t be good for you to see that every day. We’re free now and should embrace the good things life has to offer. Maybe you enjoy the work but you enjoy sex too. Your team can’t give you that but I can.” Her hands gripped her hips. “I can’t compare work stories with you since I’m not permitted to hold a job as a Gift because it would put me in contact with too many men but I could give you a good home you would enjoy living in. I will worry about you while you’re doing your job. It matters to me what happens to you and while they may be your friends on the task force, what I feel is stronger. I’m sure of that.”

  “Beauty… I—”

  His features softened. He probably felt sorry for her. She refused to give up and cut him off. He couldn’t just walk away.

  “I know we didn’t have much time together but I’m offering you all that I am. You can’t just ignore that, Shadow. You owe it to both of us to see where we lead. I think we could be happy. I know I want us to be. We’re both damaged but that makes us more suitable. There’s something special between us, something strong, and it’s not just sex.”

  “I—”

  “Don’t tell me you won’t at least consider what I’m offering. You have to stay at Homeland to get to know me better.” She took a shaky breath. “I won’t beg but I won’t be a doormat either. You can’t have it both ways. You can’t leave me here to go have a life but expect me to wait around for you as if I don’t have one.”

  He lunged and jerked her against his body. “Do you ever allow a male to speak?”

  She gripped his biceps through the material of his shirt, wishing for skin. “I don’t want you to say something I can’t stand to hear.”

  He softly growled as one of his arms released her waist and he reached for something inside his back pocket. He held up a crisp, folded sheet of paper. “Do you know what this is?”

  “No. Your orders to return to the task force?” It was her best guess.

  He shook his head and then released her completely. He lowered to his knees in front of her. He licked his lips, his features tense. “Mate papers. I had it drawn up. We just need to sign it. It’s just one paper actually but it’s a less involved process to bind us together than the ones involving humans. The outside world holds no claim on us that they might ever try to sever.”

  Her legs turned rubbery and she ended up on her knees in front of him.

  “I packed up my belongings because there wasn’t a reason to keep a r
oom at the men’s dorm. I want to be with you and you’re here.” He cleared his throat, staring deeply into her eyes. “I came to ask you to be my mate and tell you that if you agree, housing is being made available to us soon. We can have a house next to my best friend and his mate. She’s nice and I think she would be a good friend.” He took a deep breath. “I’m offering you everything too, love. Me. I don’t want adventure or to leave Homeland. You aren’t there and I just want to be with you.”

  “Yes.” She nodded frantically, blinking back tears again.

  “We are both damaged.” Shadow suddenly grinned. “I wouldn’t have it any other way if it means I get you.”

  “You’ve got me.” She held out her hand. “Let’s sign them. Is that all we need to do?”

  He grinned. “We should also have a lot of sex to celebrate afterward.”

  She managed to rise to her feet and dropped the towel. Shadow’s gaze lowered, halting on her breasts. Sexual hunger sharpened his features and the soft growl of approval from him turned her on.

  “Why wait? I want you now.” She smiled. “But there is one thing I want to do.”

  He pulled his focus away from her body. “Name it. It’s yours.”

  “Take off your uniform first.”

  He put the paper on her coffee table and bent to rip off his boots. She grinned at his haste. He nearly fell over sideways at one point but then righted, shoving his pants down. He really did want her. The clothes were gone, leaving one aroused man standing just feet away.

  She lowered to her knees again and he bent a knee to follow. “Don’t. Stay just like that.”

  He straightened and held immobile. She walked on her knees closer. “I read about this and I wanted to try it. You can stop me if you don’t like it but at least allow me to do it once.”

  Beauty reached up and wrapped her fingers around his stiff shaft. He gasped at the sudden move or perhaps the implication. She licked her lips to wet them and dropped her gaze to his sex. He was beautiful all over but his cock fascinated her.

  “Maybe I should sit.” His voice came out gruff and husky.

  She lifted her gaze, appreciating his muscular abs, wide chest, and settled on his handsome face. “Why?”

  “You have no idea what the sight of you there does to me.”

  “Tell me.”

  “I’ve never wanted a female more. I hurt from the need. It’s a physical pain.”

  “You do the same to me.”

  “You know female Species never do this, don’t you? I can’t come with your mouth around me though. I might choke you. I shoot semen hard. It would be too much.”

  “I just want to play a little. Will you allow it?”

  “You can do anything you want. I’m yours.”

  Emotion swamped her. “I love you, Shadow. I hope you’ll learn to love me back.”

  He suddenly pulled out of her grasp and reached down, gripping her under her arms. It was her turn to gasp when he lifted her, spun and stormed into her bedroom. She clung to him.

  “What are you—”

  When they landed on the bed it jolted her to silence. They were on their sides facing each other. His mouth was on hers, kissing the breath right out of her a split second later. One of them moaned—she wasn’t sure who—and it didn’t matter. His hot skin plastered against hers felt incredible.

  He broke the kiss, panting. “You love me?” His blue gaze studied hers. “You are sure?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good. You’ve made me very happy. I’ve never loved before but this has to be it. You are everything I want and need. You make me complete and having you in my arms is the most right thing in my world. Every thought involves you and how to keep you close.”

  “I was afraid it would scare you away if I admitted my feelings.”

  “The only frightening thing would be if you refused to sign the mate papers.”

  “Do you want me to do that right now? Let me go and I’ll get them.”

  “Later.” His mouth brushed hers. “There’re so many things I want to do to you. I can’t decide which should come first.”

  “Roll onto your back.” She splayed her fingers across his chest, pushing lightly. “You said I could play. That is on the top of my list.”

  He turned, lying flat. “I’ll be a good mate.”

  “I know you will and so will I. We’ll figure it out together.”

  Her hand brushed along the length of his cock, enthralled when it moved, jerking slightly. There was a lot about men she didn’t know but she’d learn. It would be fun to discover everything that turned Shadow on and have him do the same to her.

  “I don’t read much but I have watched a lot of videos.” Shadow smiled. “Ever hear of sixty-nine?”

  “The number?”

  “The position.”

  “Is that a sports thing?”

  “Um, no.” He licked his lips. “You want to play with me with your mouth and I want to play with you with mine. You put your knees right here.” He pointed to just above his shoulders on both sides. “Face toward the headboard. Do you understand?”

  Her lips parted in shock. “You want me to spread my thighs open over your face while I’m stretched down your body to your lap?”

  “Yes.” He grinned widely. “Exactly. Just release me with your mouth if I warn you to. I have a feeling I won’t last long. It’s my first time. I probably shouldn’t admit that but we’re mates. I won’t keep any secrets from you. We’re two who have become one.”

  Curiosity and excitement overruled any shyness she experienced. He was right. They were mates. He was hers and she was his. There was no need to hide anything or waste time being embarrassed. She shifted up and spread her thighs, careful to place them where he wanted. She realized how close his mouth was to her pussy.

  “I won’t smother you?” It was an honest concern to her.

  His big hands gripped her hips. “No.” His attention shifted lower. “I like this view. Scoot a little closer and spread your thighs more.”

  She bent, bracing her palms over his hips. His hands slid to her lower stomach and his thumbs spread her sex open. Hot breath fanned her intimately as she settled over his face. The first swipe of his tongue across her clit sent pleasure spreading upward.

  “I love that.”

  He growled, adding vibrations into the mix of the slow licks that made her ache. She wet her lips and lifted one hand, firmly gripping the shaft of his thick cock. He growled louder at her first touch, his tongue lapping faster. It felt so good it became difficult to concentrate on what she wanted to do to him. Shadow hit one spot over and over, pushing her to a fast climax.

  Beauty loved ice cream and one of the books she’d read about sex suggested oral sex with a man was very similar. She stuck out her tongue and ran the flat surface from just above her thumb to the tip of his cock.

  Shadow paused, snarling. She took that for a positive sign since she could relate. Her hips wiggled a little, the ache to come growing worse. He licked her again, firmly teasing the bundle of nerves with just a little more pressure.

  She opened wide—he was thick—and carefully took him inside. Her tongue licked as she fit her mouth around the crown. His body tensed under hers, his stomach muscles growing taut. She moved then, taking him a little deeper and tightened around the shaft, creating a suction as she lifted up until he almost slipped away. She lowered, the taste of his pleasure sweet as pre-cum beaded the tip of his cock.

  More moans tore from her and she realized her hips were moving. She couldn’t stop wiggling them, wanting to come so much it hurt. She moaned louder, her hand began to stroke his shaft where she couldn’t reach with the well of her mouth, and Shadow reacted by pressing his face tightly against her. Teeth lightly raked across her clit and she yanked her mouth away from his cock to cry out as the first spasm of release tore through her. Fear of biting him forced her to stop.

  Shadow moved fast enough to make her gasp when one knee bent, he planted his foot
on the mattress, and he used the leverage to roll her over. Her back hit the bed while she was still in the grips of the orgasm. His hot body no longer pressed against hers and she opened her eyes to watch him lift up and turn around.

  He came down over her fast, pinning her under him so their faces were almost touching. One of his arms braced near her ribs to hold his chest away from hers enough to allow her to breathe while his other hand reached down, gripped her just above the back of her knee, and forced it to bend next to his hip. He held it there, spreading her thighs apart enough to fit his hips between them.

  He adjusted over her, staring into her eyes, and then she cried out when he entered her body with one slow thrust after aligning his cock against the entrance of her pussy. Her clenching vaginal muscles protested a little, making it a very tight fit while he penetrated her but she was wet and ready to take him. His eyes nearly closed as he snarled. He buried his cock in her and did small, fast jerks in and out of her pussy. It drew out her climax, putting her on sensory overload enough to buck under him.

  “Beauty,” he snarled and shook violently.

  Heat shot inside her as he came. His face lowered to press against the curve of her shoulder and his teeth gripped her there, the sharp points of his fangs digging into her skin but it didn’t hurt. He groaned, still coming, and slowly grinding his hips against her.

  Her fingernails dug into his upper arms where she clutched at him just to anchor her to reality. They were both breathing hard, hearts racing as they lay there recovering. He eased the pressure of his teeth when he lifted his head.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “For what?” Her fingertips surfed his broad shoulders. “That was amazing.”

  “I took you rough.” He frowned, not happy.

  “I’m not complaining. I enjoyed that.”