Whispers in the Wind

by Veronica Giolli

  After Rita turned in for the night, Sunny was unable to sleep. She was too anxious about their talk with Madam Carmen. She was also thinking about Gina. Also not getting a hold of Barry bothered her. Should I call him again? No, it’s late. He would think she was checking on him, which is what she would be doing. She mumbled into her pillow, “Well, he’s an adult. I don’t need to babysit him. I wonder if Rita’s right, maybe I don’t give him a chance.”

  She made a mental note to call him the next day when he got off work. She rolled over, hoping to shut off her mind. However, after another ten minutes of tossing and turning, she switched on the table lamp and settled for rereading her notes.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

  THURSDAY MORNING

  Sunny called the Allen home and made an appointment with Frank’s wife, Helen. Sunny would go to their house at noon when Frank would be there.

  Rita stepped into the living room and handed her mom a cup of coffee. “Remember, you said I could go with you to Frank’s?”

  “Yes, I remember. I need to talk to Frank and he won’t be there ’til noon. What about the shop? Are you able to get away?”

  “Yes.” She hugged her mother goodbye. “I’ll work ’til eleven, then meet you here.”

  Sunny nodded. “Okay.” She set her unfinished coffee on the end table. As she paced nervously around the room, the facts of Gina’s death rolled around in her mind. She felt like her brain was going to explode. Gina, why do I feel so helpless and unsure? Help me to know what’s going on. She couldn’t keep from wondering why Gina didn’t tell them what was happening to her. Come to me, please. Help me understand.

  Sunny caught her image in the mirror as she put on a sky-blue sweater and dark blue jeans with black high-heeled boots. “Yeah.” She liked how she looked.

  Rita’s car pulled up; she rushed inside and headed to her bedroom to change. “I’ll be ready in a minute,” she said, then hurried out dressed in a scoop-neck black sweater.

  Sunny liked how it showed off Rita’s silver-chained diamond R initial that Barry bought for her when he married Sunny. Rita’s hair was tucked under her black knit hat, revealing the triangle birthmark beneath her right earlobe.

  Sunny was surprised but said nothing. Rita seldom wore her hair up, self-conscious as she was of her birthmark.

  Grabbing her notebook and pen she stuck them in her purse. “Okay, let’s go. Remember, just listen. I’ll do the talking.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

  Sunny and Rita drove the six miles across town to the reservation. As they passed Gina and Jesse’s house, both turned their heads. Rita pointed through the window. “Jesse’s car’s not in the driveway.”

  “Good, I don’t want to run into him until I’m ready.”

  She parked in front of the Allen home. The house was yellow with brown shutters, like all the other cookie-cutter homes in the rez. A waist-high chain-link fence made its way around the front yard where a yellow lab lay half-asleep. As they approached, he jumped up, barked, and lunged at the fence. They hesitated at the gate until Frank stepped out onto the porch. “Haw-uh,” he said to Sunny and Rita. He turned to his dog. “Gunner, knock it off.”

  Gunner went back to his spot and lay down, growling to himself. They entered the yard, keeping him in sight, and climbed up the few steps to the porch. Both echoed, “Haw-uh.”

  Frank stood in the middle of the open door. “Gunner’s all bark and no bite.” Laughing, he said, “No teeth.”

  Frank was the color of someone left out in the sun too long. He always smiled, even with a missing front tooth. He tried to cover his bald spot by parting his hair on one side and combing it over the top, which only drew more attention to it. He led them into the house where his wife was busy making fry bread.

  Helen came out from the kitchen. “Good. You’re just in time.” She wiped her hands on her apron. Her black hair was piled on top of her head, with a few strands loose along her hairline. “We’re having Indian tacos. Would you like one?”

  “Oh, I didn’t mean to interrupt your lunch,” said Sunny. She hesitated. “But I’d love one.”

  “Me too, if you have enough,” echoed Rita.

  “There’s plenty,” Frank said. “My buddy from work is coming by, so Helen made enough to feed a tribe.” He chuckled.

  Sunny followed Frank into the cozy kitchen. She smelled the hot grease. “Well, this shouldn’t take long,” she said. “You don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to. I’m here as Gina’s friend. I just have a few questions.”

  “I want to help as much as I can. Heck, you’re from the rez. You’re family,” he said. “We loved Gina. I care about Jesse too, but sometimes I want to kick his ass ’til I knock the Indian out of him.”

  “Things aren’t adding up for me.” Sunny looked from his face to his wife’s. “Why would Gina kill herself? Did she ever say anything for you to think that?”

  “No, we never had a clue. It was sickening, what happened,” he said. “We’ve been upset ever since.”

  “Terrible, terrible,” said Helen. “Those poor boys … what they went through.”

  Frank sat at the kitchen table with Sunny and Rita. “Many a time when Gina came over, her eyes were bruised black-and-blue. We heard screaming when Jesse was drunk and acting crazy. He don’t know, but I called the cops plenty.”

  Helen added, “The last time I saw Gina alive she had a cut lip, and the skin under her eye matched her purple sweater. I could tell Jesse beat on her all the time. Made me sick to my stomach.”

  Sunny kept writing. “What’s ‘all the time’?”

  “Enough that the kids were scared to go home when Jesse was drinking,” said Frank.

  Helen chimed in. “They stayed at our house a lot.”

  Frank helped his wife put the platter of tacos on the table. “We didn’t hear anything unusual that day. I heard music and laughter and people were outside, coming and going,” he said. He crowded the table with plates of fry bread, meat, tomatoes, and the rest of the makings, with plenty of bottles of hot sauce.

  “We’re used to it, so we didn’t pay attention,” Helen added, dishing up the Indian tacos. Then she paused. “Now I wish we had.”

  “You weren’t invited to the party?” asked Sunny.

  “Yeah. But we’re older, and we know what can happen when everyone gets to drinking. Arguments start and, before you know it, fights break out. ’Course we’ve never seen anything this bad,” said Helen.

  “I told the cops and BIA. It was something awful, the little kids running over here, screaming and crying. Helen and my girls kept the boys here, while I ran over to their house …”

  Helen interrupted with her eyes wet. “It was terrible for those boys.”

  Frank continued. “… no one was there. Gina was on the couch. Blood all over, I thought I was going to lose my lunch. Horrible, horrible. I called the tribal police. Helen called Jesse’s mom. She said he was down at Louis’s. I raced down there and we all ran back to the house.” Frank grimaced, closing his eyes as if it all was too much to remember.

  Sunny felt sick too. Frank and Helen were good people, and she was forcing them to relive the immediate aftermath of Gina’s death. She wondered briefly if she should keep questioning them. Was it too hard on them? She was startled by a knock at the door. Frank stood. “That’s my buddy, Jerry. He comes by now and then for lunch. Likes Helen’s home cooking.”

  Frank ambled to the door and stepped aside to let Jerry in. “You’ve both met my friend Jerry, haven’t you?”

  Sunny’s mouth fell open. She dropped her pen.

  Gerald smiled at Rita as he shook her hand. “Yeah, we met at Gina’s. Good to see you ladies again.” He studied Rita for a moment and looked at Sunny. “I knew Sunny when we were teenagers. How’re you doing?”

  She had a hard time finding her voice. “Fine … thanks.” He was the last person she wanted to see. Rita stared at him and then at her mother. Gerald’s eyes widened as they focused on
Rita’s birthmark, then stared hard at Sunny.

  Totally unnerved, Sunny fumbled, putting her notebook and pen in her purse. She craved air and light. She needed to be anywhere but here. “I’m sorry. I just remembered I have another appointment. Sorry.”

  “Here, take a couple of these tacos with you.” Helen bundled two large tacos in plastic wrap.

  “Thanks for the information … and the tacos. Come on, Rita, let’s go.” Sunny was nearly at the door.

  “Nice to see you again.” Rita followed her mother out.

  Looking over her shoulder at Gerald, Sunny saw that her daughter had noticed the triangle birthmark below Gerald’s ear. They said goodbye to the Allens. Rita looked confused.

  When they reached the car, Rita looked at her mother. “What the heck was that all about? You don’t have another appointment. Why are you so addlepated? Is it because of Gerald? You’ve run into him before. Did he try to hit on you? Is that why he makes you nervous?”

  They got in the car and sat for a moment. Sunny sat holding the keys in her lap. “Thinking and talking earlier about Gina overwhelmed me. I felt like leaving.”

  “Did you notice Gerald has a birthmark below his ear, like mine? I thought only people related had the same birthmarks. How odd is that?” Rita stopped and took a deep breath. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

  “No.”

  Sunny tried twice to put the key in the ignition with her trembling hands. She was confused with the things that had just happened. How would she handle this? How would she explain it to Rita? She’d waited too long. She’d really screwed things up. She turned the corner and pulled over in front of an empty lot.

  Rita jerked off her seat belt and turned to look at her mother. “What the heck is going on with you? You act like you never had a guy flirt with you before. He knows you’re married. He talked to Dad at Gina’s.”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “How can flirting be complicated? Oh God, Mom, did you go out with him?”

  “Of course not. All right, all right. The reason Gerald has the same birthmark as yours is … ah … uhmm …”

  Rita gasped. Her hands flew to cover her mouth. Her face blanched. “Oh no, I just got it. Jerry. Is he the same Jerry who is my father?”

  “Yes … but listen.”

  “Mom, why didn’t you tell me? You knew when we saw him at Gina’s. You’ve seen him all over the place … and you never said a word!”

  “It just didn’t seem the right time to tell you. It never seemed like the right time. If it’s any consolation, Barry doesn’t know either.”

  “My God! What were you thinking … not saying anything to us? Dad stood talking to him at Gina’s and didn’t know who he was. That’s so wrong! Dad’s going to be pissed, and I don’t blame him.” Her eyes filled with tears.

  “Mmm … well … one more thing. I might as well tell you. Gerald doesn’t know either.”

  “What! How long did you think you could keep this a secret? Another twenty-two years? I can’t believe you! I can’t breathe in here.” Rita opened the car door.

  Sunny’s eyes widened. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m going to get some air. Maybe walk home.”

  “You are not. It’s freezing out. Get your butt in here.”

  After standing outside a minute, tears frozen to her cheeks, she got back in the car.

  “All right, I didn’t handle this whole thing very well. I’m sorry,” said Sunny.

  Staring at her mother, Rita said, “Sorry is just a word to make the other person feel better. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  Sunny’s stomach churned. Afraid and panicky, she gripped the steering wheel. Her hands shook. “Well, you know now. First you were too small. I did tell you his name was Jerry. But at the time I didn’t know where he was. Then I thought I’d wait ’til you were older. Somehow the time got away from me.”

  “Yeah, like twenty-two years. There’s no excuse.”

  “I can understand you being upset. I did what I thought was best for us. I know you’re mad. You have a right to be.”

  Rita chewed on her bottom lip. “Heck yeah, I’m mad! What do you expect?”

  Looking down at her hands, Sunny folded them. “I hope it doesn’t change anything with us.”

  “This Gerald, or Jerry, is a stranger. I don’t know if I even want to know him. I hope he doesn’t want to be my father. Eeeuuuch.”

  “Let’s cross that bridge when we come to it. He may repeat his disappearing act and we won’t have to worry about it.”

  Rita turned in her seat and stared out the window, stewing in her anger. “I can’t believe you did this to me, Mom! I feel stupid, humiliated. Like, I’m so dumb. I should have figured it out sooner. But how could I? You didn’t share anything with me. And I never laid eyes on him ’til today.”

  “You never asked,” Sunny said quietly. “I guess I figured it was best to leave well enough alone.”

  “Like, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it?”

  “That’s one way to put it.”

  “That’s a cop-out, Mom. You should have told me.” Rita’s cheeks were wet, her breathing labored.

  Sunny started the car. “I never meant to hurt you. Everything I ever did was for you. I gave you all my love, all my everything, to make up for not having a father.”

  “I don’t know if that’s possible, Mom.”

  The phone was ringing as they walked into the house. Rita snatched it up as Sunny listened. “Hello … Yes, I’m fine … Yes, maybe we could get together soon … She’s right here. Mom, it’s for you.” Rita flung the receiver at her and stomped out.

  Sunny steeled herself. “Hello?”

  “What the hell is going on?” Gerald’s voice was gruff. “You see me and you leave? What the hell!”

  “Just stay away from me.”

  “I’m coming over there now.”

  “No.” She spoke as forcefully as she could. “That’s not a good idea.”

  “I couldn’t care less. She’s my kid, isn’t she? I saw the birthmark, Sunny. I saw it plain as day. You tell me if I’m wrong. She’s my kid.”

  She didn’t answer.

  “Tell my daughter I’m on my way.” Click.

  She called out to Rita, “Gerald is on his way over.” The phone had gone dead.

  At the first knock Sunny went to the door, dreading this face-to-face meeting. She stopped just inside and exhaled breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. Gerald stood on the porch, feet planted wide, hands on hips, elbows sticking out like grasshopper legs. He glared at her as the veins in his neck pulsed. He looked like he wanted to punch somebody—and that somebody was Sunny. In response, she stared him down.

  “Can I come in?”

  Without a word she stepped back. He stormed into the house like a one-man SWAT team.

  Rita had returned from her room and stood, awkward and uncomfortable in her own home, as if she were a stranger in a strange land, driven by curiosity.

  Sunny led them into the kitchen and indicated the table and chairs. “Would anyone like to sit down?” She pulled out a chair and sank onto it, more to still her trembling legs than anything.

  Gerald remained standing, facing Sunny like a kid itching for a fight. Rita sat across from her mother, taking it all in.

  “Well, I guess it’s now or never: Rita, meet your father.” Sunny did her best to keep the quiver out of her voice. “Gerald, meet your daughter.”

  “What the hell, Sunny? That’s all you’ve got to say? Just ‘Gerald, meet your daughter’?!” he began, eyes accusing, voice demanding. “Explain it, Sunny. I’m curious where you get off keeping something like this to yourself.”

  That was the wrong thing to say. Sunny exploded. “And I’m curious where you get off barging in here and acting like I owe you something. Boy, have you got that backwards. I’m the one, if you remember, who got left holding the bag while you took off, footloose and fancy-free. So you figure out who owes who. I
hope you brought your checkbook, ’cause there’s a helluva lot of back child support due, if it gets down to who owes who.”

  Gerald’s jaw dropped. It was obvious he’d come expecting an apology, like he was the wronged party—the only wronged party.

  Sunny plunged ahead. “You want an explanation, I’ll give you an explanation. In case you forgot, it takes two to tango. If you were so damn sure you didn’t want a baby why didn’t you use a condom? Why didn’t you abstain? But no, you knock me up and then, rather than suffer any of the consequences—and there were consequences—you take off like a grizzly bear’s on your tail. No forwarding address. No ‘Let me know if you ever need anything.’ No ‘Give me twenty-three years to change my mind.’ No nothing.”

  Gerald gulped and sank into a chair at the table, staring at Sunny.

  Sunny glared at him, her voice more strident with each word. “You might want to think about …”

  Rita looked like a goldfish—her eyes wide and mouth open—as she glanced back and forth, back and forth. She stood up. “Um, maybe I should go somewhere and let you two talk.”

  Sunny stopped and exhaled, her heart pounding and her eyes frenzied. She fought to regain control. “I’m sorry, honey. Gerald and I can finish this later … or not. Sit down. I don’t want you to go anywhere.” She took a breath and exhaled with resignation before going on. “Please, sit down.”

  Rita did, looking uncomfortable, sneaking glances at Gerald.

  “I guess I was off base,” admitted Gerald. “It seems like your mom’s got a lot to say to me, Rita. And I probably deserve it. But now’s not the right time.” His eyes demanded consent from Sunny whose chest rose and fell before she dipped her head in assent. He turned back to Rita. “It was a big shock just now over at Frank’s. When I saw my birthmark on your neck and it dawned on me … Well, you could’a knocked me over with a feather.”

  Rita said, “Yeah, me too.”

  Gerald continued. “After I thought about it a minute or two, I got mad. I thought to myself, I should have known. Why didn’t I know? ’Cause nobody told me. I have a kid, a grown-up kid, and nobody ever told me. Then I started thinking about all the people who had to know, but didn’t tell me, and I got mad at everybody.”