Trying To Be Good Book 2

by Weston Parker

  “I’ll see you soon?” I asked.

  “Yes,” she said, licking her lips.

  I walked with her to the train and watched until she was down the steps before heading back to my car.

  Once I got inside my car, I pulled off my shirt and checked out the wound. Thick, red blood seeped onto my chest. I bundled the shirt up and kept pressure on the wound all the way back to my place. I couldn’t believe I’d been so reckless. Paige was already curious about my past. Now, I was sure she’d rethink not questioning me about it.

  I had tried to kiss away her concern, but I wondered how long I’d be able to last. I was usually on my toes, ready for an explanation about my past if it ever came up, but I hadn’t expected explaining away a gushing wound.

  I knew she’d ask about it again, so I had to make sure to take care of my injury so it could heal. She was already interested in my scars. Now she would see the progression of how my next one came to be. It wasn’t what I hoped for our meeting to look like.

  At home, I went to the bathroom and pulled out the first-aid kit which I hadn’t touched in a while, other than for paper cuts. My students never appreciated bodily fluids on their paperwork. I dumped the contents onto the counter and sifted through them, grabbing the metal needle and some thread. Most of my more noticeable scars hadn’t come from a hospital suture, but from my own messy handiwork. At least this one was in the front. It was a bitch to get the ones on my back. I didn’t have as many friends anymore who were willing to help without questions. I was sure Paige would make perfect lines, giving my skin a chance to heal properly, but I’d never be able to get away with asking her without a full explanation.

  I turned the hot water on and waited for it to heat up. Meanwhile, I ripped a length of thread from the spool, estimating how much I would need. Once the water was hot enough, I placed the tip of the needle under the stream. For an extra measure, I cleaned the needle with alcohol as well. I wasn’t an idiot and wasn’t about to get an infection.

  I threaded the needle and took a sharp breath as I patted it with a cotton swab doused in alcohol. Paige’s face popped into my mind. This was all for her. I would do anything to keep her safe.

  Chapter 16

  The two weeks between setting up and my employee’s arrival went by in a whirlwind. With my slightly damp hands clasped in front of me, I couldn’t help the shaking of my knees as I watched the caterers come into the warehouse space and set up breakfast. The spread was impressive, even I had to admit to myself.

  Everything had gone according to plan, with little hiccups. Thanks to Reese’s warning about being a realist, I handled all of it in stride. Between managing the employees’ travel and perfecting the office for each of them, I barely had time to see him. He assured me he was busy enough with nailing down the details of the permanent building, so I didn’t feel so bad.

  But in the quiet moments between organizing and keeping the business running, I thought of him often. I wasn’t the whiny girl who always needed his attention, though it would have been nice to hear from him. After he’d come to see the warehouse decorated by Marcie, it was practically radio silence, other than a few texts about work. I couldn’t help thinking of all the times we pushed work aside for more personal things, but he was still my architect, and until he finished the building, he was on my payroll.

  “I think we’re good here,” Allison said, coming up to me. She’d overseen the caterers and setting up the fantastic breakfast spread.

  The smell of the pastries filled my nose, and I noted the flaky crumb at the corner of her mouth.

  “You had a little taste, didn’t you?” I asked, indicating the crumb.

  She swiped it away. “I had to be sure they were up to your standards.”

  I arched an eyebrow at her. “Mine?”

  She blew a raspberry. “Mine too. We’re a team remember?”

  I laughed. “Is everything else all set?”

  She saluted me. “Aye, aye.”

  I let out a breath.

  “Relax, Paige. You’ve perfected every detail. This is the time to get to know everyone. If something is amiss, we’ll deal with it. There are going to be growing pains with everyone in the same place.”

  “I know.” I wanted everyone to know how capable I was and not think they picked up their lives to work with an amateur. We both knew that wasn’t the case, but the anxiety crept in more than I wanted.

  We had about ten minutes until the first arrivals. We’d spread them out over the next two hours, so it wouldn’t be too overwhelming. It helped that I’d kept them all in virtual contact, but it was different speaking to someone online versus in person, especially now that they were sharing space too. The warehouse and our future building would have plenty of it, but I wanted to foster the relationships before each of them had literal walls between them. They were all hard workers, and this was the first step in solidifying my team for the long haul. Trekking across the country, some from as far as California, it was a necessary step before pushing the company to the next level. The time between now and settling into the new building was crucial to the success of the company, and the pressure weighed on my shoulders, and mine alone.

  They had enough to worry about without me adding anything to the mix. I was their boss, and I’d shoulder anything to make this company a success. In a way, I wanted to show everyone who’d doubted me, including my competitors, that I was here to stay. A building and loyal employees were the only way to go.

  “Did you set up the event schedule for the rest of the month?” I asked Allison. Once a week, I wanted the whole company to take part in team-building activities. But not the boring ones. Nights out for drinks, afternoon family picnics, and one day in an escape room filled the agenda. I wasn’t going to pull out a guitar and sing in front of a bonfire, so I wanted everyone to learn about each other in different settings. A part of me wondered if it was all too much, but Allison assured me everyone would love it. I supposed it helped that the company would pay for all of it. Besides, I wanted them all to see the city I loved so much in different, non-touristy ways.

  “Peter Malone is here,” Allison said, breaking through my thoughts.

  Peter was much taller than I’d realized. He ducked through the warehouse entry and looked around the space before his gaze fell on me. My insides warmed. This was the start to the future, and I accepted it head on.

  For the next two hours, I welcomed the employees, showed them their new working spaces, and introduced them as they trickled in. The food went quickly. I’d picked the deli that Reese had taken me to the first time we toured the city together. There were so many compliments on the food, and there were enough leftovers for them to enjoy throughout the week.

  “It’s time,” Allison said to me once everyone had arrived. They all mingled together as if they had been family and friends for years and meeting at a reunion. It all turned out better than I’d expected.

  “Everyone,” I said, loud enough to get their attention. I wasn’t sure what I expected, but their immediate silence surprised me. I scanned the room, facing each of them before speaking. Even though we were a large company, I wanted them to feel as individual as possible. “Thank you for coming on such short notice. I’m so happy to finally have you all here in one place.”

  “What a beautiful place, huh?” Allison said.

  Many of them nodded and noted their agreement. I knew Allison loved the warehouse, but I wanted clients to be excited to walk into a brand-new building, showing that I knew what I was doing with their money.

  “This is only a temporary space,” I said. “Later this week, I’m going to showcase the plans for the new building.” At the very least, I’d be able to check in with Reese to be sure we were okay. I wasn’t sure how to classify our relationship, but I could judge from our next conversation, which we would have in person.

  A few of them turned to each other with smiles on their faces at the mention of the new building. Throughout meeting them, I’d re
ceived a lot of compliments on the warehouse space. If they were impressed with that, then I’d blow their socks off with what Reese planned for the building.

  At the end of the meeting, I allowed them about an hour to mingle among themselves before signing into their computers. I had the IT company coming in to help with setting up passwords and troubleshooting any issues with the computers as they arose. They assured me there were always issues and made themselves available to me. Yet another excellent choice in a working relationship. I was done with over-the-phone or computer relationships. From now on, I wanted to work face to face.

  I couldn’t help thinking of Reese. He’d been very hands-on from the start, professionally and personally. My arms broke out in goosebumps, thinking about him.

  “Paige?” Katherine Yates asked from next to me.

  “Hi, what’s up?” I asked her, knowing I’d been lost in my thoughts about Reese. He tended to do that to me.

  Katherine was a short, squat woman in her forties. She’d been one of the few employees I had to push to bring to the city. Her first meeting with me earlier in the day was a little awkward, but I wanted to make sure she felt welcome.

  “I’m sorry I was a pain in nailing the details down for coming here,” she said, chewing on her lip.

  “Not at all,” I said. “I understand how difficult it must have been.”

  “Well, once we put the numbers together, it wasn’t really. I suffer from an anxiety disorder, so I think most of it was in my head. My husband was the one to push me.”

  Funny. Allison made it seem as if her husband wanted to stay at his job where they lived. But with her admitting what she dealt with, I now knew how to handle her better.

  “Well, let me know if I can do anything to ease your mind,” I said. “I want this to work out for everyone. I can imagine the move wasn’t easy with an entire family.”

  “No!” she said, grabbing my hands. “It was easy. You and Allison were great. I wanted to tell you how happy I am to be here. Much happier than before. I’ve always wanted to visit New York City, and now I live here. I wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done. I appreciate your patience and generosity during this time. This is a great company and deserves to be recognized.”

  “I appreciate that,” I said, unable to hold back the heat moving behind my eyes.

  “We all know how hard you worked to build this company from nothing. I feel like a fool for giving you a tough time with the move.”

  “You didn’t,” I said. “Please, don’t worry about it.”

  “Thank you,” she said as her shoulders curled into her. “Well, I should get to work.”

  She shuffled toward her desk, and I made a mental note to check in with her more often. I knew people who suffered from anxiety and understood how difficult simple things could be. She was an amazing employee, and I’d do whatever it took to keep her.

  There were more computer issues than I realized, but the IT company took care of them swiftly and efficiently. I let everyone out around five so they could have time to unpack their lives or explore the city before coming into work tomorrow. I expected everyone to put their nose to the grindstone tomorrow so that we could move past all of this and continue to build and expand the company.

  Allison was the last to leave. She chatted with one of the IT guys—well, flirted was more like it. I wasn’t sure if he was aware, but it did remind me of Reese.

  I checked my phone and texted him on a whim. You hungry?

  Starving, he texted a minute later.

  My fingers hovered over the keyboard. Can I come over? I hesitated then quickly texted. I want to see how the building is going.

  As much as I wanted to be with him as myself and not someone paying him, I needed to manage expectations and keep a certain amount of professionalism between us. I liked the warehouse, but I didn’t want to take his place for free for longer than necessary.

  Sure. But the payment is takeout.

  I grinned at my phone. You got it.

  “What are you so smiley about?” Allison asked, walking up to me.

  I placed my phone face down on the nearest desk. “I’m happy about all of this. I can’t help feel as if everything is finally coming together.” It was the truth, but not all the way. I felt like a teen girl about to meet her crush for coffee. It was simple but delicious at the same time.

  “You deserve to feel that way. Everything went smoothly today. You should take the night off.” Then, she rolled her eyes. “Wait, I forgot who I was speaking with.”

  “This is the time to push,” I said. “I feel as if I’ve taken the last two weeks off.”

  “You haven’t, but you think what you want. I’m heading out. You want to grab a bite?”

  I felt bad for lying to her, but I couldn’t have her think there was more between Reese and me. At least more than she already thought.

  “I’m going to stick around here for a few minutes. I have some emails to catch up on.”

  She nodded. “Fine, but don’t stay too late. I don’t want to see you in the same outfit tomorrow.”

  I shivered, thinking that if I spent the night with Reese, that was exactly what would happen. Then, I shook off the thoughts. I wouldn’t go there with any expectations. I could still hope, though.

  Chapter 17

  My distance from Paige over the last two weeks wasn’t something I planned ahead of time. I probably should have warned her what I was like when I got into the zone while working on a project. I tended to burrow myself in a hole and come out only for sleep and food.

  With school done and my obligations during the day nonexistent, I tucked myself into that place without looking back. It was the only way I could keep my thoughts of Paige front and center—professionally. It would be the best thing for both of us if she remained there, but I was the catalyst in not making that happen.

  Instead of ignoring the swirling thoughts in my head about her, I kept her right there, teasing myself while keeping my phone far away from me. How easy would it be to have her come over every night for dinner and stay in my bed or vice versa? She’d decorated the warehouse so quickly that I knew she could make time for us. She wasn’t the overnight worker type, but maybe that had changed. She had a lot of moving parts to juggle, with getting her employees into the city and prepping the temporary office. I could rely on that for a little while and keep my animalistic instincts at bay.

  That was, until she texted me, offering food. My refrigerator was all but empty now. I only had condiments and a swig of milk left. It could use a little refreshing. Even though Paige was bringing me takeout, I planned on sneaking money into her purse at some point. We weren’t a typical couple, but I would never take anything from her she didn’t want me to have.

  In the brief time it took her to arrive, I cleaned up the clutter around my place and took the quickest—and coldest—shower known to man. This would be a business meeting. It had to be, even though I was unsure how long I could keep myself from touching her.

  I pulled on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. Normally, I worked in whatever I’d slept in the night before, but since this was Paige’s first time here, I wanted to make an impression which didn’t involve looking like a street rat.

  I’d have to navigate her feelings at the same time. Several texts from her went unanswered in the two weeks since we’d seen each other last. Every time I went to respond, I couldn’t think of anything to say to her. Well, there were plenty of things I could have said to her, but none of them were fair.

  If I’d asked her to come over, she would have. Then, our tangled relationship would get even more knotted and confusing. The best thing I could do for us was force the space and hope when the time came to fulfill the deal with Jonah, we’d be as unscathed as possible.

  Though, I doubted it would end that way. I tended to leave situations like that incredibly messy and broken.

  Those were the thoughts I wanted to get rid of.

  I busied my mind with organizin
g my work from the last two weeks into a pile on the dining room table. I wanted to keep our meal casual, so we’d eat in the breakfast nook. The nook was small and intimate, which went against what I wanted, but it would have to do. I needed the space to show her my work, and my office desk wouldn’t do.

  The doorbell rang, and I stood, pushing a breath out of me. Everything was going to be okay. If I stuck to the work, we’d get out of this okay.

  All those thoughts flew out of my head the moment I opened the door.

  Paige stood there holding two white plastic bags in her hands. The scent of Chinese food wafted into my place. If it were possible, she looked even more amazing than I remembered. Maybe space wasn’t what I needed. Maybe seeing her more often would have created a routine, and I could have created boundaries.

  But it was too late for that.

  She moved a strand of her hair over her shoulder and peered into the room behind me. “Are we eating in the hallway?”

  Wordlessly, I moved aside, inhaling her scent as she walked into my penthouse. In that moment, I realized my persona would go out the window. I’d never pretended to be the penniless professor around her. I’d paid for all her meals each time we went out, and I didn’t wear my more modest clothes on our dates. If Allison had told her anything about my finances, it would be thrown out the window tonight.

  It was one thing that I had a warehouse where I didn’t need Paige to pay rent. It was another thing entirely to see where I lived. It was twice the size of Paige’s apartment and filled with expensive technology and appliances. I’d never invited Chance over to my place, something he’d questioned before, but I made it seem as if I lived in a rat-infested shithole, which made him not mind avoiding my home.

  “Wow,” she said. “Nice place.”

  I looked at the apartment through her eyes. While it was filled with sharp edges and lines, the apartment was home to me. I preferred a clean place, and I’d hand selected everything in here. “Rent controlled,” I said by way of explanation. “Can I take one of those bags?”