Surviving Emma

by Jen Atkinson

  “Complimented? Have you seen that thing?”

  “Whoa.” I held up my free hand. He couldn’t dis on the dog, I wouldn’t have it.

  “Keith,” Emma gripped, “this weekend. Can we get back to that, before Dakota returns.”

  “Yeah.” He rubbed his hands together. “Emma, I am her father.” The words sounded rehearsed.

  “You could have fooled me.” Emma squeezed my fingers but didn’t move to slug him.

  “And,” he said with more volume. “I deserve to see her when I can.”

  “When you can?” Emma sucked in a breath.

  But it was the word deserve that threw me. “What about what Dakota deserves?” I stared long and hard at the man who Dakota so desperately loved. I wasn’t sure he deserved her.

  “She’s entitled to her dad.” Keith pointed to the ground, trying to drive in his point.

  “She is,” I said, “but not only when it’s convenient for you.”

  “He lives in Massachusetts!” Mindy defended.

  “When was the last time you paid child support?” I asked, and the way Mindy peered at him, she didn’t know. She waited for an answer—certain it would be a reasonable one.

  But I knew different.

  “School is expensive.” Keith stood and paced away from the three of us. “I just bought an engagement ring.”

  A rumble that never turned into any intelligible words hummed in Emma’s throat. I squeezed her fingers—letting her know I had her back and I wasn’t going anywhere.

  Mindy made her way towards him as he hovered by the door. “You didn’t pay child support so you could buy my ring?”

  “Can we please talk about this later?” Keith hushed, leaning his head toward her.

  Emma’s free hand flew to her hip. “Oh, I would love to hear the answer.”

  “Keith,” Mindy said, a pleading in her tone. “Have you ever paid child support?”

  “Mindy, honey, I hadn’t yet reached adulthood when Dakota was born—I didn’t—”

  “And what about me?” Emma blurted. “Had I reached adulthood?”

  Mindy’s face had flushed to a dark pink. “I just—I need a minute.” She side stepped around Keith, opened the front door and stepped out into the cold.

  “Thanks, Em,” Keith spat. He reached for the door handle, but I let go of Emma and hopped to the door, smacking my hand against the side of it.

  “It’s not her fault.” He wouldn’t make Emma feel guilt for his actions. My eyes darted to his hand on the knob. “Now let go of that door. You aren’t leaving here until you’ve said goodbye to your daughter.”

  Keith dropped his hands to his side and puffed out a moan. “Dakota?” he called, walking past Emma and into the hall.

  “Bathroom,” I said. I’d heard Dakota running the tub faucet, trying to clean up her pup.

  Two minutes later, he returned, dripping and smelling of wet dog. “That thing jumped from the tub right onto me.”

  “He likes you,” Dakota said not far behind, carrying a drenched four-legged Keith. “Do you have to go? We haven’t eaten the cake.”

  “Sorry, Dakota.” He shook his head, the ends of his hair wet. “I’m not feeling well. See you tomorrow. Okay?”

  “Okay.” She bit her lip and set a drenched Keith on the ground, leaving a ring of wet on the tan carpet. I’d never heard a more sad speech than in that one word.

  Emma crouched beside her, a tear spilling onto her cheek as she stared at the closed door. “Why don’t we try a slice of your cake?”

  “Without Dad?”

  “Or we could watch Adventures in Babysitting?”

  “I thought you said that movie was inappropriate,” I said before thinking. She’d actually called it an 80s magnum opus that her grandma let her watch, but that Dakota would never be allowed to.

  “I think I just want to read. Come on Keith.” Dakota trundled down the hall, Keith on her heels.

  Emma ran a hand over her forehead and breathed out a heavy sigh. “That man.”

  “Complete imbecile.”

  She grinned at my insult. “You did alright.”

  I’d consider that remark a huge compliment coming from Emma. “Not an idiot then?”

  “Possibly the opposite of an idiot.” Her hazel eyes peered up into mine, making my heart beat a little faster.

  I cupped my hand around her neck and she slid closer. “Are you okay?”

  She nodded into my hold. “I will be. When Dakota’s smiling again and Keith’s gone, I’ll be great.”

  “You—you look great.”

  “Yeah?” She smirked as if my praise were silly.

  “Yeah,” I said, closing the gap between us. Her soft lips moved beneath mine and drew me closer.

  She broke away, her lips skimming mine as she spoke. “Dakota.”

  I pecked her once more. “Go talk to her. I’m going to cut three small slices—”

  She tilted her head.

  “Don’t look at me like that. I have a plan. I’ll talk her into it. And it’s cake—it’ll cheer her up.”

  She shook her head but smiled. Cracking Emma’s hard shell to find the softness she kept hidden had been one of the best things I’d ever had a chance to do. I didn’t even know I’d want to do it or that I’d be able to. But somehow, I chiseled away and she allowed me to. Beneath her hard exterior, I had found all sorts of gems.

  I finished slicing through the row of cake that Dakota had started. She’d heard her dad say that chocolate didn’t agree with him—we were going to eat this cake and make him a vanilla one in the morning. She’d be thrilled. Dakota’s love language had to be service. Yep, after hearing about it from Andy, Emma, and Dakota, I’d borrowed the book from the library. Dakota loved helping people, and making them happy made her happy. I hadn’t figured out Emma’s yet, but I would.

  I set the last slice of cake on a plate when my phone pinged. I licked the chocolate off my thumb and pulled my phone from my pocket. I opened my message app and stared down at the little screen.

  Tess.

  I miss you. Can we talk?

  Chapter 33

  Emma

  Why had I agreed to this? Just because Keith’s girlfriend called me up with some sad story about her single mother and understanding what Dakota and I went through? I didn’t care that Mindy never knew her dad.

  “It’s one day—not overnight,” Carter said. “It’s a good compromise.” He’d been trying to put me at ease all morning, but he acted off. I could tell his mind had its own agenda.

  “What if it snows and they can’t get back?”

  “It’s April.”

  “This is Wyoming, Carter! It snows all the time in April, even in June!”

  “Then we’ll take the backroads and go get her.” He ran a hand over my shoulder and down my back, but he didn’t draw me in. He dropped his hand and strangely, I wanted to force it back.

  “I’m ready!” Dakota raced from her room. “Let’s G-O!”

  “Sweet pea, you don’t have to leave if you don’t want to. I’m sure we could talk your dad into hanging out here.”

  But she screwed her little face into a much too teenagerish expression that said have you gone crazy. “I want to go, Mama.”

  “It’s going to be great!” Carter said, offering his fist for a bump. She hit hers into his. “Don’t forget these.” He handed her the small box with four vanilla cupcakes inside.

  I turned my back to Dakota and whispered in his ear. “So help me if he doesn’t eat every crumb of those cakes—”

  He pecked my lips, shutting me up, and I pushed against his chest, making him step backwards. He laughed and steadied himself. Dakota seemed not to notice, but I couldn’t be sure. Carter and I had such a weird thing going—I didn’t understand it. I’d never be able to explain it to her. Would she never know how to have a normal relationship because I didn’t?

  But then, why couldn’t Carter and I be normal? Why couldn’t we call ourselves a couple like Keith
and Mindy? I shivered at the idea—nothing about it was normal. Even the thought made me want to slap myself out of a stupor.

  “He’s here!”

  “Not so loud, baby. We don’t want to wake up Grandpa.”

  She nodded—she wanted a scene from Taggart as much as I did.

  I bent before her and zipped her coat to the brim. “Be a good girl. And you call if you need anything, okay. I told your dad that you are allowed to call me at any second. If he doesn’t let you Carter will… arrest him.”

  She giggled at my tone, though I’d do much worse than Carter if he didn’t allow her to call me. Kotes put a little hand on my cheek. “Don’t worry, Mama. It’ll be okay. Just because he’s here doesn’t mean I’ll forget about you.”

  Was I that transparent? “I know.” I waved her off, but my voice cracked. “You have the funnest day ever. And make your dad buy you ice cream and BBQ from Bubba’s.”

  “Unless BBQ upsets his tummy.” She covered her mouth and giggled. She may have adored him, but she still had a sense of humor.

  Carter opened the door before Keith could knock. He looked as nervous as I felt. His first day alone with his daughter. He had nothing to worry about, but I wouldn’t tell him that. Let him worry. Let the nervous jitters overtake him. In fact, I’d told Carter to wear his gun and scare the pants off of Keith, but he refused.

  “Ready?” Keith said, rocking on his heels.

  “Ready!” Dakota wrapped her arms around my legs. “Bye, Mom, see you tonight. Bye Carter.” She passed Keith out the door and waved to Mindy waiting in the car.

  Before Keith could leave, I pulled him by the shirt sleeve. “You will eat her cake, and you will have her home by nine. If she wants to call me, she can. Got it?”

  Keith’s right eye began to twitch. “Yes.” His jaw twitched. “Anything else?”

  “If she comes back with a scrape or even a paper cut, you will pay.” I smiled and brushed my hands together. I waved as he scoffed at me, backing up from my porch step to the sidewalk. I slammed the door behind him and turned back to Carter. “I cannot believe I had sex with that man.”

  He snorted a laugh. “I gotta go. Duty calls. You sure you don’t—”

  “You can’t stay, go to work.”

  He laughed a little. “No, I was going to say, are you sure you don’t want to go into work today or drive into Riverton? You can’t sit at home all day, putting up with Taggart and pining for Kotes.”

  “Oh.” I shoved my hands into my pockets. “No. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

  Emma

  “So, Keith has himself a fiancé? Not a surprise there. Bet she’s pretty. And smart.” Taggart reclined, popping his foot rest out and groaning as he lay back.

  “I guess.”

  “She’s in school too?” He flipped another channel on the remote.

  “Yeah, Tag, she is.” Why did he care? Why all the chattiness?

  “Med school, too?”

  I folded another pair of socks and set them on the couch. I would have done this in my room if I’d realized he’d be getting up. “I think so. Why?”

  “No reason.” He broke open the tab on his can of beer and adjusted his broken foot. “Just not surprised.”

  “What does that mean?” I stood up, holding the laundry basket in my hands. I washed and folded his clothes, but I didn’t have to listen to his blather.

  “Just what I said—not surprised.”

  I sighed, opened my mouth to retort, and then stopped. The basket of clothes in my hands pinched at my fingers, and I adjusted my hold on it before starting for the hall.

  “I told Keith all those years ago he could do better than you.”

  My feet turned to lead and I swiveled my neck to see him. “Excuse me?”

  “Smartest kid in the class, athletic, good looking. Yep, I told him.” He took a swig and stopped channel flipping when he found a wrestling match. “Then you got yourself pregnant and I told him again.”

  “You say that like I’m the only one to blame for my pregnancy. Keith showed up too, or did you forget how it works?”

  He snorted, but didn’t look at me. “Pretty sure I remember.”

  “It’s not as if I had any more control over what happened than he did.”

  “You was never worth much. Your mom knew that the minute she laid eyes on you.”

  I dropped the basket and turned my body to face him. “The minute she laid eyes on me—as a brand new infant—she thought I had no worth?” I asked the question, saying the words as if he were the biggest moron on the planet—mostly because he was.

  Finally, he met me eye to eye. “Yep.”

  Instead of going down the hall, I dropped my laundry basket, grabbed my coat and opened the door, grateful I already had my tennis shoes on. “Pretty sure she left because she couldn’t stand to be around you another minute. A feeling I totally understand.”

  “You can tell yourself that,” he called as I strode outside with nowhere to go.

  Carter

  “So, did you get to meet Keith?” Andy tapped a pen on his desk. I could feel his eyes at my back.

  “Yeah.” I read the next column on my small hill of paperwork, filling in the answer as I listened to whatever point Andy tried to make.

  “And?”

  “And what?” I wheeled my chair so that I faced him.

  Andy wiped a little powdered sugar from his top lip. “He’s pretty…” he paused, not knowing how to finish that sentence. Emma had been right—the town sort of worshipped Keith Zaleski—I didn’t know why, either.

  “Pretty?” I said, not letting him finish. “I guess some might think of him as pretty.”

  “No.” Andy threw his napkin into the trash and stood, walking over to the chair in front of my desk. “I mean Keith is a looker, but I meant to say—he’s pretty impressive, yeah?”

  “I don’t know, Andy, he’s just a guy.”

  “Keith wasn’t just the smartest in his class, but he also broke all sorts of records with his testing. And he put Dubois on the map for his track and field records. They still talk about him at the meets.”

  “I’m sure.”

  “Really. It’s no wonder he ended up somewhere respectable and—”

  “And what?” My nerves were already on edge with Tess texting and Emma needing me. I would not drool over Keith Zaleski like everyone else in this town.

  “Nothing.” Andy crossed his legs, adjusting his belly over top of them. “So, you and Emma have gotten pretty close then, huh?”

  “Emma’s a pretty respectable person herself, Andy.” I knew he’d been comparing the two. “It’s like everyone looks at Keith’s shiny medals and they forget who sacrificed, who stayed home to make sure Dakota had at least one involved parent.”

  “Well, yeah—”

  “Did you know that Keith doesn’t even pay child support?”

  “I mean, that’s none of my—”

  “Keith, who you all adore and praise, he can’t spare a few bucks for his own kid. Our sweet Dakota. Next time you all want to put him up on a pedestal, remember that.”

  “Geez, who put a bee in your boxers?”

  “A bee in my what?” I stood, snatching my cell and pulling my coat from the rack. “I’m gonna start my rounds early.”

  Andy ran a hand over his greasy gray hair. “All right.”

  Breathing out, I slipped my arms through my coat and stopped next to the exit. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to get short. Keith seems like a nice guy.” He did. And Dakota loved him. “He needs to do more for his family. Emma doesn’t get enough credit, that’s all I meant.”

  “Sure.” He simmered with my apology. “See you later?”

  “Yeah, I’ll be back.” I pushed open the door, but paused. “Hey, Andy, we got paid yesterday, right?”

  “Automatic payment. It should have gone through.”

  “Yeah, I’m sure it did.” My recent spending habits were catching up to me. I hadn’t put more than a hundre
d bucks in my nest egg in the last two months. Honestly, I hadn’t thought about it until Tess texted. I opened my bank app and scrolled through my accounts. I knew the expenses coming on my credit card bill. I’d spent half my paycheck already. I’d do it again if it meant seeing Dakota and Emma smile. Still, I wouldn’t be putting anything into the nest egg this month either. I pulled up my separate, secret operation get-Tess-back savings account, $27,984.88.

  I stare at that number. It didn’t scream Tess to me anymore. I didn’t know what it wanted to tell me. I hadn’t put Tess behind me—not completely, but I didn’t feel the same about her either. I had feelings for Emma, real, confusing, intense feelings. So, maybe I’d start calling this account my Fiji fund—I’d always wanted to go. I could now, and I could spend a month exploring instead of five days.

  I scrutinized the numbers until the two and the seven had begun to blur together. My phone pinged with a text and I blinked. Another ping sounded.

  Emma: Taggart needs his jaw wired shut, so I’m spending the afternoon with Virgie. If you come by, that’s where I’ll be.

  I laughed at the thought of Taggart’s mouth shut tight, a metal band keeping the man quiet. Though, I hoped he hadn’t given her too hard of a time. As hard as Emma’s shell seemed to be, she felt everything he threw at her.

  Text number two, Tess:

  Are you still planning to visit your parents next month? We could take a stroll on the beach like we used to and just talk.

  I was still planning on going to Florida. I had the work week off. My family and Andy planned on it—everyone but Emma and Dakota knew my arrangements. But the real plan had never been about my parents. I scheduled this trip months ago with the idea that I’d have $35,000 or more in my account by now. I’d talk Tess into seeing me, make dinner for her, and give her 35,000 reasons we should get back together. That, or the house on Draper. I hadn’t decided yet. Tess had never been material, but her mind needed logic to be put at ease. If I had enough security and a plan for us, she may see things my way.