When Hearts Collide

by Lorana Hoopes

  The cafeteria was sparse as Amanda entered. Only ten or twelve students dotted the tables and Caleb was not one of them. She chose some eggs and pancakes from the buffet and scanned the room. The choices were to sit alone or join someone at a table. Most students were immersed in their cell phones, but one blond girl in an oversized shirt sat alone, picking at a waffle. Amanda decided to try to be friendly.

  “Hi, can I join you?” Amanda asked, setting her tray down.

  The girl looked up, sadness emanating from her eyes. She shrugged, and then her eyes dropped back to her plate.

  “Um, I’m Amanda. First year.” Amanda hoped the girl would at least respond; she had no idea what the girl was going through, but her counseling instinct wanted to help. If only she’d had more experience. What she’d been able to do at JD’s clinic hadn’t been much, mainly filing paperwork and discussing vague scenarios with the actual counselor.

  “I’m Jordan,” came the mumbled reply, “Sophomore.”

  “Nice to meet you,” Amanda pressed, but silence met her back. Jordan continued to push her waffle bits around on her plate. Her pale and splotchy face made Amanda wonder if she’d gotten any sleep the night before. “Are you nervous?”

  The fork stopped, and Jordan looked up. Icy blue anger replaced the sadness, and Amanda shivered as the eyes bore into her own. “No, I just don’t want to be here, but I couldn’t afford to give up my scholarship.” With that she grabbed her plate, stood up, and walked away.

  With a sigh, Amanda loaded some eggs on her fork. Her first day was off to a stellar start.

  As the last class ended, Amanda gathered her books and returned them to her backpack. It was time to head back to the dorm and tackle some of the massive pile of homework she had been assigned today. Funny, she didn’t remember anyone warning her about homework on the first day or how much there would be. She was going to have her work cut out for her.

  The bright sun blinded her as she pushed open the door of the building. Squinting, she reached into the pocket of her backpack and pulled out her sunglasses. While she loved the color of her green eyes, she often wished they weren’t so sensitive to the sun, but that was an inherited trait from her father. At least she didn’t need them for vision like he did. She could still hear him complaining about how the tint of the prescription glasses never got quite dark enough for him.

  As the dorm came into view, Amanda whispered a silent prayer that “the roommate” wouldn’t be there. She knew that wasn’t very Christian of her, but the girl was such a downer, and Amanda just wanted to decompress after the first day.

  The same mousy brunette was manning the front desk as Amanda stopped to check for mail; her face was still buried in the book.

  “It must be good,” Amanda said teasing her.

  The girl glanced up, annoyance in her eyes. “Did you need something?”

  “Um, just the mail for room 216, if there is any.”

  The girl turned, scanned the rows of slots, and shook her head before sticking her nose back in the book. Amanda nodded and started up the stairs, the mantra “please be gone” repeating in her head.

  The door to the dorm room was shut, but that meant nothing. Holding her breath, Amanda turned the knob. Locked. Well, that was probably good. Fishing her key out of her pocket, Amanda unlocked the door and pushed it open. The room was dark, quiet, and blissfully empty. Sighing, she shut the door and dropped the heavy bag on the creaky bed. Then she pulled out the mountain of homework and spread it out at the desk.

  It wasn’t taxing work, really, but the quiet settled on her shoulders creating an unnerving sensation. At home, her little brother and sister would have been constantly interrupting her. As Amanda thought about them racing around the kitchen, loneliness set in.

  On the first day of school last year, she and Kate had gone out for pizza and then walked around the mall. They had met up with a few other friends and the group had spent most of the year together. Though a small group, they had been close knit, and Amanda had always been surrounded by a great group of friends. Now, she had no one really.

  Sighing, she stood up from the desk and crossed to the bed to retrieve her Bible. As she opened it, she searched for the source of comfort that usually accompanied it, but today nothing hit her. Her mind was not focused. With a sigh, Amanda returned it to the nightstand and decided to take a walk.

  Amanda grabbed her sunglasses, locked the door behind her, and trudged back down the stairs. One thing was for sure, she was going to be in great shape after this year. As she stepped into the warm sunshine, her phone buzzed in her front pocket. Kate’s number flashed across the screen, and she eagerly swiped the screen.

  “Kate, how are you?”

  “I’m good,” she laughed. “How are you?”

  “I’m okay, I guess. I miss you.” Amanda crossed the grassy lawn to a nearby tree and sat down against the trunk. The rough bark bit into her back, but she didn’t mind. Her best friend was on the phone.

  “Uh oh, what’s wrong?”

  “I’m just a little lonely is all. My roommate is a nightmare, and I tried to make a friend this morning, but I don’t think it went over well. I feel a little out of my element.” Amanda hadn’t meant to unload on Kate, but the words just fell out of her mouth.

  “I get it. I have my brother, but we don’t have any classes together. We got together for dinner last night, but he seems so much better I’m not sure I made the right decision coming here.”

  “Sounds like we both had unrealistic expectations,” Amanda sighed. “I did meet a guy though.”

  “Ooh, do tell.”

  Amanda smiled at Kate’s teasing tone and filled her in on the meeting of Caleb.

  “He sounds hot,” she sighed, “when are you going to see him again?”

  “I don’t know; we exchanged numbers, but I think I should wait for him to call, right? I don’t even know the rules of dating.” Amanda had been on a few dates in high school but none of them had panned out, and she’d been too focused on her grades to pursue any further.

  “Yes, you should wait for him to call. You don’t want to seem too eager. Oh crud, my roommate just returned and wants to get an early dinner. Can we talk again later?”

  A hint of jealousy flared in Amanda’s heart. How come Kate was given a roommate she could befriend while Amanda had the still-unnamed epitome of anger as her roommate? With a shake of her head, Amanda pushed the un-Christian thought away and hung up the phone, not sure if she felt better or worse. She pocketed the phone and pushed herself up from the grass. Might as well finish the walk.

  After the walk and a dinner by herself–Amanda didn’t feel like trying another awkward conversation–she returned to the dorm room. The roommate was sprawled on her black bedspread leafing through a magazine. She looked up long enough to roll her eyes and then returned her focus to the magazine.

  Amanda stared at the contrast in the room. Her side of the room was bright and cheery while the girl’s side was dark and monochromatic. Resolved to try to befriend the girl again anyway, she pulled back her shoulders and took a deep breath before asking, “How was your first day?”

  The girl snorted in response, and a flicker of annoyance sparked in Amanda, but she swallowed it down. God obviously had a reason for pairing them together. Had she prayed for patience lately? She couldn’t remember, but this situation would definitely be a way to practice it. “Can you at least tell me your name? I’d like to call you something other than ‘the roommate’ or dark haired girl.”

  The blue eyes rolled again. “It’s Jade, but don’t get attached. One of us will be leaving soon.”

  “Or we could become friends,” Amanda tried.

  “Doubtful,” Jade replied and jammed the headphones that had been lying around her neck into her ears.

  Amanda shook her head and grabbed her prayer journal. She had told Sandra she wanted to stay a part of the prayer team, but she hadn’t been able to get the weekly requests before leaving Mesquite. C
hecking her watch to make sure it wasn’t too late, she pulled out her phone and dialed Sandra’s number. “Hey Sandra, it’s Amanda Adams. Are there any new prayer requests?”

  Sandra’s voice on the other end was like a warm hug. After rattling off the prayer requests, Sandra filled Amanda in on the church service she had missed and asked how about her first day.

  Amanda glanced at Jade. She didn’t appear to be paying attention, but Amanda didn’t want to chance it. “It was okay. Not as good as I’d hoped, but I know it will get better.” She’d have to tell Sandra to add Jade to the prayer list the next time she called. “Be sure to say hello to Callie, JD, and little Hope for me,” Amanda said as the conversation ended.

  “Are you really going to pray for all that?”

  Her eyes flicked to Jade who had obviously been listening and was now staring at her with one eyebrow raised. “Of course I am. These people need God’s help.”

  “Why don’t they just ask for it then?”

  “They do,” Amanda said with a smile, “but there is power in prayer, so more people praying can only help. Besides it keeps me connected to God.”

  “And what if God doesn’t answer your prayers, what then? Won’t you just have wasted all that time?”

  Though the questions were snarky, Amanda wondered if they were laced with curiosity as well. Although people claimed to be agnostic, she had never met one who truly was. Most people either didn’t know God or had been wronged and therefore hated God.

  “It’s never a waste to pray, and God answers our prayers every single time. We just don’t always like or understand the answer.”

  Jade removed her headphones and sat up. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean people always expect God to give them things, so they pray for money or cars, things like that. God does give us those things occasionally, but sometimes what we ask for isn’t good for us. God always has three answers to prayers: Yes, no, or not yet. See, he has a plan for all of us, and while we don’t know exactly what it is, he does. He answers in ways that will glorify that plan. We won’t always understand his answers, but we can know he’s always listening and watching out for us.”

  “That sounds stupid.” Jade rolled her eyes and replaced her headphones. She laid back and rolled over to face the wall.

  Amanda sighed as she reached for her Bible. Jade must hold the Guinness World Record for eye rolling, but something told her that the girl fit into the “had been wronged and was blaming God” group. Amanda clearly had her work cut for her and would need God’s divine intervention.

  Chapter 4

  As the first week ended, Amanda’s loneliness settled ever deeper. She had spent every breakfast, lunch, and dinner eating alone after the disastrous breakfast on the first day. Classes hadn’t been much better, as she hadn’t met anyone she could connect with, and then there was Jade who seemed determined to try her patience every chance she got. Amanda wasn’t used to not having friends, and while she wanted to be strong, she was contemplating driving home for the weekend just to see some familiar faces.

  Amanda glanced at Jade who was scowling at some book she was reading. She seemed even grumpier than usual though Amanda had no idea how that was possible. Still, they were both alone, and they both needed to eat at some point. Maybe Jade would come to dinner with her. Bad company at this point was more appealing than no company at all.

  “Hey Jade, I’m going to go get some dinner. Do you want to come with?” Amanda asked, steeling herself for whatever Jade might hurl back at her. Jade didn’t even reply, just continued to shoot daggers at her book. “Okay, well if you change your mind, I’ll be at Bledsoe-Gordon, probably eating alone.” Still nothing. Sighing, Amanda grabbed her phone and ID and headed out of the room.

  As Amanda shut the door, her phone vibrated in her hand. She swiped the screen to see a message from Caleb. She had assumed he had either forgotten about her or just taken her number to be nice as she hadn’t heard from him all week.

  Want to grab some dinner?

  Relief flowed through her at the thought of having someone to eat with, and she quickly texted back a yes.

  True to his word, Caleb stood outside the door of Bledsoe hall. His blond hair sparkled like spun gold in the sun, and he waved as Amanda neared. Her heart fluttered and a heat crawled up her neck. She hadn’t had a serious boyfriend in high school and wasn't used to the feelings flashing through her body.

  “Hey, how was your first week?”

  His smile blew away the darkness she had been feeling. “Everything was great, except my roommate. I’m pretty sure she hates me.”

  He laughed. “I think all roommates are like that at first. My first year, I had this guy, Owen, who played video games all night long. It kept me awake many nights, but it turned out he was lonely, so after we started talking, he stopped playing the video games and became a really great friend.”

  “Well, I hope things work out like that for us, but she appeared genuinely agitated that she had to share the room. I kind of doubt that we’ll be bosom buddies anytime soon.” Amanda’s gaze dropped to the ground and she bit the inside of her lip. “I’m also feeling a little lonely if I’m honest.”

  Caleb placed a finger under her chin and pushed her face up until she was looking in his eyes. “I can’t imagine you being lonely, but I remember my first year. It does get better. You just need to get connected. It’s why I joined a fraternity my freshman year.”

  His eyes were so mesmerizing that Amanda almost missed the word fraternity as it issued from his mouth. Her brow knitted together. He was a frat boy? The first inkling of doubt sprouted within her. She had heard stories of frat boys, and they weren’t usually flattering. “I don’t really want to join a sorority unless maybe it’s a Christian one. Do they have those here?”

  “I’m sure they do,” he said with a shrug. “The bulletin board would be a good place to look. They have one in most cafeterias and at the student union. They’re not all bad, you know.”

  “What?” Amanda asked.

  “Fraternities and Sororities,” he laughed. “I saw your face and heard the tone in your voice. I know we sometimes get a bad reputation, but I joined to connect with people. My fraternity doesn’t even have the regular frat house, just a small place where we meet up once a week to catch up.”

  Heat seared across her cheeks as she stammered out an apology, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean...”

  He held his hand up, interrupting her and smiling. “I was teasing you. Come on, I’ll give you a quick tour of the most important places on campus before dinner.”

  As they walked around the campus, Caleb pointed out buildings and filled Amanda in on other aspects of college life. She tried to stay focused on his words, but now and then her gaze would wander down to his mouth. He had perfectly shaped lips, and she couldn’t help wondering what kissing them would be like.

  She’d had only one kiss and it didn’t really count. In eighth grade, there had been a game where you tried to pull the tabs off soda cans and keep them in perfect form. If you were able to, you could hand someone the tab and they had to kiss you. Rick, the pastor’s son had handed her such a tab one day as they walked the church yard between services. Then he’d leaned over and kissed her lips. It had happened so quickly that Amanda wasn’t even sure if it had been real or if she’d imagined it.

  “Dinner?”

  “Huh?” Amanda’s face blazed at the realization that she hadn’t been paying attention to anything but his lips.

  He smiled. “I asked if you were hungry. Do you want to get dinner?”

  “Oh, uh sure,” she stammered, and then, as if on cue, her stomach rumbled, punctuating her words. Could this get any more embarrassing?

  Chuckling, he led the way back to his dorm. The smell of marinara sauce wafted through the hallway as they entered.

  It was Italian night, and Amanda piled her plate with spaghetti, garlic bread, and salad. Caleb grabbed a small lasagna and a salad, but no pasta.
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  As he led the way to a table, Amanda’s brow furrowed. Did he know something she didn’t? “Okay, seriously, is the food poisonous?” she asked as they sat down.

  A melodious laugh flowed out of his mouth. “No, it’s actually pretty good, but it’s not often good for you. During my freshman year I packed on the dreaded Freshman fifteen and had to work extra hard to get it off. I’ve just learned since then that salad is usually safer, so I fill up on it and just take a small portion of the main dish.”

  Amanda was thoroughly embarrassed. What must he think of me with my plate piled high? “I’ll keep that in mind,” she said in a soft voice.

  “No one told me either my first year,” he said with a smile. “Hey, what’s your schedule next week? I’d like to meet you after your classes if it fits with my schedule.”

  “You don’t have to do that,” Amanda said, but even as the words left her mouth, her hand was fumbling in her pocket for the schedule as it wasn’t memorized yet. Her heart raced at the thought of him meeting her after class though she tried to appear nonchalant.

  “I know I don’t have to. I want to.”

  The smile he flashed was pure gold and she reciprocated, feeling happy for the first time this week. She passed her schedule across the table to him, and he perused it silently.

  “You have History near my last class, so I’ll meet you outside your History class.”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  After dinner, Caleb insisted on walking Amanda to her dorm. As the sun was setting, she agreed. The warnings of walking the campus alone at night had been drilled into her head before she graduated and then again at orientation.

  The air was still warm as they crossed the luscious green campus, and the sprinklers were working late. Amanda’s heart constricted when her dorm hall came into view as she didn’t want the night to end.

  Though the dorm had no strict visitor policy, Amanda wasn’t ready to invite him in. She bit her lip, unsure of how to tell him that. Thankfully, Caleb seemed to read her mind and stopped outside the entrance.