The F Team

by Rawah Arja

  ‘If your principal is saying that you boys are only known for being rough, then why not flip that image on its head and surprise everyone?’ she said, tapping my forehead. ‘Do a slam with the boys. Stop letting other people tell your stories and use your own voice to tell them yourself. BPS could be the perfect place, not just because it’s in Bankstown, in this community, but also because BPS gets heaps of attention.’

  ‘No way,’ I said, shaking my head. ‘Like, it was cool with you the other night, but trying to convince the boys to do something like this would be impossible.’

  She looked sideways at me. ‘What would you have said were your chances to get me to go on a date with you when we first met?’

  I knew what she was implying, but I couldn’t help but grin cockily at her. ‘Pretty solid, I’d say. I’m irresistible.’

  She rolled her eyes, but I could see the smile tugging at her lips. She scrolled through all the videos on the BPS page and showed me the thousands of likes and comments on each clip. ‘If someone inside your school is sending videos trying to ruin your school, then wouldn’t it make sense to counter the narrative with something like this and leave people speechless?’

  ‘Even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t know what to say,’ I argued. ‘Plus, why do you care? It’s not your school.’

  She opened her notebook and unfolded the list of things I had written about my school. ‘I care because it’s my community too. I don’t want Jehad to be limited by other people’s prejudices about your school, or be written off as a waste of space.’

  If I had thought nothing she could say would make me like her more, I was dead wrong.

  ‘I’ll help you,’ she persisted. ‘Just tell a few of the boys you’re close with and we can work on something. The next BPS slam is in a couple of weeks. We can film your performance and post it online.’

  I got where Jamila was coming from, but I had to come up with a way to convince Ibby and PJ to take part.

  Fourth period. Science. I had explained Jamila’s idea to Mr Ahmed, who agreed to let me have a chat to the Wolf Pack in the empty classroom across from the lab. Huss had no choice but to participate since we were all in the same class. It was the first time we had been face to face since the mess at the game last Friday, and I knew I’d have to work extra hard to convince him to join in on the slam.

  To my surprise, Ibby and PJ agreed without any hesitation.

  ‘Yeah, bro, anything to help the school,’ PJ said, before adding slyly, ‘And if it means we finally get to meet your girl.’

  ‘Is she pretty?’ Ibby asked. ‘Is she the one that drew on your arm?’

  ‘I’m serious,’ I said, pulling my shirtsleeves down. ‘Jamila made some good points. I think this would really help to show another side of us, especially when that snitch keeps releasing shitty videos.’

  PJ nodded thoughtfully. ‘You know, we could post ourselves on Lee’s YouTube channel, too. I know it’s only gaming stuff, but who cares. He’s got heaps of followers.’

  Ibby’s eyes widened. ‘Oh my God. You know what we can also do. I can post my cooking videos, too. Would that help change our image?’

  ‘That’s actually really good, Ibby,’ I said, impressed. ‘PJ, you can post some of your music stuff, too. We could make this into a whole thing to overhaul our image, get all the boys to post all the cool stuff they do in and around school, all the creative stuff, the sports, all of it.’

  I waited for Huss to say something. He stayed slumped over in the corner, scrolling through his phone.

  ‘So, you in, Huss?’ I asked. ‘Or do you still wanna chuck a sook about Aaron and the game?’

  Ibby sucked a breath through his teeth. ‘Yallah, easy.’

  Huss looked up, his eyes sharp. ‘Why don’t you post videos with your best friend Aaron, stabbing me in the back?’

  Ibby and PJ moved away to give us space.

  ‘What are you talking about?’ I asked. ‘You were playing shit and so as co-captain I did what was best for the team. I would’ve done it to anyone.’

  ‘Whatever, man,’ he said, walking to the door.

  I blocked him. ‘I’ve tried calling you and messaging you, but you’re just choosing to stay being a sook.’ I had wanted to go in with a positive attitude and try to figure things out with Huss, but seeing him so blasé about our whole situation made me angry. It was like he really didn’t care. ‘I’m trying to talk to you about how we can help, and all you can do is talk about how you got put on by Aaron. Stop thinking about yourself for a second, and pull your head out of your arse.’

  ‘Tozz feek and move out of my way, Tariq.’

  ‘I’m not moving until you admit that you threw the game on purpose.’

  ‘Khalas, boys,’ Ibby said, trying to calm the situation. ‘You’ve been brothers for a long time. Don’t let this ruin it.’

  ‘We’re the Wolf Pack,’ PJ added.

  ‘You’re believing the Yahooda over me?’ Huss hissed, walking closer to me.

  ‘Well, then, what’s the truth?’ I raised my voice. ‘I believed you, and you fucked up a simple kick, I don’t believe you and you stop talking to me altogether. I don’t know what to do with you anymore.’

  ‘How about coming to check up on your so-called brother and see if he’s alright?’ he said, his voice shaking. ‘You knew about Big Haji and how much she means to me and you still didn’t care to come over.’

  I reeled in shock.

  ‘What? You think Feda didn’t tell me that you knew? You made time for everyone but me!’ The anger drained from his face, leaving a terrible sadness.

  ‘But I called you,’ I protested. ‘You didn’t answer.’

  ‘So? Come over,’ he said. ‘You had no trouble going to Aaron’s place or going to something in Bankstown with that Jamila girl.’

  How did he know about BPS?

  ‘I know you’re upset with me. I get it. But the situation with Aaron is your fault. You took it too far.’

  He gave me the coldest look I’d ever seen, and left.

  ‘Probably not the best time to mention Aaron’s name,’ Ibby said.

  I banged on the bedroom door until Feda opened it, her eyes bloodshot, papers and books strewn all over the ground.

  ‘Why’d you tell him?’ I demanded. ‘Why’d you tell Huss that I knew about Big Haji?’

  ‘Not now, Tariq,’ she said, trying to close the door. I pushed it back open.

  ‘No. Now,’ I snapped. ‘Are you so angry with me that you wanna ruin my life because you’re miserable and lonely?’

  She stared at me for a few seconds. ‘You really are trying your hardest to be the worst person I know.’

  ‘Why did you tell him?’ I shouted.

  She closed her eyes like she had a headache. ‘Why didn’t you tell him you knew?’ She slammed the door. I stood there, fuming, when I heard Uncle Charlie calling my name from the yard. Everyone else must’ve been at work or out with Aunty Salma.

  I ignored him and walked into the kitchen, looking for something to eat and trying to breathe through my rage.

  ‘Tariq,’ he called again, walking in the back door, holding a few honey jars. ‘There is some –’

  ‘Don’t you start,’ I lashed out. ‘I’m not going to sell your dumb honey jars and embarrass myself, so stop asking me.’

  His eyes fell as I slammed the fridge door. ‘Tariq.’

  ‘Why won’t you leave me alone?’

  He lowered his head and walked to the oven and grabbed a plate of food covered in foil. ‘I stay back to make you food because no one here.’ He then went out with his honey jars, back into his shed. Even when my parents came home and called him for dinner, his door remained closed.

  Chapter 27

  The grass was definitely greener on the other side. The sports field at Aaron’s school was as big as our whole school, with a running track that surrounded the oval. His school was huge, with lots of new buildings, and buzzed with the noise of students hanging around in pock
ets before the morning bell.

  Mr Archie had told us in the car that morning that it was time for us to step outside our little bubble and see what life was like on the other side. ‘It’s part of life, lads,’ he said. ‘Got to go and meet people who are different. It’s good for the soul to be around others.’

  ‘Why? We have everything in Punchbowl,’ I said, watching the trees zoom past from the passenger seat. I wasn’t in the mood to do anything, let alone be in a car with Huss and going to see Aaron. I had slept on the living room couch the night before, slowly draining off my anger until all that was left was the bitter taste of regret on my tongue for the horrible things I had said to Uncle Charlie and Feda.

  Aunty Salma found me tossing and turning around midnight. ‘What’s wrong, habibi?’ she asked. She looked at me sadly when I gave her a brief version of the last twelve hours. ‘You were trying to make things up with your sister. What happened?’

  I had nothing to say.

  ‘Did you not wonder why she was crying?’

  ‘No.’

  She clicked her tongue. ‘One of her patients died today. A baby.’

  I froze in shock.

  ‘Her job, it’s really tough, Tariq. She cares for so many people, works all hours, doing her best to save people. And you keep referring to her being unwed like that is something for you to hold over her head. You’re a little boy trying to make a strong woman – your sister, who has been like a second mum to you – feel as though she’s not worth anyone’s love.’

  If she had slapped me hard across the face, she couldn’t have hurt me more. I had never thought about it that way, that I had been saying my sister didn’t deserve to be cared for.

  ‘And your khorloo? You know he once had a life outside of being your uncle,’ she continued. ‘And I know we fight sometimes, but there isn’t any place on Earth he wouldn’t go to make you and your siblings happy.’

  ‘What happened to him that we’re never allowed to talk about?’ I asked.

  ‘It’s not my place to say,’ she said. ‘But while you sit here and complain about how hard your life is, you can be sure that nothing you have experienced will ever be as difficult as what your uncle has gone through.’

  ‘Feda was right,’ I said. ‘I am the worst person in the world. I feel like I’m underwater, and every time I come up for air, something or someone pushes me back down again.’

  ‘The only thing pushing you down is the choices you make, nephew. You are about to be a man. The time for these childish excuses is over. We have talked and talked and talked about you trying to do better. When will you actually start being better?’

  I stared at my aunty and thought about the assumptions I had made about her over these past few weeks. That she was vain, shallow, judgemental. Even if some of these things were true about her, she was much more than I had been so quick to judge her as. She had helped me with Jamila, and now she was continuing to help me see how I might be a better person.

  She laughed to herself, accurately guessing what I was thinking. ‘Your botox aunty is more than her injections, right?’

  Now, in the morning, I felt the bags under my eyes as I waited in Aaron’s school office with the other boys. Huss and I hadn’t said anything to each other and the only interaction we had had was a morning handshake that was too ingrained a habit to break even now. Dad taught us long ago that the handshake and the greeting of Salaam was for God, and that under no circumstances was it acceptable to refuse to greet your brother.

  ‘There’s girls here?’ Ibby asked, staring out the office window. ‘And they play footy?’

  ‘It’s probably OzTag,’ PJ said.

  ‘There are no tags,’ Mr Archie explained. ‘Girls play tackle too.’

  We didn’t believe him at first, but then on the sound of the whistle, we watched, gobsmacked, as the girls picked each other up and drove each other into the ground.

  ‘They’ve won back-to-back finals,’ we heard a man say proudly from behind us. ‘Mr Bennett,’ he said, shaking our hands. He joined us at the window. ‘They’d give any male team a run for their money.’

  Mr Bennett was Mr Archie’s contact at the school, and organised what was needed for the Shire boys. ‘The boys will be here in just a minute, and then we can get started. We’ve organised a tour for you, followed by some lunch.’

  The tour took us past a pool, an indoor gym with a basketball court, a two-storey library, footy fields and Ibby’s dream kitchen. It was hard not to look like village cousins from Lebanon as we went through room after air-conditioned room.

  ‘So I’ve got a few ideas for tomorrow’s game,’ Aaron said as we made our way to the hall where lunch was being served. ‘I was watching a few games that my dad taped of me, and there are some sick plays.’

  I could see Huss watch us from the corner of his eye, but he turned away when he caught me looking at him.

  ‘He’s still angry, hey,’ Aaron said, noticing the exchange.

  ‘Wanna know the weirdest part? I defended you and that just set him off,’ I said. I wanted to avoid Aaron as much as possible, but the more I thought about it, the more I knew that the problem was between Huss and me. Aaron was just the catalyst.

  We sat and ate and Ibby mentioned his cooking video idea to Lee.

  ‘Put them on your channel, Nintendo,’ he pleaded. ‘I know it’s about gaming and that other stuff you Asians do, but we got another bad letter for our school and we need help.’

  Aaron looked at me for confirmation.

  ‘It’s true,’ I said. ‘We’re also trying to do this poetry slam thing because there’s a snitch leaking videos and it’s only adding –’

  ‘– to your bad image,’ he finished, nodding. ‘It’s smart. If they show a bad video, then you can combat that with a good one.’

  Riley moved from the end of the table where he had been talking to Huss and came and sat with me. ‘I think I can help you out with those leaked videos. A friend of mine who’s way into computers and stuff can pretty much trace anything. I can ask her to take a stab at it.’

  ‘Tell Tariq what you told me,’ Aaron said to Riley. ‘About Hunter.’

  Riley moved closer. ‘A neighbour of ours said they may have a video about the graffiti.’

  ‘Seriously? Have you seen it?’

  ‘They didn’t get any faces because it was too dark,’ Aaron said. ‘But they did get a number plate.’

  ‘So, what are you guys waiting for?’ I asked. ‘Take it to the cops.’

  Riley cleared his throat. ‘I was thinking that we hold onto it until we’ve talked about what we could do with it.’

  I looked at Aaron, confused.

  ‘Just hear Riley out,’ he said.

  ‘Blackmail?’ I asked.

  Riley shook his head. ‘No, not exactly. I don’t want to get the police involved. Hunter can say that he wasn’t in the car and then he’ll just come at me harder.’

  ‘Then what?’ I asked. ‘What do you wanna do?’

  Riley looked towards Huss. ‘He’s a mastermind at this sort of stuff. I wanted to ask him if he had any ideas.’

  ‘We can talk about it at my house on Saturday,’ Aaron said. ‘We need to get Hunter without creating too much noise and bringing attention on us. Especially with your school situation.’

  He then stood up to address the whole team. ‘Since I promised Ibby a look at Dad’s collection, I was wondering if you all wanted to hang at mine on Saturday. We can talk footy and strategy.’

  I did want to teach Hunter a lesson with as little evidence leading back to us as possible. And they were right, nobody was better at revenge strategies than Huss.

  Mr Bennett walked into the hall followed by the two girls’ footy teams we had watched earlier. They challenged us to a game of footy.

  PJ and Ibby laughed as if they’d made a great joke.

  ‘Dude, they literally have never lost a game,’ Matt said. ‘We train with them at lunch sometimes.’

  Aaron nodde
d. ‘He’s right. They’re really good.’

  ‘Really good’ was probably the understatement of the year. They ran through us like no one was on the field, and when we asked them how they still remained undefeated, they said it was simple.

  ‘We play for each other, not ourselves,’ Cheryne their captain said. ‘A machine can only run smoothly if all the parts are in sync and are working together.’

  I looked at Huss, who looked at me. Our machine was broken and would never run smoothly if we stayed like this.

  Chapter 28

  ‘I think I know what we could do with the slam in a few weeks’ time,’ Jamila told me as we sat between the shelves at the back of the library, away from the other pairs. ‘But the audience will only buy it if you guys dig deep and show how you really feel. The outside world needs to connect with you on a human level and see past the stereotypes of the Angry Arab or the gang affiliations in Punchbowl.’

  Watching her speak so passionately about our school and what we could do to keep it open gave me hope. We swapped numbers, and she said that if I had any ideas, I could message her.

  ‘Don’t get too excited, it’s for the slam,’ she said.

  I smiled. ‘Of course, the slam.’

  I saved her contact under ‘No damsel in distress’.

  Things with Jamila were moving forward so well, but when it came to everyone else, it felt like I was mired in the mud. I stayed awake for hours every night playing out in my mind the different ways I could try to fix things.

  We had a close game against Team B on Friday. Huss and I shook hands before the game and even made some small talk, which felt like a huge step forward.

  ‘I’ll come over tonight and see Big Haji,’ I said as we strapped on our boots.

  ‘She’s doing better. Been in and out seeing the doctors,’ he said. ‘She keeps asking about you.’

  He left as soon as he saw Aaron walking our way.

  PJ had some slips during the game and lost the ball a few times. I had to keep him calm and reassure him that his mistakes were simple to fix and that he needed to keep his cool. If PJ was angry, it only made him play worse, so I needed him to get back on track and work with Ibby to push us forward. That didn’t go down well with Huss who pointed out that I was a lot softer on PJ than I was on him.