Frankie & Me
Page 16
‘You won’t believe what just happened,’ I shouted back.
‘I don’t think that could be any more perfect,’ Mum said, when I told her about the job. ‘It is as if they wrote it with you in mind.’
‘I hope they did!’
‘You know that you have my full support on this, Dani.’
‘It would mean I’d be staying here,’ I said, knowing that Mum had already said it would be okay to stay. ‘Do you think I should leave the application and focus on getting my results and then deciding about where to go?’ The excitement had turned to fear. Would this mean I had sealed my fate and that I would be staying at home for another three years rather than taking a risk and moving out?
‘Dani, I mean this with love. At the moment, the choice isn’t yours. They haven’t offered you the job. They’ve only asked if you’d like to apply. If you get offered the job, then you can start thinking about the options, but you have to apply first.’
That was a fair point! I knew that at the very least, I wanted to be in with a chance of getting the job, so first things first.
It was time to fill in my first job application.
Fifty-Two
‘Soz. Again! x,’ came another message from Frankie last night.
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to talk to her but when she called I knew I couldn’t ignore her either.
‘You’re just so confident in going for your dreams and I don’t want you to leave me because I’m an immature loser,’ she said.
I was not expecting that. Frankie thought I was confident? She was worried about me leaving her? Wow.
‘I’m terrified,’ I admitted to her. ‘I don’t know what to do for the best, I’m trying to figure it all out and I don’t want you to leave me because I’m boring and still living with my mum.’
There was silence as we realised we were both frightened of the same thing. Change. Things were changing and the excitement of leaving Sixth Form was overwhelming because we didn’t know what would happen next. We didn’t know if we could manage being apart. We didn’t know what to do for the best.
‘Are you definitely staying at home?’ Frankie asked. This time, there was genuine interest in her voice.
‘Yeah, I am.’ Saying it out loud for the first time was a relief. ‘I know I might always wonder whether I would’ve enjoyed living in Halls, but this way, I get the best of everything.’
‘You’re right. You get someone to do your washing, cook you nice meals and still get to go and live the Uni lifestyle whenever you want.’
I felt the need to defend myself even though we both knew it wasn’t true. ‘You know I do my share around the house! It’s the only reason Mum’s letting me stay.’
Writing my application last night, it became obvious to me that I couldn’t leave. More than that, I didn’t want to leave.
It’s not about being frightened of moving away, it’s about making a conscious decision to stay. My friends are moving away, they’re all going off to Uni and Callie is still on her mission to be a global superstar, so I know I’ll be starting again with meeting new people. Once I decided I was staying here, I started to feel excited about that.
I want to have a new adventure, I want to meet new people and I definitely want to enjoy Uni. I just don’t want those things at the expense of everything else that matters to me.
I have learnt the hard way that moving away doesn’t necessarily make everything better. It isn’t always a new adventure. I wouldn’t change what I have now, but the journey to get here has taught me more than I ever wanted to know about valuing what you have, not taking it for granted and being grateful for the amazing things that happen every day. After all, that’s all any of us have. This moment right now.
In my application, I was asked about how I believed I could be a positive role model to the young people I would be working with.
I wrote, ‘I understand first-hand what it is like to feel profound fear, to succumb to the dark days and to feel like there’s no hope. I don’t underestimate the pain that someone feels when they are experiencing their own dark days and I don’t believe there’s an easy way out. Being honest about that shows young people that their feelings are valid and necessary. We don’t all have to be happy all of the time, but there are choices that we can make to help us along the way. I have been on both sides of those choices. Sometimes I haven’t made a decision to help myself, sometimes I have decided to hide away. Sometimes I have chosen to do the opposite, and for me, taekwondo has been a significant part of making those positive choices. I haven’t always trained as hard as I could, I have missed some sessions and maybe if I had worked harder, I’d already be wearing my black belt. I can, however, share the message that it’s the small choices, each and every day, that make the difference. I can share that message, along with my own journey of surviving, in a way that offers hope to the people who join the community programmes.’
I cried as I wrote it. I have never seen myself as a role model, but I guess we’re all role models in one way or another. I’ve had people around me to help me when I needed it the most and I know that not everyone is that lucky. Maybe I can help to change that.
Pressing ‘send’ last night, desperately hoping that I would be offered the job and with Reggie’s head resting on my knee, I’d known that there wasn’t a choice. My life is here, for now, and I’m excited about that. My friends will come back and visit and I can drive to see them if they invite me. Mum’s happy for me to stay and Frankie keeps saying we’re more like housemates than mum and daughter. I think she’s right. I even have a relaxed relationship with Sammy now and at least I’ll have someone right here who can fix my laptop.
I hope things work out with Frankie. She makes me happy. We have our holiday with the girls to look forward to before we have to think about her moving away, and that is something I am definitely looking forward to.
Life is good. I am forever grateful that I can say that and mean it. It’s been a rollercoaster, that’s for sure, but with my best friend by my side, dribbling on my knee, I know I’m ready for whatever comes next.
Reggie & Me
Marie Yates
(Lodestone Books, 978-1-78279-723-4)
FINALIST WINTER 2014/2015 THE PEOPLE’S BOOK PRIZE
Reggie & Me is the first book in the Dani Moore Trilogy. Dani’s story is told through her diary in the wake of her rape and subsequent court case.
Having moved with her mum, Dani starts Year Eleven at a new school, facing various challenges that bring a renewed energy to face whatever is thrown at her and to carry on regardless. She realises that ‘normality’ is something that she can define herself, with the help of her dog Reggie and the people around her.
Reggie & Me is more than a story of survival, as the reader is taken on an inspiring journey of personal development, interweaved with tools that girls and young women can use to create the positive future they deserve.
Sammy & Me
Marie Yates
(Lodestone Books, 978-1-78535-502-8)
Dani Moore, a teenage rape survivor, embarks upon the next phase in her life as she starts Sixth Form College. She hopes that this will be the new start she has been desperate for, having had a difficult final year at school. With an unwelcome change at home, her friends busy with their own lives and difficult reminders of her past, Dani wonders where she can turn for help. With her rescue dog, Reggie, by her side and a lifeline in the form of a new friend, will Dani make it through another rollercoaster year?
Sammy & Me is the second book in the Dani Moore Trilogy.
About the Author
Marie Yates is a writer, speaker and social entrepreneur. She is a Director of Canine Perspective CIC, a social enterprise which was established due to the success of Reggie and Me. Marie’s passion for working with survivors and rescue dogs has created a global legacy utilising the human-canine bond.
Lodestone Books
YOUNG ADULT FICTION
Lodestone Books offers a broa
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If you have enjoyed this book, why not tell other readers by posting a review on your preferred book site. Recent bestsellers from Lodestone Books are:
AlphaNumeric
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