Dark Wish (A Dark Romance)

by Clarissa Wild

  “I’m sorry,” I say. But no matter how many times I say it, nothing will make it okay. Nothing will make her okay again. Except time.

  But I will not sit idly by and let myself befall the same fate.

  Even if I deserve everything I’ve got coming for me.

  Chapter 30

  Eli

  The moment my door creaks open, I already have a smile plastered onto my face.

  She’s here.

  I knew she would come. I’ve known since the minute I left her in her room to think about her actions while I brooded here in the dark.

  I didn’t just let her visit Anna out of kindness. There was a chance it would finally lead her to the right conclusion, so I took the opportunity, and it paid off.

  She isn’t as innocent as she once believed.

  And now she’s here to come and find out why.

  I’m quietly reading my book in the middle of my study on my comfy armchair near the fireplace when she enters. The door closes softly behind her as she comes closer and stops on the red carpet right in front of me.

  I lower my book to meet her gaze with a penetrative stare.

  “I’m ready,” she says.

  My tongue darts out to wet my lips. Right on schedule.

  “Are you sure?” I raise a brow.

  She nods, standing tall and proud even though I think she knows damn well what she’s asking from me.

  “I deserve the truth,” she says, swallowing hard. “Show me what I did.”

  My eyes narrow as adrenaline rushes through my veins, filling me with excitement. I put aside the book and lean over on my elbows, tapping my fingers together. “You deserve …”

  “Punishment.”

  My cock became hard just from that word spilling out of her mouth.

  A grin tugs at my lips as I lean back in my seat and watch her. “Beg.”

  She sucks in a breath and licks her lips. “Please … punish me for my sins.”

  I could listen to her say those words every second of the day.

  Instead, I jump up and charge at her, clasping her throat in a single hand. She shudders, beads of sweat rolling down her forehead as I tilt her head backward and look at the pale skin underneath my fingers. She’s vulnerable, completely at my mercy … perfect.

  And all it took was a nudge, a single instance of seeing the truth in front of her own eyes.

  All this time, I was searching when the answer to the problem was right in front of me.

  She saw in Anna what she could never see when she looked at me: Her own guilt.

  And now she’s come to repent.

  Her crystal clear eyes peer straight into mine, and I can’t help but feel moved. She came to me out of her own free will. And now I will be her undoing.

  I push her down, down, down until her legs cave underneath her, and she slowly kneels on the carpet. I go back to my armchair to sit down again and continue watching her, wishing I could see into her mind.

  “What do you think will happen now?” I ask, rubbing my chin.

  “You will do whatever you want with me,” she replies with a sigh. “And I will obey.”

  “Why?” I ask. “Give me one good reason.”

  We stare each other down for a second. Her answer is the single most important thing right now, and there is only one right one.

  “I don’t want to be free. Not without knowing why I was here. I need to know. I want to know the truth. To confess,” she says, every word costing her more of her soul.

  A wicked smile spreads across my lips. “I’ve waited forever for those words.”

  A blush spreads across her cheeks.

  “And what do you think I want you to do?” I ask, cocking my head.

  She’s silent for a moment before twisting her hand behind her back and peeling away the zipper that holds her dress together until it falls to the floor and leaves her completely naked on her knees.

  I’d be lying if I said it didn’t turn me on and make me rock hard.

  As I shift in my seat, the burning pain in my back is a constant reminder of what it costs me to go over the edge. But for her, I’m willing.

  “Come,” I say.

  She gets up as I command her to and walks over to me. Her pink, supple body is such a pretty sight to behold, especially in those high heels.

  “Why did you take off your dress?” I ask.

  “Isn’t that what you want?”

  “Perhaps,” I mutter.

  “I’ve been wondering … Why did you give me only dresses to wear?” she asks.

  “Because it’s what you wore that night,” I reply.

  Her face grows stone-cold as though she’s upset she can’t remember, but I can.

  If only she knew.

  My hand inches forward, and I touch her naked waist with a single fingertip, dragging it all the way down over her belly button until she gasps. “And unwrapping is half the fun,” I reply, stopping right before her pussy.

  Her cheeks flush again as her lips part. “I’m sorry, I thought—”

  I swiftly plant a finger on her lips to make her stop. “Don’t think. Just feel.”

  My other hand slides down her thigh to her knee and back up again until her entire body is covered in goose bumps. Then I lean over the side of my seat and grab the knife sitting in a block. Her eyes immediately widen, and her body tenses up. I hold her in place as I bring the knife close.

  I look up into her eyes. “Don’t. Move.”

  It’s not just a command. It’s a dare. A dare to see this through until the end.

  And as I drag the knife all the way from her knee up to her pussy, she shudders in place, fear striking her hard.

  “What are you so afraid of?” I ask, narrowing my eyes as I slide the blade across her sweet, pink skin, wishing it was my tongue instead. I run it across her belly and go all the way to the top, circling her nipples until they’re peaked. “Do you think I’ll hurt you?”

  Her lips quiver. “Maybe …”

  “Do you think I could?” I ask.

  She nods.

  “Do you think I want to?”

  Her lips part, but she hesitates.

  I stop and pull it away from her, leaning back into my chair just to admire the view. “Sit,” I growl, and I pat my lap.

  She does what I ask, but not without the inner turmoil clearly showing on her face. But she begged me to do it … so I will give her everything I have to offer.

  Her ass feels so good against my pants that I find myself fantasizing about biting into it. Maybe another time … after.

  She eyes the knife like a hawk as I slide it along her arms and down her back until that too creates goose bumps on her skin.

  “What are you doing?” she asks as she glances at me over her shoulder.

  “Desensitizing,” I reply.

  “Oh …” she murmurs. “I thought you were contemplating where to slice me.”

  I snort and bite my bottom lip. I’m not content with a one-time show. I want more. I want everything, and I want it forever.

  So I slam the knife into the chair’s armrest right in front of her. She jolts from the fright. I take the opportunity to grasp her wrists and pin them to her back, fishing a pair of cuffs from the drawer in the desk next to me so I can bind them together. She’s at my mercy now, completely helpless on my lap, left to my every whim. And she doesn’t even flinch.

  “Don’t hold back,” she whispers.

  I tilt her head back by her hair. “Oh, trust me when I say I’ll be anything but gentle.”

  I immediately rip down my zipper, take out my cock, and lift her up and down again, right on top of my shaft. Her mouth forms an o-shape, not fast enough for the sound to come out, but fast enough to register the fact I’ve buried myself deep inside her aching pussy.

  All this time, she was lying, telling herself she didn’t want me, and now her pussy is already wet just from a single devious touch.

  “You’re my little angel, aren’t you?” I growl
, fucking her harder every time her ass ends up back on my lap. “An angel who did a bad thing, but who wants to remember so badly she’ll do anything for it. An angel desperate for love.”

  She bounces around on my lap as I fuck her hard and fast. “Yes,” she mewls.

  “Say it! Tell me you’re my angel!”

  “I’m your little angel!” she cries, making me fall harder and faster than ever before.

  And I pull her head back sideways and force a kiss onto her lips as I thrust in hard and mercilessly.

  She doesn’t pull back even though I expected her to bite. Instead, she deepens the kiss, her lips opening to allow me access, which I greedily take. My tongue swivels around inside her mouth, desperate for more. She tastes divine, like walking sin ready to be devoured, and I want nothing more than to claim her for myself. Not just today, but forever.

  And it hurts to know that I can’t keep her with me, despite wanting to more than anything. After all, those are the rules. We’re supposed to set them free when they’ve been punished and repented. But will I be able to let go, knowing it will cost me everything?

  I don’t want to stop kissing her. Don’t want to stop fucking her every orifice. She is mine, and she should be mine forever. Can’t I have both?

  I groan against her lips, and she only kisses me harder as though my moans turn her on as much as hers turn me on. When our lips unlatch, my hand dives between her legs, and I flick her clit as she bounces up and down on top of me. We’re both delirious with need, lost in sin, and neither of us cares. Because this is what she needs. What we need. Complete and utter surrender.

  Her body sways with the rhythm as I’m sure her eyes are already rolling into the back of her head. The delicate skin on her back is covered in goose bumps and salty sweat, and I lean forward to lick it off, savoring her taste.

  Right then, she tilts her head back, and I press a soft but passionate kiss on the side of her neck. The moan that rolls off her tongue as she writhes on top of me pushes us both over the edge. I bite down into her shoulder until my teeth draw blood, and she yelps. Her pussy clenches around my length, milking me until I roar out loud, and we both come together. Explosive doesn’t even begin to describe us. But I am falling harder and harder for Amelia. She’s the only one who’s managed to break the barrier of ice around my heart.

  With a raspy breath, I undo the cuffs around her wrists and place them on the table.

  Suddenly, she swirls around on my lap, grasps the knife, and holds it against my neck.

  It happens so quickly that I don’t even realize it until it’s too late.

  We’re both still panting, my cock still hard inside her, but that doesn’t stop her from putting the knife right against my throat. The point pushes into my skin until I tilt my head back far enough into the cushion of the armchair that she and I are looking eye to eye.

  And I stay there for a moment, both our bodies frozen in time even as the clock ticks away steadily. All that can be heard are our rapid breaths coming from our red-hot lips. Sweat trickles down her chest into the beautiful crevice between her tits, the place where she hides all the secrets to unlock her heart.

  But I’ve finally managed to puncture through.

  A devilish smile spreads on my face as her eyes lock with mine. “Do it,” I growl. “Kill me.”

  The look on her face darkens, her teeth clenching as she contemplates her options. I can feel the sharp pain of the blade cutting my skin, but I ignore it. Her eyes flicker with rage, fear, and guilt all at the same time, and it’s consuming her whole.

  “That’s what you want to do, right?” I say, and I grab her wrist and push the blade farther against me until the blade digs into my skin, drawing blood, which oozes down the blade. “Just one step away.”

  She shivers in place, a tear rolling down her cheek. Still, she doesn’t relent. But the pain in her eyes … I’ve only seen that kind once before.

  In the mirror.

  “Look at it,” I growl. “Look at the knife.”

  Her eyes follow my direction to the blade, and they widen slowly.

  “You did it once. You can do it again,” I say.

  Her lips quiver, her grip on the knife slowly disintegrating until it finally drops to the floor. “I can’t.”

  But surprise overtakes me when instead of taking out her rage on me, she leans in and kisses me.

  Amelia

  Tears, sweat, and sex all mix in this simple but devastating kiss. I don’t know why I felt the urge to kiss him, but the second I saw the blood run down the knife, I knew I had to stop. I didn’t want to hurt him, even if I hate him for what he’s done to me.

  For what he’s made me remember.

  Because this knife … isn’t his.

  It’s mine.

  When our lips unlock, I can’t find it in me to push back, to lean away, to get off him. My body is frozen in place as I stare at the red droplets rolling down his neck. The same blood I saw that day my whole world caved in on me.

  “This is my knife …” I stammer.

  “You remember it now … don’t you?” Eli whispers, his eyes still on me like a hawk.

  But my mind is slipping further and further away into the unknown, into the memories I thought I had lost but were merely banished to the back of my mind.

  “I did it,” I mutter as Eli licks his lips and holds me steady on his lap. “I … killed him.”

  “Who?” he asks, clutching my face with both hands. “Say his name.”

  A single tear tumbles down my cheeks as my lips part, the depravity of my own actions breaking me in two. “Chris.”

  Chapter 31

  Amelia

  Birthday night

  After a long day of working in the library, I couldn’t go home. Not until I had emptied at least two bottles of wine. I didn’t mean to get drunk, but when you’re all by yourself and your birthday is celebrated by contemplating your relationship with your cheating boyfriend, that’s what happens.

  I’ll have the biggest hangover tomorrow, but I don’t care even the slightest as long as I can bury my head in the sand. When I finally get home after the bartender kicked me out, I take a deep breath before I open the door as I’m expecting Chris to be waiting for me. I’m not looking forward to it, but I know we need to talk. So I shove my keys inside and throw my bag on the dresser.

  “Chris?” I call out in my drunken voice.

  But there’s no reply. Not even a sound.

  Where is he?

  I walk into the living room and come to a cold, hard stop.

  There are clothes littered all around the apartment floor and furniture.

  Women’s clothes.

  I gulp.

  No. No. This can’t be happening.

  That kiss was a one-time thing, right?

  He wouldn’t bring a woman into our home—our bedroom—right?

  Suddenly, the door to the bedroom bursts open. Chris stands in the doorway, half-naked. A storm brews on his face, and the moment he sees me, it’s like a volcano erupted in his eyes. “You … You’re not supposed to be here.”

  His nostrils flare, rage flooding his face.

  Suddenly, he charges at me, and he shoves me all the way to the kitchen island, his hands wrapped around my throat.

  It’s not the first bruise, or the first cut, or the first hit. But it’s the first real threat to my life.

  Panic fills my veins, and I instantly go into fight or flight mode. I try to squeal, try to shove him off me, but it’s no use. He’s much stronger than I am, and my drunken body is unequipped to deal with the situation. I claw at his fingers, biting my own lip in the process, but nothing works, and I’m fading fast.

  No time to think. No time to act.

  “Chris …” His name is the last word that leaves my lips.

  The last word before I grasp behind me, desperate to escape … And my hands find one of the knives from the wooden block.

  And in one quick jab, I’ve lodged the blade right
into his chest.

  His hands lower as he stumbles away from me. I grasp my throat and inch away as he sinks to the floor. But something in my mind clicks. Something wicked. Something cruel.

  And instead of running, instead of calling for help, I stay and watch him drown in his own blood.

  Present

  My lips feel icy cold against his as images of a cold-hearted bitch stabbing her own boyfriend to death spring into my mind. Memory after memory comes flooding back inside. Blood seeping from Chris’s wounds. Him falling to the ground like a bag of potatoes. Me not giving a single care in the world if he lived or if he died. And when I pulled that blade from his soft flesh, I smiled.

  I actually smiled.

  The one person who could hurt me, really hurt me, no longer could.

  Because I hurt him instead.

  I back away from Eli slowly as the tears spring into my eyes. “I … I …”

  “Tell me what you did,” Eli murmurs, grabbing ahold of my face.

  “I stabbed him,” I say, hiccupping. “I’m a murderer.”

  “You killed him because he was going to kill you,” he says.

  My eyes skid back and forth between him and the memories lodged deep inside. “Oh God, oh God.”

  “Look at me, Amelia. Look at me.” Eli holds on tight, keeping me here in the moment. “Stay with me. Don’t lose yourself.”

  “I can’t. I’m a killer. I did it. I … I … I’m a monster,” I mutter, unable to keep the weeping at bay. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  He shushes me and pulls me into him, wrapping his arms around me so tight it feels like I’m suffocating. But it’s not the same kind of chokehold that Chris had on me. It’s a warm embrace, one filled with love and acceptance, one where I can let go and cry until I have no more tears left.

  “You’re not a monster,” he says.

  “I stabbed him!” I yell through my own tears.

  “You had no other choice,” he says. “Kill or be killed.”

  I close my eyes and let the full depravity of my actions wash over me like the ocean water washes over the beach. This is what Eli meant when he told me I needed to face my own sin. The sole reason for me wishing I would be punished over and over again.