Take Me

by Bella Andre

  Travis stared at Janica uncomprehendingly. He had to find Lily. "Did she say where she was going?"

  Janica shrugged. "Nope. Her note said she'd be gone all morning." Her eyes narrowed. "You're not going to do anything stupid are you?" Rolling her eyes, she added, "What I mean is, I hope you're not going to do anything even stupider than what you did yesterday, because she was pretty upset last night. A little romance wouldn't kill you, you know."

  Something wasn't right. Janica wasn't ripping him to shreds like she normally did. But right then, Travis didn't have time to find out what game she was playing. The ring was burning a hole in his pocket and he was dying to slip it on Lily's ring finger.

  If she let him.

  He headed back down the stairs, his mind racing. Where would Lily be? Like a lightning bolt, it hit him. She was keeping the appointment they had made with one last antique dealer.

  "That's some good work ethic," he mused as he headed for his rental car. Lily never ceased to surprise him. Even when he had treated her like dirt, when most women would be moping and feeling sorry for themselves and planning his downfall, she was out briskly taking care of business.

  Not that she couldn't be planning his downfall at the same time, he supposed with a wry grin.

  "Good luck!" Giuseppe called out, and Travis almost laughed. Giuseppe had no idea how much luck Travis needed.

  He drove like a madman. Thankfully, the streets were deserted so no one had to jump out of the way to save him-or herself. His heart was beating a million miles an hour when he pulled up in front of the antique store. He sat in the car to regain his composure. Through the leaded window that faced the establishment he saw a flash of blue.

  It had to be Lily.

  He cursed himself for being such a wimp. Get out of the car and go win her back you idiot, he told himself determinedly. Travis stepped out onto the pavement, already warm from the early-morning sunshine. He walked around the car to the front door and reached for the handle but didn't turn it.

  It killed him to admit it, but he was scared. What if she saw him and turned away as if he didn't exist? What if she looked right through him? He would rather have screaming than coldness. At least then he'd know that she still felt something for him.

  Shaking his head at the way his doubts were running away with themselves, Travis took a deep breath, turned the knob, and entered the store.

  The front room was empty, so he closed the door behind him quietly and headed for the large room at the back of the building. He stepped into the open garden area. And that's when he saw her: a goddess in blue, her red hair flaming in the sun, running her fingers over a pile of brightly colored tiles.

  Travis's breath stilled as she lifted a heavy tile up to the light. He remembered watching her at the furniture store, dusting the dining table. She had been so sexy then, but now that he knew Lily intimately--how she liked her coffee in the morning, what made her laugh out loud, that she was afraid of spiders and snakes no matter how small or harmless they were--she was infinitely more beautiful to him. Had it only been one week since he'd woken up to the one thing he'd been missing his whole life?

  Only to lose her now if he didn't play his cards right.

  He heard a sound like an animal getting caught in a steel trap and only when Lily whirled around with her hand on her heart to look straight at him did Travis realize that the awful noise had come from him.

  "What are you doing here?" she exclaimed as she took a nervous step back into a pile of tiles.

  "I had to find you, Lily."

  Her eyes were wide as she stared at him. In her eyes Travis saw hope and sadness and fear and, how he wished it was still true, love.

  The old Travis would have slickly laid out all of the reasons why she should be with him, why she should love him, reasons she wouldn't be able to deny. But the new Travis flat out didn't have the words. Not when he looked at Lily and saw her goodness.

  Moving slowly toward her, trying not to frighten her away again, he went down on one knee. Lily gasped when she realized what he was doing, and Travis took advantage of her surprise by taking her hands in his.

  "Lily," he croaked, his throat full of emotion. One lone tear slid down her cheek. "There are no words to make up for what I did last night. There's nothing I wish I could take back in my life more than my thoughtless words." Lily's tears were falling in earnest now, as Travis said, "You're so important to me, sweetheart, and it doesn't matter how hard I have to work to win you back or gain your trust. I'll do it. You're the most important person in the world to me, and I love you. Please, if you can ever forgive me"--he reached into his pocket for the ring, and Lily gasped again in shock--"would you be my wife?"

  INSTINCTIVELY LILY FOUGHT the reality before her. But the man she loved, the man she had always loved, the man she knew she would always love regardless of whether it made any sense or not, was kneeling at her feet begging her to forgive him.

  Begging her to marry him.

  The silly, naive girl inside Lily who still believed in fairy tales and heroes on noble steeds wanted to be swept into his arms. If only she could erase the past twenty-four hours, to rewind the tape so there wouldn't need to be any more apologies.

  Watching the open book of emotions pass across Travis's face with each passing second, a small voice of hope whispered inside of Lily's head, Look at him. Hasn't he changed? Hasn't he done everything he can to apologize? Why are you denying yourself what you want more than anything else in the world?

  That little nudge was all Lily needed. She didn't have it in her to reject Travis. She never had, and the truth was she never would.

  The dam broke inside her heart, then Lily was on her knees, kissing him, saying, "I love you, Travis," over and over until Travis's tears mingled with hers.

  "You're crying," she said, and she reached up to wipe away his tears. He was brushing her soft skin with his thumb, looking like he could hardly believe that she had actually forgiven him.

  He kissed her again, soft then hard. "Will you?" he asked softly, and she nodded.

  "Yes, Travis," she said, her words trembling as he kissed her lips softly. "I want to be your wife. I want you to be my husband."

  Travis held out her hand and slipped the ring onto the third finger of her left hand. "You're mine, all mine," he said, ''forever."

  She stared at the ring in wonder. "It's the most beautiful ring I've ever seen, Travis. Where did you find it?"

  Travis scrambled to his feet and reached for Lily to help her up. He hugged her tightly, "That's a secret that only Giuseppe and I know the answer to, I'm afraid," he teased.

  The dealer returned with a bottle of champagne and two glasses. "There is something to celebrate, yes?" he asked, with a charming grin.

  "Yes," Travis said, "yes, there is." He intertwined his arm with Lily's so that they could drink from each other's cups, while Lily tried to convince herself that she felt safe and secure in the knowledge that she and Travis would be together for the rest of their lives.

  THE REST OF THE DAY and the early morning flight back to San Francisco on Tuesday was a blur for Lily. Janica and Luke had been stunned by her new ring, but pleasantly so, which was a relief. She hadn't wanted to defend her relationship with Travis to her sister and best friend, partly because she hadn't had a clue what she'd say.

  Luke and Janica slept in their suite that night, so Lily got a tiny reprieve from being all alone with Travis. It wasn't that she didn't still crave him. Of course she did. But she was glad to have a little space to process everything that had happened before she fell back into his arms.

  Yes, she'd always been in love with Travis, ever since they were kids. But in retrospect, Lily could see that it had been infatuation, not real love. Real love was so much more complex. Had she even scratched the tip of the iceberg yet?

  Everything had happened so fast--one week was simply not enough time to process the changes in herself, in Travis, in their relationship--and Lily's head buzzed with it all.
Professionally, the trip had gone amazingly well, and the crates would soon begin to pour in with treasures for the house. She had vague thoughts of getting her own business up and running, but thinking of the future hurt her head. Maybe, she admitted, that was because she wasn't completely sure what the future held with Travis.

  Even after hearing his vows to her as he slipped the incredible ring onto her left hand, she felt unsure. He couldn't know what trials lay before them in San Francisco.

  Worry turned into bleakness as her doubts ran away with themselves. What if she couldn't fit into his real life? Or worse still, what if she couldn't handle the realities of his past? What was she going to do when confronted with stunning ex-girlfriends? What if his friends didn't think she was good enough for him? What if she never felt like she measured up compared to Travis? Could their love really last if she always felt inferior to him?

  Lily took a large gulp of white wine. She just needed to shake herself out of this weird funk she was in. She glanced back toward the laughter flowing in from the in-flight bar behind the seats. Unlike her, Travis had been in great form since she had accepted his proposal. He was all smiles, and Lily didn't detect even the slightest bit of worry or doubt. He and Luke had been hanging out at the bar, and even Janica had joined them when Lily feigned sleep. She wished she could find the energy, or the will, to partake in the merriment, but she didn't have it in her. Here she should be celebrating the one thing she had wanted all her life: Travis's ring on her finger and promises of forever. It was probably just fatigue, she thought, drifting off into a restless nap.

  The next thing she knew they were landing in San Francisco and picking up luggage. Travis was so solicitous, carrying her bags, keeping his arm around her, kissing her cheek and the top of her head. God, she wished she didn't have such a headache. It was pounding through her brain like an anvil.

  In the parking garage she kissed Janica and Luke good-bye and climbed into Travis's Jaguar. She closed her eyes and leaned back against the headrest, glad that he didn't want to talk right at that moment. If she could just take some deep breaths and get some oxygen to her brain, maybe her headache would be gone by the time he dropped her off at her apartment.

  But when she opened her eyes they weren't in front of her unassuming Noe Valley apartment. Instead, Travis was standing in front of his loft. "Welcome home, sweetheart."

  Lily blinked back tears. What the hell was she doing crying? Wasn't this her ultimate dream? Why was she longing for the peace and quiet of her homey living room and kitchen, instead of the cold steel and hard lines of Travis's loft?

  "Oh," was all she said in reply, but when he looked at her with a question in his eyes she made herself smile, and say, "I guess I hadn't really thought about our living together." His eyes clouded over, and she fumbled, "I mean, obviously we're going to live together, but I hadn't really thought about where we'd live."

  He rubbed her arm gently out on the sidewalk in the morning light. "I thought we'd stay at my loft until we found something to buy together," he said.

  For some crazy reason the words "something to buy together" tied her stomach up in awful knots. Travis was so sure of himself, so sure of every decision he made, and it was one of the things she had always admired about him. She had always been so wishy-washy, so afraid to make the wrong decisions that she pretty much never made any decisions at all. Lily desperately wanted to be the bold new her that she had cultivated in Italy, but she couldn't fight the feeling that something was going to go terribly wrong in the near future.

  When would Travis wake up next to her and realize that he had sold himself short? Tomorrow? Next week? Next year? Every time they went out he would see the kind of beautiful, perfect women he could have had, then he would look at her and wonder why he had made such a rash proposal.

  Travis was waiting for her to say something again, and she didn't want to disappoint him. After all, why make their eventual breakup happen immediately by her own sullen behavior? She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight. He lifted her up off the ground, spinning her around. Forcing a playful wink, she said, "Let's see how long it takes me to girly up your bachelor pad."

  Travis laughed, and said, "Have at it." Lily was surprised. He didn't seem the least bit dismayed by the thought of having her in his personal space.

  Trying to be lighthearted, she said, "Bet you won't feel the same way once the boxes of tampons are under your bathroom sink." She cursed herself for being such an idiot. He's not going to think tampons are cute and funny. Way to remind him that you're ruining his perfect bachelor life.

  He laughed and made the appropriate face. "It's either that or babies, right?" he said with a straight face, but when Lily's mouth dropped open he hugged her again, and said, "You should have seen the look on your face," laughing at his joke. In a loud voice he declared, "Bring on the tampons. I'm man enough."

  Travis lifted their bags from the trunk. Lily threw her purse over her shoulder and followed him to the front door. A large pile of mail sat on the floor to the right.

  A pink-and-red envelope caught her eye. Lily's fingers tingled with the urge to rip it open. It was no surprise to her that women wrote Travis love letters. Frankly, she would have been more surprised if they didn't. Women had always chased Travis: At least she hadn't been alone in her obsession. She stared at the poisonous letter on the floor, her imagination hurling images at her of naked photos, lightly perfumed, slipped in between expensive sheets of stationery that declared true love and endless sex. The women who wrote these letters were beautiful women with perfect figures. Twenty-one, probably, and barely legal enough to be sipping a chilled glass of white wine in between rumpled bedsheets.

  Maybe he could turn a blind eye to these love notes if the way he said he felt about her was real, she thought with a smidgeon of hope. But after ten or twenty naked pictures floating into his mailbox from the postman, wouldn't he realize that he was missing out on all of that young, decadent flesh? Wouldn't he long to touch round, firm breasts and kiss pink, pouting lips?

  Travis dropped their bags in the foyer and bent down to pick up the pile of mail. He grabbed the pink envelope and Lily's heart fell to the floor. He turned to her with a smile. "Looks like Janet had her baby."

  Lily stuttered with surprised. "That's a birth announcement?" Her voice was breathless and shaky.

  Travis raised an eyebrow. "What did you think it was?" Lily turned red with shame at her awful assumptions, and Travis chuckled. "A love letter?"

  Lily shook her head too fast in denial and felt so dizzy that she leaned against the oak table near the door to steady herself.

  Travis dropped the mail as he reached out for her. "You're exhausted, aren't you?" he asked, the concern in his sea-green eyes making her feel like a traitor.

  "A little," she said in a small voice.

  His arm warm around her, he led Lily into his living room and got her settled on the couch by the window. "Why don't you relax here while I unpack, then I'll rustle us up something to eat?" He lowered his voice to a sensual pitch. "And then, if you're feeling better, we can officially have our wedding night."

  The beautiful ring he'd given her felt heavy and cold on her finger until Travis kissed her lightly once, then twice, the third time slipping his sweet tongue into her mouth. Lily responded instinctively, and when his forearms brushed against her breasts she gasped at the sensation.

  "Hopefully that'll give you something to look forward to."

  When he'd taken the bags into the bedroom she held her hand up to the light. The huge sapphire sparkled wildly, casting colored shadows on the walls.

  Lily couldn't hide from the feeling that she didn't deserve to be wearing the exquisite ring. What about her was good enough to win Travis's love? She wasn't pretty enough, wasn't charismatic enough, she wasn't even a dynamite businessperson, no matter how well he seemed to think she had done in selecting furnishings for his client.

  But Lily's fears went even deeper than her usu
al insecurities about her looks. When would Travis see that there was a big difference between falling in love with someone during a wild trip to Italy and actually living with that person in the real world?

  Lily sighed and curled up into a ball on the couch. She knew it was her old lack of confidence rearing its ugly head again, but even though she knew what the problem was, it didn't mean she knew how to fix it.

  The only thing she knew for sure was that when Travis took her to bed that night, she was going to knock his socks off. Maybe the amazing sex they shared would keep Travis by her side, at least for a little while.

  TRAVIS HAD BEEN PLAGUED with the nagging sense that something wasn't quite right with Lily all day, but her response to his kiss on the couch banished his worries. She was likely tired, and he couldn't wait to get into bed with her again. They hadn't made love since the morning of the festival. Making love to Lily ranked number one on his list of the most satisfying things he had ever done, and he looked forward to a lifetime of as much wild sex as they could fit in.

  Starting with tonight.

  He called for some Chinese food to be delivered, then dumped the contents of their bags into the hampers in his laundry room. Maria, his cleaning lady, would be in the next morning, and she would take care of their clothes.

  Heading back into the kitchen, he pulled a bottle of Chardonnay out of the fridge and uncorked it in one smooth motion. He poured two glasses and handed one to Lily who had risen from the couch and was leaning on his steel-topped kitchen island.

  Seeing her in his environment, soft and round against the sharp, flat metals and plate-glass windows, he felt bad about assuming she'd live with him until they found another home. Taking a sip of wine he said, "I never realized what a bachelor's pad this really is."

  Lily's eyes widened in surprised. He leaned against the other side of the island, and said, "Cheers" as he lightly bumped his glass into hers.

  "Cheers," she repeated, but she didn't drink. Instead she said, "It's a wonderful space, Travis. So full of light."

  Travis was warmed by her compliment, yet he couldn't miss what she didn't say. He prompted her, "But?"