The Jasmine Project

by Meredith Ireland

  Mom

  I’ve suggested a hitman, Mama, but I’ve been overruled

  Dad

  Violence isn’t the answer, mi amore. Even if it’s tempting

  Aunt Minnie

  We have to do something

  Cousin Wesley

  I don’t get it. Why are we triaging this? Just tell Jaz and let her dump the jerk

  Cari

  I think the fear is that even if Jaz knows she’ll stay with him because she’s never understood she’s worth more

  (Another thirty seconds of silence.)

  Cousin Wylan

  Well, damn

  CHAPTER THREE

  I scan the inside of Tijuana Outpost. It’s the kind of place where you order at a counter, grab your tray, and take a seat at questionably clean tables. An enormous array of hot sauces decorates the back wall, and funky-colored string lights crisscross the ceiling.

  Paul sits with his headphones covering part of his wavy black hair. There’s a half-eaten burrito in front of him along with a mostly drained sweet tea. I beeline for him, and I’m practically a foot in front of his face before he notices me. His hazel eyes meet mine.

  “Oh, hey,” he says.

  I lean down and kiss his cheek. He’s never been a fan of PDA, but he tolerates it. He wears the same cologne as he did in freshman year, and the scent floods me with warm memories. His neck would smell like this when he’d meet me in the high school stairwell to sneak a kiss. Or when I jumped in his arms after he won a stuffed bear at Dave & Buster’s.

  I linger next to him. I’m not sure if I should order, or if we’re going to leave, or if maybe he got something for me, too.

  “You already have your food?” I ask.

  He sighs, pauses his song, and removes his Beats headphones. He wants to be a music producer, and I know he’s focused, but it’ll only take a second to talk.

  Paul turns all his attention to me, and it’s like being bathed in sunshine. He was the first guy to really see me, to notice me. But lately his eyes don’t soften when they meet mine. Not the way they used to.

  “Yeah,” he says. “I was hungry. And…” He checks his phone. “Don’t we normally have dinner at six?”

  I stare at the concrete floor. “Yes. I’m sorry I’m late.”

  It’s 6:07.

  “Okay,” he says. He has a thing about people being punctual—people being me. He’s never said a word about his friends showing up whenever. But I know waiting alone embarrasses him. I should’ve gotten out of the car sooner. This is on me.

  “Did you order something for me, too?” I ask. “Or should I…” I do a weird miming gesture between me and the counter. I feel ridiculous, so I stop.

  His forehead knits. “Why would I have ordered for you? I didn’t know what you’d want… or when you’d get here.” He mutters the last part.

  I order the same thing every time, but okay, I am late. And cold burritos are nasty. It’s not like there’s a skillet where I could reheat it in here. I turn and step away.

  “Jaz,” he says.

  My heart skips when he says my name. Like it did freshman year when he’d call for me in the hall and jog to catch up. Like when he’d wave me down to sit with him and his football boys at lunch in sophomore year. Like when he’d thread his fingers in mine after he scored the winning field goal during junior year—before he quit this past fall.

  “Yes?” I hold my breath.

  “They have a new skinny burrito on the menu. You may want to check it out.”

  I stare at him, but he shrugs and takes out a twenty.

  I don’t know what I was waiting for, but that wasn’t it. Still, I smile.

  “Maybe,” I say.

  I leave his money on the table and walk to the counter, where a line has formed. I should’ve ordered when I came in. I can’t remember the last time Paul got something for me I didn’t specifically ask for. Maybe junior year when he brought in bagels from Panera. I was so charmed, I ate mine painfully slowly, savoring every bite. Later I found out he had two only because they’d messed up his order, but still. He could’ve given the extra to anyone and he chose me.

  My phone chimes and I slip it out of my purse. It’s a screenshot of a flight itinerary from my best friend. June Tam and I have been inseparable since her parents moved to Winter Park in the third grade. I don’t know what I’m going to do when she goes to Emory this fall. It’s yet another thing happening soon that I refuse to think about.

  But maybe because she’s moving on, or maybe because I’d had three spiked seltzers, or maybe it was that she’d been talking about spending a semester abroad, but I wound up telling her how I’d like to go to Paris. I even let it slip that I dream about cooking professionally there—the birthplace of fine cuisine. I like to blame the alcohol, but maybe dreams that big refuse to stay bottled.

  I regretted it as soon as she set fare alerts on her phone—i.e., that night. And she constantly forwards them to me because she’s the worst.

  No matter what, I can’t help but look at the info. This one is the best deal yet—$280 one-way from Orlando. I have seven times that saved from birthday money, tutoring, and slinging fro-yo at Berry Plum. I count my savings all the time, and it’ll be minus this burrito dinner, but it doesn’t matter since it’s just a fantasy. I might as well dream of being the first astronaut on Mars or the first five-foot-tall Korean girl in the NBA. Becoming a chef and cooking in Paris takes a whole lot of things I’m not.

  My phone dings again.

  JT" in a circle"/>

  June

  Under $300! I’d chip in a hundred and Emily would too. $80 total from you.

  You have to go

  Not going to happen

  Why not?

  Bc I belong here. My life is here. Plus Paul and I are moving in together and I start Valencia in August

  Those are all horrible reasons

  ?

  It’s your dream, Jaz

  By the way: Never get drunk and tell your best friend your secret ambition, because they’ll remember it. And bring it up later. Constantly.

  I put my phone away.

  A sigh escapes my chest and it’s the heavy kind. I shouldn’t feel it, though. I’m blessed to have the life I do. My real life. Not a useless dream. How many people have a loving family, graduate high school with honors, get a full academic scholarship to community college, and will soon move in with the love of their life? I need my savings for my future, not to fly overseas for a fantasy.

  Yet every time I push Paris away, this sadness rises up. I tamp it down because it doesn’t make sense. Every reason I gave June is a great one. There’s no need to throw my life into chaos with a one-way ticket to France. Not to mention that I’d disappoint my family, especially my mom, who expects me to follow in her footsteps. Besides which, even the thought of leaving Central Florida makes me want to puke. The closest I’ve come to a solo adventure was driving to Winter Park High alone when Davey had the flu this winter. Transatlantic it was not.

  The bottom line is, I refuse to risk losing what I have to reach out for something I’m not.

  I glance at Paul, who’s texting on his phone. What I do have is a solid life ahead of me. I’ll go to Valencia, then transfer to UCF’s nursing program. Nursing is a good profession. It may not be my dream, but it’s reliable and something I can actually do. Mom has been a nurse for twenty-five years, and she’s provided us with what we need. It’s good and that’s good enough for me. If I’m lucky, I can vacation in Paris one day, even save enough to eat at fine-dining restaurants—eventually.

  “Next,” the counter person calls.

  I step forward.

  “Oh, hey, Jasmine,” Gus says with a smile. We see him every Friday. “Don’t you look pretty.”

  “Hey, Gus,” I say. “Still trolling for tips, I see. Are you having a good night?”

  He laughs. “So far. Thanks. You?”

  “Great. Really great.” Again, I feel like I’m acting. I force
myself to smile.

  “What’ll it be? The usual?”

  “No, I’ll um…”

  I look at Paul one more time. So many girls wanted to date him over the years, and somehow he picked me. Somehow I have one of the handsomest guys in my school as my boyfriend.

  While I’m staring, Paul looks up and grins. I remember the smile on his lips when I talked to him for the very first time during the cooking club bake sale. He took a bite of my brownies and a wide smile lit his face. He looked right at me and told me they were amazing. That I was amazing. A burst of forgotten happiness makes me smile back.

  I face Gus. “Do you guys have a skinny burrito now?”

  His pierced eyebrows knit. “We do. It’s chicken breast, beans, lettuce, salsa, and a low-carb tortilla. But… you don’t want the usual?”

  Solid question. “Just, you know, just in the mood to try something new,” I say brightly.

  “Um, okay.”

  He rings me up, and I can’t help feeling this is wrong, but I take my cup and go to the fountain to get a Diet Coke.

  I hate Diet Coke.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  DAVEY’S UNWIELDY FAMILY GROUP TEXT

  MAY 18

  We told her last night

  Aunt Tammy

  What’d she say??

  Uncle Steve

  How’d she take it?

  Cousin Mabel

  She dumped him, right?

  Cousin Crystal

  She didn’t mention breaking up with Paul in the cousins' group chat.…

  Cousin Wesley

  How can you even keep track of all the messages in there?

  Mom

  She didn’t break up with him. They’re still dating

  Aunt Minnie

  What?!

  Cari

  Long story, but Scumbag Paul convinced her that the IG girl was 'just a friend'

  Aunt Regina

  No

  Cousin Joe

  Man… I need better friends

  Cari

  But they’re not going to be exclusive this summer.

  Uncle Steve

  Come again?

  Cari

  He got Jaz to agree to see other people because 'moving in together is such a big step and they should both be sure'

  Aunt Minnie

  The nerve of this damn kid

  Cousin Amberlynn

  Why would she buy any of that?

  Cari

  Because she wants to believe it

  Cousin Wesley

  So she’s going to date other people? That’s good. She can meet a better guy

  Cari

  Except she won’t date anyone else. She said this is something he needs and that she understands. I said she should date too, but she shook her head

  Which is 'absolutely not' in Jaz speak

  Cousin Wylan

  So he’s going to be playing the field while she sits home?

  Cousin Madison

  I don’t get it. Why wouldn’t she date?

  Cari

  Well, she’s never dated anyone other than Paul. And you know how she is with new things

  Mom

  And she’s always thought he was the best and that she was lucky to have him. He convinced her of it

  Grandpa Yap

  She thinks the world of everyone else but not of herself. How can we get our Jaz to understand her worth?

  Mom

  That’s the million dollar question, Papa

  Cari

  She’s so much like Meghan last season—she’s a gem and doesn’t know it

  Okay, look, you don’t actually know the people on The Bachelor, even if you rope one onto your podcast every season. It’s still just a made up show

  Cari

  Paid for your dinner, ingrate. And it’s the perfect show. It’s The OG. There’s a reason it’s had so many seasons and imitators. People love love and someone finding it and themselves

  Aunt Regina

  How is this helping, guys?

  Cousin Wesley

  Yeah, what do we do? Set up The Bachelorette starring Jaz so she goes on dates?

  (Fifteen seconds pass.)

  Uncle Carlos

  I mean…

  Cousin Mabel

  Wait, bro, you’re on to something

  Cousin Wesley

  I’ve been up for 31 hours. I’m on to sleep deprivation

  Aunt Rosey

  Go to sleep, Wes. Turn your ringer off, baby

  Cousin Wesley

  It’s okay, Ma. I’m fine

  Aunt Rosey

  Did you eat a good breakfast?

  Cousin Wesley

  Geez, I’m a doctor. I’m fine

  Aunt Rosey

  You’re not a doctor yet. A simple yes or no will do

  Cousin Wesley

  Yes

  Cari

  Guys, wait, we could actually do this

  Aunt Kim

  A dating show?

  Cari

  Not a show, but something where guys come to her and she’d date them. She’d realize she has options, and see that she shouldn’t settle for anyone

  Grandpa Yap

  A little Jasmine project. I like it

  Uncle Steve

  Exactly

  Cousin Teagan

  This could be really great for her… if she’d do it

  Aunt Tammy

  I love my girl but I don’t see her going for a dating contest. She’s our shy, night-blooming Jasmine

  Cousin Crystal

  You’re right, Momma. There’s no way she’ll say yes y’all

  Cari

  If we do it right, she wouldn’t have to know

  Uncle Steve

  How could that be?

  Cari

  Well, we’d be the ones to find the boys—do the casting, right? We’d be the ones inviting them to meet her. We’d just need to set up a situation where she wouldn’t know it was a contest

  Aunt Regina

  How would that work? Logistically

  Cari

  I’m not sure. We could definitely find guys, but I don’t know how we could get her to meet them. She pretty much just works, volunteers, and goes to school and even that’s over soon

  Mom

  Wait, the graduation party. We already have over a hundred people coming. She might not realize there were extra boys there

  Uncle Carlos

  It’s not a bad idea, Dee. Our family parties are pretty massive with the Aunties and Uncles, and neighbors. Even Steve and I wind up not knowing some people

  Aunt Jay

  That could work, but it’s so soon…

  Aunt Kim

  So the plan would be to find a bunch of boys and invite them and she’d pick?

  Cari

  I think the fewer options the better. Otherwise, she’d be overwhelmed and figure it out. We could vet and weed potentials and present her with a top five… or a top three

  Cousin Teagan

  I love this! I have a friend who’s been bugging me about my 'cute cousin'

  Cousin Joe

  Same and it’s gross

  Aunt Kim

  There’s an adorable boy who works at our bookstore! I’ve wanted to set him up with Jaz forever, but she was always with her boyfriend

  Aunt Minnie

  Ugh. 'That boy.' He needs to go. Immediately. I’m in for whatever gets rid of him

  Nonna

  Jasmine, my little Bachelorette

  Cari

  If we do this, we’d have to start looking tonight. The Bachelor takes months of prep and we’ll only have a week. Let’s focus on finding three boys that will be great matches for her

  Wait, this is all pretty half-baked. Is everyone good with this? Dad?

  Dad

  Well… I don’t like the idea of lying to Jaz

  Mom

  Remember when we caught her doing Paul’s homework two years ago and he almost broke up with her when she stopped? And she crie
d and begged us to let her help him with his term paper because he’d fail without her?

  Dad

  I’d almost forgotten

  Mom

  This may be our only chance to get him out of her life. If she moves in with him…

  Dad

  You’re right, mahal. If it gets Scumbag Paul out of the picture… without murder… yes. I think it might be okay

  Aunt Tammy

  I don’t know anyone offhand.… What should I do?

  Cari

  If you don’t have anyone in mind, let’s use social media to find contestants. Tell them we’re doing a local version of The Bachelorette, with a twist, but don’t use her name. We don’t need this getting back to her

  Cari, I don’t know. She could find out

  Cousin Joe

  How? She has the tech skills of an 80yo woman. No offense, Nonna

  Nonna

  Hey, I’m on here and she’s not

  Still

  Cousin Wesley

  I bet I can find someone before anyone else

  Bet? Bet what? How much?

  Cari

  If any of you think of a better idea, I’m all ears. Otherwise, let’s get to work!

  CHAPTER FIVE

  I’m in my bedroom getting ready for work, and it’s hard to remember to breathe. Sometimes I can fool myself into thinking things are normal—that it’s just another day—but other times I know my world has cracked in two. It’s been like this since I came home from Burrito Friday and Cari and Davey told me about a post they saw on Instagram.

  It was Paul with another girl.

  The second Cari opened the app, it was like a sucker punch. I physically gripped my stomach. My body recognized the truth before I could even process it. Before Paul had a chance to come up with excuses.

  When I confronted him that night, my boyfriend of four years, the one who’d remembered the one-month anniversary of our first kiss, looked me in the eyes and lied to me. He said the girl in the pic was just a friend, but I knew she wasn’t, even though he stood there and insisted nothing had happened. Even though he said I was overreacting. Even though he accused me of being controlling, of spying on him since he hadn’t posted the photo to his account and wasn’t even tagged. And he was so persuasive, I started to believe him… until he talked about us “exploring our options” this summer and “taking time apart until August.”