Crossing the Wide Forever

by Missouri Vaun

  “Is that true?”

  “Lillie, I know I don’t say enough to you, and when I do say things the words don’t even begin to hold all that I’m feeling.” Cody could sense, even in the dark, that Lillie wasn’t angry any longer. The air between them seemed clear of the tension from earlier.

  “You don’t have to say more, Cody.” Lillie held Cody’s face in her hands. “I was feeling sensitive, that’s all. You didn’t really do anything wrong.”

  “Even still, I want to say things to you. Things that mean something.”

  “There are other ways to say things,” whispered Lillie. She kissed Cody lightly and then lay back on the mattress, pulling Cody along with her. “I want to be with you, Cody.”

  “Lillie, I’m so mad for you. My head gets all mixed up and full of ideas.”

  Lillie unbuttoned her dress, like she’d done before, allowing it to drape open.

  Cody rested on one elbow. Even in the dark, Lillie’s skin looked luminous.

  “Let’s not talk any more right now.”

  “Are you sure?” Cody slid her hand down across Lillie’s ribs and then slowly moved it back up to Lillie’s shoulder.

  “Yes, I’m sure. You said everything I needed to hear.” Cody felt Lillie’s hand at the back of her head pulling her down into a kiss.

  Chapter Twenty-one

  They departed Council Grove just after sunup and left the main Santa Fe Trail heading southwest toward Emporia, Kansas. Lillie checked the folded map one more time when they stopped for lunch. The map from the attorney indicated that her uncle’s property was three miles north of Emporia near the Neosho Creek. Actually, the creek was the southern boundary of the property. If they reached the creek then they’d gone too far.

  She could hardly believe that by the day’s end she would arrive at her uncle’s farm, her farm. The excitement of it all quickened her steps. Tonight they would sleep in a bed and eat at a table. Her bed, her table.

  Her uncle had apparently chosen his claim well. Emporia was located in one of the best timbered spots in Kansas. Situated as it was about six miles above the junction of the Neosho and Cottonwood creeks, there was also ample water. Those two creeks and various other small streams emptied into the Cottonwood River, bordered on the north and south by large belts of timber. Which meant her uncle was able to build the house out of lumber rather than sod.

  Emporia had a hotel, a generous storehouse, a mercantile, and a large sawmill and gristmill. Emporia was growing, but in order to be considered a real town, there needed to be a school. That’s where Lillie would begin teaching in the fall. That would give her plenty of time to settle in to farm life.

  By mid afternoon they came to a fence corner and a pile of stones, and on the thin horizon she could see what looked like the shape of something, possibly a house and a barn.

  “Do you think that’s it?” Lillie shielded her eyes from the sun with her hand and squinted into the distance.

  “I think so. It should be the first farm we come to before the creek. And I don’t see anything else around.” Cody put her hand on Lillie’s shoulder. “The distance seems about right, too. Let’s get going.” She grinned at Lillie, whose enthusiasm seemed to be catching.

  It took another half hour to reach the simple frame house and barn. Lillie had done her best to tempter her expectations. She kept reminding herself that the house had been empty for at least four months and would no doubt be dusty and in some need of repair, but she was pleasantly surprised by its condition.

  She didn’t go inside right away. Lillie stood and silently inspected the place. There was a generous sized barn about fifty feet from the house or so. There was a large door at the front of the barn and a smaller door on one side that opened into a fenced pen. It looked like there was a tiny chicken coop beyond the pen and along the other side of the barn under a lean-to of sorts, stacked firewood.

  There was no yard to speak of, just bits of dry straw and dirt close to the house and barn. There were fields of grass beyond the house, but the area closest to the dwelling looked as if it had been beat down by hooves or foot traffic over time.

  “I’m going to unhitch the team.”

  After Cody had set the animals out to graze, she stood beside Lillie, who was still quietly taking stock.

  “Well, are we going to go inside?”

  “I think I’m afraid to see it.”

  “Come on. How bad can it be?” Cody took Lillie’s hand and tugged her toward the door.

  The first thought Lillie had upon entering the house was that it looked like a bachelor lived in it. There was hardly anything hanging on the walls and no drapes in the windows. The walls were painted, the floor was unpainted planks, and the furniture was all wood. Rustic, that was the word that came to mind. Rustic, but functional.

  A cast iron stove occupied one corner of the kitchen, with a stovepipe to the outside through the wall near the ceiling. There were two other doors off the main room, which seemed to serve as sitting room, kitchen, and dining room all in one.

  Lillie tentatively moved through the door to the right. It was a bedroom. The mattress was missing and only the bed frame with ropes and slats across the bottom remained, with a dresser along one wall, a wash basin, and a stiff looking chair with a woven seat.

  The second small room off the kitchen had a narrow cot along one wall, an oak writing desk, and two more chairs. Through the dusty window she caught a glimpse of the privy set away from the back of the house.

  Lillie realized that the only creature comforts she’d find in this house were the ones she’d brought with her in her two trunks from New York. She picked up an envelope from one of the cubbies in the desk. It was a letter from her mother sent to her uncle more than two years earlier.

  “I like the house.” Cody spoke to her from the door.

  “Do you?”

  “Yes, very much. It seems sound. I don’t see any signs of leaks from the roof. The walls are solid. This is a nice house.”

  Cody’s assessment made Lillie wonder what sort of place Cody had grown up in. This residence was serviceable, but she wasn’t sure she’d use the word nice. But given a few days, she thought it could be. She could make it nice. Maybe even cozy.

  She walked over to Cody and gave her a hug.

  “I can’t believe we’re here.” She squeezed Cody. “Should we unpack the wagon?”

  “Yeah, let’s do that.”

  “Maybe I’ll sweep and clean up a little in here before we bring things in.”

  “I can help. What do you need?”

  “Do you think that pump works?” She walked back toward the front door and pointed toward a hand pump mounted over what looked like a well cover.

  “I’ll find out.” Cody took a bucket from near the front door and began to prime the handle. It took a few minutes before the pumping produced water. She tossed the first bucket of water aside but then smelled and tasted the second. “This water is good.”

  There was a bathtub at the far end of the front porch. Probably set there because of its proximity to the pump. Lillie wasn’t sure what to make of that, but there was no way she’d bathe outdoors.

  Cody carried water back to the house, and Lillie set about wiping down the table, cabinets, and stove area in the kitchen. While Lillie started cleaning in the house, Cody hauled water down to a wooden trough outside the barn. Lillie watched from the window she’d just washed. She could see Shadow walk across the small enclosure to drink.

  By the time the sun was setting, the kitchen was functional and the bed was made, but the trunks had not been completely unpacked. One of them stood on end in the bedroom as if it were a small wardrobe. The other was in the far corner of the main room.

  Dinner was simple again—beans, bacon, potatoes, and biscuits. Most of the rations they carried with them were for cooking over an open fire. They would need to make a trip to Emporia for meat and flour and fabric for sewing curtains, which Lillie had decided they needed.

&nb
sp; After dinner, Lillie followed Cody out to the barn. She watched over the top of the stall as Shadow settled in for the night. There was a fair amount of dry hay. Cody moved some into the stall along with fresh water.

  There was a smaller wagon for light duty in the barn, along with a harness and a breaking plow. It seemed Mr. Taylor’s accounting of the property had been fairly accurate.

  Lillie paused in front of the house and looked west. Cody stopped beside her.

  “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to how dark it is. It’s as if we’re at the edge of the earth.” She turned to Cody, who was looking outward at the darkness too. Lillie decided she was very glad not to be alone. What had she been thinking when she agreed to travel here by herself? No wonder she’d nearly caused her mother to have a nervous breakdown.

  She took Cody’s hand and led her into the house. Somewhere in the distance, a wolf howled. A long, lonesome, eerie call that sent a slight chill up Lillie’s spine.

  Lillie carried the lantern into the bedroom and set it on the dresser near the photo of her parents and sisters she’d brought with her. Exhaustion weighed on her arms as she prepared for bed. In a quick minute, they blew out the candle and were snuggled under the covers. Lillie lay on her back and looked up at the slats of the ceiling, wondering if there was an attic above.

  Beside her, Cody was quiet. Lillie wondered what she was thinking.

  Traveling together seemed somehow easier because they each had roles they needed to fill in order to make the journey. But now they were in a house together. They’d arrived, and it all seemed very odd. Lillie felt unsettled, and she wasn’t even sure why. Maybe it was because she’d been in constant motion since she left New York and now, suddenly, she was still.

  “Are you asleep?” Cody whispered.

  “No.”

  “What are you thinking about?”

  “I guess I was just thinking that I can’t believe we’re here.” They were lying next to each other on their backs, both looking at the ceiling rather than each other. It was almost as if they were both shy again, as if this was the first time they’d slept in a bed together.

  Lillie decided this was silly. She was determined to push through whatever mood she was in and savor this night with Cody. They’d made it to Kansas and they were alone and they had the house to themselves. And no one was around for miles. They could make noise, run through the house naked. She could even take a bath on the front porch if she felt so inclined. She couldn’t help laughing at the picture she conjured up in her mind.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “Nothing, just a mental image I had of us running through the house naked.”

  “That’s what you were thinking about?”

  “Well, I’m not suggesting that we do that right now. Maybe tomorrow.”

  *

  Late the next afternoon, someone appeared on the trail. Lillie was carrying water into the kitchen when she saw a rider on horseback stop along the road near Cody. They were too far away for Lillie to see the rider clearly or hear what he said. Cody had been repairing a bit of fence a fair distance from the house.

  The farm was a hundred and eighty acres, but luckily, only a small portion of it was fenced. Cody had suggested they get a few head of cattle. Lillie had agreed, mostly because the idea of it seemed to suggest that Cody was becoming personally invested in the farm, which gave Lillie hope that she might stay even longer.

  Lillie stood on the porch and watched the exchange from a distance. Their body language seemed to suggest that the conversation was friendly so she went inside. About twenty minutes later, she heard footsteps.

  “We had a visitor.” Cody took her hat off as she came in. She reached for the pitcher and poured herself a cup of water.

  “I saw that. Who was he?”

  “Our neighbor, Joshua Marshall.” Cody took another long drink. “He and his wife own the next farm over between here and Emporia. I guess he’s been keeping an eye on this place, and when he saw smoke he came to check.”

  “Why didn’t you invite him to the house?”

  “I did.” Cody leaned against the freestanding cabinet of drawers near the stove. “He said he couldn’t linger, but he invited us over for Sunday lunch.”

  Lillie smiled. “Sunday lunch?”

  “Yep. I hope you don’t mind, I accepted. I figured it’s good to meet the neighbors.”

  “Absolutely. But wait, what day is today?”

  “I think it’s Saturday.”

  “So, Sunday is tomorrow.”

  “Unless something has gone horribly wrong.”

  Lillie shoved Cody playfully. “Don’t make fun of me. How does anyone keep track of the days out here anyway?” It seemed impossible. There were no formal Sunday services, no daily papers to mark the day and date. All the rituals of city living were stripped away so that the sun rose and set and every day seemed the same.

  “I’ll help you remember.” Cody kissed her cheek and then headed for the door.

  “Come back soon. You promised to show me how to make cornbread.” Lillie called after her.

  “I won’t forget.”

  *

  Sunday, rather than take the heavy overland wagon, Cody hitched Shadow to the smaller buckboard for their short trip over to the Marshall farm. Early in the morning, it looked like rain, but the clouds had blown off to the south and the springtime sun was now high and bright.

  Lillie had used their last can of peaches to make a pie. The dish was in her lap, wrapped in a cloth. Lillie hadn’t wanted them to show up empty-handed so she’d worked all morning on piecrust. It took two rounds to get it right.

  The road south was really more like a wide dirt trail, rutted from wagons in spots. Grass was sprouting down the center of the trail where the wheels hadn’t cut a path. It didn’t take long before the farmhouse was in sight. It looked very similar to Lillie’s place, a simple frame house, a barn, and a few small outbuildings.

  A little girl was playing out front in a small fenced area. She looked in their direction and then ran into the house. By the time they pulled up in front, Joshua was on the porch to welcome them. His little girl clung to his leg, half hiding behind him, but obviously curious to see who was visiting. Before they reached the porch, a woman appeared in the door also.

  “Mr. Walsh, welcome.” Joshua extended his hand. He’d been on horseback the last time Cody had seen him. Now that he was standing, she noticed that they were about the same height. He had a light scruff of beard with auburn highlights, making his beard a shade lighter than his hair. He had a nice way about him, friendly but not overly so.

  “Please call me Cody.” She put her arm around Lillie’s shoulder. “And this is Lillie.” It was still hard for her to use the word wife, but she figured that was implied.

  “Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Walsh. This is my wife, Beth, and our daughter, Patience.”

  “I’d be pleased if you called me Lillie.”

  “Here, let me take that for you.” Beth reached for the dish.

  “It’s nothing fancy, just a peach pie for dessert.” Lillie pulled off her bonnet and followed Beth into the house. Patience trailed behind them, curiosity a quick cure for her wariness.

  “Come on in. Lunch is about on the table.” Joshua led the way and Cody followed, taking her hat off as she stepped indoors. The smell of something savory filled the air along with the scent of fresh biscuits.

  Cody stood in the center of the room and looked around. The house had a nice cozy feel. There were handmade quilts on a stuffed sofa, a pantry cabinet with dishes on shelves. On one end of the big room was a large black cast iron stove, and on the other an open stone fireplace. All the rockwork was blackened at the front. It obviously saw lots of use. Cody wondered how cold it got in Kansas in the winter.

  Lunch was served, and everyone settled at the simple rectangular table. A fifth chair that didn’t match the other four was brought in from the bedroom. Joshua took that seat at the head of the table. Pat
ience was small in her chair, her chin barely at table height. Beth lifted her up and then slipped a shallow wooden box on the chair seat so that she gained some height.

  “So, Patience, do you mind if I ask how old you are?” Lillie passed a plate of sliced boiled potatoes to Cody.

  “I’m four.”

  Patience had dark hair and brown eyes just like her mother. Her skinny arms and legs reminded Cody of her baby sister, Ellen. Her stomach clinched with a wee bit of homesickness. She should write Ellen a letter and let her know how far she’d gotten.

  “Four. You’re so tall for four.”

  “Momma says I’m tall for my age.” She sucked on a biscuit.

  “I can’t tell you how happy I am to have neighbors. You’ll soon find out, but it can get pretty lonely out here, especially when the weather turns cold.” Beth served food for herself and Patience.

  “I do sometimes find the vastness of the open space intimidating.”

  Cody wasn’t sure what intimidating meant, but she wasn’t going to ask in front of folks she didn’t know very well.

  “If you grew up in a city it can feel eerily vacant.”

  “I grew up in New York, Washington Square to be exact.”

  “We’re from just outside of Cincinnati.”

  “So you know exactly what I mean.”

  “I do.”

  Cody could see that Joshua was like her, quiet, happy to sit and eat while Lillie and Beth chatted. Cody knew she wasn’t much of a talker. The thought crossed her mind that maybe Lillie was lonely for conversation.

  “How long have you and Joshua lived here?”

  “Going on two years.”

  “I was a baby and I rode in the wagon,” Patience chimed in.

  “Patience, you remember what I said about talking with food in your mouth?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”