“First I would like to say, I wish we were doing this in person, but I’ll take hearing your voice. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my affiliation with your family. There’s no excuse for not telling you. The first day I saw you in the shop, Silvy, I wanted you, and all I can say is that I wish I could go back in time, things would be different. If you let us have a chance, baby, it could be so good. Can I please come over? We are adults, Silvy. We should talk in person.”
Jaxson sounds sincere, but he also sounds sexy. I know talking face to face will only lead to us jumping into bed, and nothing will get solved. I’m not sure if Jaxson understands the importance of not lying to the person you love. He still hasn’t told me why he didn’t tell me about knowing my family.
“Jax, if I allow you to come over there will be no sex, none.”
“When I say I miss you, Silvia, sex is not the first thing that comes to mind.”
“But it does come to mind.”
“Yes, of course. I’m a man who loves that body of yours.”
I blush, even though I’m alone and he can’t see me. The sex between us was amazing. Even though it was only that one night, it was a long, satisfying night.
“Okay, Jax. You can come over so we can discuss this further, but only talking.”
“It sounds like you’re saying that to yourself more than to me.”
“When should I expect you?”
“I’ll be there in half an hour. I can’t wait to talk to you in person.”
“Okay, see you soon, Jax.”
As soon as I hang up the cell, I rush to the shower, stripping off my pajamas. I climb into the shower and wash away the day. I should have done it when I first got home, but I didn’t; now, I’m taking a two-minute shower. Once I’m out, I slip on a pair of leggings and a casual shirt. I brush my teeth, removing traces of chocolate and almonds.
I rush downstairs and pull out some wine and the bourbon I bought for him. I try to calm myself as I prepare to see him again. The only thing I’m hoping for is the truth. I deserve the truth, and anything else he needs to share.
When I’m about to take a seat, my intercom buzzes.
“Ms Demetri, Mr. Montgomery is asking to see you.”
“Send him up, Simi, thank you.”
I walk over to the door, and soon I hear a knock. A few deep breaths, and then I open the door. I have to clench my teeth, so my mouth doesn’t fall open, He looks so good. He’s dressed in a pair of jeans and a New York Yankees shirt, his hair is a little messy but fits him perfectly, his eyes are hypnotic, and I swallow hard trying to not let on how sexy he looks.
“Good evening, Jax,” I say, waving him in. “Come in, say your piece and leave.”
He stops close to me, and before I can even think about rejecting him, his lips touch my cheek. The kiss is gentle, yet full of heat – or it could be me that’s full of heat!
“You look amazing, Silvy. You smell amazing, too. Thank you for giving us a chance.”
“I didn’t say I would give you a chance,” I reply. “I’m saying that I deserve an explanation.”
Jaxson walks in, and I follow him, forgetting it’s my home. We end up in the kitchen, where I have the bourbon and wine waiting. He doesn’t say anything, just pours me a glass of wine and himself a glass of bourbon.
“So, are we talking by the fireplace?”
“You’re talking,” I tell him. “I’ll be listening. I don’t have anything to explain. You do.”
Once we are sitting in the chairs watching the fire, I start to think it was a bad idea to have Jax here. Slowly I bring the glass up to my nose and smell my wine. I take a small sip, wanting to keep a clear head.
“Jaxson, why didn’t you tell me that you worked in the same circle as my family?” My question is straightforward. I’m not one for beating around the bush, and Jaxson is in the world I want nothing to do with, he understands my blunt approach.
“I usually never tell people what I do for a living, Silvy.”
I persist. “I’m not going to play games, Jax. You knew who I was, so why didn’t you tell me?”
Jax looks at me and says nothing, only heaves a long sigh. Finally, he answers me.
“I didn’t want my work to get in the way.”
As he says this, I find I can believe him. After all, who wants to say they deal with all sorts of people, including those who operate outside the law?
“After we started seeing each other more often, why didn’t you tell me then?”
“I should have, but I didn’t, and for that I’m sorry.”
Should I accept his apology? My heart says yes, but my mind says no. Trusting people is not my strongest quality. I’ve been in relationships before that were connected to my family, and it never ends well for me. I’m always the one whose feelings are hurt, always the one who ends up alone.
“Yes, you should have, so now that I know who you are, is there anything else I should know?”
He takes a sip of bourbon and gazes into the fire.
“Silvia, the real question is, do you and I have a chance? I’m here because I want to be with you, not to discuss things I can’t change.”
As I look at Jax, I find myself wishing desperately that I could go back in time and never have met this man. I opened up to him, thought I could be myself with him, and now I see that I was opening up to a pretender. That hurts me, and it makes me angry, I've never cried so much over a man since I was a teen, and even then it didn't hurt as badly.
And now he stands here expecting me to forget and move on, as if he had never lied to me. I should tell him to leave and be done with him, but my heart betrays me. I feel something for him, and it's much more than lust, or just liking him, yet I don't think it's love, though it could develop into something that is love. But if he thinks I will ever be able to trust him again, I don't think I can. I may want to be with Jax, but being a fool is something I will not allow myself.
I watch him silently, and even though I want to hate him, I don't think I can.
His eyes are on me, and I try to look away, not wanting to seem vulnerable. Jaxson wants an answer at this moment, and I can’t give him that right now.
“Jax, do you want me to ignore your deceit? Because that’s what it seems like you’re asking me to do.”
“I’m not saying ignore anything. Just give me a chance.”
“Jax, you had every opportunity, to be honest with me, but you didn’t. Trust has to be earned, and if you think I can trust you again, you’re wrong.”
“I know, but –” Jax tries to speak, but I’m on a roll.
“But nothing, Jax. Love is not deceitful, and I’m not sure I can get past that.”
“No! Be angry, call me a fucking asshole, inconsiderate, or whatever will help you get over my fuckup, but don’t call it quits, don’t push me away. I’m not perfect – far from it – but I can tell you that I will try to do better.”
My heavens, Jax has just said the most beautiful thing a man has ever said to me. I could jump on him at this moment, but I don’t.
He sets his glass down and rises, coming to stand right in front of me. He takes my hand and gently pulls me to my feet.
“Say it, Silvia, call me an asshole, a total fuckup, say it.”
I try to pull away, but he doesn’t allow it. He comes nose to nose with me, his lips barely touching mine. He says it again. “Say it, Silvy, get it out.”
“You’re an asshole.” My voice is barely a whisper, but he hears me.
“Again.”
“You’re an asshole.” The air in here is getting thin, my heart is racing, and I want to kiss him like my next breath depends on it.
“Yes, I am, but I’m your asshole.”
His lips touch mine and a shiver goes down my back. With our eyes open, we begin to kiss slowly, sensual and deep. I can’t hold back any longer. My hands are in his thick hair, as I’m kissing him more roughly. We are all hands, touching and grabbing everything, and though it’s hard, I
pull back from the kiss.
“Jax, I don’t want to sleep with you,” I pant.
“Your hard nipples and wet pussy say different,” he says, trying to kiss me again.
“Jax, we should take it slow.”
He leans his head back and looks into my eyes, then steps away.
“Okay, Silvy, if that’s what you want. I will respect that, but I must say we are both adults.”
I suck in a deep breath and take my empty glass to the kitchen, he follows and watches me.
“Do you want something to eat? It will help with all the alcohol you poured.”
“Yes, do you have cake? I just had a birthday.”
Not believing my ears, I turn and stare at him, waiting for him to laugh or say he’s just kidding, but he doesn’t.
“When was your birthday?”
“It’s not a big deal,” he smiles. “I have them every year.”
“Jax, I totally forgot, it was yesterday, right? Happy birthday.”
His eyes roam my body, and I go back to the food.
“Well, there’s no cake, but I have pie in here. Do you like apple pie?”
He starts laughing, then he raises his brow for me to catch on. Then I remember the movie. I start laughing as well.
“If it’s warm apple pie I’ll eat it up.”
“Jax, you’re so nasty, and for that, you might not get any ice cream.”
“Oh, this keeps getting better and better.” He chuckles.
He’s going to keep making jokes, so I pull out the apple pie and ice cream. I make us each a bowl of warm apple pie and vanilla ice cream, and we eat at the counter in silence. As I’m putting the spoon to my mouth, out of the corner of my eye, I see that he’s done and is watching me.
“Jaxson, please don’t watch me eat, it makes me nervous.”
He laughs, and once I’m done, I place both our bowls in the sink. Then I wonder if he thinks he’s staying the night.
“So, I know you don’t want to move fast, but can I stay with you tonight? No sex, of course. I already know.”
I just stare at him with my mouth open, because he’s actually serious. I’m not sure we can stay the night with no sex.
“Jax, I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
He starts toward my bedroom. I follow behind him, curious to see how far he’s going to go. I stand at the door and watch him undress down to his boxers and climb into bed. He waves for me to get in with him. I shake my head no, but he comes and takes my hand. Once we are at the bed, he lifts me, places me in bed and climbs in behind me.
“Just let me hold you, Silvy. I promise to be gone when you wake. Call it my birthday present.”
His birthday present? I just gave him pie and ice cream, but I’m tired, and it doesn’t seem like he’s going anywhere.
“Okay, Jax.”
I close my eyes with the heat of his breath on my neck and drift off to sleep.
CHAPTER 5
JAXSON
Damn, she feels good against me. She’s sleeping peacefully, wrapped in my arms, and my cock is hard as a brick. I pull away some, hoping that will help, but it doesn’t. I drop a soft kiss on her neck and slip out of bed. Picking up my clothes, I walk into the hall, closing the door behind me.
Once I’m dressed, I call Randal. I told him not to return until daylight.
“Are you in front of the building?” I ask.
“I’m down a little way, couldn’t stay parked there any longer.”
“That’s fine, I’m coming out. Be there in a few.”
We disconnect, and before I go I decide to leave Silvia a note so she won’t think I left without saying goodbye. Even though we didn’t have sex, I feel great just knowing she’s not going to throw me away. I know she didn’t say that, but she did make it clear that she still wants me.
Once I’m out in the fresh air, I stretch my arms above my head and look to my left. Randal is standing against the car. Good feelings about Silvia and me bubble up, and I feel a smile break over my face.
“You look happy, good night?”
“Randal, a gentleman never kisses and tells.”
He chuckles and opens the door for me. On the way home, I look at the file of my new client that’s been sent to me by one of my I.T. specialists. Mr. Fields is a busy guy, and his son is the real problem. Kalvin Fields has been causing trouble since he was a teen. Nothing as serious as rape, though. I close the file and open Logan’s email to me. He has pictures of me entering Silvy’s place yesterday, and of me leaving. Damn, he’s good. I didn’t even see him when I walked out front. Thank God he’s on my team, or this could end in an entirely different way.
When I arrive home, I stop by the kitchen to let Lori know I’m back. We smile at each other, and I go shower and dress, to get ready for a day of work. Today I will definitely be eating my breakfast.
During breakfast, my cell rings. It’s Blair.
“Good morning, sweetheart.”
“You sound happy this morning! Did you have sex last night?”
I stuff a piece of bacon in my mouth. Still chewing, I try to speak.
“Blair, are you still going to give me that drink this weekend, for my birthday?”
I wonder if Silvia will go out with me this weekend. I can kill two birds with one stone. Let Blair see how much I adore Silvy, and show Silvy a good time.
“Yes, I would love that, Jax. Do you want to go where there’s dancing too?”
“You know your friend so well, let’s add dancing to it.”
“Okay, Jax, I’m looking forward to catching up. I’ll have the details of where and when sent to you.”
“Thank you.”
As I’m reveling in the fact that things are getting back on track, that’s when I think of Sam. My hand shakes with the pain of knowing she’s gone forever. She would love to be going dancing and drinking with me. Sam loved to have fun.
When I think of her dying alone, it rips me open. All my plans for the future went away when she passed. I didn’t get to say goodbye or try to talk her out of it. I was forced to survive without her, and now, when there’s a chance of some happiness for me, it feels like I’m betraying her. I’m her big brother; if someone wrongs her, it’s my job to make it right. I’m not going to abandon my plan completely, though. I’ll use a different way to get back at him.
The sad part is he doesn’t know that he caused her to do this, to say goodbye to life. There’s no other way than to take something precious from him, anything to give me peace, and I won’t have peace until he knows pain like I do. I won’t use Silvy any more. She’s become something special to me.
Determined, I pull myself together and finish my breakfast in silence. Once I’m done, I meet Randal in the garage and head off to the office to fix problems.
When I arrive in the office, Nora follows me into my office with a stack of files.
“Nora, are we scheduled for an audit or something?” I ask, removing my suit coat and taking a seat.
“No, Mr. Montgomery, today is Wednesday. We need to go through files that you would like archived, thrown out or put back on the list to be reviewed.”
I look at her, trying to remember, and then yes, it comes back. Thanks to Nora being so efficient, I will be on track.
“Ok, have a seat and let’s get started.”
After hours of going through files, I decide it is time to break. Nora slips her shoes back on and leaves to go relax and get a snack.
I decide to ask Silvia out this weekend. When I pick up my cell, I see I have two missed texts from her.
Jaxson thank you for leaving me a note. I would have been concerned.
Are you going to respond?
Quickly I respond to her, hoping she doesn’t think I’m avoiding her.
I’m sorry, been really busy this morning and didn’t notice my cell, but I wondered if you would accompany me out this weekend for dancing.
She dings me right back.
I’m not sure about dancing, th
at’s not one of my strengths.
Come on, I love to dance, and I don’t care if you will step on my feet say yes.
Send me the information, and I’ll think about it, Jax I’m still deciding about you and me.
The decision is made you beautiful lady, let me start making this up to you with a dance.
Like I said, you pushy man send me the information.
I will soon, you sexy lady.
I am smiling to myself at the progress I’m making, but there’s one thing she doesn’t know yet – Sam, and why she’s dead.
Pushing that into the corner of my mind, I get up and decide to take a walk.
Outside, I have to wave off Randal, who looks upset to see me walk off. As I walk around, people-watching and enjoying life, I wonder if I’m going to ever forgive Nox.
I stop at a food truck for coffee and a fresh donut and continue walking. I’m not sure how, but soon I end up in front of the building that holds the foundation I created in Sam’s name for suicide prevention. Standing outside the building drinking my coffee, I contemplate going inside. The problem is, even though it exists because of my money, I’ve never set one foot in the building. I haven’t even seen the inside; I could have got Randal to come and take pictures, but somehow it never seemed right.
I sit on the bench outside the door and watch as people come and go. Not a huge amount of people, but enough that it makes me happy they are seeking help. I only wish Sam had sought help.
Then a young girl walks up to the door and hesitates. She’s short and curvy with dark brown hair and looks in her early twenties. She looks around, sees the bench I’m sitting on and comes to sit with me.
She looks at the door again and goes to get up, but I begin to speak.
“You know, I’m glad this building is here now.”
She looks at me and there’s sadness all over her face. Her eyes are red as if she’s recently been crying.
“I don’t need their help, no one can help me.”
The Fidelity World: Revenge (Kindle Worlds Novella) Page 3